Ambivalence
by Knowledge Eater
Summary: He knew she was different, she was doing her best to be accepted and loved, to feel like she was special. So upon their final confrontation he couldn't kill her, couldn't leave her to die in that river. Time would tell if he'd grow to regret his decision.
1. A Choice

Ambivalence

Chapter 1: A Choice

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Aiden knew it wasn't real.

The Bliss was a hallucinogen. He knew everything wasn't real. Faith with wings and flying. The green orbs of light that she threw at him. When he touched one of them it looked like it melted the skin from his bones. Initially it hurt like hell, but once the panic subsided and he was hit by another green orb he felt nothing.

Still there were some things in the Bliss that he didn't want to ignore, the cult followings being one of them. They had guns. But they evaporated into mist should he shoot or swing at them with his AKM.

It was difficult to tell how long he had been battling Faith. He had walked, ran, swam, and drove more in the last few days than he ever had in his entire life. But there was no denying that the experience toughened him more than the training he underwent for his deputy position. With that said he wasn't sure if the last few days were finally catching up to him or this encounter was lasting so long that the adrenaline was starting to ebb away. His muscles were beginning to feel a little stiff which resulted in him moving slower.

The rookie deputy took another swing at a nearby Peggie, the name the locals had for the cult members, and distinctly heard the satisfying slap of metal against flesh. Whether it was a hallucination or not, he took advantage and lifted his rifle to take the shot.

 _Click._

Aiden cursed. Of all times for his clip to run dry! The Peggie was already moving and he didn't want to miss this opportunity, it was the first time he felt anything solid in the Bliss. He wasn't sure if he had any extra clips for his AKM, so he settled for pulling out his pistol. Before he could properly aim he fired a few blind shots.

One of the shots hit true. He almost missed it, but between shots he heard a yelp. The adrenaline came back, the aches and pains of his own wounds faded and it wasn't so difficult to keep moving anymore.

His foot slid on a short slope and his ankle suddenly felt cold and wet. The battle between him and Faith was over a field of flowers, there was no sight of water or even a puddle. This was good, the Bliss was weakening.

The Peggie he shot vanished and nothing else attacked him. Faith herself wasn't in sight, but he could still hear her voice. With some sense of satisfaction, he could hear the strain it took her to speak. Was she really that Peggie that he shot?

Without having to dodge and shoot and run for his life, he was able to fully focus on her voice and the things she was saying. She spoke about not being at fault, that Joseph, the cult's leader, forced her to be this way.

 _Lies_ , he immediately thought. He was aware of Faith's reputation. Similar to Joseph, she knew how to talk to people, knew how to get people to empathize, and then she took advantage.

Still, his chest tightened in sympathy.

Ever since he encountered Faith, since he helped the resistance slowly take control of her territory, she told him her little sob story. A history of abuse and loneliness. He understood then the reason for her joining the cult, to find acceptance. It made sense, and in a way he wasn't able to hate her as much as he hated the other cult heralds, the sadistic John and sociopathic Jacob.

But now?

Now, he wasn't sure he hated her at all.

 _Stop_ , he mentally scolded himself. This had to be her ploy, to plant a seed of doubt in him. He couldn't afford to sympathize for her now. She may not have physically pulled the trigger that murdered Hope Country's mayor and the hundreds of other people that were killed, but she still orchestrated their deaths.

Aiden blinked and suddenly he noticed a silhouette stumbling about in his peripheral vision. By the time he focused on the shadow it was gone. He blinked again and what was an empty field of flowers around him became a cluster of trees. As quickly as the trees appeared they were gone and replaced by the flowers.

The Bliss continued to lose its effects on him, and Faith knew it. She shouted something, but he paid her no mind. He continued to focus on the group of trees that were several feet in front of him a few seconds ago. He took another step and felt the cold wetness reach just below his knee. He focused on the feel of the water.

Every blink seemed to drive the Bliss away. Trees, bushes, even a river bank melted into view and remained in place. The silhouette stood before him now and then the short, white dress appeared. Aiden blinked hard and finally he found himself looking at Faith, face to face at last.

He was taken aback for a moment when he saw her face. The only time he met Faith that wasn't in the Bliss was when he arrested Joseph. Her face was swollen, her left eye socket was already dark and bruised, and blood caked her right cheek, just next to her mouth.

There was no one else around them, alive or not. So that whole battle in the Bliss, he faced her and her alone the entire time. His chest clenched in pity again. When he faced Jacob and John they were both surrounded by their followers. They had backup. But Faith was alone against him. The hallucinations caused by the Bliss gave her an advantage, but if she had the Peggies helping her he'd no doubt be dead right now.

Did she have to stop him alone in order to redeem herself to Joseph?

Movement snapped him out of his thoughts and he saw her reaching for him, a look of longing twinkling in her eyes. By instinct, his body jerked back and barely avoided contact by her outreached hand. His hand twitched, he wanted to reach for the gun at his holster. It was then that he realized his handgun was absent from his grip. But he didn't need it, he could see now that Faith wasn't armed. There were no weapons nearby other than his empty AKM a few feet behind her, on the other side of the river.

Faith didn't move, didn't speak. An array of emotions crossed her face as she slowly lowered her hand. Shock melted into disappointment, and then sadness. No, it wasn't sadness, he thought. It was despair. Then there was other movement, a nod of her chin and then a new emotion on her face, acceptance.

The resistance, and himself included, believed Faith to be a liar. She said all the right things to make people believe her, and then she manipulated them. But all the emotions that she displayed so quickly seemed too genuine, too real. His chest was no longer clenched, but a heaviness settled in it.

She moved away from him and that's when he noticed her limp. His eyes drifted down and he saw more blood. Rivulets of blood snaked down her right leg. With one final warning about Joseph, she threw herself more than collapsed into the river. She was floating, her face slightly above the water surface. And then her head turned so that her mouth and nose were under the water.

 _Is she dead_ , he thought. With the blood and her dress, he couldn't see where he had shot her, couldn't tell if he hit an artery. It was possible she passed out from blood loss. And now with her face under water she'd soon drown.

Dread hit him. And guilt. But he should feel satisfied, right? He avenged the mayor and all those people that died at the jail. He avenged the Marshall. With Faith's death all of the cults heralds were down, and all that was left to destroy the cult was to arrest its leader.

He was starting to feel lightheaded and the edges of his vision became slightly clouded. He looked down and noticed a few Bliss flowers near his feet. He took a step away and gave one final glance at Faith's body. One moment her body floated, her face looking almost serene and peaceful, and then her body evaporated into a stream of light that homed in towards his feet. His eyes followed the light and watched as it settled into one of the Bliss flowers.

It seemed fitting that she would rest as a flower, even if it was a hallucinogenic. His body moved on its own accord and he found himself bent over and then he plucked the flower. Then he tossed it into the river.

It was a long walk back to the jail. Hopefully he'd find a Peggie vehicle to steal. His body ached, but thankfully his wounds were no worse than a few bruises and scratches. He thought back to the confrontation with Faith, how was she planning on killing him if she didn't have any weapons?

Aiden fell deep in thought and stopped walking suddenly. Did she plan on killing him? Then he remembered all the things she told him upon first encountering her and of their numerous meetings afterward. She thought she could save him, the same way she felt Joseph saved her.

He shook his head and continued walking. If what she said about Joseph forcing her to serve him was true, then she didn't realize that she and he shared the same enemy. It was too bad _she_ was beyond saving. Joseph had her too brainwashed and devoted to him, just like the rest of his followers. Suddenly, he stopped walking.

 _Don't think about it. Don't think about it._

He thought about it.

A wave of guilt hit him. Another bout of adrenaline fueled his tired muscles and he was running back to the river. With the tiny remnants of the Bliss out of his system, he saw Faith was still in the water.

The rookie all but jumped into the cold water and lifted Faith up. He didn't hear her gasp in breaths, didn't see her chest move.

This was bad.

He quickly placed her down on the hard ground, it was more rocks and dirt than sand. It was a good thing one of his work requirements was to be trained and certified in CPR, and with the wildlife that was common in the county he had some basic training in first aid as well.

After plotting her demise for so many days, it was strange to feel relieved upon feeling a heartbeat. But it was very faint. He grew worried when she failed to respond to the rescue breathing after what felt like several minutes, but that faint heartbeat remained. And then she was gasping and coughing. When the coughs turned into chokes, he pulled her onto her side. He didn't mind when she coughed out water onto his lap.

Once her coughs and spluttering subsided, her eyelids fluttered open. Blue eyes looked around but were quick to focus on him, then they narrowed in confusion. Before Aiden could say anything she winced and his thoughts immediately went to her bullet wound.

Faith's leg was coated in blood, and to see so much of it made him worried. First, he had to stop the bleeding, or at the very least slow it down. He'd worry about where to take her later.

He didn't have any bandages. The thought to rip his shirt for makeshift bandages immediately crossed his mind. His shirt wouldn't be the cleanest, it was damp with sweat and water from the river, but it was important he stop the bleeding. As he unbuttoned his red plaid shirt Faith seemed coherent enough to speak.

"Why?" Her voice was weak and she looked like she was having difficulty keeping her eyes open.

Aiden was no doctor, or even a medic, but he'd seen enough movies and shows to know that it was bad for a person to sleep after losing a lot of blood. Well, he hoped there was some truth behind that, at least.

"I need you to stay awake, okay," he told her as he ripped a strip from the bottom of his shirt.

Her eyebrows knotted together in a frown for a quick moment before her face twisted into another grimace when Aiden wiped aside the blood on her leg. She gasped from the sudden pain, but didn't cry out. With some of the blood out of the way he immediately found the small circle in her flesh. He balled up a strip of his shirt and pressed it as hard he could against the wound. This time Faith did cry out, which brought that familiar twinge of guilt in his chest.

The red material quickly soaked up even more red that it looked black. But when he swapped for a new strip he noticed the wound wasn't leaking as much blood anymore. He applied pressure on the her leg again and suddenly felt like an idiot for not checking for an exit wound. He gingerly lifted her leg, which caused Faith to bite her lip to keep from crying out, and inspected the back of her thigh.

The deputy breathed a sigh of relief when he found the exit wound, the bullet went straight through. And if the blood was lighting up then an artery wasn't hit. Okay, so far so good. He applied pressure to both wounds and had to nudge Faith awake several times. Her slipping in and out of consciousness was worrying him.

Once he was satisfied with the lack of the bleeding, he tore the rest of his shirt and wrapped the strips tightly around her thigh. Now that her wound was taken cared of, he thought of the next bridge he would have to cross.

Where would he take Faith now?

The County Jail just barely survived an attack from Faith. Numerous people didn't make it. It would be very possible numerous people wouldn't be accepting if Aiden were to show up with an injured Faith. Even more probably wouldn't approve of sharing their medical supplies and medicine for her.

The young rookie rubbed his face in exasperation. Okay, so maybe he didn't plan this all the way through. For now, he stood up and carefully lifted Faith. He still wasn't sure exactly where he was. So he picked a direction and started walking. Hopefully he'd come across a street. Or an abandoned vehicle. He had that much time to plan what the hell he was going to do. He had even more time to figure out why he even spared Faith, it would've been so much easier to leave her to die in the river.

Sometimes Aiden thought things would be so much easier if he was just inherently good.


	2. Shelter

Ambivalence

Chapter 2: Shelter

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

If Aiden could enter the lottery, he'd no doubt win the jackpot with the luck he had going for him.

First, heading in a random direction paid off. He found a road, it wasn't a busy one since a single car had yet to drive by, but it helped give him an idea of where to go. Not long after he walked down the road he found an abandoned car. It wasn't in the best shape, one side of the vehicle was riddled with bullet holes, the windshield was cracked, and the hood of the car had the word SINNER spray painted on it. But it worked, the keys were still in the ignition, and it had over half a tank of gas.

It was odd to see a car attacked in such a manner in Faith's region, they were more normal up north in the Whitetail Mountains. Regardless, he was damn happy for a working car. The adrenaline long since drained away and it was a struggle to keep carrying Faith, light as she was.

With Faith in the passenger seat, Aiden drove about half a mile by the time he thought of what he should do. He could head back to the county jail or find shelter elsewhere. The Cougars were well stocked at the jail, they had plenty of food, water, and most importantly medicine. They also had the closest thing to a doctor, he was a veterinarian but he knew enough medical stuff to keep people alive when they got hurt. Luckily, he was one of the few that hadn't been taken or injured when the Peggies attacked the place.

Bad thing was, with the attack being so recent, he doubted anyone would be in a calm state of mind if they saw Faith. He wouldn't be able to protect her alone, and he wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone against her presence either. The more he thought on it, the better it seemed to seek out another place to rest. Maybe he could find a bunker, just about every single one he found was stock full of supplies.

He glanced at the woman beside him and panicked when he saw her eyes were closed, her chin touching her chest.

"Hey!" He grabbed at her shoulder and shook her. When she failed to respond he slammed on the brakes. Thankfully he had remembered to put the seatbelt on her, if he hadn't she probably would have flown out of the windshield, or at least face plant it. But the sudden jolt seemed to have jarred her back to consciousness. She let out a soft groan before her eyes fluttered open. With a grimace, she lifted her head and promptly glared at him.

Good. He'd be worried if she woke up and was confused. If she was angry enough at him to glare at him then it meant she wasn't in too bad of shape.

"What did we agree on," Aiden asked. "No naps." The woman didn't respond, but she didn't ignore him either.

They were on the road for several minutes before the deputy finally found a dirt road. He still hadn't recognized the area so that meant they weren't too close to the County Jail. The dirt road took them far enough into the woods that led to a small cabin, a cluster of trees hid the dwelling from the main road.

The cabin looked abandoned, there was no sign of any movement, no vehicles, no animals. Still, Aiden didn't trust to barge in. He left Faith in the car, but took the car keys with him. Just in case someone was still living in the cabin, he knocked on the door and waited a moment. When no one answered, and he failed to see any movement from the window, he tested the doorknob and was faintly surprised to find it unlocked.

The deputy stepped inside with his pistol in hand. "Hello," he called out. The cabin had a small living room, a kitchen, a bedroom and a bathroom. Whoever lived there seemed to have been in a hurry to leave, the place was messy and there was a forgotten suitcase filled with clothes on the bed. None of the windows were broken, the door was unlocked but not damaged, so no one tried to break in. There was food in the fridge and pantry. Aiden felt like he struck gold when he found a first aid kit in the bathroom.

He had left Faith alone in the car long enough. The sooner he brought her in and bandaged her leg properly the sooner he could rest. And eat. He was starving.

With the little time that he spent in the cabin, Faith managed to walk halfway back to the street. She heard the door close when he stepped outside and she stopped walking, her head tilted down in acceptance of getting caught trying to escape.

"So you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" Aiden called out.

She didn't respond, not that he expected her to. He stepped next to her and noticed her shoulders stiffen, she still kept her eyes downcast too. It was odd to see her submissive. Then again, he wasn't under the influence of the Bliss so she was powerless against him. But after a moment she looked up at him.

"Are you…forcing me to go with you?" She asked, her voice soft and almost difficult to hear over the constant chirping of birds nearby.

It was then that Aiden felt a coldness sweep through him and his stomach dropped to his feet. Technically, Faith never avoided going with him. But now she was trying to leave, and if he were to force her to remain with him that would technically be kidnapping. Even though Aiden long since abandoned his uniform to avoid detection from the Peggies, he had kept his belt to store ammo and he still had his handcuffs. To keep Faith with him he would have to arrest her.

The question was, what could he arrest her for? Sure, she had the reputation for being a manipulator. Through the Bliss she manipulated countless people to assault, kidnap and murder others. But he had no proof of it. As it was he had no idea how she was even able to manipulate people through the hallucinogen.

With a deep breath, the junior deputy stepped in front of the shorter woman. He was aware that her name wasn't Faith, but he found no need to display that knowledge just yet. It was difficult to explain, but he felt that it was important that she be the first to come forth about her real name. "Forcing you? No…well, uh, not exactly." He reached for the back of his belt and pulled out his handcuffs. "However, you are under arrest for the making and distribution of an illegal substance." It was the best thing he could think of. There was plenty of evidence and witnesses that would point her as being the one in charge of the Bliss. With the active ingredient in the hallucinogen, it would obviously be an illegal substance.

Different emotions twirled in Faith's blue eyes. The corner of her bloodied lip curled, but she didn't laugh. But he could see the flash of fear in her eyes. With a sigh, Aiden stuffed his cuffs back into the pouch. "You're officially under arrest, but I won't handcuff you. You're hurt. But if you try to escape again then I will have no choice but to handcuff you anyway, injured or not. Understood?" The humor vanished from her face, but her eyes narrowed in a small glare.

He waved towards the cabin behind her. "Would you rather walk or should I carry you?" She continued to remain silent, but she turned and slowly limped towards the cabin. Aiden almost whistled as he watched her. He had been shot in the leg once, when he was still up north in the Whitetail region. It hurt like a bitch and he wasn't able to walk for days. So to see Faith walking merely an hour or two after getting shot impressed him.

She only managed to get to the door of the cabin before she swayed and leaned against the doorframe. He let her have her moment of pride, but he really didn't want her to injure herself further. He couldn't afford to take her to any of the clinics that were still open, most of them worked for the Peggies.

He stepped next to her again, but he didn't pick her up just yet. "Come on, you're dead on your feet," he told her. Once she nodded, he placed an arm under her knees and gently scooped her up, she gasped at the sudden movement.

It was an understatement to say that it felt odd to walk into a small home with one of the cult's heralds in his arms bridal style. He cursed when he felt the warmth of her blood on her leg as he carried her into the bedroom.

"It's cold."

Aiden almost didn't hear her, her voice was soft and rough sounding. Then what she said registered and he frowned in confusion. The sun was still out and it was a fairly warm day, plus all the windows were shut, so the cabin was a little stuffy. Then the problem of what she said registered.

 _Crap_ , he thought. He knew enough about blood loss to know it was bad if the injured person started to feel cold. He studied her face and realized she looked a little pale.

He sighed audibly while he laid her on the bed and then searched for a blanket. "You know," he said, "if you didn't try to stretch out your legs you wouldn't be bleeding again." He was glad the cabin's owner stashed two thick blankets in the bedroom closet. Despite the abandoned suitcase that was on the bed there were still quite a few clothes hanging in the closet. They were all men's clothes, but at least they were dry and clean.

He returned to Faith and covered her with one of the blankets, but left her bleeding leg exposed. He used the other blanket to prop her injured limb so it was elevated above the level of her heart. With clean gauze from the first aid kit, Aiden applied pressure to both bullet holes in her leg to stop the bleeding again. Just like the first time he did this Faith couldn't stifle a yelp. Hearing her cry out made his chest tighten in guilt again. When the bleeding stopped, he did his best to clean her leg with some disinfectant before he finally bandaged her up.

Satisfied with his work, Aiden gave a gentle pat on the woman's shoulder. He felt her muscle stiffen. "Easy," he told her. "I'm not going to hurt you, ya know. I wouldn't have bothered saving you. Or patching you up."

Again, she remained silent and pulled the blanket to her chin. If not for her leg she probably would have rolled so her back was to him.

The deputy sighed again. He couldn't blame her for her silence and obvious fear around him, they did just try to kill each other.

 _But she had no weapons_.

Okay, so while _she_ may not have tried to kill him, he did try to kill her. Almost succeeded too.

"I'll be right back." He packed up the first aid kit and set it on the nearby end table. There was a digital clock on it that reported the time as 5:17 pm. That explained why he felt hungry enough to eat a cow, he couldn't remember when was the last time he ate. Before he left the room, however, he pulled a gray blue button down shirt from the closet and tossed it to Faith. The shirt looked large enough to cover her just as much as her dress.

"The shirt is dry and clean, which is something I can't say about your dress. Get changed so you can warm up." He stepped into the bathroom to wash the blood from his hands. It really did worry him of how much blood she's lost. He poked his head back into the bedroom and found her dozing off again. "No sleeping!" She startled and glared at him again.

With a grin, Aiden headed for the small kitchen. It was messy with forgotten cans and water bottles littered on the counters and cabinets left open. Whoever lived here knew how to eat. The pantry was filled with all sorts of snacks, specifically sweets. Aiden was guilty of having a sweet tooth, and he couldn't remember the last time he had anything to satisfy it. First day on the job and he didn't so much as get a donut. He honestly had been looking forward to eating donuts all day every day when he got the deputy position.

A small handful of cookies were immediately stuffed into his mouth as he searched deeper into the pantry and the fridge. Snacks were great, but both he and Faith would need real food to help them heal, especially with all the blood Faith lost.

It looked like the owner was smart enough not to take the perishables, but there was still plenty of canned food. He'd cook up a real meal later after he'd get some sleep. For now, he didn't trust Faith to be alone for too long. It wasn't that he was worried she'd manage to escape, she wouldn't be able to get far, but he was more concerned of her injuring herself further. She was cold and pale, so she was just one step away from falling into shock. His first aid knowledge fell short of knowing how to deal with that.

The junior deputy returned to the bedroom with a plate of waffles and a glass of orange juice. He couldn't find any syrup for the waffles, and yes he knew that eating waffles without syrup was a sin, but they were chocolate chip waffles at least.

Faith had changed into the shirt, her dress sat neatly folded on the edge of the bed. She was massaging her injured leg, but immediately pulled her hand away when he entered the room. She stared at the plate of waffles as he approached her, but when he offered the food to her she shook her head.

"Hey," he said gently. He couldn't stand to remain on his feet any longer so he sat on the edge of the bed. Fear flashed in her eyes and she leaned back against the headboard. It was easy to forget that the woman before him was the enemy, she manipulated people to murder innocents, forced the Bliss onto people until they became an empty husk. But now, she was powerless and terrified of him.

He avoided touching her and he moved slowly. The last thing he wanted was for her to jar her wound and make it bleed again. He offered her the plate again.

"You need to eat. It'll help with the blood you lost."

She eyed the food again, and then she glanced at the orange juice in his other hand. He offered the cup to her and she didn't need any convincing to take it. She immediately drank and in a few gulps she was done. Once her thirst was taken cared of, she finally seemed interested in the food. One bite turned into three quick ones. Then it was like she was trying to eat everything she could before he could take the food away. Seeing her act this way made his chest tightened in sorrow. Maybe there was some truth about her story regarding Joseph drugging and threatening her until she submitted to him.

"Easy there," he smiled at her. "Don't want you to get sick." He took the empty plate and cup from her. "Would you like more?"

She seemed to hesitate to answer for a moment, her blue eyes had a haze that was often caused by pain. "Just the juice," she finally replied.

With a nod, Aiden got up and left to fetch the beverage. When he returned he caught Faith massaging her leg again. He'd have to find some painkillers for her later, he didn't find any in the bathroom. He handed her the drink and walked around to the other side of the bed where her injured leg rested. The gauze had a small red blot, but it looked fine otherwise.

"Does it hurt?" Aiden shook his head. He hadn't meant to ask that. When he got tired he tended to say really dumb things. "Scratch that. Of course it hurts." He glanced at Faith and noticed her studying him, the now empty cup cradled between her hands. "How are you feeling?"

Faith frowned as she continued to study him. "You're the one that shot me, but you want to know if I'm all right?" The wrinkle between her eyebrows vanished and she brought a hand up to rub her eyes. "I'm…the food helped. I think."

Aiden ignored her snap, the woman was tired and in tremendous pain after all. Plus if this whole thing felt awkward for him it must feel ten times worse for her. "That's good," he told her. He took the empty cup from her and set it on the floor.

All the deputy wanted to do was get some sleep. The couch in the other room was calling his name, but he didn't trust to leave Faith alone. The cabin had no backdoor, but there was a small window in the bedroom that she could fit through. If she snuck out the window he wouldn't hear her from the other room.

Handcuffing her to the bed was out of the question. Well, he was too tired to care about sleeping on the floor. It wouldn't be the worst thing he's slept on recently.

"Do you still feel cold?" Faith didn't meet his eyes, but she shook her head. They sat in silence for a moment, Aiden debated on what to say to break the awkward silence, and Faith kept glancing at him looking like she wanted to say something but continued to remain silent. Her face was really swollen and he wondered if that made it difficult for her to speak.

It had only been a few minutes since she ate, but he could see some color returning to her cheeks. He'd have to trust her word that she was no longer feeling cold. Aiden left for the kitchen again and returned with a small towel wrapped around some ice. "Here. This will help with the swelling."

Faith took the towel and hissed when she pressed it against her blackened eye. She would alternate between placing the ice on her eye, the bridge of her nose, and her right cheek. She looked more exhausted than he felt, but he still didn't trust to let her sleep just yet.

"I'm really tired," she whispered. Her words slurred with exhaustion. "Why won't you let me sleep? You must be tired too. I won't try to run away, I promise."

Aiden smiled sadly. "I can't let you do that, Faith. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"You've lost too much blood, so your body is already having a difficult enough time getting what it needs through your system. And when we sleep our heart rate and breathing decrease. So if you were to sleep, well…you may not wake up."

Faith pondered on the information for a moment. She rubbed her eyes again. "I'm…touched that you care for me." A small smile grew on her swollen face. Aiden felt a warmth on his arm and looked down to see Faith's hand rested on top of it. "It's not too late."

The deputy shook his head in confusion. "What isn't too late?"

Faith's smile widened. "We can go back. The Father is a forgiving man. You kept me alive when you didn't have to. You said so yourself, you could have left me there to die." Her hand squeezed his arm gently.

Aiden almost wanted to laugh, but he didn't want to offend Faith. Upsetting her would only entice her to escape again, and he really wanted to sleep, even just for a few hours. He glanced down at her hand that still held his arm, and then he looked up at her smiling face. "Tell me, Faith, truthfully. I killed the Father's own brothers. Do you think he'll forgive two deaths because I saved one?"

The smile was gone from her face, but she didn't respond. Aiden spoke before she could anyhow. "Did the Father forgive you for not stopping me from destroying his statue?" He hated to see her look away from him, her expression pained. "You threw everything you could at me to stop me. You did your best. But I still burned his book. Did he still forgive you?"

He meant to offer her a small comfort, he reached over and patted her shoulder, but he still felt her stiffen at his contact. She pulled away from him as much as her anchored leg could allow. It saddened him that she was afraid of a simple act of comfort, and he didn't think it was because he shot her under the influence of the Bliss.

"Your silence answers my question. I'm sorry, I can't take you back. There's no forgiveness for me." He sat up and stretched, then he glanced at the clock next to the bed. "It's getting late and we're both exhausted. Get some sleep, Faith."

Once the okay was given, she leaned back against the pillow and seemed to have immediately fallen asleep. Aiden watched her as long as he could, he was afraid to see her suddenly stop breathing. He had dozed off eventually, but he was unsure for how long. Faith was still breathing and there looked to be no other problems, there was no increase of blood on the bandage.

Finally satisfied, the junior deputy got as comfortable as he could on the wooden floor and promptly fell asleep.

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A/N: Thank you to all that took the time to leave some feedback, I always appreciate to read people's thoughts and comments. I apologize for having some moderation enabled for anonymous reviews, I hadn't realized it was even a thing.


	3. Nightmares

Ambivalence

Chapter 3: Nightmares

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

Aiden found himself standing before Joseph's church, the place where it all began. But unlike the last time, it was day time. Boxes and crates littered the ground with double the amount of green barrels filled with Bliss. Aiden couldn't remember driving here. But there had been so many gaps in his memory for the last several weeks that he stopped trying to piece together what happened during those blanks and just accepted wherever he awoke.

" _Did you think you could just continue to do what you wanted without consequences?"_

That was Faith. Aiden looked around him but he was alone in front of the church. His surroundings were normal, trees laid in the distance, the sky was blue, the afternoon sun high above him and hidden behind several clouds, so he wasn't in the Bliss. Where was Faith? He could hear her voice crystal clear as if she was just in front of him.

Movement caught his eye and he looked towards the opposite side of the church. His eyes opened in alarm when suddenly people surrounded him, everyone on their knees and a green cloud surrounding their heads. Aiden took a few steps forward and began to recognize their faces. People that he's come to work with, Jess, Adelaide, Sharky, and others. Then he realized that his fellow deputies and the sheriff were lined up as well. The most disturbing quality about them all was that their eyes were stark white, no irises, no pupils. Every one of them stared at him in silence.

" _If violence is the only language you choose to speak…I'll speak your language."_

The junior deputy recognized Faith's words. Those were the same words she spoke to him just before Marshal Burke killed Virgil, Hope County's mayor, and opened the County Jail's defense gate to the attacking angels and Peggies.

It was then that Faith appeared behind his allies, his friends. Fog formed into wings at her back and she floated a few feet in the air, her arms glowed green.

" _And when their blood is on your hands we'll see how heroic you feel."_

Aiden was too slow and powerless to do anything but watch as Faith threw green light at everyone. They all screamed and collapsed in growing puddles of blood.

Aiden jolted awake. To be outside in the sun and to suddenly find himself in a dark room was disorienting. A gentle glow of moonlight that seeped in from the window opposite of him was the only thing to penetrate the darkness. The drastic change was dizzying and a bit nauseating. It was difficult to breath, like each breath he took wasn't filling his lungs with oxygen.

To keep from getting ill the deputy sat up and focused on his breathing. It took several long moments for his short, rapid breaths to settle into slow, deep ones. It was then that he realized he was shaking and his shirt was soaked with now cooling sweat.

 _Just a dream_ , he told himself. He closed his eyes and held in a deep breath. A few deep breaths later and his hands ceased to shake.

Memories of everything that transpired the last twenty four hours flooded his head. Then he remembered why he was sleeping on the floor in a room he didn't recognize. Aiden stood up as quietly as his wobbly legs could allow. With dread heavy in his gut, he looked to the bed, severely worried to see it empty.

The moonlight from the window was only able to show the bottom half of the bed, but it was enough for Aiden to see two pale feet poking out of a blanket. A sudden gasp filled the silence and Aiden felt ice race through his veins. He grew worried he woke her, but then he could hear her soft breaths, slow and even. She was still asleep.

Feeling much better, the deputy laid back on the wooden floor. As tired as he still felt, he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. The images of his friends and co-workers with their white eyes were still fresh in his mind and he couldn't stop hearing their screams.

Nope, he wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon.

It became even more difficult to sleep when Faith began to make distressed noises. Even in sleep she was still hurting. Hearing her whimpers of pain was the polar opposite of her persona in his dream.

Aiden's dream rekindled the anger and almost hate he felt for Faith. To hear her words again before she caused so much death just to punish him, to see her strike down his friends and allies, it all brought back that anger he felt for the entire cult and its members. But every gasp and groan she emitted in her sleep slowly melted the anger away. It was confusing to say the least, of how he really felt about her. Should he hate her? Or did he pity her?

Reflecting on his thoughts only brought on a headache. His body hurt enough without needing to add a headache to it. He needed to do something, anything to keep his mind occupied. He wondered if the owner of the cabin left any alcohol behind. It had been too long since he had a drink to settle his nerves and sooth some stress. The last drink he had was after he killed John and destroyed his bunker, Mary May gave out drinks on the house to everyone at the bar then, in celebration of their victory over the cult. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Aiden found himself rubbing at his chest absentmindedly, specifically he rubbed at the now healed etching of the word _WRATH_ John had tattooed to him. It still itched, but it didn't hurt anymore. Well, truthfully it only hurt when his thoughts drifted back to John.

He really needed a drink now.

The deputy climbed back to his feet and quietly left the room. He thought about shutting the door behind him, but if Faith awoke he didn't want her to get any ideas of sneaking out the window.

It took some time searching, but Aiden did manage to find a half bottle of whiskey. He didn't recognize the brand of the drink, but two sips in the alcohol went down smooth, but he could feel the jitters from his nightmare evaporate, it wasn't cheap alcohol.

He took a seat in the small living room and debated on lighting the fireplace. The days were a bit warm, but the evenings got cold. Sleeping on the wooden floor with nothing but a blanket left him a bit chilly, especially with his shirt soaked in sweat.

The evening was dark enough to hide the smoke, despite the bright moon, and the cabin was hidden enough from the road behind trees. Plus all the windows were shuttered so if there was a bypassing Peggie patrol they shouldn't even notice the glow of the fireplace from a window. Getting the fireplace lit wasn't a problem, there was a large box of matches on an end table by the couch, it only took two matches to get the dry logs burning.

It was difficult not to fall asleep now that both the fire and the alcohol warmed him from the inside out. So, to keep himself occupied, Aiden took out his handgun and began to clean it. He regretted he wasn't able to retrieve his AKM earlier. It took the better of a week of hunting all sorts of wildlife with Jess before he finally had enough skins to sell in order to get the required funds to buy the rifle.

He still needed to find out where Faith's bunker was so he could rescue the people that the Peggies took, which included sheriff Whitehorse. But it wouldn't be wise to attack the heavily armed bunker with nothing but a handgun. And the dream he had moments before left him feeling like he shouldn't take too much time in rescuing the sheriff and the others. Then there was the matter of what he would do with Faith while he snuck into her bunker. He couldn't barge in with her, injured or not. Maybe he could call in a few favors, get some cash to restock on some badly needed weapons, ammo and supplies.

But where could he leave Faith? There was no way that he'd leave her at the jail, she wouldn't survive. He wasn't sure he could trust anyone within the Henbane region to watch over her, everyone suffered some sort of loss that Faith caused. The only person he could trust to leave her alive was the sheriff, but he needed to be rescued.

He couldn't leave her here at the cabin either, he couldn't just handcuff her to the bed. Who knows how long it would take him to find the bunker and there was no guarantee he'd even make it out alive. What if he died and Faith would be condemned to starve to death? No, he couldn't do that.

While the alcohol helped clear his mind from his disturbing dream, he still didn't feel clear headed enough to really plan out his next action. He needed to find out where the bunker was, and he could only hope that Faith would be willing to tell him, but he doubted she would. He needed to take one step at a time. First, he needed to locate the bunker. Then he could figure out where to leave Faith.

By the time the junior deputy felt he should stop drinking the sun was high enough to paint the sky pink. When he stepped towards the bathroom to wash up, he poked his head in the bedroom and found Faith was still sleeping. He was somewhat glad she was able to sleep the whole night, she would need the rest to heal.

After a wash, the deputy headed to the kitchen to finally cook himself a warm meal, he had denied his complaining stomach long enough. And he'd need the food to sober up. The fridge was stocked with some eggs and what looked to be cooked ham, which still smelled edible. There was still half a loaf of bread and butter in the fridge, so he made himself three breakfast sandwiches. He wasn't the best cook, his days in college dorms taught him how to master nuking Hot Pockets and Ramen, but the sandwiches were easily the most delicious thing he's eaten since he arrived at Hope County.

Once his stomach was content, the rest of his body decided to protest. His head felt heavy and a distinct ache brewed between his brows. He didn't get near enough sleep that his body demanded, so he returned to the bedroom and settled back on his blanket. It didn't take long this time for sleep to claim him.

How long he slept for, Aiden couldn't be sure. A scream jarred him out of his sleep. In a panic, he sat up and pulled his pistol from its holster. It has become a habit for him to sleep with a weapon within easy reach, a practice that has saved his life multiple times.

There was no movement, no footsteps, no gunshots. Aiden peeked into the hallway, the cabin was still and silent. He looked out the window in the bedroom and found a family of deer passing by. Deer spooked pretty easily, and if a family of them were just outside the cabin then no one could be sneaking about. Then Aiden glanced at the bed and realized the scream came from Faith. Her light colored hair clung to her face, the blanket was wrapped around her good leg, and her lips barely moved as she mumbled.

"Please," she muttered.

The panic Aiden felt a moment before was quickly replaced with pity. He debated if he should wake her or leave her to sleep.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few more moments of incoherent mumbling. A sob escaped her and she continued to mutter apologies.

The junior deputy could tolerate it no longer. He had a weakness when it came to women and children sobbing. It was a weakness his father told him time and time again that would make him do something he'd regret in his line of work.

The things he's experienced in the past few weeks left him with a few nightmares every now and then. He always appreciated it when his friends, Jess or Grace, would wake him up whenever he was experiencing one. There were some things he didn't wish to relive.

So Aiden placed a hand on the thrashing woman's shoulder and gave it a gentle nudge. He didn't have a chance to say anything because she was immediately awake, her blue eyes opened wide. The moment she noticed him she sat up, gasped and promptly pulled away from his touch.

Aiden grabbed her arm to keep her from falling off the bed, but grabbing her only terrified her more. "Hey, it's me," he told her gently. "It's me, Aiden. It's okay, you're safe."

It took several tries, but his words eventually begun to register, she stopped struggling against his hold. Her breathing continued to be ragged, but she kept her eyes on him, as if seeing him for the first time.

"You're safe, it's okay," he continued to sooth her.

Now that she was sitting up, and with the sunlight lightning up the room, he could see the tears on her cheeks. His chest clenched in sorrow for a brief moment before it changed into anger. It angered him to see this woman so terrified over a dream, but he realized he was angry at whoever made her so scared of him. She wasn't scared at him, specifically, but there was a reason she kept apologizing as she dreamed. The bad guys didn't have nightmares that made them cry, right?

"You're safe." It wasn't a lie just to comfort her. He was responsible for her safety so he was honest about her being safe. He realized he was still gripping her arm a little tightly, though she didn't complain about it. Still, he let go of her, but kept his hand lingering near her in case she rolled off the bed.

Her breath still came in gasps, but they were calming. As if embarrassed by her tears, her hands reached up to hastily wipe her cheeks. Her hands shook just as badly as his did when he woke from his own nightmare.

"You're safe," he assured her again for the umpteenth time.

Faith looked at him, her blue eyes were no longer wide in terror. Her gaze drifted to the room and she looked confused for a moment. She grimaced and looked down at her injured leg. Aiden could see her confused expression change into recognition, the events of the previous day was returning to her.

Aiden gave her a few moments of peace so she could calm down. He preferred to sit on the edge of the bed instead of standing, just so he wasn't towering over her, but he wasn't sure if she'd welcome his close proximity.

He waited until her breathing calmed. "Sorry for waking you," he said. "You were," he paused. Would it embarrass her to say she was screaming? Crying?

She seemed to have understood what he was about to say anyway, her face turned red. "I'm…did I wake you?"

"No," he lied. He took a chance and sat on the edge of the bed. Faith's shoulders stiffened, but she didn't back away from him. "I didn't have the best dream either." It was awkward to think back on his dream, to see Faith murder people he's come to respect in cold blood, and now he was trying to comfort her from her own nightmares.

If she asked what he dreamt of he honestly wasn't sure if he could tell her. But his own curiosity was getting the best of him regarding her own inner demons. "Did you want to talk about it?"

"No," her response was clipped and immediate.

Aiden nodded. "I understand." He signed and unconsciously rifled his hand through his hair. It was getting too long, he'd have to find someone to cut it for him. "If you ever do want to talk about it, I'm here. Okay?"

Faith looked at him and narrowed her eyes. To say he was confused by her reaction was an understatement, but he had nothing to say. So he just looked down to inspect her bandage, the red blot was now brown. This was good then, it meant her wound hadn't bled. Her wound healing was one less thing he had to worry about.

"Okay," he reached for the first aid kit on the nearby end table. "Let's just change the bandage and I'll fix up some food. How's the leg feel?"

The question had a sobered affect on her and she stopped glaring at him. "It really hurts." Then her voice developed a sharp edge to it. "Everything hurts."

Aiden nodded. He felt similar, despite only suffering a few scrapes and bruises, his whole body felt sore. The medical tape peeled off nicely without leaving any residue, but the gauze refused to budge. He pulled at it with a little more force, but the action made Faith yelp.

"You're being too rough!" The frown was back on her face and anger flashed in her eyes.

One of the deputy's eyebrows lifted. He barely tugged at the bandage, but it wouldn't give. Maybe it was the dry blood that fused the bandage to her skin? He tried pulling at it again with just a little more force, but it had the same results except Faith cried out louder.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

A curse escaped the male. How could he get the bandage off? He fetched some water and tried wetting the bandage, thinking if he wet the blood it would detach the bandage, but it was still stuck. He glanced at Faith. "I'm sorry, I think I'm going to have to rip it off."

Her fists gripped at the bed covers tightly. After she took a deep breath she nodded to him. Aiden mentally counted down from three and pulled the bandage as hard as he could. A small pain stabbed at his ear from the sudden scream that erupted from Faith, and then he could hear stomping right outside the window. With a glance, he saw the family of deer disappear into the trees.

Okay, so huge lesson learned. He would have to change her bandages frequently to avoid this. Another curse escaped him when he saw he only succeeded in ripping off the bandage that was over the bullet entry wound. The bandage that covered the exit wound was also fused to her skin. He didn't warn Faith, he pulled at the second bandage, she didn't scream as loudly, but it hurt her just the same.

"I'm sorry," he told her as he cleaned up the little blood that seeped out of both wounds. It didn't take much pressure to get them to stop bleeding, and he cleaned her leg as best as he could before he wrapped her limb with fresh bandages.

"You're sorry?!" Faith shouted at him. Her eyes were aflame with anger and her bottom lip was bleeding, she probably bit at it when he yanked the second bandage off. "This is your fault!"

Aiden frowned at her. He had little knowledge of medicine, he honestly had no idea a bandage was capable of fusing to a wound. His mouth opened to voice his thoughts, but Faith continued to scold him. " _All_ of this is your fault!"

Irritation flared inside of him. "I didn't know this would happen, I said I'm sorry."

Faith looked exasperated. "Not _this_ ," she gestured to her wound. " _Everything_! It wasn't _supposed_ to be this way."

 _Oh_ , Aiden thought. She wasn't talking about the bandage fusing.

"If you hadn't interfered, everything would have been fine."

The slight irritation turned to anger. Aiden's tone became a little stern and condescending. "Fine? Is that what you call kidnapping innocent people, torturing and killing them? _Fine_?" Jess' experience was the first thing that came to mind, how she had her parents were abducted in the middle of the night. How they and other people, _children_ , were starved and forced into cannibalism.

Faith frowned. "If they had just listened—"

"No!" Aiden didn't regret his outburst, despite it causing Faith to flinch. "Weren't _you_ forced? Or was that a lie?" He waited a moment to see if she would deny the lie, but he couldn't judge if her silence meant she spoke the truth or if she didn't want to admit to a lie. That was her reputation, a liar and a manipulator.

"You said you were a child at the age of seventeen, drugged and forced to accept Joseph's will. Do you even know what was done to younger children?" The anger was molten inside of him now. Images of the cruelty that the cult did to people that didn't follow them ran fresh in his mind. He just wished he could show his memories to Faith.

The younger woman remained silent, but the anger in her eyes fizzled. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again and looked at him, all anger was gone. "The Father only wanted to save all of us. We all should have just listened to him, and none of this would have happened. If you hadn't," she paused, her thin eyebrows pinched together like she was trying to think of what to say.

Aiden wanted to argue again, but he realized how much his head was hurting. Shouting would only increase the pain. And it probably wouldn't do anything to change Faith's mind. He wondered if she was even aware of what the other leaders of the cult did to people. The thought cooled his temper and he realized he was standing. He took a deep breath, and imagined his exhale forced some of his own anger out with it.

Once the anger cooled, the deputy felt the exhaustion, both physical and mental, seep into his sore bones. He sat on the bed again and rubbed his chest where the Wrath was tattooed on his skin. "I'm sorry for losing my temper." He glanced at her, found her looking at him with an expressionless face.

They sat in silence for a long moment. Aiden just wanted to sleep until next week, but he had so much to do. He needed to supply himself to raid Faith's bunker and find a place to safely secure Faith while he rescued the sheriff and the others that were taken.

"Always the hero, aren't you?"

Aiden almost didn't hear her whisper. A sudden jolt of panic stabbed at his chest. The last time she talked to him about being a hero he witnessed so much death, both in reality and in his dream.

"Saving them is all placed only on your shoulders, isn't it?"

The panic turned into dread. Did she have some hidden card up her sleeve? Was she going to somehow use the Bliss to force him to watch more death?

"I can see it in your eyes, your body," she continued. "You carry so much fear, but yet you carry on and… _interfere_." She sighed and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "It's why I wanted to save you. And I think it's why the Father wanted to save you too."

Aiden didn't have the energy to argue. Still, he couldn't help but humor her. "Why _did_ you want to save me?"

Faith closed her eyes and hummed. Maybe her outburst exhausted her as well. "You're not from here, are you?"

He wasn't expecting that question. "Hope County? No. I wasn't born or raised in Montana even. I'm from the middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma."

"I figured," Faith kept her eyes closed and failed to suppress a yawn. "Even though you have no ties to this place, you owe the people here nothing, still you wish to help the people here." Her eyelids opened to reveal glossed eyes. "The Father gave you the chance to leave. And after the helicopter crash, after everyone laid their burdens and responsibilities on you, you didn't run. You stayed and…"

"Interfered?" Aiden asked, the corner of his mouth pulled in a slight grin.

"You aren't like the people here," Faith's voice became softer. Sleep was pulling her into its embrace. "If you were from here, if you were already a deputy, I think things would be very different. Maybe I," she paused, but made no effort to continue speaking. Aiden almost thought she had fallen asleep until she finally continued to speak. "Let's just say that after the Great Collapse, we'll need people like you."

Aiden contemplated on her confession for a moment. He could understand why someone like Faith would value his sense of wanting to help people, but he still didn't understand why Joseph would want him to be converted to his cult. He asked Faith his thoughts, but she didn't reply, she had fallen asleep.

Well, he was too fatigued to care about their heart to heart conversation ending abruptly. He laid back down on his spot on the ground and had just shut his eyes for some badly needed rest. He'd sleep a little longer and then he'd worry about saving people later, he wouldn't be of much help if he was too tired to break into a heavily armed bunker and single handedly fight against an entire platoon of men and women with military grade weapons.

His eyes were closed for no more than two minutes before he heard his walkie talkie flicker to life.

" _Aiden? You there, sweetheart?_ "

Aiden let out a string of curses that would've impressed Jess. What did a man have to do to get a little shut eye? With a groan, he fished out the walkie talkie. He recognized Adelaide's voice, he hoped she just wanted to check in on him.

"Yes, ma'am?" He kept his voice low, he didn't want to waken Faith and allow her to eavesdrop.

" _Why, hello there, deputy. We were getting' a little worried when we didn't hear from ya. Did you find Faith?_ "

Aiden swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. It wasn't that he didn't trust Adelaide, but he still wasn't sure if he could admit to arresting Faith instead of killing her. After his short argument earlier he didn't have the energy to argue with his comrades. They weren't like the sheriff, they all expected him to kill the cult's heralds instead of arresting them.

" _You there, sweetheart?_ "

"Yeah," Aiden answered promptly. He quickly climbed to his feet and stepped out of the bedroom, he shut the door behind him. "Yes, I did find her. We won't have to worry about her anymore." It wasn't a lie, technically. He was just vague about Faith's status.

Adelaide wasn't alone. There was someone else speaking in the background that sounded a lot like Grace, but Aiden couldn't make out what she was saying.

" _That's great news! We have some good news of our own. We were just takin' a short little spin on Tulip and we found Faith's bunker. We almost missed it, but you know how sharp Grace's eyesight is._ "

Aiden's heart leapt. That was one less thing for him to worry about, at least. "That is great news."

" _Want us to pick you up, sweetheart?_ "

"No," Aiden responded a little too quickly. "I need supplies. We can meet at the jail. It'll take me some time to get there, but why don't you get in contact with the others and give them a ride to the jail? I'll need all the backup I can get."

" _Sure thing, sweetheart. See ya soon then._ "

All right, so things were turning up. The only thing left for him to do was find a place to leave Faith. He couldn't leave her at the cabin, injured leg or not she already demonstrated she could try to escape. The only person he felt he could trust most with watching over her would be Hurk, but he didn't trust Hurk alone with Faith. The man was sweet on her, and Faith could easily use that to her advantage. No, he needed someone else.

He retreated into the living room and thought long and hard on who he could trust to watch over Faith. After what felt like an hour, but was most likely no more than a few minutes, a person came into mind.

Tracey.

They didn't get along, she never quite seemed to trust him, ever since she and the sheriff had to force him out of a heavy dose of Bliss. But he found a letter that she had written to Faith. He spoke to her about it one time, before the jail was attacked, he meant to break the ice between them. Tracey was insistent that she and Faith were no longer friends, that she looked at her as another Peggie, but she gave subtle hints that they were very close once.

Aiden fiddled with his walkie talkie and tuned into the line that the few remaining Cougars gave to him. It was meant as a means for him to communicate to them if he ever became aware of more Peggie movement towards them. But what he meant to use it for now was a huge gamble. He could only hope that a small part of Tracey still cared for Faith.

* * *

A/N: This chapter came out a little longer than normal, figured since I didn't update last week I'd make it up by having two chapters in one. I know it's starting a little slow, but things will be picking up. I promise!


	4. Escape

Ambivalence

Chapter 4: Escape

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

In the end, Aiden couldn't bring himself to speak to Tracey about looking over Faith. At least not over the walkie talkie, the risk of someone listening in was too high. However, he still trusted Tracey the most out of everyone he knew to keep Faith alive. Since he was meeting the others at the jail he could talk to her then.

For now, he needed to find a private bunker that just about every other Hope County citizen kept in their backyard. So far, each bunker he came across was stocked with food, clothes and most importantly medicine. Granted an average citizen didn't have access to hospital and clinic grade medicine, which was what Faith needed, but it was better than nothing. And keeping Faith in one of those bunkers while he infiltrated her "Gate" would put his mind at ease.

Sadly, the owner of the cabin he and Faith were currently occupying didn't have a personal bunker, so he still had to go out and find one. Well maybe not find one exactly, he knew of one bunker that was close to the jail. For now, he just needed to figure out where he currently was, take Faith to the bunker, then head to the jail.

Out of habit, the rookie deputy glanced at his watch. It had long since stopped working, but he still had the habit of checking it for the time. His attention drifted down the hall when he heard a door open. Faith slowly came into view, the hallway was narrow enough that allowed her to stretch her arms and use the walls as leverage, which kept her upright. Earlier when she woke she tried walking on her own, which resulted in her collapsing the moment she put weight onto her injured leg.

Aiden sighed as he climbed to his feet and reduced the distance between them. "You really should avoid putting weight on your leg." He motioned he would lift her. Once she nodded he scooped her up. She smelled of men's soap and shampoo and she was only wearing a long sleeved button down shirt that went down to her knees. He noticed she used the last of the bandages, and they were already stained with blood. "You can damage your leg more if you don't let it heal."

He took her to the living room and set her on the couch. While she was showering he cooked up the last of the ham and eggs for her. When he served her the plate of food he caught the look of surprise on her face. She seemed to hesitate before she accepted the plate and immediately began to eat.

While she ate, Aiden busied himself by cleaning the mess he left in the kitchen. By the time he finished and took a bottled water to Faith she was done with her meal.

"How are you feeling?" Aiden asked. He thought against taking a seat, he wanted to get on the road as soon as possible while the sun was still out.

Faith looked at him, her head tilted to the side slightly. She opened her mouth to answer, but immediately paused. Then she shook her head. "I don't understand why you're being like this."

Aiden frowned. "You mean being concerned?"

The woman nodded. "After everything I've done," she laughed, but it was filled with bitterness rather than humor. "You've been…nice? Concerned."

Aiden smiled sadly at that. "Yeah well," he scratched the back of his head. "Under arrest or not, your health and safety is still my responsibility."

Faith shook her head again. "But you don't have to be concerned with how I'm feeling." Her gaze shifted down to her bandaged leg. After her shower she used the last of their bandages, and a little blood already stained the white cloth. She rubbed her thigh. "Are you going to take me to jail now?"

It was brief, but Aiden noticed the flicker of fear that flashed in her eyes. But, her question reminded him on the time. He patted his pockets to make sure he had his radio and handgun. "Not yet. There are some things I need to do before I take you there." He glanced at the kitchen and down the hall to make sure nothing was left on or forgotten.

"Like rescue the sheriff?"

Aiden looked back at Faith. Her face was passive and unyielding of any expressions. "Yes, as well as the others that were taken." He stepped next to her. "We need to leave now. We're wasting daylight."

Truth be told, Aiden hated to drive about in the evening. Hope County was entirely new to him, and driving in the dark caused him to get lost plenty of times. It was easier to navigate in the daylight.

Faith allowed him to carry her to the car. She didn't say anything more, and Aiden appreciated the silence.

Twenty minutes later and Aiden was seriously considering asking Faith for directions. It wasn't until now that he realized how much he relied on others' sense of direction, he almost always was accompanied by Jess or Hurke. But he ultimately didn't trust Faith, he worried she'd lead him to an outpost. Eventually, the road took him close enough to the Henbane river which finally helped give him an idea of his general location. Luckily, he was heading in the right direction.

The drive continued to be quiet, other than the classic rock from the radio. Aiden almost didn't notice it, but he recognized an all too familiar white semi-truck in the distance. The truck was pulled over to the side, a road flare and road traffic cones were laid out behind the truck. His knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel, he counted two men outside, one working on a flat tire and the other was standing at the back, smoking a cigarette.

Aiden debated on turning around, but thought it would attract too much attention. Plus he knew of no other alternate route other than to completely go around the entire region just to get to the Jone's residence. With no other choice but to continue forward, Aiden stepped on the gas pedal a little more and hoped the Peggie in the back didn't notice the spray paint on the car.

The two Peggies weren't a threat to chase them if one was changing a tire, but they still had guns, could still shoot.

As the deputy drove past them, he spared a glance at Faith and let go of the breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Faith had her eyes closed, her head leaning against the window. He was worried she'd try to get their attention.

A few more minutes passed and Aiden was starting to recognize the area. Every so often he checked the rear view mirror for any sign of the truck. So long as he didn't stop, and assuming the truck wasn't going faster than he was it shouldn't catch up. It was then that Faith broke the silence with a groan.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't feel so good," she muttered.

The deputy looked at her sharply. She was sitting upright with a hand over her mouth. Aiden cursed, this wasn't the time to pull over, he was still worried the Peggies would follow them.

Faith voiced his concern, "I think I'm going to be sick."

Before Aiden could check for a bag or a cup, anything, the road took a sharp turn around the edge of a cliff and there was an answer to his problem, a gas station. There were no cars, broken or otherwise, and it looked abandoned.

In case the Peggies were following them, he went around the building and parked in the back. The back door was open, another lucky thing going for him, but he didn't want to charge in just yet, he only had a handgun for protection and Peggies were fond of automatic rifles.

The moment the vehicle parked Faith had her door open and leaned out. Aiden winced when he heard her retch. But her being sick worried him, was it because of her injuries? He was afraid of her wound getting infected, but he had no clue if an infection could cause someone to be violently ill. Or, could it have been his cooking? No, that couldn't be it. He cooked and ate the same food and felt fine. But, he was used to his lack of cooking skills and had an iron stomach because of it. Faith probably had the best cook in the county as her own personal chef.

It didn't sound like Faith was stopping any time soon, and the longer he heard her the queasier his own stomach felt. He needed to do something to distract himself. With the gas station back door open he could at least check it for any unwanted company. He made sure to pocket the car keys before he stepped into the building, handgun in hand.

The back room was dark, the only light seeped in from the door he just came in and another that led into the store. Not three steps into the room and there was sudden movement right next to him. But he was too slow to react, the blurred movement connected with his face, crushing pain exploded on his face, and he stumbled back.

His vision swam, all he could make out was a dark figure before him that looked like a person. Hands grabbed at his shoulders and pushed him onto something that felt like a shelf or a counter.

"Where's the pretty little bitch that was with you?"

Aiden's attacker still had his hands fisted into his shirt, good that made it easier for him to know where to shoot despite his vision still swimming.

 _Oh, if only he knew_ , Aiden thought. He quickly lifted his handgun and fired a shot. As much as he wanted to shoot the guy more, he had a limited amount of ammo and really needed to make his shots count.

There was a shout coming from inside the store which sent Aiden running for the back door before he could think of taking the Peggy's weapon. All that mattered was getting back into the car and driving off. He was at a disadvantage and knew when to run for it.

Thankfully, Faith was still by the car, he was afraid she'd try to run off again. He didn't have the time to wait for her to get into the car herself, and with Peggies being so close he doubted she would go with him willingly. So he ran over to her with the intention of throwing her into the car himself. But despite the rush he was in, Aiden couldn't help but notice there was something lacking on Faith's side of the car. The pavement was completely and utterly clean.

 _Did she know Peggies would be here_ , Aiden thought. It would make sense for her to suddenly be feeling sick, and he heard her retch when he parked, but the clean pavement clearly showed she faked it.

There was suddenly anger boiling in Aiden's veins. Of course Faith would figure out a way to get him to deliver her to Peggies. And it made him feel like an idiot. But he could be angry later. He lifted Faith, she fought against his hold of course, but it was easy for him to toss her into the passenger seat and lock the car door before he closed it. A Peggie ran out into the open, but Aiden had the car moving before the Peggie could do anything.

They didn't get far, once he drove into the front a semi-truck, most likely the one they passed earlier, was heading right towards them. Aiden cursed and tried to swerve away from the oncoming vehicle, but the truck still hit them from the back. The hit jarred the car to where he lost control of it.

As sudden as the crash, Aiden found himself waking up. The moment he moved his whole body felt like it was on fire. His door opened and another pair of hands pulled him out. He came face to face with a Peggie and his gun.

Well, this really wasn't how Aiden found himself going out.

"Stop!"

The Peggie peered over Aiden's shoulder. "There's someone else in the car."

Aiden finally noticed the second Peggie standing nearby, he recognized the man as the one that was smoking at the back of the truck earlier. He went around the car and took Faith out.

The man pointing the gun at Aiden glanced over his shoulder and promptly his skin paled and his mouth hung open. Then the shock melted into fury and he pressed the barrel of his rifle onto Aiden's forehead. "You _dared_ to take Faith?!"

"I said _stop_!"

The Peggie was prompt to listen to the command, but he didn't look happy about it. He took a step back and removed the barrel from Aiden's forehead. The other Peggie stepped into view, Faith secured in his arms. She looked at Aiden, a blatant smirk plastered on her face. The smirk infuriated Aiden, but there wasn't anything he could do.

"He has a gun and a radio, take them."

The Peggie with the gun swung his weapon to his back and roughly turned Aiden around and pressed against the car. "Watch it with those hands," Aiden muttered. "You have to treat me to dinner before you start getting touchy."

"He also has handcuffs. Use them on him," Faith continued to command.

There was a hesitation. "This _sinner_ took you, and he's the one that killed your brothers. If you prefer I kill him I will, gladly."

Aiden peeked over his shoulder to see if Faith would become angry for having one of her commands challenged, but if she was upset she hid it well. Instead, she smiled sweetly at the man and reached her hand over to him. The man stepped closer, his face resembling a puppy that was being treated for doing something good.

Faith placed her hand on the man's upper arm. "I appreciate your tenacity on avenging my brothers," she paused. She still held her hand to the man's arm and her eyes suddenly had a shiny appearance. Her throat moved as she swallowed a few times. Then her face steeled and she looked to Aiden. "But this _sinner_ spared my life. So, I will spare his in return." She looked to the man and pulled her touch away. "But he will be taken to the Father. Only He may judge him."

"Yes, Faith," both Peggies said in unison.

Aiden saw his chance. The Peggie didn't handcuff him nor did he take his gun before he went crawling to Faith with his tail wagging. Then the other Peggie had his arms full with carrying Faith. Aiden turned, handgun already in hand and he slammed the butt of the gun into the closest Peggy's head, the man went down instantly. The other Peggie immediately looked torn between keeping Faith in his arms, or dropping her to grab his own weapon.

He noticed Faith moving her hand, and his first instinct was to pull away, thinking she was reaching for his weapon. But she wasn't reaching for his gun, and by the time Aiden saw the small glass bottle in her palm he knew it was too late. She swung the small bottle and the greenish liquid inside of it splashed onto his face.

Bliss.

The effect was immediate as the hallucinogen got into his eyes. He blinked, but all he could feel was the stinging of the liquid in his eyes and his vision quickly turned stark white. Then, he was back in a foggy meadow, standing right in front of a thick tree. He could hear Faith speaking, but her voice sounded far away.

"Take him."

Aiden may not be able to see them, so he tried to listen for movement, but the Bliss was too strong. He heard footsteps from his left and tried to brace himself for a struggle, but then he was being tackled from his back. He went down hard, his cheek pressed down onto the pavement hard where he could feel tiny rocks digging into his skin, and then he felt the cool touch of metal tightening around his wrists.

The rookie deputy cursed himself for falling into this trap. The moment he passed that Peggie truck he should've just stayed on the road. Well, he had been kidnapped and tied up before. He just had to be patient and wait for an opportunity.

* * *

A/N: So sorry for this extreme delayed chapter. I had a bit of writers block in deciding how Faith would be able to get out of Aiden's clutches. There were a lot of different scenarios planned, but none of them were working out when I got them down on paper. The block was certainly frustrating to the point where I was losing sleep over the stress of not progressing through the story. So now that I'm finally over that hump, it should be smooth sailing from here. I will be looking to get weekly updates out on the weekend (Fridays or Saturdays), instead of Monday mornings.


	5. Questions

Ambivalence

Chapter 5: Questions

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Being in the Bliss was like being on a boat. Mentally, you were still but physically you were constantly being moved about. The Bliss made him feel like he was sitting on a small hill, the grass beneath him green, slightly damp and cool, and a tall tree next to him offered him shade to a sun that didn't have heated rays. But what was happening to him physically? He had no idea.

As Aiden sat and pondered, he really had nothing else to do until the Bliss wore off, he realized how ironic Bliss itself was. He could compare it to motion sickness on a boat, and he was aware that it was partially composed of scopolamine, a medicine used to treat motion sickness. Aiden found himself shaking his head, he hated the idea of a medicine being twisted into something that was used as a way to mind control people.

"What are you shaking your head about?"

The voice sounded like it was coming skyward, just over the tall wall of fog that stood dauntingly in front of Aiden. He tried to concentrate and felt for the ground beneath him, willing his mind to accept that he was sitting on something flat and hard rather than soft and grassy. A little trick he's come to learn since his constant exposure to the Bliss was that if he convinced himself that the hallucinations weren't real and forced himself to feel for his true surroundings, it seemed to help wear off the Bliss.

"I'm talking to you, sinner!"

Aiden winced. Wherever they were, it had to be enclosed if the Peggie's voice bounced around him. They couldn't be in the gas station, unless he was tossed into a supply closet. Their car was totaled, useless. So that left the semi-truck, most likely he was tossed into the back and had one Peggie babysit him.

A smirk grew on the junior deputy's face. "Is someone upset they got kicked out from the front seat?"

There was a quick moment of silence, but then the Peggie was yelling at him, "you shut up!"

"You just asked me a question and demanded an answer." Aiden chuckled. "Now you want me to stop talking?" There was suddenly pain slapping him in the left cheek, the moment of the blow was unexpected and Aiden vaguely felt his right shoulder pressing against a flat surface. It was still disorientating considering in the Bliss he was still sitting cross legged, leaning back against the tree.

"I should beat your face bloody for what you did to Faith's face!"

Aiden tasted copper and spat. He hoped it landed on the Peggie's shoes. He tried to imagine himself laying sideways on the floor and tried to move back into a sitting position. Again, it was strange to convince his body to sit up when it felt like he already was.

"To be fair," Aiden struggled to lift his torso off the floor. It took some time to realize his hands were still handcuffed behind his back. "I thought she was you, in the Bliss. So it was easy to beat her face in."

Sometimes Aiden's temper got the best of him. He was still upset about falling for Faith's trap so he chose the wrong battle to instigate. His face exploded in pain again, and then there was a painful impact in his gut that snuffed the air out of his lungs. He was unsure how long he laid on the floor, but the pain helped dilute the Bliss just a little more. Eventually he was able to really see his surroundings, there was a pair of boots standing before him and a bright light shined down on his face. If he moved one of the booted feet kicked him so Aiden learned to just lay still.

It was a long time until he could vaguely feel the ground beneath him vibrate. He blinked a few times and watched as the small and narrow room brightened considerably. Aiden desperately needed everyone to think he was still deep under the Bliss, so he forced himself to remain limp as he was forced onto his feet and shoved out of the truck. His vision wasn't completely clear, he was between seeing pavement and trees and a grassy hill. Then he was being dragged into a building, he wasn't able to see how many guards there were nor did he catch a glimpse of Faith.

Speaking of the herald, he heard her speak, but her voice sounded far away. "Leave him in a room, alone. I will speak with him."

Rough hands dragged him again, he constantly tripped over things, some were true trips and some he faked to keep up the Bliss induced image. Wherever they took him, he didn't recognize the building with its numerous hallways and rooms. He counted three wandering Peggies, plus the two that were with him made five, he had no idea how many were outside or in some of the closed rooms.

Morale of the story, his situation was not favorable.

A door opened and he was suddenly shoved inside. He barely caught his footing before his face met the wall, the room wasn't very big and it seemed to be used as a store room, numerous small boxes were piled in a corner, each one stamped with the cult's emblem on it. Considering his location, Aiden didn't doubt the boxes were filled with the Bliss. He made sure to keep his distance.

The room was square shaped with a small window near the ceiling, much too small for him to even stick his arm out, but it allowed enough sunlight in to lighten the room.

With most of the Bliss out of his system, Aiden sat on the floor and did his best to both hear outside the door and fumbled with his back pocket where he kept the cuff keys. He really hoped the Peggies didn't think to take them.

The building was quiet, unlike the places he was taken to up north in the Whitetail Mountains where there was always screaming and shouting. He could faintly hear the footsteps of the patrolling Peggies just outside the room, but hearing their patrols did nothing to help him figure out an escape plan.

His fingers brushed against the promising feel of a smooth ring that made his heart leap in joy. Either Aiden's luck was something else or the Peggies were too cocky or dumb to overlook the small things.

The rookie felt a cramp coming on, or his thumb was about to be dislocated, until he finally grabbed a hold of the key ring and fished it out. The moment he pulled the key out, the door swung open and he jumped and dropped the key. It took everything he had to keep his lips shut.

It was a Peggie that stepped into the room, a chair in his arms. Aiden tried to pat at the floor in search of the dropped key without making it look obvious of what he was doing. Then he remembered he was faking to still be Bliss induced so he pretended not to notice the Peggie as he placed the chair in front of him. The Peggie left for a moment and then returned with Faith in his arms and then placed her on the chair.

Aiden kept his eyes on the ground and hoped Faith didn't bring more Bliss with her.

"Aiden?"

The rookie promptly looked up into the ceiling. He recalled that in the Bliss it always sounded like a person's voice came just over the fog wall, so he kept his eyes looking up at the ceiling and he looked around as if he couldn't pinpoint the source of her voice.

His charade seemed to satisfy her. Faith waved at the guard. "Leave us," she commanded.

The guard looked like he wanted to disagree, but instead of glaring at the man, or making some sort of threat as Aiden expected, Faith smiled at him. "I'll be fine. I'll call if I need you."

Aiden almost forgot to keep up with the act of being totally clueless, but he was caught off guard by how Faith ruled her company of cultists. John and Jacob ruled with fear while Faith was kind.

The Peggie nodded his head before he stepped out of the room and shut the door. Aiden kept his eyes up, but instead of moving his head he moved his eyes as if he was still searching for something.

Faith reached towards him and touched his shoulder, he didn't have to fully pretend to jump in surprise, but he still avoided looking directly at her. Despite the little light in the room, she was close enough for Aiden to see that she didn't look well. Her eyes dropped in exhaustion and her voice sounded weak and tired. If their little car collision made his body feel like crap he could only imagine how it made her feel, plus with her bum leg.

What did she want to talk to him about though?

"Faith?" He asked. Now that she was touching him he pretended he looked at her without actually looking at her. He remembered in the first week he stepped into the Henbane River region Faith broadcasted a message to him on television. Well technically it was the Marshal that recited her message, but he recalled the eerie way she kept her hands on him, one touched his back and the other slid up and down his arm. It was then that he theorized Faith needed to touch the people under the Bliss to control them, or talk to them.

So he pretended to be looking at her, and she fell for it. He had the insane urge to grin, Faith wasn't the only one that could be manipulative, but he couldn't break the ruse now. He desperately tried to think of a plan. His hands were still cuffed, but he found the key. It would be easy to unlock one of the cuffs, he could easily overpower Faith, but then what? The window was too small for him to fit through, and there were guards right outside the door. No doubt the one Faith dismissed would be ready to charge in if she cried out.

No, as much as Aiden wanted to act _now_ he had to wait, had to be patient as he always was.

His peripheral vision watched as Faith smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry it had to be like this."

Aiden pondered on his response and then shrugged. "What's there to apologize for? I would be a fool to think you'd try not to escape just because I saved your life."

He saw Faith winced slightly, but she quickly brought up a smile that didn't touch her eyes.

"What do you want anyway?" Aiden pushed. He still didn't understand why Faith even wanted to speak to him about. To be completely honest he was a bit worried to be in the same room with her. If she decided to throw more Bliss on him then it really hampered his escape plan.

"You never answered my question."

Aiden frowned. "What question?"

Faith pulled away from him and leaned back on her chair. He waited for her to speak again before he looked up at the ceiling. "Why you saved me. You could have left me there in the river."

This time Aiden smiled sadly. "Why does it matter? You're back home with your people. You'll deliver me to the Father on a silver platter. And maybe he'll give you a gold star for it."

If the little jab annoyed the woman, she didn't show it. But he could tell she was fading. She rubbed her eyes and remained silent for a long moment. He tried not to notice when she massaged her injured leg and grimaced.

"It matters to me," she finally told him, her voice so quiet he strained to hear her words. "After everything I did to you, to others, it would've been so easy to just walk away. No one's…." she paused, her white teeth chewed at her bottom lip.

Aiden felt his chest tighten in pity. "You have men and women that obey your every command. I'm sure you're used to people saving your life on a daily basis from the people that are against the cult. I'd imagine your pretty head is quite the target."

Faith shook her head, but she seemed to have realized her mistake in providing a silent answer he was technically unable to see. "No," her voice was all but a whisper as if she didn't want anyone outside the room to hear. "Their—our—loyalty is to the Father. To obey me is to obey Him."

"Ahh," Aiden grinned. He _almost_ look at her, but played it off as an attempt to scratch his chin with his shoulder. "So if the Father were to cast you aside, these people wouldn't hesitate to abandon you."

Faith swallowed. "Yes."

"And it's been done before," Aiden pressed. This was the best opportunity for him to plant that seed of doubt in her, while she was vulnerable and in the moment of doubting the cult. "How many women before you bore your name?"

The question struck a nerve, Faith grimaced and it probably wasn't from her injury.

"Is that what you were afraid of when I destroyed His statue? That he would start looking for a replacement?" Thankfully Faith didn't respond, she just shook her head in denial. "There's been what like four women before you? They all had the same name. Were they all adopted too?"

"Stop," Faith's voice was still soft, but there was a hint of anger in it. "You don't know anything about that."

Aiden shrugged, his eyes still focused on the ceiling. The more he talked the more difficult it was to remember to keep up the whole Bliss induced act. "I know enough to say that doing the same thing twice is a coincidence. Doing it three times is a trend. What's so different about you that the Father won't eventually decide to find another replacement?"

"You're wrong!"

The door opened, but Faith was prompt in pointing at the Peggie that looked ready to shoot at Aiden. "Get out!"

The Peggie stood stunned for a brief moment before he nodded and stepped out again. Thankfully Faith wasn't looking at Aiden to notice the small grin that grew on his face. He imagined the shock the Peggie probably felt for the always smiling Faith to suddenly be glaring and yelling at him.

When her head turned to look at him he promptly dropped the grin. Then he remembered to look around the room in confusion.

After a long, awkward moment of silence, Faith inhaled deeply before exhaling. But whatever she wanted to say she hesitated. Aiden liked to think that was a point for him. He was already getting her to doubt, to have second thoughts. Then he remembered that note she had carelessly left behind in an abandoned church just north of the County Jailhouse. She left a confession on a note where she expressed her doubt of the project, or was it doubt of Joseph Seed himself?

"You say he won't replace you as he did to those other women, but yet you still fear him." His neck was starting to ache from looking up for so long, so he rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. "If a man, a father, can murder his own daughter, his flesh and blood, then what can he do to a sister in name only? You're right to fear him. Even with his own brothers there was fear. Well, I could see the fear in John. Jacob on the other hand," Aiden shrugged. "I think he was so psychotic he was just happy to play along as an excuse to torture and brainwash people."

Faith remained silent, but each time he pretended to look around the room he scanned her face and he could see the resignation in her eyes. She either agreed with him or she was just too tired to care anymore.

"You're wrong, Aiden." She stood using the chair for support. "The Father wants to save us. One day you'll realize that as the truth."

The junior deputy wasn't sure if she was saying that more to herself or to him. Regardless, he thought he accomplished his job. He just hoped Faith wasn't too brainwashed herself to disregard his words.

She hopped towards the door, but before she could open it Aiden spoke again, "you want to know why I saved you?"

Faith paused and looked back at him.

"You deserve more than all this." He couldn't move his arms so he made do with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't think you're too far gone to be saved. You didn't deserve to die alone."

Faith exhaled like she was about to sob, but she immediately composed herself. "I'm not the one that needs saving."

With that, she opened the door and was literally carried away.

Aiden sighed and slumped his head back onto the wall.

He shouldn't feel disappointed he failed to talk some sense into the younger woman. She's been under The Father's influence for years, she wasn't about to change her mind within a few hours.

Faith's voice sounded muffled through the closed door. "No harm is to come to him. Tomorrow we'll deliver him to The Father." Then there was the sound of retreating footsteps.

Aiden was left alone which he took advantage of and promptly unlocked his handcuffs. He quietly searched the room, but found nothing that he could use. The window was too narrow and high up for him to look out of. So with nothing else to do, Aiden sat back at his spot in the corner and waited. He really didn't want to go out guns blazing, but it looked like he would have to resort to that.

The sunlight was still seeping into the room from the small window when a Peggie charged into the room. The intrusion was so sudden that Aiden forgot to pretend to still be under the influence of Bliss, but the Peggie didn't seem to notice. Despite the Peggie wearing a hoodie with the hood up, Aiden could see enough of his face to determine that he was quite young, probably just out of high school.

Aiden was struck with hesitation. If it was an older Peggie he'd have no problem breaking his neck, but this kid? He couldn't kill him. But he was afraid he would have no choice if he wanted to get out alive.

The kid fumbled with something in his pocket for a moment before he pulled out a familiar glass bottle with a green liquid. With no choice but to act now, Aiden jumped to his feet and grabbed the kid into a neck lock. He didn't twist his neck, but he immediately cut off his air, which was done on time to avoid the Peggie from calling for help. The kid's strength was feeble compared to Aiden's, and within a few moments he passed out.

Aiden quickly pulled the kid's AKM free and aimed it at the door. A moment passed and no one charged in. Good, then hopefully no one heard the scuffle. But the moment he stepped out the door he was still a dead man. Then he had an idea and took the unconscious kid's hoodie. They both wore dark blue jeans, so he didn't have to completely swap clothes. He zipped up the hoodie and brought up the hood, then he slung the rifle over his shoulder and slowly opened the door.

There was no guard outside, but Aiden could see the shadows of other Peggie's walking about. None paid him any mind as he did his best to walk about nonchalantly. The first part of his plan was to walk around the house and try to find Faith. His ideal goal was to apprehend Faith, but if he had to get out alone then he wouldn't hesitate.

He kept as much distance from the other Peggie's, though there weren't too many of them inside the house. They all kept busy outside tending to the fields of Bliss flowers. He didn't have much time to wander about the two story house before the kid he knocked out regained consciousness.

There was no sign of Faith on the first floor. Just as he was climbing the stairs to the second floor his heart leapt into his throat when one of the Peggie's stopped him.

"Don't be going up there. You know Faith doesn't like people bothering her when she's resting."

Aiden kept his head down and all but jumped off the stairs before another passing Peggie, a female, waved off the man that scolded Aiden. "The kid's sweet on her, he ain't doing no harm." She grinned and winked at him. It felt strange to see such humanity come from an enemy Aiden saw as blindly violent. "She wasn't feeling too well, maybe take her some water and food."

The man grunted. "Fine, but _only_ take her a meal and get out. If you linger in there too long I'll toss you out myself."

Aiden nodded, he didn't want his voice to make them suspicious. But he grew worried as he noticed the male Peggie trying to look at his face. Thankfully he remembered where the kitchen was so he made a mad dash for it before his face could be analyzed further.

It felt like the Peggies were of a hive mind at times, once Aiden stepped into the kitchen there was another man putting a meal together. Nothing fancy, just a mere sandwich and what looked to be some sort of juice or lemonade. The man glanced at him when he arrived and nodded towards the tray with the meal. "For Faith. And be sure to come back for the sinner's food. Her orders that he be kept fed."

Aiden nodded again and took the tray. This time no one bothered him as he ascended the steps. The only problem at this point was that he didn't know which room Faith was in and there were several doors and hallways. None of the rooms had any guards either. Just about every room he checked was empty save for messy cots. At least all the Peggies on the ground floor were so busy they didn't notice him wander aimlessly. Eventually he took a chance on the room with the ajar door and found Faith on one of the cots.

Now that he saw her in better light he could see how haggard she became. Her breathing was a little labored and she had an arm draped over her eyes. He squashed down the concern he felt and focused on an escape plan. The weapon and ammo he took would be enough to get through a few Peggies, but in his previous firefights with the cult he only had to worry about himself. The thought of making sure Faith didn't run off or try to fight him was worrying.

Wait, the Bliss.

Aiden pulled out the small glass bottle. In his scuffle with the kid Peggie he had dropped the vial and it didn't break, he had taken it just as a precaution and it seemed best to use it now. He would still have to gag Faith, but there were plenty of bed sheets and clothes laying about. Would the cultists allow him to leave if he held Faith hostage? He couldn't trust that unless he wanted a bullet in the back, he had no idea how many Peggies were outside of the building.

If it were only Aiden, he could find a way to climb to the ground from the outside, but with Faith that would be impossible. Okay, so he would have to go guns blazing and hope both he and Faith didn't get shot in the process. For now, he had to make sure she was willing to go along with him. Sort of.

He laid the tray of food on one of the empty cots and pulled out the vial of Bliss. As much as he hated the hallucinogen, it was odd he was so willing to use it on one of the two people that created it. For a quick moment he wondered if Faith had ever been under the influence of it. Or worse, did she develop some sort of resistance to it?

 _One way to find out_ , Aiden thought as he unscrewed the vial, lifted Faith's arm from her face and tossed the green liquid on her.

Faith had already been roused when her arm was moved, but once the liquid struck her face she gasped and sat up. Her eyes blinked rapidly as she wiped at her damp skin. Then she noticed Aiden's presence, her mouth opened but he was faster and promptly grabbed the bedsheet that was bundled at her feet and shoved it onto her mouth to silence her.

Her cries were muffled and she grasped at his hand, but her strength was too weak to push his grasp. It wasn't long until he noticed the shift of her pupils and he knew the hallucinogen was taking full affect on her.

Good, so she wasn't immune to the stuff.

"We can do this the hard way or the easy way," he told her. "It's up to you which route we take." She seemed to understand her situation so she stopped her struggle and became silent. Her eyes became more and more glossy as the Bliss was absorbed into her system.

Satisfied with her compliance, Aiden removed the bed sheet. When Faith remained quiet he handcuffed her and quickly ripped the med sheet into a strip to wrap around her mouth. She was quiet now but that would change once they stepped out of the room, and he needed to get out before that one Peggie—

"—What are you doing?!"

 _Fantastic timing_ , Aiden thought. The very Peggie he was just thinking about stood at the room's entrance, his face turning purple from rage. Was he dumb enough to shoot at him and risk shooting Faith as well? The answer was yes. The large, burley man gripped his rifle and aimed it at the young deputy.

"Stop!" Aiden shouted. "You shoot me you shoot her!"

That made the Peggie hesitate, which was all the time Aiden needed to pull his own rifle into hand and shoot the man with a single bullet to the chest. There was a shout from inside the house and then the distant stomping of feet.

"If you don't want to get shot I'd stay in that corner and don't move," Aiden warned Faith as he stripped the dead Peggie for ammo and a secondary weapon. He peeked out the door and waited for the others to charge down the hallway before he started to shoot them down. A few of them went down, but once Aiden's position was given the rest waited in cover.

Aiden cursed at the stalemate. One person peeked over the wall and Aiden missed his shot. If only he had a grenade. He glanced at the dead Peggie beside him and thought of an idea. The dead man was no grenade, but it might be enough to lure the Peggies out of cover.

Faith still cowered in the corner of the room, her glossy eyes fearfully looked about the room in confusion.

Despite being bruised both from the car collision and from a few well placed kicks, the adrenaline helped Aiden ignore the complaints from his muscles as he lifted the dead Peggie and tossed the body into the hallway. Immediately shots rang out.

Once the shots stopped, Aiden waited for them to make the first move. Then there were multiple people charging for the room, he would have waited until they actually stepped into the room but he didn't want to risk them taking any shots at Faith so he shot them down before they could step in.

Three more bodies joined the small pile that was already in the hallway, but there was no other movement. Aiden debated on stepping out, but really couldn't risk it. He glanced out the window and found the fields empty. A few more moments passed in silence so he risked a peek outside. When no shots fired at his face he took it as a good sign.

He stepped over the numerous bodies in the hall and quickly stepped into one of the other rooms and there still had been no shots fired at him. Eventually he stepped out of the hall and towards the loft that overlooked the ground floor. The place was clear, there were no Peggies waiting in cover. Aiden let out the breath he held and retreated to the room to fetch Faith where she still sat in the corner. He could feel the rage radiating off of her, but she didn't put up a fight.

"I'm going to need you to get on my back," he told her. He had handcuffed her so her hands were in front of her, so he lifted her arms and put them over his shoulders as he gripped her thighs and hoisted her up onto his back. A muffled cry escaped her at the movement, but she remained quiet afterwards.

They left the building without further complications, Aiden found a line of keys along the way and pocketed all of them, the fields were still deserted as he slowly dashed cover to cover towards the parked vehicles. Thankfully there were other cars besides the semi they arrived in. Aiden placed Faith into the passenger seat as quickly as possible, made sure the seatbelt was secured, and jumped into the drivers seat. It took a few moments to find the correct key for the car, but once the engine roared to life he wasted no time in driving out of there.

The drive was silent and no one followed them. The sun was starting to set down by the time he found himself back to where they left off before stopping at the gas station. They arrived to their destination as dark began to settle. Aiden looked around and found the residence was still deserted, but the gore of what transpired to the family was still present.

He checked on Faith and found her still asleep, she was out for the whole trip. She woke when he opened the passenger door, but her gasp was still muffled by the makeshift gag. Aiden thought about removing it, but he didn't need her to be choking just yet. The cloth had been in place probably for an hour or so, her mouth was probably drier than a desert.

"I hope you're not allergic to bees," he told her as he settled her onto his back.

The one personal bunker that Aiden could remember was hidden in a small shed. It was fully functional, unlike some other bunkers that sustained some damage, and it was fully stocked with food, clothes, and electricity. The entrance to the shed was sort of protected by a hive of bees, which tended to keep the Peggies away.

When Aiden pulled Faith out of the car he wasn't able to tell if she was still Bliss induced. "Don't bother the bees and they won't bother you." Not that he really expected her to swat at the insects with her arms held in placed and wrapped around his neck. He felt her press her face onto his back after his warning. Despite the bees flying around him curiously, none stung him as he stepped into the shed.

The bunker door was still unlocked, which was a great relief to Aiden. If it were locked he would have had to come up with a completely new plan. Going down the ladder with Faith on his back was a lot harder than it seemed, there were a few times where her weight settled on her arms that were on his neck. It was a small miracle they both made it to the bottom of the ladder alive. He found that the place still had electricity when the lights turned on.

He took her to the small room that held two beds, bunk beds to be exact, and placed her on the bottom. Her eyes were focused on him so the Bliss probably already wore off. Her face twisted into a grimace after he removed the cloth gag, she ran her tongue around her mouth probably in hopes of creating any kind of moisture.

Aiden unlocked the handcuffs before he retreated into the small room they walked in through for a moment. He returned with two water bottles and handed one to Faith. As they quenched their thirst, Aiden walked about the bunker and pointed out the different rooms to Faith.

"The bathroom is here and you already saw the kitchen. There's a TV, but I don't recommend watching it. There isn't much to watch at the moment."

The woman was silent, but she continued to glare at him. Aiden took a long look at her and realized her face was flushed, the hair around her face looked damp. Odd, the day was cool and he had been in a hoodie without breaking a sweat.

"Are you feeling all right?"

Faith jolted back and tore her gaze away from him. "I'm fine. I just…want to sleep."

Aiden nodded. She had definitely been doing a lot of sleeping for the day, but she did have a serious injury to heal from. Speaking of which, he searched the bunker for a first aid kit and immediately found one in the bathroom.

"I can bandage myself," Faith insisted.

Before the junior deputy could respond, his radio flicked to life. He stood in place confused for a moment, he could have sworn that the Peggies took his radio when he was originally apprehended, he recalled Faith giving the order to take it from him, but it was probably forgotten when he tried to escape.

There was no use hiding his conversations from Faith, the bunker was small and quiet enough for her to hear him even if he stepped into the kitchen or bathroom. "Aiden he—"

"— _Where the hell are you?"_

Aiden's lips curled into a grin. "Why hello to you too, Jess."

" _Don't hello me, we've been waiting on your ass all damn day."_

"Right, I'm sorry, okay? I got…caught up with something. I was going to camp out tonight, but if I kept you waiting then I'll head over now. Give me about an hour, okay?"

There was silence for a moment before Jess responded. _"I'll hold you to that. You take longer than an hour and we're leaving without you."_

"Understood." With that, Aiden stuffed the radio back into his pocket and took one final look at Faith. "I'm really sorry to have to leave you here alone. But there's plenty of food and water, and even a change of clothes." He glanced at her leg. "Keep changing the bandages. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Faith finally brought her eyes up to meet his own. The anger in them was gone and replaced with fear. Aiden felt guilt stab at his gut, but he quickly steeled himself. He was leaving her here alone for her safety. Plus, once he met with the others at the prison he intended to talk to Tracey and convince her to at least retrieve Faith if he didn't return from her Gate. So he wasn't going to abandon her to die if he himself didn't make it out alive.

"I don't recommend trying to escape either. The ladder is a long climb and I'll be sealing the hatch from the outside."

"Why are you leaving me here?" Faith asked. "I thought you were taking me to jail."

"That'll come in time, Faith." He replied. "For now, it's best you remain here. If I leave you at the jail…well, I won't be there to keep the others in check. You asked me why I saved your life despite everything you've done. Let's just say that the others, the Cougars, may not be so forgiving. This is just temporary, but you'll be safe."

"Will you come back?"

Aiden offered the woman a small smile. "I mean to return. But I will have someone keep an eye on the place to make sure you don't try to plan an escape. Don't piss them off either, okay?"

For both Faith and his sakes, he hoped he made it out of her Gate alive.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter we'll begin to see things from Faith's POV, but the story will continue with Aiden's perspective as well. Sorry for the delay of this chapter, but with my work schedule finally returning to normal the fic updates will return to normal as well. To make up for the delay this chapter was stretched out a little bit. I appreciate the feedback for those that took the time, and I just recently realized that responding to reviews is a thing (last time I've been active on this site such a thing didn't exist), but I can understand why responding to anonymous reviews isn't possible. So hopefully I don't get in trouble for responding to a review this way, but whether or not romance will build between the Junior Deputy and Faith is currently undecided. I'm very much at the mercy of the muse, when this story was planned out I hadn't planned on the previous and this current chapter where Faith was able to escape, so time will tell I suppose, lol.


	6. Confession

Ambivalence

Chapter 6: Confession

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

The junior deputy couldn't help but feel apprehensive when he entered Hope County's jail. It felt like everyone looked at him longer, like they knew he lied and kept Faith alive and hidden. Well, he didn't actually lie, he was just vague about her condition. One of the first people to approach him was Jess, the others hanging behind her like a shadow.

The bow expert's critical blue eyes analyzed him from head to toe the moment she spotted him. When her gaze lingered on his face she whistled and then cursed. "What the hell did they do to your face? I can barely recognize you," Jess announced.

Aiden grinned despite the action hurting his bruised face. "I had a little Peggie trouble on the way here."

Jess grinned back. "Bet they weren't too happy about you killing their precious Faith."

The deputy pressed his lips tight together to keep himself from correcting the hooded woman. Even indoors she sported her hood.

Grace, the always straight to business one of the group, stepped in front of Jess. "As much as it would be preferable to attack Faith's Gate now, hidden by the night, maybe we should wait a day or two so you can rest."

Hurk nodded. "Yeah, man. You look ready to keel over."

As much as Aiden would appreciate a quiet moment or two to rest, he didn't like the idea of attacking another bunker while his muscles were sore and stiff. He was successful in destroying Jacob and John's Gates because he didn't wait to attack them after he killed the two men. It was best to jump into action now before his body got used to resting.

So Aiden shook his head. "No, we head to Faith's Gate now. The sheriff and the others have been there long enough. And now is the best time to attack while the Peggies don't expect anything to be wrong."

Nick was the next to speak up. His presence sort of caught Aiden by surprise. Since Nick's wife, Kim, gave birth to their daughter, he was rarely around to help. Not that Aiden could blame him. If he had a daughter he'd want to spend just as much time with her too, especially with the battleground that was Hope County. "Then it's settled. But it'll take some time to drive there. The damn bunker is located Northeast of here."

Aiden nodded, but was faintly distracted by the smell of pizza that seemed to be stemming from the main cell block, which had been turned into the living quarters for the Cougars. "Adelaide, Grace, I'd feel a lot safer if you both stayed in the sky and act as our eyes. And our sniper if need be. Hurk, you'll remain outside of the Gate, there are still a small amount of The Chosen that are left. They just may be guarding the last remaining Gate. Everyone else will go in with me."

Hurk and Jess looked like children being promised a trip to their favorite toy store while the others merely nodded.

"Great, let's take twenty to get everything ready. I have a date with a box of pizza."

Aiden had been hoping to find Tracey in the main cell block where there was indeed a pile of fresh pizzas waiting for him, he didn't know where or how the Cougars always managed to get their hands on fresh pizza, but she wasn't there. Word traveled fast and everyone delayed his search for the woman with congratulations, hugs, and other expressions of gratitude for avenging those that were killed by Faith's attack.

Rather than feeling proud and glad for the attention, Aiden instead felt worried. If people were this happy about the news of Faith's demise, how would they react when he showed up to their doorstep with her alive? An ache began to brew between his brows and he absent mindedly scratched at it with a hand that held a half-eaten pizza slice. Maybe bringing Faith to the jail would be a bad idea, even with the sheriffs presence.

His thoughts halted when he found Tracey, or rather she nearly ran into him as they both turned a corner while Aiden was experimenting if he could fit two slices of pizza into his mouth. Yes he was that hungry. And the answer to his experiment was yes. The negative side effect, however, was that he nearly choked when he spoke to Tracey.

Aiden studied the shorter woman's face when she recognized who he was. Unlike everyone else, she didn't immediately slap him on the back or hug him for killing the ruling herald of the region. Her brows nearly touched each other as she looked at him in anger, but there was a sadness in her eyes. The sight suddenly made the pizza taste like chalk.

Appetite gone, the junior deputy set the nearly empty box on the floor and motioned Tracey to follow him. Thankfully, she didn't refuse him. Aiden blindly walked down the hall and opened a door that led them outside. The night was cool and quiet, but there were no others present besides the one or two guards that patrolled along the jail's wall.

"So, obviously you've heard."

Tracey's glare deepened. "It's a little hard to ignore everyone celebrating the death of your former best friend like it's the New Year."

Aiden was surprised to hear the sadness in her voice, she had seemed to hate Faith so much. But he was also relieved to hear she still possibly cared for her former friend, best friend, because that gave him hope she'd agree to his favor. He wanted to offer her comfort, but Tracey reminded him a lot like Jess. Once he tried to comfort Jess after he helped her kill The Cook and she nearly stabbed his hand with an arrow. He knew not to make that mistake twice so he motioned for Tracey to walk with him. "I thought you hated her."

Tracey walked along, her gaze looked about for anyone within hearing distance. But they were completely alone outside, the guards at the wall were too far to hear them. "I may have felt like I hated her when she decided to stay with the cult despite my warnings. Then when she started playing with people, used people to kill or turned them into practically a zombie." She scoffed and shook her head. "I know she didn't directly kill people, like Virgil and the Marshal, but she may as well have. I _hated_ that she chose to be Daddy's little flower girl."

Honestly Aiden was surprised Tracey was even telling him this. The woman always seemed weary of him that bordered on being hostile. But ever since he helped the Cougars take back control of the jail her treatment of him changed, he guessed he earned her respect. And maybe he was the only one she could talk to about this without being judged. And maybe it took Faith's death for Tracey to remember her as a person, someone she used to call a friend.

Tracey continued. "We told each other everything, back when she called herself Rachel. We bonded over the dumbest thing."

Aiden remained quiet, but he listened to everything the woman told him. He never looked away from her, even if she frequently looked everywhere but at him, but she seemed more concerned to make sure no one else approached them.

"Did you know her family treated her worse than an abandoned dog?" The anger on her face intensified. "Bet you do. She tells—told everyone her story to get them to pity her. To make people think the cult saved her." She paused to swallow, no doubt she was struggling to keep her emotions in check. But the anger remained on her face and in her voice. "Her dad would beat her, but he'd always hit her in places you couldn't see 'cuz of her clothes. But it's why she always wore long sleeves, even during the summer. If that wasn't enough, her mother constantly reminded her about how she wasn't wanted, didn't belong, how _worthless_ she was."

Tracey paused again to shake her head. "There were rumors that her dad did more—twisted and messed up things that no father should ever do to their child, but that was the one thing Rachel never talked about. She didn't know why they hated her." She scoffed again. "As for me? My family was the opposite. I could stand right by my folks, talk to them, hell I could scream at them and they'd just ignore me. I had to fend for myself in my own home. As a kid I once broke my leg in the backyard, laid there crying for hours, and I could see them through the windows, but they did nothing. They eventually called an ambulance, but it was because they got tired of hearing me cry. So we were two broken, love starved girls that just needed companionship."

The pity that Aiden felt for Tracey's story quickly turned to anger. It was almost funny that he became angry, furious even, while Tracey's anger melted into sorrow. She had to pause again and she sniffed. She cursed as she quickly swiped her sleeve across her eyes. "We made a pact that we'd get the hell outta here once we graduated from high school. It was our plan to work and save until we could get out of Hope County. But then the cult showed up and started taking people in. They looked like they had a worthy cause on the outside. We thought it was a good opportunity, even if we were still stupid teenagers."

Tracey stopped speaking, but Aiden kept quiet even though he knew she wasn't done with her story. He waited, patiently, even if the anger in his chest felt like it tightened into a ball that needed an outlet.

The shorter woman pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She offered the box to Aiden but he refused by a shake of his head. He continued to wait and two drags from her cancer stick later she continued talking. "We could tell something was wrong with the cult. It was okay for them to be angry at the world, but we had to be complacent. The only time we could be angry was when we had to do their bidding using violence. I wanted out, and Rachel did too. Or at least I thought she did, until she chose to be the flower girl."

She finally looked at Aiden and kept his gaze. "If she told you she had no choice it was a lie. I was there. I was… _always_ there and she chose them."

Aiden felt the urge to speak on Faith's behalf, to explain what she told him about being forced, but Tracey continued.

"She was always too nice. That was the only thing we fought about. She'd let people walk all over her, never put her foot down, she never got into fights and avoided them by being the little peace maker. I told her it would be her downfall one day." She tossed the butt of her cigarette to the ground and put a little too much strength in her leg when she stomped on it. "It sucks to be right."

Aiden didn't need better lighting to see the tears streaming down Tracey's cheeks, he could hear the shake of her voice as she spoke her last statement. The urge to hug her, comfort her, became intense and he took a step towards her to do just that, but he halted when she glared at him again. So he nodded and kept his distance, but he dropped the arms he had crossed over his chest to his sides in case she changed her mind.

They were silent for a long moment. Aiden wanted to just shout out, she's alive, but he kept himself in check. He hated that it took a very vulnerable moment for Tracey to confirm that she'd be safe to be told about Faith. "Tracey, I have a very important confession. A secret that you must swear and promise that you will not repeat to anyone else. At least not yet, until it's safe."

The sadness all but evaporated from the woman and she frowned in confusion. Her head tilted slightly.

"Promise me," Aiden repeated.

She exhaled loudly. "All right, fine. I promise to keep this between us."

It was then Aiden's turn to look around to ensure no one was listening. And he lowered his voice. "You know that my friends and I are going to hit Faith's Gate tonight, now actually. But…I'm afraid that if I don't make it…"

Tracey's frown deepened. "What are you saying, rook?" The deputy called Aiden rook or rookie so many times that Tracey picked up on calling him that too. Not that he minded.

"There's a personal bunker due west of here. A woman lived in a cabin on a small cliff."

"I know the place," Tracey replied. She shrugged when Aiden lifted an eyebrow at her. "We've kept tabs on everyone's personal bunkers in the area, in case any of us needed a place to hide and recuperate. And there's only one bunker in a small cliff due west of here."

Aiden nodded. "Good, well, if I don't make it back I need you to…how to say this," he paused for a moment. "There's…something important in the bunker that I left for safe keeping. So if I don't make it, can I trust you to check the place? Bring…bring it back here to the sheriff. If the sheriff doesn't make it back either…my co-workers, the other deputies are alive, but they're both separated. One is with the Resistance in the north, the other is in Fall's End. Either one will take care of it from there."

Tracey's frown deepened more and more as Aiden explained his request. "What's in the bunker?"

"Can I trust you with this favor?" Aiden pressed.

"I'll agree to this _if_ you tell me what's in there."

 _Damnit, she's good,_ Aiden thought.

"If not, deals off."

Aiden sighed heavily. "Okay, okay. But…if I tell you, you _cannot_ tell anyone about this. Doing so can be dangerous."

Tracey scoffed. "What's so precious in there that it's 'dangerous' if anyone finds out?"

The deputy crossed his arms over his chest. "You've said it yourself. Faith's death had everyone celebrating it like it was a holiday."

His implication immediately sobered Tracey as she put two and two together.

"Imagine their reaction if they found out her death was…a little exaggerated."

* * *

Faith's world consisted of two things, pain and fire.

Her leg hurt so much. Before it was a constant ache, but now it became an intense throb that made her want to cry. Then there was the heat. For an underground bunker it was so hot she felt like she was roasting in an oven. Though it was strange, despite being underground it had circulation and the thermometer showed that it was a few degrees below room temperature, but it had to be broken if it was so warm she was sweating.

All Faith wanted to do was sleep. For the entire day she was unexplainably exhausted, and no amount of sleep seemed to sate her fatigue. But with nothing else to do, Aiden was correct about the television there was nothing on, and wandering the bunker, even with an injured leg, took her all of two minutes, sleep seemed like the best option. However, her leg hurt too much to let her rest.

So Faith was left to her own thoughts, something she loathed. As the head of the Bliss production, Faith was a busy woman. While she preferred to reside at her Gate, once it had been constructed, her duties often had her travel all over the Henbane River region, it was rare for her to travel anywhere else in Hope County. But she had responsibilities, a purpose, and was too busy to have to sit still long enough to just think.

Her first thoughts were of her failure. It was one thing to fail to apprehend Aiden when he ran around the county destroying her Bliss fields, but it was another matter when she finally had him and she failed to keep him from escaping. She kept thinking over what she could have done differently to keep Aiden from killing her people.

Eventually, she gave up on thinking what she could've done differently. It didn't matter now that she was locked up in a bunker, alone. She was afraid Aiden wouldn't come back. Whether he chose to simply not return or died, the result was still the same, she'd die alone.

Would he abandon her though? She still remembered his words.

" _You didn't deserve to die alone._ "

Faith felt a tightness in her chest. Aiden wouldn't have said that if he didn't mean it, right?

She was too tired to think about anything, so she shoved her thoughts aside and closed her eyes. Just as she succumbed to sleep, a wave of hot pain stabbed her leg that jolted her awake. The room felt even hotter and now her shirt, the same one Aiden gave her from the cabin, was damp with sweat.

The woman tried to ignore the throb and closed her eyes again. As she relaxed, all she could think and feel was the increasing pain that became so bad she felt nauseated. Maybe if she changed the bandages she'd feel better. And she could search the bunker for any pain killers. The Father's teachings were against the use of drugs and alcohol because they tainted their body, the temple to their soul, but she was desperate for anything that would make the pain stop.

Faith kept the first aid kit at the foot of the bed, within easy reach. Just removing the damp bandage flared the fire that was her wound, but she was grateful the bandage didn't fuse to her skin. Her stomach flipped at the sight of the wound, the skin was puffy and red, but the worst thing that had Faith worried was a thick yellowish liquid that oozed out of the wound that smelled foul. She did her best to clean the wound, but just touching the enflamed skin made her feel light headed.

Once she was done wrapping her leg with a fresh roll of bandages, Faith lazily tossed the used bandages across the room, and moved the first aid kit back to the foot of the bed with her good leg before she sank back onto the bed. Just the small act of changing her dressing had her feeling tired.

The pain was becoming worse, her whole leg felt as if someone had slammed a wooden bat onto it repeatedly and the bullet wound itself felt like it was literally on fire. She couldn't sleep, everything hurt too badly.

Was this how she would die? Alone in a dark room, in debilitating pain? She deserved it, probably. Her parents would say she deserved it. The members of the Resistance would agree. Tracey would be glad to see her go out this way.

Tears slid down the side of her face and were instantly absorbed into her hair. Once she started, she couldn't stop the sob that clawed out of her throat. It had been so long since she felt lonely. Despite her fear of upsetting The Father, he accepted her, loved her. His brothers didn't know her, but they accepted her with no hesitation. She had a family and she missed them, but everything was falling apart. Jacob and John were dead, and The Father…

Aiden's words ran in her head. How much would The Father tolerate her failures until he would seek out a replacement? Aiden was right about one thing, if a father could sacrifice his own daughter, he wouldn't hesitate to abandon an adopted sister.

Thinking over her fears made her sobs stronger. She had to get out of here, but she couldn't. Despite the deputy warning her about climbing the ladder she tried doing it anyway, she could only hop up on one step at a time with her good leg and she couldn't climb any more than two steps before she nearly fell. Despite the television inside the bunker, there were no other means of communicating outside, there were no phones, no radios, nothing.

She was trapped and at the mercy of Aiden keeping his word about returning. He said he would send someone to watch over her, but what if they weren't as forgiving as the deputy? She couldn't defend herself with her current condition.

The sobs continued until she was too tired to even cry. She felt even more exhausted, but she just couldn't sleep with her aching leg. The frustration of not even being able to rest exploded and she was suddenly angry and cursing the deputy. Everything was his fault, she had a purpose in life, she was _happy_ and he had to come and ruin it all. He may have saved her life, but she was miserable. How much worse would it be once she was thrown in jail? She shuttered to think about that.

It was too much. Her emotions were all over the place between fear, sorrow and anger. Strangely the room was so hot she was getting the chills and the pain from her injury was torture. She needed a distraction, anything to spare her from the pain and the thoughts from her head.

Her desperation fueled her tired muscles to move and she slowly climbed out of bed. It was difficult to move about the bunker, she couldn't put any weight on her bad leg, and her good leg always threated to buckle.

She needed anything that could help make the pain stop. Or knock her out. A sudden feeling of Déjà vu struck her. She felt like she was a teenager again, desperately seeking out anything that would make her stop feeling, even if it was just for a few minutes.

There was nothing in the bathroom other than toilet paper, soap and toiletries. The kitchen yielded no better results, other than a shelf of alcohol. The alcohol would be enough, it could numb the pain and calm her enough to sleep. Still, she hesitated to grab one of the bottles. It was against The Father's teachings to indulge in the pleasures of alcohol and drugs, but she so desperately wanted the pain to stop and rest.

Faith knew her willpower was fading because it didn't take her long to decide to beg for forgiveness later. She grabbed a clear bottle and hopped back to her bed. Her hands shook as she twisted the metallic cap off.

 _Forgive me for this moment of weakness_ , she thought. Silent tears streamed down her warm cheeks.

She placed the mouth of the bottle to her lips and took a gulp. The liquid burned as she swallowed and she coughed. It tasted _horrible_ , she looked at the bottle and read that it was vodka. She personally hated vodka, but she didn't care at the moment. She took another swallow. And then another. She could feel the liquid warm her stomach. Sweat collected at her brow and she wiped it off before taking a fourth drink.

The alcohol worked fast on her empty stomach. Her head felt light and the pain lessened its hold. She took two more swallows and felt satisfied she could just focus of the burn of the liquor.

Time had been lost to her since she was left underground. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. When the world refused to stop swirling, Faith collapsed onto her back, the bottle slipped from her grip and rolled away. It was for the best, if she kept drinking no doubt she'd get sick. For now, she felt satisfied both the physical and mental pain was drowned. She felt better, not happy, but better. Content.

Despite the sufferable heat, Faith slept and without dreams or memories to haunt her. When she awoke at an unknown time later, there was a shadow next to her. No, not a shadow, a silhouette of someone standing next to her. Her heart leapt at the thought that Aiden kept his word and returned.

She turned her head to look at the deputy, but the simple movement brought an ache that the alcohol didn't manage to completely subdue. She emitted a weak groan and she could feel the sweat that collected on the mattress beneath her.

The alcohol was still coursing through her system and her vision was a little blurry. There was something different about Aiden. Where he had light colored hair, a little lighter than her own brown, the person next to her had dark hair, and it was much longer, Aiden kept his hair short and cropped. Where he was tall and broad shouldered, this person was shorter and with narrow shoulders. The final difference Faith's drunk mind was able to comprehend was that Aiden was pale, but his face was red from sunburn, and this person had dark skin.

Could it be? No, Faith was probably just dreaming.

"Rachel?"

That name had the same effect of ice cold water being thrown at her. Faith's eyes widened and she looked at the figure again, studied their face.

Fear knotted in her gut. Why did she suddenly feel scared? Then she recognized the person. Her voice came out as a croak, and she felt like she was about to throw up. "Tracey?"

* * *

A/N: Yay for finally meeting a deadline! I appreciate those that left some feedback, it really helped me decide some things for this story. I don't want to give out too much, but I can say I'm glad to not feel alone if this story goes in a certain direction for certain people. I will say that I wanted to write this story to focus on character development, and I think a little romance will help with that, especially for Faith's character.

I did borrow some dialogue from the game, specifically from Tracey if you talk to her after Faith is killed. Even though she sounded like she was indifferent about Faith, I could hear some fondness and sorrow from her when she talks about her, so I definitely had to throw that in the story. As for whether Faith was sexually abused by her family, I've heard it mentioned in youtube videos and in the Far Cry 5 wiki, but there's no evidence of it in the game. I searched for every note and listened to all the phone calls from Faith and couldn't find anything to support this, and I searched through every Far Cry 5 reddit and found nothing, but I still tossed the idea of it being possible in the story as well, but not confirmed or denied.

With that said, thanks again for the feedback, I always look forward to reading what people have to say. And I apologize for not responding to those that are registered users, this week has gone by so fast I kept forgetting to get around to it. Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I try to get chapters up first and then I edit any mistakes later.


	7. Conflictions

Ambivalence

Chapter 7: Conflictions

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Tracey was conflicted. That was the best word for it. She couldn't remain at the jail ever since the rook told her that Faith—Rachel— was still alive. There was still a lot of things for her to do, injured people to look after, supplies to count and sort, help with patrols, the list was near limitless. But she couldn't focus on any of her tasks, her mind kept drifting back to Rachel.

When the jail was attacked and she found Virgil bleeding on the floor, dying, she was overcome with anger. No, anger wasn't a good enough word. Tracey was angry when Rachel chose to stay with the cult. She was angry when Rachel became a puppet and started calling herself Faith. She was angry when Rachel helped create the Bliss. She was angry when Rachel forced the Bliss on Hope County's populace.

Everything she did as Faith pissed her off more and more, and it steadily made her accept that her friend, Rachel, was dead. But when the jail was overrun by the Peggies, Tracey felt it appropriate to compare Faith to a rabid dog. The dog may have once been considered a friend, but once it was beyond control it was best to put it down. That was when she was so angry that she told the rook, Aiden, to kill Faith.

It was days later when Tracey learned that Faith had indeed been killed by the deputy. Her anger was still there, though it had simmered just the tiniest fraction. She felt…relieved at the news. As she digested the finality of Faith's fate, the grief started to kick in. She thought she had come to terms of accepting Rachel's death, but buried deep within she had that small spark of hope that Rachel could come back, could be saved. But her death snuffed that hope, and sorrow and guilt slowly ate at her.

The guilt formed into thoughts in her head. What if she hadn't suggested they both join the cult? What if she tried harder to convince Rachel to leave with her?

That was when Aiden showed up. His cheeks were puffed out with pizza, making him look like a damn hamster, but his cyan eyes saw straight through her, saw the sorrow and guilt she tried so hard to hide from everyone. When he led her outside she was ready to burst emotionally. She hadn't expected to spill her guts out to the rook and it got even worse when damn tears leaked out. But when Aiden confessed that Rachel was still alive, Tracey felt conflicted again. She couldn't stay at the jail and she couldn't wait for Aiden to return, so she left for the bunker.

Whatever Tracey had been expecting it hadn't been _this_.

When Aiden said he couldn't kill her, she expected to see Rachel skipping about the bunker in that god awful white dress. Instead, she almost didn't recognize the prone figure that was laid out on a bed. The ugly white dress was replaced with a long blue button down shirt, hair disheveled but damp and clung to a bruised and swollen face.

"Rachel?" She said more to herself.

The woman across from her looked confused for a moment and studied her for a long moment. She seemed to be a little more aware when she was called by her _real_ name. "Tracey?" Her voice came out as a croak and was slurred.

Tracey looked down and was even more surprised to see a half empty bottle on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and read the label. Her eyebrows shot up. "Well, this brings back memories."

When they were younger, they both had their own ways of coping with their problems. Tracey found comfort at the bottom of a liquor bottle. Rachel, on the other hand, needed harder stuff. She didn't smoke weed or snort coke like the other kids their age did at high school, no she needed the serious stuff that was delivered via needle.

They both took turns checking in on each other whenever one of them didn't show up to school. They had found an abandoned shack that wasn't a terrible walking distance from either of their homes and they transformed it into a place they could call their own whenever they needed an escape from their so called families. She'd often find Rachel cowering in a corner, high as a kite. It was the few times she ever saw a smile on her face. Then there were times where Rachel would be the one to show up and find Tracey very much like how she was finding the flower girl now, drunk and passed out.

Despite reminiscing on their past, Tracey was still angry. And to see Rachel laying in a bed looking worse for wear didn't do anything to simmer that anger. But she couldn't talk to the woman while she was hammered.

"Get up," Tracey commanded sternly. She retreated into the kitchen she passed through and returned with as many water bottles she could carry before she tossed them onto the bed. She had too many questions to ask and she wasn't leaving until they were answered. Her fingers twitched as they craved to reach over to the gun she held at the back of her jeans waistline.

Of all people Aiden had to get to check in on her it had to be _Tracey_. Then she realized why her gut twisted in fear, she was afraid for her health. And that was coming from someone with a nasty leg wound that oozed foul smelling pus.

Faith had half a mind to ignore the woman, she was much too tired to move. But she was motivated to comply, she really didn't need any more hurts to be inflected on her. She remembered Tracey to be a hard ass, she was unafraid to get physical if she was angry enough. She'd be a fool to think Tracey wasn't furious with her.

The world began to spin again when she sat up and her stomach lurched. For a moment she thought she was going to be sick. When the feeling passed she picked up a bottled water and twisted the cap off. Thankfully the sip of water didn't aggravate her stomach as she anticipated. If anything it cleared a signal to her brain that suddenly became aware of just how thirsty she was. She drained the bottle in a series of gulps.

"Keep drinking. You need to sober up," Tracey said. She didn't move from her standing position. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched her.

Faith's thirst allowed her to drink a second bottle easily, but halfway through the third she felt full. "Keep drinking," Tracey pushed.

Faith shook her head, which she immediately regretted since she still felt dizzy. "I can't, I'm full."

Tracey sighed and then retreated back into the kitchen. When she returned she handed her an opened can and a spoon. It was Pork n Beans. "Start eating. This will help absorb the alcohol."

The thought of food made Faith's stomach lurch again. She just wanted to sleep. "I don't…I don't think I can eat that."

"Yes you can." Tracey forced the can onto her free hand. "Eat."

To appease the woman, Faith scooped up a single bean onto the spoon and slowly chewed it. "Can't this wait," the words were a little hard to enunciate clearly.

Tracey's frown deepened, she opened her mouth, probably to yell at her, but after a moment she just shook her head and stepped closer. Her eyes scanned over her appearance, which made Faith uncomfortable. Her shirt was too short to cover her bandaged leg. Tracey snickered when her gaze lingered on said limb.

She bobbed her head towards her injury. "The rook do that to you?"

 _What do you think_ , Faith wanted to say. Again, she was weary of Tracey's fists. Her face hurt enough. So she settled with a simple, "yes."

A whistle escaped her former friend. "Did he do that," she gestured to her face, "to your face as well?"

Faith nodded before she forced herself to finish the rest of the water. There were still more unopened bottles, but she wasn't in a rush to start on them. She just needed a moment for the liquid in her stomach to settle.

Fear clenched in her gut again and Faith looked up at Tracey. "Aiden? Is he okay?" Was that why Tracey showed up, because Aiden didn't return? What was going to happen to her?

Tracey was silent as her eyes narrowed. "You're on a first name basis with him? Why?"

The question was odd and caught Faith off guard slightly. "I…know ev—everyone's name." Words were still hard to pronounce. The water helped wash away the taste of vodka, but her tongue still felt numb.

"You mean you know everyone's name that you drag into the Bliss."

Faith nodded. There was no need to deny that. When she welcomed people into the Bliss she made a connection with them. Tried to build their trust. It was easier to save people if she had their trust. And knowing their names helped.

"Why did you," Tracey paused and rubbed her eyes. She scoffed. "We both knew something wasn't right with the Peggies. So why did you stay with them?"

The shorter woman figured Tracey would be heading in that direction when she tried to get her to sober up. Ever since she accepted the name the Father gave to her she lost contact with Stacey. She tried to communicate with her with letters, and Tracey did respond once, but that was the end of it. They hadn't spoken for seven years.

"I had no ch—"

"Don't start with that!" Tracey roared.

Some of the drunken fog in Faith's head cleared up slightly. Her blood shot eyes watched Tracey's hands. If she started swinging her fists around she had no way to defend herself. She suddenly felt like she was a teenager again, in her room and watching her father's fists.

"You say you had no choice, but you could have left with me." Tracey began to pace. She did that when she wanted to hit something. "You could have left with me, but you _chose_ to stay with that nut job."

The insult to the Father boiled in Faith's veins. He was _not_ crazy. God simply chose him, talked to him, gave him a mission to save people.

Faith shook her head in denial. "I had _no choice_." She repeated.

"Yes, you did!" Tracey shouted and threw her arms up in the air. "We all have our own choices. You chose the easy road. Stay with the crazies so you don't get hurt! It's what you did with your parents and it's what you did at school."

Faith fought back a shout of her own. Of course Tracey would go there. She always knew how to hurt people.

"If I," Faith swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in her throat with difficulty. Despite the three bottles of water she was thirsty again. "You don't understand."

"Oh don't give me that, _Rachel_."

Faith winced at the name and she felt her anger flare. "You don't understand!"

"Then make me!"

The injured woman closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She set the can of beans on the bed beside her and reached for another water and took a sip. "I had no choice," she paused when Tracey snickered. "They threatened me. They threatened you."

For a quick moment Tracey's eyes softened. Then her brows pinched together in a frown.

"I couldn't," Faith paused. Her throat tightened with sorrow. "You were my…only friend. I couldn't lose you. By staying with them I saved you."

Tracey laughed.

Faith's hands tightened in anger. How could she laugh? She endured so much because she was more afraid of them killing Tracey than herself.

"You have a real hero complex, you know?" Tracey shook her head, a smile still on her face. "Those bastards were powerless then. They couldn't touch me if they tried. You were too naïve to believe otherwise. Save me?" She laughed again.

There was a quick flash of hurt, but then Faith's anger snuffed it out.

"You really are full of it," Tracey continued, her face no longer carried a smile. "The rook told me what you said. How Joseph Seed offered you drugs. That's why you stayed with them, wasn't it? Free drugs must've been really hard to pass up."

Anger flared in Faith's eyes. "That's not true!"

"Then they," Tracey shrugged shrugged, "brain washed you just like they did to the others."

Faith shook her head. "That was after they threatened to kill you. The drugs were…

"Like offering a feast to a starving person?" Tracey interjected.

"Something like that." Faith didn't understand where Tracey was going with all of this. A headache bloomed behind her eyes.

"Okay," Tracey started pacing again. "So you stay with the crazies because they threaten to kill me and offer you drugs to keep you happy. Of course you want to make _them_ happy so you stay and help them, start believing in their crazy stories."

"Stop saying that! The Father is _not_ crazy."

Faith was confused for a moment at the way Tracey looked at her. She recognized the looks of pity she gave her in the past. Why would she look at her like that now?

"Oh so it's perfectly _normal_ to offer love and acceptance to total strangers, and then torture and murder the others that don't want to be a part of them?"

Faith remained silent for a moment. She didn't like the violence the Father and his brothers resorted to, but she could understand that it was necessary. "God charged the Father to save everyone, whether they are willing or not."

Tracey threw her arms up. "Do you honestly believe in _that_? How many times have we heard that the world is going to end? Has the world ended yet?"

Another moment of silence. While Faith could firmly believe in the Father's teachings, she was a little doubtful about the Great Collapse. How could a God so loving want to destroy something he created, even with all the greed and corruption that infested it?

"So let's just pretend that Joseph has good intentions to 'save people' whether they are willing to accept that help or not. Do you think it's right to outright kill people over it? Torture people and _children_?"

Faith didn't have a moment to respond, Tracey continued and resumed her pacing. "And then there's _you_. You help them create the Bliss and use it to rob people of their minds. You use it to manipulate people into murdering others."

"It's not like that," Faith defended, which resulted in another scoff from Tracey. "I wanted the Bliss to help people. It brings peace."

Tracey laughed at that, loudly. When she settled she wiped one of her eyes. "Please, enlighten me of why you think that crap brings _peace_."

"It offers absolute freedom," Faith explained. "In the Bliss there's no fear, no hate, no sorrow, no responsibilities, only peace. It's something we all want."

Tracey looked unconvinced. This was frustrating, to answer her questions and not convince her of the Father's good intentions. It was easier to talk about the good of the Bliss if she was able to show it. She looked at her former friend and tilted her head to the side. "Have you experienced it?"

Tracey didn't answer, but her eyebrows bunched up in another frown. "If it's so _peaceful_ then why does it rob the humanity in people? Why are they so accepting of killing others?"

Another difficult question Faith was kind of hoping Tracey wouldn't touch on. She wasn't proud of the creation of the Angels. "That wasn't my fault! I was only trying to save those people. If they couldn't be saved they would be killed or sent to John or Jacob." Faith knew her method of converting former members of the resistance was the better one, more merciful. "Too much of a good thing can still be deadly or have undesired effects. This applies to everything, food, water, medicine, and the Bliss is no exception."

"And just using them like tools is so much easier than putting them out of their misery, right?"

"They're not miserable. They don't suffer like we do. They're…content."

Tracey looked at her in disgust. It surprisingly felt embarrassing to be looked at in such a manner. Faith still felt abnormally hot and sweaty.

The look of pity changed to something Faith couldn't identify. But Tracey sighed and then shook her head. "Looks like I was right." She stopped pacing and faced her. "You're truly messed up just like they are. Guess you fit into that…family perfectly."

Faith's thin eyebrows rose so high they nearly touched her hairline. The confrontation and the questions, it all clicked. Was Tracey upset because she found a loving family that didn't include her? She just then remembered the promise they made to each other about leaving the county, their families, and starting all over elsewhere. She considered Tracey her only friend back then, and as a result she was her only family too. But she had the opportunity to stay.

"If you had stayed…"

Faith's gut twisted in fear when Tracey stomped towards her. "And what? Get brainwashed into mindlessly killing people simply for not joining the club?"

Her accusations didn't jar Faith. Instead she couldn't help but feel guilty. Tracey was her only family and then she was replaced with a new one. She did try to convince her to leave, but Faith was too scared to leave at the time. But once she learned the good intentions of the Father and his family she didn't try to convince Tracey to return.

She wanted to touch Tracey then, to comfort her. But she had long ago learned that Tracey wasn't one that enjoyed physical contact. It was ironic really, Tracey's family never laid a finger on her but she detested a human touch. Faith, on the other hand, endured pain and physical punishment, but she still loved the comfort a mere hand on the arm or shoulder could bring, she craved it.

Faith felt sober now, the room was no longer spinning and she could speak clearly, but she still felt awfully tired. "Tracey," she paused and licked her lips. "I'm sorry."

The words had the opposite affect than what she expected. The standing woman's face contorted into anger and rage. " _You're_ sorry?! You can't just…kill innocent people and say sorry!"

Did she not know what she was apologizing for? "What? N-no, I'm apologizing to you for not trying to—"

Tracey interrupted, her tone near a screaming point. "Don't you _dare_ apologize for not trying to 'save' me, Rachel! I don't believe in that bullshit and I have a right to! You can't force me otherwise."

One of Faith's eyebrows twitched. She was patient and willing to ignore the previous times Tracey used her former name, maybe it was because she was so tired or because she's been in pain ever since she was shot, but she was getting quite frustrated and annoyed to be called by the wrong name. "That's _not_ my name."

"Yes, it is, _Rachel_!" Tracey looked smug when Faith winced. "It's sad that you cherish a recycled name."

"At least it's a name given to me by someone that loves me!" Faith wished she could stand up to be on even eye level with the other woman. "I'd rather keep a 'recycled' name given by a loved one over two…people that hated me."

Tracey laughed again which promptly boiled Faith's veins. She could only take someone mocking the Father so many times. The hands on her lap curled into fists.

"You think he loves you? I know you and I never experienced that sappy emotion, but you seriously can't be that blind and stupid. You're just a replacement for Joseph's dead wife and the cult mascot. It's easier for people to believe the Peggies are good and loving with you as their success story. A sad little local is accepted into a loving family and finds happiness. Who wouldn't believe the cult is just a bunch of hypocritical murderers."

The anger in Faith's veins simmered and dread crept into her chest. That wasn't true, it was just Tracey being cruel and trying to get into her head. "No, that's not true."

"Deny it all you want, Rachel, you know it's true."

The anger came back tenfold. "Stop calling me that! The Rachel you knew is _gone_!"

Faith wasn't sure what she should be more surprised by. The fact that she was standing, her hands still clenched in fists by her side, or that Tracey had a gun pointed right at her. She couldn't move and couldn't speak. Was this why Tracey came to talk to her? To interrogate her before she executed her? Faith fully understood why Aiden wanted to keep her in the bunker in secret, he was right when he said others wouldn't be so forgiving. Her own best friend, former friend, was willing to kill her. All she did was try to survive.

She was still emotional from all the events that transpired up to this point so she couldn't stop the warm tears that rolled down her cheeks.

"You're finally right about one thing," Tracey took a step forward. Faith instinctively stepped back, but once she put weight on her injured leg she collapsed onto the bed with a yelp. "Rachel is dead, but I'll make sure you'll follow her same fate."

A sob escaped the injured woman. "Why?"

Tracey was silent for a moment, but she kept the gun aimed at her. "I'm doing this for them, all those people that lost loved ones because of you."

Faith bowed her head down. There was nothing she could do, she'd be too slow to try to fight back. If their earlier conversation convinced her of anything it was that Tracey wouldn't believe anything she told her, even if it was the truth she'd brush it off as lies.

A shaky, bitter laugh escaped Faith. She felt her nose run so she sniffed and wiped the long sleeve of her sleeves across her nostrils. "You want to kill me so easily, and for others. You've never done anything for other people, you were always so…proud and strong."

"Shut up. It's too late for talk now."

Faith closed her eyes for a moment, but she steeled the last of her strength and looked up at Tracey. The anger was still on her former friend's face. She wanted to see if she looked regretful, but of course there wasn't a flicker of that emotion in her eyes. "I never…I may not have tried to convince you to join us because I always knew you'd never believe us, wouldn't come back just for me."

"Where are you going with this? You won't convince me to spare you."

"You saw how easily we took over the jail. But you know why I left it alone all this time? It was because I knew you were there."

"Spare me the sentimental"—

—"When we did attack, do you know why you were just tied up and left alone? I _commanded_ everyone to spare you. I may have ordered the deaths of other people, convinced others to take a Leap of Faith off of the Father's statue to atone for their sins, but I couldn't bring myself to cause any harm to you."

Tracey smirked. "Are you done yet?"

Faith really hadn't expected to change her mind, she just wanted to get that off of her chest. It was strange to suddenly remember Aiden then. She was still touched by his words, about not being able to let her die alone. If there was one thing Faith could safely say she was afraid of it would be loneliness. Even with Tracey as her friend when they were younger there were still times where she felt lonely. And here she was, about to die again, and she was definitely alone despite a former friend standing right in front of her. More tears streaked down her face.

If only she could see Aiden one more time. Just so she wouldn't be alone.

"What did you say?"

Did she say that out loud? She could have sworn she was thinking her thoughts.

"What does it matter?" Faith's words were quiet, her tone sad and accepting of her fate. The exhaustion pulled at her again and it became a struggle to open her eyes each time she blinked. Maybe she could finally rest her eyes, she'd be dead before she could fall asleep anyway.

She did just that, bowed her head down and closed her eyes.

A long moment passed, Faith's body was clenched in fear and anticipation of hearing the gun fire, awaiting to feel one last flash of pain as the bullet struck her, and then nothing.

Another moment and the silence continued to gnaw at Faith's nerves. She hesitated to open her eyes and peek at Tracey in fear that she was waiting for her to look at her before firing. Her pulse quickened and with it her blood pumped fiercely in her veins, her leg throbbed in response.

A curse escaped Tracey. Then she let out a series of more curses. The silence of the room was further broken when something crashed onto the floor. Faith opened her eyes and looked up. Tracey's back was to her, at her feet was a cluster of things that were once laid on a nearby table.

Faith was afraid to say anything lest she anger the other woman and she stopped hesitating to kill her. Tracey swore again and quickly turned to face her, her breath froze upon their eye contact. Faith stifled a squeak as she was suddenly closing the distance between them and she lifted her gun and all but pressed it against her forehead. The metal strangely felt cool and soothing against her hot skin.

"He's at your bunker right now, you know?" Tracey spoke with her teeth clenched. "Tell me, is he wasting his time? Did you already kill the people you took?"

When she failed to promptly respond, Tracey dug the barrel of the firearm further into her skin. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to the fire in her limb. "I didn't—I didn't kill them! A little Bliss to keep them calm, but that's it, I swear!"

"And what is a 'little,'" Tracey jabbed her forehead, "to you? Did you wipe their humanity?"

"No," Faith answered. Truthfully, when the surviving followers arrived with some hostages Faith only spent a little time with the Sheriff. He, like the Marshal, welcomed the peace and freedom the Bliss offered. She used that to her advantage and created a failsafe. The Sheriff was an important figure with the Cougar's, at the time she felt it was a necessary trade to kill him if she didn't survive her encounter with Aiden. So she convinced the Sheriff to take his own life if she didn't return to him in the Bliss. In reality it would be her or one of her chemists, the few other people other than herself and the Father that understood how to use the Bliss, that would talk to him to trigger his suicide. She meant to use him as a hostage should her Gate be attacked by the resistance in retaliation from her attack. She just hadn't expected Aiden to be leading that attack.

"I know that look," Tracey jarred her from her thoughts. "What did you do?"

Faith hesitated to respond and the gun was pressed against her skin again. But even if she answered wouldn't she kill her anyway?

"What did you do, Rachel?!"

The name made her wince again, but she remained silent. The reward for her small defiance resulted in Tracey striking her with the butt of her gun. Pain exploded in her right temple and the mattress reached up to press against her cheek. Then there was darkness.

When she came to she was sitting upward, her back pressed against a hard, flat surface. Her head _hurt_ and she felt nauseated. She closed her eyes again, preferring to sleep through the pain and sickness. There was a shout and then she was being shoved against what she was assuming the wall at her back. The pain nearly made her pass out again. A few blinks later and she noticed Tracey glaring at her.

"I'm not asking you again," Tracey said. Her hand gripped the collar of her shirt. "I don't have to kill you, but I can always just shoot your other leg."

It was difficult to think straight, and Faith struggled worse to form words than when she was drunk. It was like her brain took too long to send signals to her mouth and tongue to enunciate.

Faith was at least successful to utter a pathetic whimper. She missed Aiden already, he at least still treated her like a person despite all the hurts she inflicted on him. It was strange to admit that she was suddenly feeling remorse for her actions, even if it wasn't because people lost their lives.

"Th—the sher…sheriff," Faith managed to voice. Her tongue felt like it was too thick and stuck to the roof of her mouth.

"What about him? Did you kill him?" Tracey's eyes practically glowed in rage.

"N-no."

"Then what did you do to him?!"

Faith glared at the other woman. Maybe if she didn't hit her in the head she wouldn't have such a hard time speaking. "Bliss. He'll…have to sa—save him quickly. Pull him out of the B—Bliss."

Tracey swore and her fist connected with her swollen cheek. She cried out from the impact and pressed herself onto the mattress, her vision was swimming and she was worried to fall off the bed. She focused on her breathing to avoid throwing up and only just managed to keep everything in her stomach down.

It was a very slow and painful process to turn onto her side and curl up, all the while she heard Tracey speak. For a moment she thought it was her she was speaking to, but as slow as her head was working she caught on when Tracey mentioned Aiden's name.

" _Listen_ to me, rook!" Faith noticed Tracey held a small radio in her hand. "You need to get to the Sheriff quickly. And you have to pull him out of the Bliss."

" _What? Why?"_

Faith felt her ears perk at the sound of the deputy's deep voice.

"He'll die if you don't hurry."

There was silence for a few long moments. Faith didn't realize she had closed her eyes until Aiden's voice echoed in the dim room.

" _Please tell me you didn't"—_

—"Just save him and the others!"

Faith suppressed a groan as she watched Tracey stalk towards her.

"Where are they held?"

She just wanted to be left alone to rest. But at the same time she still very much wanted to live. If she had to look down the barrel of the gun again she wasn't sure if she could deny any questions asked of her.

It must've taken her too long to process Tracey's question because suddenly fresh paralyzing pain sprouted from her lower half. The pain was so intense just her crying out made her head feel like it would crack open. The corners of her vision darkened and bile burned at the back of her throat.

Looking down revealed Tracey's hand squeezing her bandaged thigh, her thumb painfully pressed directly on the wound. Tears, snot and sweat soaked her face, but she didn't care about the embarrassment, she just wanted the pain to stop.

"Stop!" She struggled to whisper. "Please!"

The hatred in Tracey's eyes scared her. Was this how Tracey felt when she abandoned her old name? Scared of seeing someone that looked like an old friend, but very much a different person.

"I'll…please stop, Tracey," she cried. The name seemed to have snapped the woman out of a trance. The hatred vanished from her dark eyes and then they widened as if surprised of what she was doing. She pulled her hand away, but her face hardened after.

It was still hard to form words, but Faith forced herself to make an attempt quickly. "Th—they're…bottom level. Together in on—one room."

Tracey's eyes softened, which made Faith confused. It was probably the pain and her headache that was making her see things. Maybe if she told her everything she'd leave her alone. As traitorous as it was to the Father, the information she could give about her Gate could help Aiden survive. He could return and this nightmare would be a little more bearable. She couldn't help but shake the feeling that if he didn't survive then neither would she.

It wasn't betrayal if she was just ensuring she survived, right? The Father would understand.

Every time Tracey relayed information to Aiden she pressed her for more information. What were her defenses, what weapons did her people have at their disposal. So she kept talking, whatever was asked of her she answered.

" _I found them,"_ Aiden said over the radio. _"But it looks like they're in a gas chamber, it's locked airtight and Bliss keeps pouring in everywhere."_

Tracey looked at her. Fear gripped Faith so she was prompt to open her mouth. "Con—control room. End of western hallway, stairs lead down."

There was a long pause after Tracey forwarded her message. She didn't mean to close her eyes and the pain in her head flared when Tracey shook her awake.

"Hurts," she muttered weakly. "Please, st—stop."

"Stay awake," Tracey commanded.

Her radio flickered back to life, Aiden shouted a curse. _"It's a maze down here. Where to next?"_

"Western hallway. Control room th—there."

Faith's chest tightened in worry when Aiden spoke again. He sounded pained.

" _It's blocked off. Pipes burst. We can't get through, too much fire and Bliss."_

Tracey let out a series of curses of her own. So that was it, there was no choice. Faith was hoping to give them enough information for them to rescue their people and leave. All that work to build her Gate…

"Pressure," Faith responded. "If—if he shuts off the central valves it'll stop the Bliss production." She paused to take a deep breath. Thankfully Tracey didn't push her for more information. "If he destroys the pumps the pressure will build up. All the-everything will unlock. But he…everyone will have to get out quickly."

Tracey gave her a hard look. She gulped. "It's the truth!"

Content, the other woman stepped away from her and passed on the information. They waited a long time, every now and then Faith was shaken awake, but thankfully Tracey didn't hurt her anymore. She didn't become angry with her either in the few times she sobbed as quietly to herself as possible, but it was impossible to keep anything silent in the small, quiet bunker.

Finally, the radio flickered to life and both of them became attentive.

" _It's done,"_ Aiden announced. He sounded tired, hurt. Faith's chest squeezed in worry. _"The bunker is destroyed."_

Faith closed her eyes at the news.

"The sheriff and the others?" Tracey immediately asked.

" _They're alive. We all made it, a few are hurt, but nothing life threatening. We're heading back to the jail."_

Faith could hear the smile on his face, as strange as it was to say. Still, she couldn't shake the fear that crept into her. What would happen to her now? Did she outlive her usefulness to Tracey?

The thought seemed to have summoned the woman's attention back towards her. The fear intensified and she began to feel sick, her stomach churned painfully.

Tracey stepped next to her, a small grin on her face. "So the little flower girl can be helpful."

Faith ignored her jab, but slowly did her best to sit up and stand.

"Where are you going," Tracey frowned. She made no move to stop her at least, but she didn't try to help either despite the struggle Faith had to walk. The room still spun, she wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol, she didn't feel drunk anymore, or if it was from the blow to her head.

"Bathroom," she muttered. She was grateful to be hidden away in the tiny bathroom before her stomach emptied itself of everything she consumed recently, all the vodka, water and some of the beans she forced herself to eat.

Long after she finished dry heaving she stayed kneeling in front of the toilet. Her body shook and her leg and head continued to throb, but Tracey allowed her the moment of solitude to which she was immensely grateful for.

Fear continued to web itself throughout her body. She knew that this was only the beginning of her nightmare.

* * *

A/N: I wasn't expecting to add in Tracey's POV in this story, but such things tend to happen with writing. Considering that she was the one that told the junior deputy to kill Faith, I felt it necessary to add more depth to her. No Aiden in this chapter, but he will return in the next. I most likely won't write out his adventure in Faith's Gate, we've all played the game (I'm assuming) so we know what happens in there. As usual apologies for any typos/errors. I'll eventually get to making any corrections, I just wanted to get this chapter out.


	8. Delirium

Ambivalence

Chapter 8 "Delirium"

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

They were still alive. Tracey kept repeating those words to herself. Aiden said some were hurt so she wanted to be there to help. She had to get back to the jail.

But then she found herself hesitating to leave. It was funny that she came to the bunker with the intention of killing Rachel, but now…now she not only was willing to spare her former friend but she was also hesitant to leave her alone in her condition.

Hearing the Bliss herald being violently ill didn't concern her, she just dismissed it as a consequence of the alcohol she consumed. But what did start to worry her was when she emerged from the bathroom and stumbled a step away from the bed, she couldn't regain her balance and fell. Tracey didn't want to feel concerned for her, instead she wanted to snicker and leave the woman on the cold floor. She almost did just that, she took a few steps towards the exit, but there was a tingling in the back of her head. That same tingling feeling came to her when she hesitated to shoot Rachel.

Why did she hesitate to shoot her? Tracey racked her brain about it for the last few minutes. She figured it came to two things. The first was how much Rachel didn't look like Faith at all. The stupid white dress was gone. Then there were the bruises and swelling on her face. When she first saw her, when she stepped into the bunker, it felt like time rewound itself and she was in high school again. Thinking back on the times Rachel skipped school she found her in their small cabin. When her beatings got bad, when the bruises and swelling could be seen on her face, she avoided school. Those were the times she'd take to the needle. Tracey hated those days.

The second reason she couldn't shoot was because of what Rachel said. She muttered about wanting the rook to be there with her so she wouldn't be alone. She was well aware of that fear of loneliness Rachel harbored.

So when she had the gun aimed at the woman, she wasn't seeing Faith. Instead she kept seeing her friend.

That was why she couldn't shoot her, couldn't kill her. But that didn't mean she forgave her for everything she did. She lost control of her anger, sure. When Rachel refused to give her information about her bunker, information that could save lives, she lost it and did everything she could think of to hurt the woman and get her to talk. It had worked, Rachel spewed everything she wanted to hear. But damnit she hated that feeling of shock and a little guilt that ate at her. It was easy to imagine the Peggies as mindless killers, but when Rachel cried and begged her to stop it was like being tossed into iced water, it was easy to forget that she was hurting a person.

Tracey would be needed at the jail. She had people to look after. Their make-shift doctor would have his hands full and would definitely need her help. But…she looked back at Rachel. The woman remained on the floor, unmoving. She muttered a curse and stepped beside her. The least she could do would be to leave her on the bed instead of the cold floor.

"Come on," she told the woman on the ground. The response she received was a weak groan. She shook her head and bent over to help Rachel up by placing an arm around her shoulders and practically dragged her onto her feet. The moment she touched her she wondered if it was better to leave her on the floor, a wave of heat radiated from her skin.

The flower girl was lighter than she remembered so it was easy enough to all but carry her to the bed and help her settle on it. But the intensity of her fever was worrying. More out of curiosity rather than concern, Tracey tended to her bandaged leg. The bandage was soaked with blood and pus, and possibly sweat, the heat around the wound was more intense than the heat from the rest of her skin. Worse, something she had never seen before, was a red streaking that spread from the wound itself. The streaking looked like a red spider web spreading to the rest of her thigh.

Tracey cursed again. Without a doubt the wound was infected. She'd need medical treatment. Did this place even have anything for it? And what would she need?

For now, Tracey eyed the first aid kit nearby and redressed Rachel's leg. She was needed at the jail so that took priority. She could ask Charles, the veterinarian turned doctor for the Cougars, about how to treat an infected wound. She was aware that their medical supplies were low, and after Rachel's attack their supplies would most definitely be exhausted. Not that she had any intention of using their medicine on Rachel herself, but hopefully this bunker had something.

Tracey shook her head. It was a wonder of how quickly she went from wanting to kill Rachel outright to wanting to make sure she didn't succumb to a bad wound. She just had information that they could use, nothing else.

She had turned to leave but was stopped when something tugged on the bottom of her hoodie. Looking down she found Rachel had grabbed her, her eyes half open.

"You…you won't—" She paused, her eyes closed. Tracey frowned and pulled herself out of Rachel's grasp.

Rachel opened her eyes again. "You won't hurt her, right?" Her voice was soft, hard to hear, and the words still slurred.

Tracey's frown deepened. "What? Hurt who?"

The fevered woman's eyes closed again. "You won't hurt my friend. Tracey. Right?"

Confusion struck Tracey. "What are you talking about?"

Rachel mumbled something that was impossible to understand. "If—if I stay, you'll…lea—leave her alone. Right?"

 _She's delirious_.

Realization settled and Tracey wasn't sure if she should be concerned or weirded out. Before she could say anything Rachel lifted herself up onto her elbows.

"I don't," she paused, but still struggled to sit up. "I'm sor—sorry."

Tracey decided to play along. She had a feeling talking sense to her would be pointless. "What are you sorry for?"

Rachel gave up on sitting up and collapsed back onto the bed with a weak groan. "I don't feel good." She closed her eyes and was silent for a few moments. Just as Tracey thought about leaving again she spoke. "I'll…I'll get back to work, Father. More Bliss."

Tracey was utterly confused at this point and was unsure on how to proceed. Should she acknowledge what she was saying? She was wasting time, she didn't know what to do or say. She tried to leave again, but Rachel was surprisingly quick to grab her.

"I don't-I don't want to be alone."

There it was again. That part of Rachel, the old her, resurfaced and Tracey almost didn't want to leave. She almost felt guilty about leaving her too. Almost. She was still angry with her.

"Go to sleep, Rachel."

The ill woman didn't need much convincing. A few moments later her grip on her hoodie weakened and then slipped. Her eyelids closed and remained closed.

Tracey quickly headed for the exit.

* * *

"How's the shoulder?"

Aiden glanced up, he hadn't noticed the sheriff climbed into the pickup truck he claimed for himself. He didn't mind the company, of course. In fact, it was better that the sheriff and he got some privacy.

Since they all escaped Faith's bunker before it imploded in itself, they all slowly took to claiming whatever Peggie vehicles they came across. Of course the injured people had priority to them. There was a moderate amount of Peggies on their way to the bunker, Aiden guessed perhaps an alarm of some sort was set off when they attacked it. But it was easy enough for everyone to hide among the trees and take out the Peggies by surprise so they avoided getting more people hurt. And Adelaide's small helicopter only had so much fuel left so they weren't able to make many trips.

Eventually the vehicles stopped arriving. But by then all of the injured people already had a ride back to the jail. The most recent vehicle they apprehended was a white pickup and everyone insisted Aiden take it. He wasn't too bad in shape, there was a stray bullet that grazed his shoulder, but it had long since stopped bleeding. But as tired as he felt, he could feel the fatigue deep in his bones, he didn't argue too long before he relented and took the truck. He tried to convince some of the others to hop into the back, but they insisted on staying with the remaining group in case more Peggies arrived.

Aiden rolled his injured shoulder, but promptly winced and regretted the action. "Not too bad," he answered his superior. They were on the road a few minutes before Aiden looked over the sheriff and analyzed him for any injuries. "Are you hurt?"

"Nah," the sheriff muttered. "I'm fine."

There were a few questions the rookie deputy wanted to ask before he broke the news about Faith. For some reason he felt worried about the sheriff's reaction. "So what happened after the Peggies got into the jail?"

The sheriff sighed. "I want to say it was a slaughter, but it wasn't. Not exactly." He took his hat off and tossed it onto the dashboard with a grunt. "Their priority was to take as many alive as possible. If they were shot at then they retaliated. And they sent in the Angels first to draw our fire."

Aiden nodded.

"I don't know too much of what happened. They got me with Bliss right away. By the time it wore off I was in the bunker, Faith was there waiting."

"How did that go?"

Even though Aiden wasn't looking directly at the sheriff he could still see him twiddling with his thick mustache. "It wasn't what I was expecting."

Aiden grinned. He could say the same thing when he first encountered Faith. She was a stark difference compared to how Jacob and John first greeted him. "What were you expecting?"

"Oh, a lot of things. Violence, torture, threats. I thought she was going to kill me, to be honest."

"So what did she do?" Aiden asked.

The sheriff took a deep breath. "She put me under the Bliss, 'showed' me around it. It was weird."

"How was it weird?"

"Rook, you've endured it. What did you think about it?"

Aiden was silent for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "It's…eerie. There's so many things 'in it' that's wrong. We know it isn't real, but yet it's still calming, peaceful."

The sheriff nodded. "Exactly. I've been in its influence before I came across the Cougars. But I think I was more terrified than anything. But this time? With Faith there leading me around it, reassuring me to let go of all my worries, it was so damn peaceful I almost didn't want to leave it. I didn't want to leave it. And that thought scares me."

Aiden almost asked him why, but he had an idea of why the sheriff felt apprehensive. He remembered what the marshal said before he shot himself, he didn't want to leave the Bliss.

"Did she do anything other than 'show you around' the Bliss?"

The sheriff was quiet for a moment. "I don't know how that girl did it, but she was the most convincing person I've ever met. Damn girl convinced me I should hang myself if she didn't return."

Aiden's eyes widened. "She did that?"

The sheriff nodded. "I can't explain it. She convinced me that should she perish, I would be so overcome with grief it was only right if I follow her."

The deputy paused, hesitant with what he was about to ask. "Do you…"

"No, I don't feel any grief now that she's dead. And I definitely don't feel like I should hang myself over it. You got me out of the Bliss just in time."

Aiden paused again. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. Could he tell the sheriff about Faith still being alive?

"What's wrong, rook?"

They would be arriving at the jail soon. It was now or never and this was the best opportunity he would have to speak with the sheriff privately. He wanted to trust his boss would stay true to their justice system. They were enforcers of the law, not judges or executioners. But they both experienced a lot for the past few months that would make any person willing to be the executioner.

"I got to the jail too late. You and the others were already taken, there were a few survivors left behind, and there were also a few that were killed. Of course I went after Faith. But, it was different with her."

Aiden grew weary with the sheriff's silence. He glanced beside him and found the man frowning at him. "What do you mean it was different?"

"When I faced Jacob and John I was fighting for my life. With John I wasn't the only one in danger, I had other innocent people to worry about." Just thinking about the cult's so called Baptist brought an ache to Aiden's chest, specifically the makeshift tattoo John carved onto his skin. He fought the urge to rub the pain away. "Jacob had multiple men and wolves chasing me while he took potshots at me with a sniper rifle on top of a hill a quarter of a mile away. Instincts kicked in against both men, it came down to survival. So it was kill or be killed."

"Rook," the sheriff spoke. "I'm not judging you for killing them. You don't have to justify your actions."

Aiden took a deep breath. "I'm not—no—I mean that it was different with Faith. She had no weapons and she was alone. With the Bliss I was a sitting target, she could have easily killed me. But she didn't."

Both men remained silent for a moment until the sheriff spoke up. "What are you saying, rook?"

Aiden cursed mentally. It was now or never. "I didn't kill Faith." He spared a quick look at the sheriff. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, he sat with a stoic expression.

"So then…"

"I didn't just let her go," Aiden defended. "I arrested her."

The sheriff was silent for a moment. He crossed his arms, looked out the passenger window and inhaled deeply. "Rook, if you left her at the jail, the Cougars will eat her alive. After everything she's done to them they won't spare her."

 _So he's not against her arrest,_ Aiden thought. Okay, so that was good. And they were on the same page about how the Cougars would react. "I thought as much as well. I left her at a safe place."

"Does anyone else know?"  
Aiden shook his head. "Only y—." His heart throbbed and felt like it dropped to his stomach. Even saying those words put him on edge. It's been weeks since he was conditioned to act out violently when he heard that song, but to be safe he didn't want to hear that song again. Ever. He wasn't even sure if he could be cured of it. "No, I told one other person. Tracey. I trusted her to take Faith to Joey or Staci if you and I didn't make it."

His boss scoffed. "Are you sure it was wise to tell her that Faith is still alive? Poor girl seemed like she hated her."

Aiden clenched his jaw. The information Tracey gave him over the radio was too concise, he knew she had gotten it from Faith. But the sheriff didn't need to know this.

"They were close once, before the cult. Before I told her Faith was alive we spoke. She seemed like deep down she still missed the person Faith used to be. So I'm confident Tracey can be trusted."

The sheriff grunted in approval. They remained silent for a few moments and eventually the jail came into view. "So where is this 'safe place' you're keeping Faith in?"

Aiden rubbed his eyes. It seemed like now that he confessed Faith's arrest to his boss that a great weight was lifted from his shoulders and it left him feeling exhausted. The abuse his body had taken over the past two days was taking its toll and he just wanted to sleep. But they were almost to the jail. He could rest a few hours before he checked in on Faith. "I left her in a personal bunker that's not far from the jail. She was…injured in our scuffle. So she'll be unable to escape on her own. There's no means of communication from within it so she won't be able to call for help."

"Good, good," the sheriff replied. "Once things settle with the Cougars we can arrange for another place to keep her. All we have to worry about now is arresting Joseph."

Aiden pulled up into the jail parking lot. There were still other vehicles with the injured Cougars making their way into the building. And in the middle of the crowd was Tracey. Seeing her made Aiden feel nervous. He parked the truck and both he and the sheriff slowly climbed out.

Tracey and the sheriff walked into the jail together, their tones hushed as they spoke. Aiden lagged behind and helped some of the injured inside and into the room that was used as an infirmary. Every bed was occupied so some people were placed on the floor.

When there were no other rescued Cougars left to escort inside, Aiden sought out an unused wing. The mattresses in most cells weren't the cleanest, but Aiden honestly didn't mind. Sleeping outdoors for months left him willing to sleep on just about anything. He picked the closest cell and had just begun to take his boots off when he heard approaching footsteps. It looked like his power nap would be on a brief hold.

Hopefully.

Aiden looked up and found Tracey standing at the bars of his cell. The nervousness he felt earlier returned. He already knew she was with Faith. But what made him nervous was to find out if she killed the Bliss herald.

"So, rook." Tracey leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. "When you said you left her alive I wasn't expecting to find her with one leg in the grave. Literally."

Aiden frowned. "What do you mean? She was fine when I left. Well, maybe not fine fine, but she was stable."

His nerves intensified as Tracey's face fell. She dropped her arms to her sides and sighed. "We have a big problem."

* * *

A/N: So this chapter came out a lot later and shorter than I had planned. Between the need to grind for the latest expansions for both World of Warcraft and Destiny 2 I neglected writing this up. I know it's a little stale, but sometimes slow chapters are needed. I thought about skipping the conversation between Aiden and the sheriff but it felt too rushed so I ended up typing it up. Even the boring details can be important in a story. The next chapter won't take as long and things will definitely pick up as I'm sure most can see where this is going. Thank you to those that have left feedback, I really appreciate it and will get some replies out soon. As usual don't mind some of the typos and other errors, I'll get to fixing them eventually.


	9. Dilemma

Ambivalence

Chapter 9 "Dilemma"

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

A million thoughts raced through Aiden's head upon hearing Tracey's ambiguous message. Suspecting Faith's death, he couldn't help but feel a mixture of anger and guilt. He _trusted_ Tracey.

His anger must have shown on his face because Tracey's neutral expression dropped into a slight frown. "I didn't kill her if that's what you're thinking."

Relief swept through Aiden. "Then what's the problem?"

Despite Tracey's words coming out nonchalant and without inflections, her face tightened with concern. "Her wound is infected."

The deputy felt his heart drop to his stomach. He was afraid of an infection kicking in. "How bad is it?"

Tracey shrugged. "It looks bad. I've never seen a wound with red lines spreading out from it. And she's delirious from a fever."

Aiden cursed and stood up. The fatigue he felt moments ago was an afterthought now, all that mattered was that he get back to the bunker. If that infection got worse, well, Aiden didn't want to think about that.

Standing so suddenly made the room spin for a moment. Tracey noticed his slight stumble. "Whoa, where are you going, rook?"

"To check on…her." Even though they both were alone, Aiden didn't want to mention Faith by name in case anyone was eavesdropping. In a large place like the county jail that housed close to a hundred people, there was always the risk of someone eavesdropping. "Those red lines, that's a _really_ bad thing."

Concern crossed Tracey's face for a moment before her expression changed back to its usual frown. "Do you even know how to cure it?"

Aiden almost left without his shoes. Once the cold floor registered to his brain, he sat back on his cot and stuffed his aching feet back into his boots. It took all of his willpower not to just kick his boots off and throw himself back onto the thin mattress. He was still oh so tired, but he couldn't stop to rest. Not while Faith was in such a bad shape. "Not really. But I've seen what happens if it isn't fixed. She doesn't have long."

"So then what do you intend to do?"

The deputy stood up and shrugged. "I'll take her to a clinic. Surely there's one not too far from here."

Tracey scoffed. "All the clinics in Henbane have either been bought or destroyed by Faith. And even with her face all beat up, up close she can still be recognized. You'll be walking right into a death trap."

Aiden was afraid to hear that. When Nick's wife gave birth to their daughter they were only able to walk out of the clinic alive because it was secretly being run by the resistance. But that clinic was a good hour drive away. That would be with no traffic, no Peggie "checkpoints". And if Faith was indeed recognized at the clinic there was no guarantee they'd want to help her.

"I may not have a choice. If the infection gets worse she can die." Tracey grimaced and looked away. Aiden stood back up and stepped next to her. "Do you know any clinics that are still running?"

The shorter woman sighed and shook her head. "No, but you can try asking Charles. He's the one that plans things out when we have to hit a clinic for supplies. He may be planning one out soon too."

Soon would be cutting it short, and he could only hope some Cougars would be willing to go with him for a supply run now.

"Yeah," Aiden agreed. "I'll ask him now."

When he took a step out into the hallway he thought he saw a shadow turn the corner. He wanted to believe it was a trick of the light, but his stomach dropped. He was willing to bet someone was eavesdropping. He elicited another curse and continued on his way to the infirmary with Tracey in tow. If she noticed the shadow she kept it to herself.

The infirmary was a flurry of movement. Aiden scanned the array of bodies walking around the infirmary, but couldn't locate Charles himself.

"Well good luck with…everything, rook." Tracey said before she moved to join the chaos.

Aiden found the doctor in the back room where he did his own research on the Bliss. It was then that he remembered he promised to help with some sort of test run, but it since slipped his mind. He wasn't even sure he still had the sample.

The vet-turned-doctor didn't look up from the set of papers he was reading when Aiden stepped into the small room. "Hello, deputy."

Aiden blinked. "How did you know it was me?"

Charles tossed his papers onto his desk and swiveled his chair until he was facing the rookie. "Everyone else _knocks_ before they come in."

"Oh," Aiden unconsciously rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry."

The resistance doctor gestured to a second chair beside a white board littered with hand drawn chemical formula diagrams and post-it notes. "Have a seat."

As much as Aiden wanted to refuse the check-up, he figured this would be the perfect time to ask for the information he needed to treat Faith's infection in private. So he sat on the chair. "What did I do to deserve this special one on one doctor visit?"

Charles was prompt to stand and head for Aiden, a pair of latex gloves already on. "Saving a bunch of people may have had something to do with it. I also hear from some of your friends that you don't tend to rest when you really need to. How's the shoulder?" He asked as he unbandaged the injury.

"Not bad," Aiden answered. "It stings at the worst. It's mostly sore and stiff."

The standing man hummed as he began to clean the wound. "It stopped bleeding, that's good."

"Does that mean I get to live, doc?"

Charles chuckled. "Yep, looks like you're stuck with us a little longer."

The deputy hesitated a moment. He hoped he sounded as nonchalant as possible. "Any chance it'll get infected?" He couldn't help the wince when something cold rubbed on his wound. Whatever it was _hurt_. Then he recognized the acidic smell of peroxide.

"With this there shouldn't be, though it is still a possibility."

"Let's say it does get infected, what would I need to treat it?"

Charles paused for a quick moment before he reached for some clean gauze. "The wound would have to be cleaned. And antibiotics to flush out the infection."

"Antibiotics? Where would I be able to find some?" Aiden looked up and found Charles frowning at him.

"Deputy, you don't have to worry about that. Just come here, we have enough."

"Do we? I heard our supplies are low."

The doctor glanced at him as he cleaned up. "That is true, for some supplies that is. But we have a decent supply of antibiotics. We've been lucky to not really need them."

Aiden pulled down his sleeve over his fresh bandage. "But what if I'm out there and an infection kicks in and I'm far away from here. Would a clinic have the antibiotics I need?"

Charles' eyes narrowed in confusion. "Yes, any clinic will have antibiotics. That is if it hasn't been ransacked. Unfortunately most of our supplies came from the last clinic in the Henbane."

Aiden's neck nearly popped when he swiftly turned to look at the older man. "What? What happened to the other clinics in the region?"

"The Peggies took everything. I assume they stored all the supplies in Faith's Gate. With that destroyed we'll have to go to Holland or Whitetail for medical supplies. But we're okay for now." Charles pulled off his gloves and tossed them into a nearby trash bin. "What's with all these questions, deputy?"

"You know you can just call me Aiden. Or rook like everyone else."

"All right, Aiden. Is there a reason you've taken such an interest in how to treat an infected wound?"

The younger male winced and unconsciously rubbed the back of his head again, a habit he had whenever he got nervous. He knew he wasn't being conspicuous with his questions, but the headache he recently grew prevented him from getting creative with his questions. Then he realized the doctor was speaking to him.

"Huh?"

The doctor frowned. "You're all set, maybe you should get some rest. You look like you're about to pass out from exhaustion."

 _Wow_ , Aiden thought. Each time he blinked he found it more and more difficult to open them. He'd sleep on the small, hard chair he was sitting on right now if he could. But he couldn't afford to rest now, he had to find somewhere to take Faith before she died.

"There's something you aren't telling me, isn't there?"

Could the doctor be trusted? Maybe he could go with him to the bunker and treat Faith there. Or he could meet him somewhere else then take Faith back. Trying to come up with a plan was making his headache worse.

"Your questions earlier, they weren't about you, were they?"

Aiden sighed and relented. If he didn't act soon Faith was going to die. If he brought her to the jail he'd risk someone hurting or killing her. But if he kept her hidden and secret from everyone she was going to die anyway unless he magically found medical supplies and someone who knew how to use them to treat her.

"Okay," he paused to rub his eyes. And to take a moment to figure out how he was going to word his question. "So, you're a doctor. And doctors have that confidentiality thing, right?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, yes. Even if I'm not an actual licensed physician, I take that confidentiality seriously."

Aiden nodded. "Good, good. So that means you can keep a secret, right?"

Charles crossed his arms and looked at Aiden with one eyebrow raised. "Where are you going with this, deputy?"  
The younger male sighed again and changed from rubbing his eyes to his forehead to ease the ache. "All right, all right. So as the only doctor in Henbane River, let's say we had a Peggie prisoner here. And he got hurt and will die without medical attention—"

—"Yes."

Aiden paused. "What?"

"Your questions regarding how to treat an infection and a Peggie prisoner? My answer is yes, if you brought a Peggie here and they needed medical attention, I'd help them."

"You will?"

The doctor gave a small smile. "It's a doctor thing. If someone is hurt, we help them. Doesn't matter of their crimes."

Aiden was still slightly unconvinced. "Really? Even if their crimes affected you?"

"Yes, even then. Not saying I wouldn't be happy about it, but I won't condemn the person to die if I can help it."

Okay, so a lot of the stress and worry melted off of Aiden's shoulders. He could only hope Charles would be willing to come through once he found out he was actually referring to Faith. He'd still feel better if they met outside the prison. "Would you be willing to look over the Peggie outside of the jail? For their protection."

Charles looked grim. "I'm sorry to say that I wouldn't be able to leave. At least not any time soon while we have some injured people."

"Yeah, I figured as much." The deputy ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll figure something out. But…thanks, doc. And please keep this between us?"

"Patient-doctor confidentiality."

With a deep, slow exhale, Aiden jumped to his feet. If he were to bring Faith he'd have to talk to the sheriff. He only hoped they could keep her presence secret in an abandoned part of the jail or something. Once she recovered he could move her back to the bunker. He felt better with a plan so he set out to find the sheriff. Thankfully it didn't take him long to find his boss, he was roaming about the western wing which was used as the living quarters for the Cougars.

The sheriff stood in the back of the ground floor, a small group of people around him. He noticed Jess leaning against the wall closest to the entrance, her arms crossed over her chest. She nodded to him as he passed but said nothing. Despite her face mostly covered in shadow from her drawn up hood, Aiden immediately noticed the hard look in her eyes.

The conversation the sheriff had with the few people ended shortly after Aiden neared the group.

"Deputy," the sheriff beamed and slapped his back.

The impact triggered a slight burn from his injured shoulder, but nothing bad enough to make him do so much as grimace. "Could we talk?"

The sheriff nodded and led him outside. There weren't too many people outside of the jail other than those on patrol on the wall, so they had privacy to talk.

"So there might be a change of plans regarding you-know-who," Aiden whispered. His eyes scanned around for anyone passing by.

The sheriff looked confused for a moment, his bushy brows pinched together. Then his mouth formed a small O as he quickly realized whom he was referring to. "What's the new plan?"

Aiden took a deep breath before he updated the sheriff on everything. Faith's infection, the lack of clinics in the region, and the importance of getting her medical attention as quickly as possible.

"And it won't do to take her outside of the region where she may not be so quickly recognized," the sheriff asked.

"Traveling out of here will consume a lot of time, and then there are always Peggie checkpoints and patrols. And what if the clinics elsewhere are out of commission? I can't risk taking so much time when it's faster and easier to just bring her here."

The sheriff sighed. "All right. But the less people that are aware of her presence the better. I'll arrange a place for her. Make sure she isn't so easily recognizable when you bring her."

Aiden nodded.

"We can use the eastern wing," the sheriff continued. "Other than you, no one really uses it."

A yawn escaped the deputy. He was fading fast. It was best if he left now before exhaustion overtook him. "I'll radio in when I get here. And could you get my friends together? I trust them to help us keep an eye on her."

Well in truth he trusted most of his friends. He was confident the only one that would be downright against Faith being alive would be Jess, but she would respect his request to leave her alone. They went through a lot together during his time in the Whitetail Mountains.

Aiden wasted no more time in returning to the jail's parking lot, climbed into the truck he and the sheriff drove (thankfully he still had the keys in his pocket), and left to the bunker.

Despite driving away from the general location of Faith's Gate, he could faintly see the black smoke that continued to float up into the sky. Some sense of relief slowly seeped into him. This nightmare was almost over. All he had to do was locate Joseph and apprehend him. He knew it was too much to hope he would go willingly with him again, but he doubted he would have that kind of luck again.

His thoughts on the future of Hope County was enough to distract him and keep him awake. Maybe he should have brought someone just so he had someone to talk to, that would really help him stay awake. But he arrived to the bunker with no problems on the road, the yard and shed looked undisturbed, including the bee hive.

Worry churned in Aiden's stomach as he descended the stairs, he was afraid he arrived too late. The bunker looked very much the same way it had when he left. Faith was on the bed, unmoving. As he stepped closer to her he could see her cheeks were flushed, drops of sweat collected on her brow. If it weren't for the slightly rapid rise and fall of her chest, he would be unsure if she was alive.

"Faith?" He nudged her shoulder. After a long moment her eyelids fluttered before they opened to show haze filled blue eyes. But there was an emptiness in her eyes as she stared at him.

Her mouth opened but her words were soft, slurred and worse they didn't make sense. She'd mutter an apology one moment, beg and plead the next and other times she mentioned a few chemicals. Tracey was correct about her delirium. It seemed to be a struggle for her to speak and eventually she fell into a dry coughing fit.

He noticed a few bottles of water on her bed and reached for one. Faith panicked when he lifted her up into a sitting position, but she calmed once he pressed a bottle to her lips and tilted it. Once she tasted the water she was hungrily gulping it down until she sputtered.

Her shirt was soaked and her cheeks were flushed from the fever. Still, he couldn't have her be recognized in any shape or form when he returned to the jail. So he quickly searched the bunker for some clothes and settled on a pair of sweat pants and a thin hoodie.

Before he put the new clothes on her he eyed the first aid kit and changed her bandage. Seeing the wound swollen and red lines spilling from it brought chills to his skin, but it also helped motivate him to move faster. Once he wrapped the fresh bandage up he quickly, and carefully, pulled the pants on her to hide her legs. Even if she was no longer wearing the white dress he didn't want her to resemble her infamous image whatsoever. He couldn't find any shoes so he settled with covering her bare feet with black socks. Then he put the hoodie on her and brought the hood up to cover her hair.

Satisfied with her hidden appearance, Aiden hoisted her up on his non-injured shoulder. It would be easier to climb the ladder but the most uncomfortable with his injured arm supporting both of their weight. He _really_ regretted not bringing someone with him.

They reached the top of the ladder miraculously with no issues. Aiden feared he made Faith's fever worse with the clothes he smothered her in so he drove back to the jail with the air conditioner on full blast. When the jail came into view he radioed the sheriff. He was grateful not too many people were around to see him walk into the jail with a woman in his arms. Faith continued to quietly mutter nonsense.

The sheriff met him near the gate and led him around to one of the side entrances. There were less people in the area, but still there were some around to see him with a mysterious person in his arms. None asked anything, but they did try to get a look at Faith. Despite the hood covering her hair, her face was mostly unrecognizable with the swelling and bruises.

Aiden took Faith into a cell opposite the one he claimed for himself in the abandoned eastern wing. He had just set her onto the bed when he heard footsteps. Thinking it was either the sheriff or the doctor, Aiden unzipped and removed Faith's hoodie.

The footsteps behind him halted.

"You _didn't_ kill her."

The voice didn't belong to the sheriff or the doctor. Aiden wanted to groan. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Jess' anger right now. He turned and came face to face with the huntress. Then it dawned on him, was it her shadow that he saw in the hallway?

Jess pulled off her bow from her shoulder, but Aiden was faster than her other hand and stopped her from pulling an arrow free from its quiver.

"What the _hell_ , Aiden?!"

The deputy didn't have a moment to respond, both the sheriff and the doctor stepped in.

"Listen," the sheriff said quickly. He jerked his chin towards the hallway behind him. "I called up the rest of your friends. I'll leave you to explain everything while I make sure no curious eyes try to sneak a peak at our new guest."

Charles didn't say anything, he held a box and stepped into Faith's cell.

Aiden's attention returned to Jess when she yanked herself out from his grip, but she didn't pull out an arrow. "Yeah, you have _a lot_ of explaining to do." She returned her bow back over her shoulder before she glared at Faith's direction.

The headache returned full force. Aiden pinched the bridge of his nose while he waited for the rest of his allies to file into the room. Save for Jess, they all sported confused expressions.

Aiden hadn't been expecting to see Tracey join them, but she did.

"Show time," Aiden muttered to himself. So he confessed to everyone about how he kept Faith alive. For the most part he was relieved to see that no one seemed bothered by the news, other than Jess of course.

It was Tracey that spoke after he finished speaking. "So what happens now that she's here?"

Aiden glanced at the cell the person in question occupied. She looked to be unconscious while the doctor checked over her leg.

"Once she's better I'll transport her somewhere else until I can arrest Joseph Seed." He looked back towards his friends. "While she's here I'll need your help in keeping her identity secret. No one outside of this room can learn who she really is."

"Yeah," Jess interjected, "everyone is just gonna _love_ to hear the bitch that attacked this place is right under their roof."

"Jess…" Aiden turned to her. He didn't have a chance to plead with her before Charles called him over.

The deputy stepped into the cell. One look at the doctors face and he felt his headache begin to throb. He recognized a person's face when they had bad news to deliver.

Aiden sighed. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"Her infection has already spread. That means the antibiotics that we have are useless."

The deputy's chest tightened in worry. "What? Why?"

"To put it simply, the antibiotics that we have are tablets. She needs intravenous antibiotics, which we don't have."

Aiden closed his eyes and cursed. "I thought you said we had enough supplies."

The doctor shook his head, but it was Tracey that spoke over him. "When you left we had some of our people retreat back here. The Father got wind about Faith's 'death.' He's pissed and he wants blood. One of our outposts was attacked. The few survivors showed up while you were gone."

The doctor nodded. "Of course there were a lot of injuries. Most of our supplies were exhausted."

Aiden quickly scrambled for a backup plan. He rubbed the back of his head and paced about the small cell. "Then I'll go to Fall's End. I can get more medicine and return. How long does she have?"

Charles opened his mouth to respond, but he hesitated. Then another voice spoke up, weak and slurred. Both men looked towards the woman on the small cot.

"Rad—radon Spa."

Aiden almost dismissed her words, but he noticed the sharp look in Charles' eyes.

"What did she say," Tracey asked.

"—Don Spa," Faith mumbled. Her eyelids cracked open just a tiny fraction for a quick moment before they closed again. "Supp…supplies."

"Forget it," Tracey announced. "She's been spewing nonsense."

"No, I know that place." Aiden glanced towards the doctor. "I remember one of our groups found out the cult used Bright Warden Radon Spa to store supplies. It's not far from here."

Hope warmed Aiden's chest. He glanced back at Faith. Her eyes were closed, sweat drops soaked her face, but she kept muttering Radon Spa and medicine.

"That place is filled with Bliss," Tracey warned.

"Po—power," Faith whispered. "Traps. Angels."

"Lovely," Jess' upper lip curled as she looked over the injured woman in contempt. "The bitch is probably trying to lead us right into a trap."

Aiden shook his head. "If the place is known for storing supplies then I'll take the risk and check it out." His body began to complain with the prospect of being on the move again. If Angels were involved then he'd have to make a side trip to the armory before he left. "Adelaide, Grace, you both take first watch. This place has two entrances, each of you take one entrance and make sure no one tries to get in. Switch out every two hours. Jess, you're coming with me."

There was conflict in the huntress' face. She was no doubt glad to be going out for some action, but she probably wanted to kill Faith more. He didn't leave her any time to complain about his orders.

"We leave now."

* * *

A/N: Now that we've arrived at the jail the fun begins. Well, maybe not fun for a certain someone. But yes the juicy stuff will commence. For those that left their comments and thoughts thank you for your feedback as always, and of course for your patience, I know this one came out a bit late again.


	10. Spelunking

Ambivalence

Chapter 10: Spelunking

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Even though Jess was conflicted about going with Aiden, she at least kept up with him They stocked up on weapons and ammunition before they left, and Aiden made a quick trip to the mess hall to inhale a few cups of coffee. He made Jess drive, she knew the location of their destination and he was hoping to take a power nap. Unfortunately, Jess had no intention of letting him sleep with the numerous questions she had for him.

They had just gotten into the pickup truck when she glared at him. "So why in the hell did you spare Joseph's whore?"

Aiden took a moment to rub the bridge of his nose. The pressure that built right between his eyes was starting to become unbearable. He just wanted to sleep for a few minutes. But he knew not to make Jess angrier by remaining silent.

"There was no reason to kill her," Aiden began to explain, but Jess was quick to immediately cut him off.

"Of course there's a reason to kill her! Just being a Peggie is a good enough reason. Not to mention she's one of the important ones," Jess countered.

Aiden shook his head. "This is different, Jess."

"How is this different? Because she's a woman? If you tell me you think she's hot I'm gonna punch you. Hard."

A heavy sigh escaped the deputy. "I don't know if I should feel offended that you think so lowly of me."

Jess continued to glare at him.

Another sigh. "For one thing, I've only killed to survive. We _both_ have. And when I confronted Faith I was in no danger. She didn't have a weapon, she didn't have backup."

Jess had just started up the pickup, but she paused to cast Aiden a brief confused expression. "Well she doesn't need any of that with the Bliss. She could have turned you into a zombie, or Angel, whatever the hell she calls them."

"Exactly, she _could_ have. But she chose not to. And I was able to fight off the effects of the Bliss. So without that she was no threat to me. I couldn't just kill her."

Although in reality he could have left her for dead. But he couldn't. Not when she reached for him and looked so hurt when he pulled away from her grasp. He felt Faith and Rachel were in conflict with each other, and it was Rachel that was reaching out for him. Rachel that accepted her fate for everything she did for the sake of acceptance. He chose to save Rachel, not Faith. But Jess didn't need to know that small detail. No one, in fact, had to know.

Jess was quiet for a moment while she drove them out of the jail's parking lot and onto the road.

Aiden chose to continue speaking. While he and Jess fought and hunted together quite frequently in the past few months, she had been absent in his confrontations with the other Seed brothers, Jacob and John.

"When I faced Jacob it was…frightening. He practically had an entire army on me. A dozen men and wolves hunted me down while he was perched up on a hill with a sniper rifle. I did try to arrest him, but with all of the chaos it came down to kill or be killed." Aiden unconsciously rubbed at his chest, right over his Wrath tattoo. "And John, well it came down to an aerial standoff. John's plane went down and I tracked him down. I did try to arrest him until he pulled a gun on me and in panic I shot and killed him."

Jess' face was pulled into its usual frown, but she listened. When he finished talking she nodded with grunt. "Yeah, Nick told me about what went down with John. But you didn't tell me about Jacob."

Aiden looked out his passenger window. "I try to forget a lot of what happened in Whitetail. And there wasn't really a need to talk about what happened."

"I still don't buy that Faith didn't try to kill you. She probably _wanted_ you to think she wouldn't kill you."

Aiden shook his head. "Let me tell you something that I haven't told anyone else."

Jess shrugged. "All right."

"After I arrested Faith we ran into some Peggies. They took me to one of their outposts. She could have killed me, she could have tortured me. There was a lot of things she could have done to me. Instead, she kept me alive. Kept me comfortable, too. Sure she had questions for me, but she didn't force the information out of me. She's very different from her brothers."

"So that's why you chose not to kill her? Because she's not a psychopathic killer like the rest of her brothers?"

"Yes. And that's the thing, Jess. You call the Seed brothers killers. Why? Because they've killed innocent people, right?"

Jess shook her head. "Faith ain't innocent. A lot of people have died because of her."

"That's true," Aiden agreed. "But at that moment when it was just me and her. She had no intention of killing me. So if I were to just kill her simply because she's on the other team, isn't that being a hypocrite? I'd be no different than the Seeds and their followers for killing people that don't want to join them."

He looked over at Jess and found her frown deepening. "It's still not the same," she argued.

"Look," Aiden leaned back and rested his head against the car seat, "Faith is still under arrest. It's not like she gets to walk home free after all of this is done. She will see jail time. She will pay for everything that she's done."

"What, you don't think she'll get life or the needle?"

"Now I'm just a simple deputy, Jess." He waited until she glanced at him and he winked at her. "I arrest people that break the law. It's above my pay grade to know how long exactly people will be incarcerated depending on their crimes."

"You mean you're a basic bitch," Jess grinned for a moment, but then she shook her head and her expression became serious again. "After everything she's done? A U.S. Marshal died because of her. That bitch is not going to see the light of day again."

"That's the thing I'm not so sure about. Faith didn't directly kill people. Which is why I say she'll get jail time, that's for sure, but how long exactly I don't know."

"You know that she isn't a real Seed. She's a local. So when all this is over and done with and if she does walk free one day she better not show her face in Hope County."

"I know. That's also the reason why _no one_ can find out she's at the jail." Aiden kept his gaze on Jess until she turned and looked at him. "I'm asking you as a friend to _please_ keep Faith's survival between us."

Jess looked conflicted as she pulled her eyes back onto the road. "And if I don't?"

"She's my prisoner, my responsibility. I'd hope you don't put me in a position to arrest others for trying to take justice into their own hands. There's a fine line between being a vigilante and self-defense."

The hooded woman shook her head in response. "Fine, I won't try to _kill_ the flower bitch. For now. But I'm calling it now, you _will_ regret letting her live. And when that time comes I'm shoving an arrow through her throat."

This was as close to a truce he and Jess would get. "I wouldn't expect anything different."

They rode on in a comfortable silence. The short conversation and the caffeine from earlier helped awaken Aiden a bit. Still, he wanted to close his eyes just for a few minutes. He leaned back on his seat again and had just let his eyelids shut.

"I really don't get you, Aiden."

He kept his eyes closed. "What do you mean?"

"You must be the only cop that actually cares for the well being of a prisoner."

Aiden opened his eyes at that. "That's not true. I worked at a prison before I became a deputy. Not in Hope County of course, in another state. I'm not the only one that remembers that prisoners are still people."

Jess scoffed at that. "Yeah, people that hurt others. They don't deserve any mercy."

"Not everyone are sociopathic. You'd be surprised of how many people just…fall into the wrong crowd. I met a lot of decent folks. They became desperate for money, some did things just to be accepted by friends or even family. You sold drugs to help out your folks, which is illegal. If you were caught and imprisoned, would you say you didn't deserve to be treated like a person?"

Jess looked like she wanted to argue. After a silent moment she finally replied with, "I sold drugs, I wasn't hurting anyone."

"And not everyone reacts to drugs the same way. Some become violent and hurt people. So you were indirectly helping someone get hurt."

"Damnit, Aiden!" Jess slammed a fist down onto the steering wheel. "Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"

He chuckled in response. "You sound like my father. He had a very black and white perspective when it came to the law. He believed you either obeyed the laws or you didn't. If you didn't, you were lower than dirt. So we often argued about this very subject."

One of Jess' eyebrows arched upward and she peeked over at him before returning her eyes in front of her. "Your father was a cop?"  
"He's retired now, but yeah he was a sheriff. It's why I'm here. He pulled some strings. Personally I wanted to pursue a different career."

"Really?" Jess glanced at him again. "I can't really picture you as anything else other than a rookie deputy."

Aiden laughed. "Yeah. I always had an interest in what made people tick, you know? Why people did the things they did."

"What like a shrink?"

"Something like that, yeah. And when I worked at that prison it made me all the more interested in the human mind. A lot of those prisoners they were just trying to survive. They weren't vindictive or cruel, they just wanted to survive. And…I think that's the same case with Faith. To survive she joined the Peggies."

Jess shook her head. "Sure. She was just trying to survive when she made the Bliss. The Peggies use that shit to brainwash people. Where's the survival in that?"

Aiden inhaled deeply. He had often wondered the same thing. "It started as survival to submit to Joseph Seed. After that, I think she just wanted to be belong, be accepted. Unfortunately to do that she literally had to become someone else. And do horrible things. I'm not trying to come up with excuses for her, I'm just trying to point out she isn't the heartless monster the Cougars make her out to be."

"Whatever," Jess sighed. "Still too complicated. I'll stick to keeping an eye on her."

"That's fine with me," Aiden replied. "Thank you though."

Jess waved a hand lazily at him. The truck slowed, Aiden turned to look out the window and watched as they pulled up in front of a small shed. After Jess killed the engine he stepped out of the truck with his new shotgun in hand. Faith said there would be Angels. They were fast and very durable, the best weapon to take them out was with any type of shotgun.

"There's the mine," Jess pointed just to the right of the shed.

The entrance was a lot smaller than Aiden imagined. From their distance he could already make out a green mist seeping at the foot of the entrance. "This won't be easy."

"No shit," Jess responded. She still preferred to use her bow, but she was thankfully effective with it against Angels. "It looks small on the outside, but Charles mentioned it has a few tunnels that run pretty deep."

"Yeah, and I bet you ten bucks that the generator that turns on the power to get into the supply room is at the very end."

"Ten bucks? You still owe me from the last bet!"

Aiden grinned as they both walked towards the health mine. "It's been a busy few weeks. Whenever we're back in Falls End I'll be sure to get you those drinks."

In truth he had forgotten about their bet. A few weeks ago, when Aiden was new to the Henbane River region, he and Jess hunted down a small group of particularly nasty Peggies that took to guerrilla tactics against the Cougars. When they found their camp Jess bet him a few drinks that she could take out a Peggie with an arrow to the head at the same distance as he could with a sniper rifle. Confident in his own shooting skills, Aiden took Jess up on the bet and lost. To add insult to injury she added a few more drinks to his tab when she saved him from a stray Peggie that snuck up behind him.

"So what's the plan?" Jess asked.

Aiden pulled out a small flashlight from his belt and stepped into the mine. Immediately to his right there was a large metallic door that practically resembled a vault. There was no doorknob, no window. Even though he knew it was locked he couldn't help but push against it.

The door didn't budge.

To the right was a tunnel that led further into the mine. The Bliss looked to remain at ground level, but each step Aiden took sent the Bliss upwards. He didn't spot any Angels. Didn't hear them either, but that didn't mean they weren't nearby. He learned the hard way they could be extremely quiet until they became violent.

"It's clear so far," he whispered towards Jess. "Avoid lifting your feet. Kinda drag your steps. The Bliss lifts up when we disturb it. It shouldn't affect us too much so long as we don't inhale it."

"Flower bitch said there were traps. I wouldn't doubt if there are pits about, can't see the ground for shit with all of this Bliss," Jess warned.

Aiden had been so focused on keeping his steps slow and looking out for Angels that he didn't expect for the ground to just end on his next step. He failed to keep his balance and promptly fell a few feet. His vision plunged into darkness and a hard surface pressed against his injured shoulder. He cried out from the sudden impact and realized that his flashlight and shotgun were absent from his grip.

Jess cursed. "Aiden!"

"I'm okay," he muttered. He tried to avoid breathing all of the Bliss that swirled about him by holding his breath, but his lungs were already hurting and begging for more oxygen. He climbed to his feet and cursed when a sharp pain bloomed in left ankle. He took another deep breath and could already begin to feel light headed from the Bliss. The light illuminating from his flashlight helped lead him to his lost items. A quick scan of the pit he fell in revealed a cannister of leaking Bliss, but thankfully there was no Angel lurking about.

By the time Aiden climbed out of the pit he was seeing small lights dancing about the edge of his vision. He couldn't afford to inhale anymore Bliss. He grasped for the edge of tunnel and tried to focus on the feeling of the rough rock wall against his fingertips. Jess grabbed his arm as he climbed out so he also tried to focus on the power of her grip, tried to focus on the smell of her. For all the hunting Jess did she had a natural earthy smell. It wasn't a bad smell, it was just Jess. Focusing on his actual surroundings helped keep the Bliss out of his senses.

For now.

"I'm okay," Aiden repeated to reassure Jess. The tunnel was so dark he couldn't see her expressions unless he directly aimed his flashlight at her.

"How wide was that drop?" She asked him.

"I'm not sure. There was a cannister of Bliss down there. I didn't want to stay long."

"Hold up." Her grip on his arm slipped away and he could vaguely see her silhouette bend at the mouth of the pit. "It's not wide. Just take a big step over it."

They were lucky that the tunnel didn't split. They continued to walk slowly and carefully. The pain in Aiden's ankle wasn't too bad, it was most likely just a sprain. Still, it was hard for him to walk without hopping and disturbing the Bliss.

He stopped when he suddenly heard a feminine giggle.

"Welcome to the Bliss."

Aiden turned and found a squinting Jess glaring at him. "Would you get that light outta my face?"

Aiden lowered the light and looked around the tunnel. He noticed a door, but it led into a small, empty room. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

The deputy shook his head. Maybe it was the Bliss already messing with his senses. He shifted his weight onto his ankle and focused on the pain of the sprain. "Nothing."

They continued on and still hadn't come across any Angels. But the ground was definitely getting crowded. Often times they both almost tripped over rocks, barrels and other things that Aiden didn't really want to think about. The Bliss had no smell so there was nothing to mask the smell of unwashed bodies. There were definitely Angels somewhere and they were alive due to the lack of the smell of decay.

The tunnel curved and that was when Aiden spotted a humanoid shadow sprint just out of sight. He quickly lifted up his shotgun, his movement spooked Jess into lifting her bow and ready to shoot.

"What is it," she asked him.

"I saw something."

They both waited a few moments, but nothing else moved. They continued following the tunnel and eventually came into a huge chamber. There seemed to be a rock path that went just above the green mist of the Bliss at the very bottom of the ground. The end of the chamber led into another tunnel, but much smaller and more narrow than the previous one they came from.

Once inside the smaller tunnel, Aiden saw the shadow again. He knew it wasn't Jess, she was just behind him. He readied his shotgun and continued after the shadow with a little faster pace that his injured ankle would allow.

The tunnel didn't stretch out too far, they were quick to reach the end. Then Aiden noticed the shadow standing right before him. He knew he had to be hallucinating, the shadow shouldn't even be there with the flashlight pointed right at it. But the longer he focused on the shadow the more he recognized the shape of it. The shadow strongly resembled Faith, dress and all. He reached to touch the shadow, but then it vanished.

Aiden blinked and looked about the area. He was standing in front of what looked like some sort of large ventilation. Next to it was a generator.

"Finally," Jess muttered behind him. "This Bliss was starting to get to me."

The deputy grunted in agreeance and promptly activated the generator. The ventilation shaft whirred to life and sucked in the Bliss. Both Aiden and Jess winced when lights suddenly illuminated the tunnel.

"Well, let's go see if the flower bitch was telling the truth about those supplies," Jess said.

The mine was well lit and without the Bliss hugging the ground they could see the mess of rocks, trash, and barrels that littered the ground every few feet. On their way back Jess took the lead. They returned to the chamber and had to climb back down to the ground level to get to the other tunnel. Jess had just jumped down when Aiden heard a growl. He wanted to dismiss it as the Bliss that was probably still in his system, but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him to get his shotgun ready.

There was movement from the ground where some Bliss still lingered, and Jess was suddenly yanked off her feet and pulled into the Bliss mist.

Aiden cursed, "Jess!"

He heard her cry of surprise and then the growl he heard earlier turned into a scream of anger. The adrenaline and worry for Jess snuffed out the pain in his ankle and he was quick to jump down onto the ground level. He could see a struggle of movement disrupting the Bliss just below the rock walkway, but he couldn't shoot unless he knew for sure he wouldn't hit Jess.

As quick as the screaming started, it suddenly turned into a wet gargle and then ceased.

"Get this shit off me!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Aiden noticed more movement and reached into the Bliss. Once he felt a set of shoulders he wrapped his arms under them and lifted. He pulled up a now dead body of an Angel with an arrow stuck into its eye. He tossed the body aside and reached under the Bliss again. A smaller hand gripped his own and he pulled, this time it was Jess that rose up. Her hood was down, her hair disheveled, and a mess of scratches littered her face and neck. Thanks to the lights in the chamber, he quickly noticed her wide pupils. They were much bigger than they should considering the brightness of the lights. She inhaled too much Bliss.

Aiden barely had time to curse before the look of fear registered on Jess' face. She pulled away from him and looked conflicted for a brief moment. Then she pulled up her bow. Swearing again, Aiden reached for her free hand and held it from reaching for her quiver. Jess swore and swung her bow at him. He managed to dodge most of it, but the edge of the metal caught him on a rib.

"Damnit, Jess, it's me!"

The frenzied woman didn't respond. She continued to swear at him and tried to pull an arrow free again. In their struggle they almost fell down into the Bliss, but Aiden pulled Jess against him and twisted his legs so they both fell on top of the rock path, safe away from the hallucinogen. The last thing they both needed was for him to fully fall under the effects of the Bliss as well.

Aiden hit the ground, his breath was forcibly pushed out of his lungs when Jess fell on him. His heart jumped up to his throat when he noticed the gleam of the knife in her hand. She swung the blade down and he just managed to grab her wrist before the blade got too close to his chest. There was a brief moment of pain in his right hand and he felt a rush of a warm liquid in his palm.

Jess was quick to realize she couldn't beat him with raw strength. She lifted herself slightly and kneed him in the ribs. The blow caused his grip on her wrists to falter, but then he felt her knee strike him again that finally made him let go of her. She swung the knife down at him again, but instead of grabbing for her he rolled out of its path, which threw her fully off of him.

Their struggle attracted more Angels from the tunnel, three in total. Aiden quickly searched for his shotgun and found it several feet away. Two Angels rushed for Jess and only one pursued him. Jess didn't have her bow and being under the influence of the Bliss he wasn't sure if she could even notice them. He rushed for his shotgun and quickly shot the one pursuing him. His heart dropped when he heard Jess cry out, he looked and found her knife in hand and sliding it across one Angel's throat. The other one tackled her to the ground and lifted his arms. Aiden noticed much too late that the Angel held a rock in his hands when he brought it down onto Jess' chest.

Aiden sprinted for a closer shot, he didn't want to risk one of the buck shots striking Jess. When he got close enough he kicked the Angel back. When he landed on his back Aiden aimed his shotgun at him and pulled the trigger. The battle wasn't over, he heard Jess cry out in rage and felt himself being shoved against the wall. He couldn't fully halt his momentum and felt a flash of pain as his temple struck the rocky wall.

He didn't want to hurt Jess, but the longer he held back the sooner she'd kill him. He turned and saw her with her bow already in hand, his heart dropped, but thankfully the Bliss had her seeing enemies that weren't there. She nocked an arrow and aimed away from him and fired, the arrow harmlessly bounced off the wall.

The deputy quickly took advantage of her distraction and ran up behind her. Before she could turn to face him he swung the butt of his shotgun and struck her jaw. He had hoped to stun her, but the stress and adrenaline of their situation had him use too much of his strength and she was knocked unconscious.

Aiden swore. Jess was going to kill him.

For now, he had to bind her hands in case she woke up and was still under the influence of the Bliss. He didn't have to search long, with the lights on he spotted a small scaffold against one of the walls and there was plenty of rope on the top level. It was rough with age, but still thick and sturdy. He used Jess' knife to cut a portion of the rope and tied her wrists together. It was then that he finally noticed his right hand was bloodied, a large gash opened the center of his palm.

Thankfully he remembered to pack up some bandages and wrapped his hand sloppily. With a heavy sigh, he inserted a few shells into his shotgun before he lifted Jess onto his shoulder. Due to her short, skinny frame she was light, but the abuse his body has taken over the course of the last few days drained him of most of his strength. He was already sweating by the time he walked into the tunnel.

It was awkward to hold his shotgun properly with Jess' body draped over his shoulder, but with her head resting against his back he didn't have to worry about harming her hearing each time he fired his shotgun at the rest of the Angels that lingered in the tunnel.

When he returned to the mine's entrance he wanted to cry out in relief and collapse on the grass. Instead, he limped towards the truck. The adrenaline long since faded away and each step on his injured ankle brought a wave of hot agony. Thankfully Jess was still unconscious so he set her gently into the passenger seat before he limped back to the mine.

Now that the power was on, there was a green light next to the metal door. A gentle push was all that was needed to open the door. The room was much smaller than what Aiden was expecting, but there were still a lot of metallic shelves against three walls and a lot of boxes of what Aiden was hoping was the medicine that Faith and the Cougars would need.

It took him a few minutes to pack every box and crate to the truck and Jess was still unconscious when he finished. By everything that was holy in the universe Aiden sorely wished he could finally rest when he returned to the jail.

He was on the road a few minutes when a weak groan signaled Jess coming to.

"What the hell?"

To be safe, Aiden slowed down and pulled the truck over the side of the road. If Jess still wasn't herself he didn't want to be driving if she tried to attack him. The road wasn't too far away from the river and he didn't want to lose the supplies they both struggled so hard to acquire.

Jess' slim fingers immediately went to her now bruising jaw and she winced at the soft touch.

"My head," she whispered.

"Jess?"

She winced at the sound of his voice before she looked at him. Aiden exhaled in relief upon seeing her pupils at a normal size. "You really scared me back there."  
"What?" She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seat. "What happened? Where's my bow?"

"Right here," he grabbed her hand and brought it over her beloved compound bow that he placed next to her legs. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Jess groaned again. "We turned on the generator. The Bliss was cleared out and the power turned on the lights. Then," she paused and she quickly sat up and looked at him. Her eyes hardened as she looked him over.

"What?" Aiden asked.

The woman continued to study him for a moment longer and then she looked about the truck. "Where is he?"

"Where is who?"

Jess let out a string of curses. "Nathan! It was him, the one that pulled me."

"Oh, the Angel that grabbed you? He's dead."

It was quick, but Jess' hard eyes softened in sorrow. As quickly as it came, her eyes hardened and she cursed again. She probably would have punched something if her jaw didn't ignite in pain. She winced and rubbed her jaw. "Did I kill him?"

"No," Aiden assured her, "I did. A quick death."

She remained silent, but her head bobbed in a quick nod.

"Did you know him?"

Jess looked away. "Yeah. We grew up together. He was…he was a smart little shit. College type, you know?" She paused and sighed. "But he wanted to stay here a few years, work to help out his family. His grandmother raised him and his little sister. He was finally leaving for college when shit started going down with the cult. I thought he made it out, but…I guess not."

Aiden was at a loss of what to say. He couldn't imagine having to see any of his friends as an Angel. It would break him. He jumped at the sudden sound of something striking glass. Jess swore as she cradled her right hand to her chest, the passenger window next to her was cracked.

Due to Jess refusing comfort in the past, Aiden was hesitant to say or do anything. They just sat in silence. Then Jess looked at him.

"I thought," she paused and licked her lips. "I saw you as one of them, an Angel. It…I _never_ want to see that."

Aiden was stunned. But he could still see the sadness in her eyes. He reached for her shoulder and rested his hand on it. He half expected her to stiffen as the contact, but she didn't. Instead, he could feel her body tremble. He always had a great deal of respect for her. She went through a lot but always hid behind a stoic mask. Sure she channeled everything into anger and hate for the Peggies, but she still stood strong.

He gave her shoulder a squeeze before he pulled away and turned back to the wheel, he started the truck back up and drove back onto the road. They were silent for the rest of the trip back to the jail. Charles or the sheriff must have spread the news that he and Jess would return with supplies because there was a small group of people that were quick to help them unload the truck when they arrived.

There were a lot more people at the jail than he ever remembered seeing. But then he remembered Tracey saying one of their outposts was attacked and they had a few survivors retreat to the jail, but there were way too many people lurking about. His pulse quickened and his stomach twisted in worry when he saw that there were numerous people in the once abandoned East wing. He and Jess looked at each other in shock and confusion before Grace approached them.

"Where did all these people come from?" Aiden asked. He looked at the cell that Faith occupied but found a different set of people occupied it.

"More outposts were attacked, the hotel was one of them which held the bulk of these people," Grace explained. She motioned for Jess and Aiden to follow her. "They came without warning. We moved her to the top level as quickly as we could. Thankfully with the commotion no one seemed to have noticed anything. So we've been keeping people from going to the top floor."

Aiden swore. Things just kept getting worse and worse. "Were many people injured?"

Grace nodded. "Yes. The doctor has been tending to them the best he could. Did you find the supplies?"

"Yes," Aiden answered, "she told the truth. The mine held boxes upon boxes of all sorts of medical supplies, medicine, bandages, everything."

Grace smiled. "Good. There are a lot of people that need them."

Aiden nodded and looked around. He could only imagine how many returned with injuries. But Charles was their only doctor. How long would it take him to treat Faith? He didn't doubt that Charles would prioritize the Cougars before Faith, so he was worried if she could last long enough before her infection got worse.

"Where is the doctor?"

Grace looked up towards the top floor. "You just missed him. He went up to her cell. If you'll excuse me. But you both look like you could have the doctor check over you as well. And I hope to hear the story of what happened in that mine."

Aiden exhaled deeply in relief. Just when he thought things were turning for the worst there was still that small spark of hope. "Thanks, Grace. We'll go over the details over pizza later. If we'll have any left."

The veteran offered a small smile before she nodded and left, leaving Aiden and Jess among a cluster of strangers.

Sure enough the top floor was empty and guarded by Nick. One of his eyebrows lifted upon seeing their appearance, but he stepped aside and let them pass without a word. With each step Aiden felt like his head got heavier and heavier. If he didn't sleep soon he feared he would pass out.

They quickly found Charles tending to Faith in one of the cells. He had just placed a clear bag on a metallic stand next to Faith, the Bliss Herald was silent and unconscious.

Charles started to smile at their appearance, but then he grew concerned.

"Did you find what you needed? There were a lot of boxes to go through," Aiden asked.

The older male nodded. "The supplies you brought were everything that we needed and more. Thank you." He nodded towards Faith. "Her wound has been kept clean and now with the antibiotics she should recover in time. I have new patients to tend to, so I'll stop by when I can. Don't expect her to waken any time soon. Her fever should break soon enough, until then try to keep her cool." His eyes remained on Jess' jaw. "Do you want me to…"

Aiden answered before Jess could refuse the help. "Yeah, if you could check if she has a concussion, that'd be great. We had some problems with the Bliss and I kinda had to knock her out."

Jess swore at him. " _You_ did this?!" Before Aiden could explain he felt Jess' fist connect to his gut. He doubled over and struggled to suck oxygen back into his starving lungs.

After a moment, Aiden recovered and straightened. "It was for the sake of survival, Jess." He looked back to the doctor and could see humor twinkling in his eyes. "She was unconscious for a few minutes."

"I'll kill you! Do you have any idea how much this hurts?"

Charles struggled to keep a straight face, but the corner of his mouth curled up into a small smile every now and then. He ushered Jess out of the cell. "Let me have a look, and thanks to you I have something for the pain."

Finally, alone, Aiden looked over Faith. Her cheeks were still flushed and her skin shiny with sweat. The doctor advised to keep her cool, so while he was still barely conscious Aiden found a clean towel next to the small sink that connected to the toilet in the cell and soaked it in cold water. He wiped off the sweat from Faith's face before he folded the towel and placed it on her forehead. He had no idea how else to keep a fevered person cool, so he did the only thing he could think of. It was something his mother did when he was sick with a fever when he was a kid.

Aiden was much too tired to even walk into one of the neighbor cells. So he all but threw himself on the cot opposite of Faith, and immediately slept before his head touched the thin mattress. He didn't even bother to take off his boots.

He'd sleep first and then he could worry about all the problems that would come of more people being in the same wing as Faith. Word traveled fast and it would only take one person to recognize her.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! I know some people are looking forward to more interactions between Faith and Aiden. Patience, that will come soon. Very soon. Some things have to be put into place first. For those that leave feedback anonymously, since I can't reply privately I'll say here: thank you for your thoughts.


	11. Expectations

Ambivalence

Chapter 11: Expectations

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

The next day Aiden was practically dead to the world. He slept through most of the day and was only awake for meals. The day after he was still tired and prone to a few naps, but he felt rested enough that he didn't feel lightheaded from exhaustion.

His entire body was one giant bruise and incredibly sore, but he was in better shape than Jess. Turned out that the bump he gave her over the head gave her a mild concussion. She slept more than him and the few times she was awake she sported headaches that put her in a bad mood. Well, in a worse mood than usual.

By the third day, when there was some semblance of order in the jail, the sheriff called Aiden for a private meeting. With the jail much more crowded the only place they had relative peace was the top floor that Aiden had reserved for him, his friends, and most importantly Faith. Thankfully her presence in the very place she nearly destroyed remained secret.

Aiden found the sheriff in one of the cells they used as a makeshift meeting room. The cell was technically two cells, but the wall that separated the two had been knocked down. A small table and folding chairs sat in the center. The sheriff stood leaning against the edge of the table, his attention on a map of Hope County.

The rookie deputy had expected to see some of the others present for the meeting, he was used to always seeing one of his friends nearby and ready for any type of meet up. But Jess was sleeping off another headache, Nick left to check on his family, and Grace and Adelaide were helping the Cougars with delivering some supplies. So that left Hurk and Sharky on guard duty to prevent anyone from approaching the floor they occupied.

"Rook," the sheriff announced. He hadn't looked away from the map. "Nice of you to finally join us in the world of the living. How are you feeling?"

Aiden cracked his neck in response. The jail mattresses were stiff, but still so much better than the cold, hard ground. "Much better." His cyan eyes drifted to the table and noticed the many lines, arrows and circles that were littered on the map. "I see you're working on your drawing. Any word on Joseph's location?"

The sheriff sighed as he straightened and pointed to said scribbles. "The first place we sent some scouts to was his church, the place where all this started. Unfortunately, the place was empty."  
Aiden frowned. "If he's not there he could be anywhere. With the Gate's gone, he'd have to be in one of the few outposts the Peggies still have."

"That's what I thought as much as well," the Sheriff said. He pointed to the circles on the map. "It would be simple for the resistance from all the regions in the county to ambush the remaining outposts. But things are never simple, the resistance may have the slightly better numbers than the Peggies, but the cult still have weapons, the Bliss, and most importantly, they have…goddamn air support."

"The Chosen," Aiden announced, "that's what they're called."

The sheriff finally tore his eyes away from the map and looked at him. "I take it you've dealt with them before, rook?"

The deputy nodded. "One of them came to the rescue during my scuffle with John. Fortunately, Nick distracted it while I hunted down John. We owe our lives to Hurk for taking it down."

"Wait, wait, don't the Chosen pilot jets?" The sheriff paused while Aiden responded with a nod. "How does one take down a _jet_? And Hurk of all people?"

Aiden grinned and then shook his head. "Months ago, Hurk and I infiltrated the training camp that Jacob ran up North. They had a small cache of weapons and Hurk ended up taking a rocket launcher for himself. We're very fortunate he never had a use for it until that Chosen jet showed up."

"That gives us some hope for a fighting chance against jets at least."

A bad feeling churned in Aiden's gut. There were still a few things that he hadn't caught up on, like why the jail was full to bursting with people. "I've come across enough notes to know that the Chosen were a last resort for the Heralds. Since I only ran into one, I imagine Joseph is using them now."

The sheriff nodded and pointed to the map, specifically the crossed out portions across all three regions. "While you were getting your beauty sleep, Joseph released a broadcast. Word of Faith's death reached him and to say the man is furious is an understatement. He wants blood."

Aiden cursed mentally. He would have wanted to see that broadcast. No doubt it would still be playing or someone would have a copy for him. He made a mental note to ask about that later. But as the rest of the sheriff's news sorted through his head, Aiden had an idea of why so many of the resistance outposts were attacked.

"Let me guess," Aiden muttered as he approached the map on the table. There were numerous places circled and even more crossed out. It didn't look good. "Was it the Chosen that attacked the resistance?"

The sheriff nodded gravely. "Joseph didn't even want to reclaim the outposts. The jet's flew by, fired, and left."

That would explain why there were so many injured people that showed up at their doorstep, Aiden thought.

"The outposts here in the Henbane River have been hit the hardest. The attacks spread the Bliss. If we didn't lose people from the Chosen, more were lost to the Angels."

Another curse escaped the deputy, only this time he voiced it aloud. "The few aircrafts we do have are just helicopters and planes. Even with weapons equipped, we don't stand a chance against jets."

"Exactly, rook." The sheriff motioned to the map again. "It's just as important that we find their base as it is to find Joseph."

"And with the Chosen flying about, it's dangerous for us to be in the air to try to find their base as soon as possible."

"You're right. Thankfully, Adelaide and Grace decided to remain grounded before they could be attacked. They originally wanted to transport some supplies by air. But once we found out about the Chosen, we radioed them just in time."

Worry over his friends washed over Aiden like a bucket of ice, but the feeling quickly melted into warm relief to hear that they were okay. "Okay, so we find where the Chosen park their jets or we find the source of their fuel. Jet's can't fly without juice. Do we have any theories on the location of either of those?"

"Well that's where the bad news comes in."

That bad feeling twisted in Aiden's gut again. The Chosen attacking people wasn't the bad news?

"Some people in Whitetail reported that they saw the jets fly over the mountains. So there's the possibility that their base is in the outskirts of the county."

Aiden felt his heart drop into his gut. "That is bad news. We're literally land trapped within the county, and if the Chosen control the air it'll be difficult for us to fly out."

The sheriff nodded. "So far it seems like we have two options. We can try to take out as much of the Chosen with weapons. Even if we arrest Joseph we still have to get out of here. And there's no guarantee that we won't be attacked even with Joseph in our possession."

"What about backup? I've managed to fix a few radio towers in the county. Can't we radio for reinforcements? Taking on jets is a little out of our league."

A sigh escaped the older male. "Unfortunately, there's still something that's jamming our signals when we try to radio outside of Hope County."

The deputy let out another curse. "You said we have two options. What's the second?"

"We have one of Joseph's siblings."

Aiden shouldn't have felt surprised, but he did. It made sense to try to get information from Faith, but he had a feeling she wouldn't be willing to do anything that went against Joseph, she was too devoted to him. Tracey hadn't told him what she did to make her talk about how to destroy her Gate, but he knew she had to be forceful. Forcing information from people left a bad taste in his mouth. And now he wondered if the sheriff wasn't above that considering their current stakes at apprehending Joseph as soon as possible.

"Oh don't look at me like that, rook." The sheriff said. "I'm not saying we hurt the girl. But it's quite common to offer deals in exchange for information."

Aiden felt relieved at the idea. It was true, it was common practice to offer shorter prison sentences in exchange for information. Still, he had his doubts it would work on Faith. But it definitely didn't hurt to try.

"I'll trust you to talk with her. We need to know where Joseph or the Chosen are hiding."

"Wait," Aiden felt his eyes widen in surprise. "You're going to leave me to make a deal with her?"

The sheriff's mustache twitched, it tended to do that when he smirked. "You saved her life, rook. She'll probably feel a little more comfortable talking to you."

"But, what kind of deal should I offer her? I don't even know how long she'll be locked up for all of this."

The sheriff scratched at his mustache and his eyes drifted upwards to the ceiling. "Hell, deputy, I don't care what you offer her. So long as she doesn't walk free. We really need information."

Aiden sighed and felt his shoulders sag in defeat. "Fine. Just don't blame me if all she gets is a slap on the wrist and probation."

* * *

As consciousness slowly roused Faith, the first thing that she felt was the cold. It took several more moments for her to realize that the shaking she was feeling was her own shivering. Since she couldn't do so much as lift her eyelids she thought about just letting sleep overtake her again, but the cold was too bothersome. Then she came to realize that it was wrong to feel cold at all. She faintly remembered that before she was so hot she was sweating.

Curious about what was going on, she tried to lift her heavy eyelids, but only managed to crack open her eyes slightly. Her vision was blurry and the cold air that brushed against her exposed eyes hurt. That one small pain seemed to have awoken the rest of her nerves. Her shivering became worse and she could feel a breeze cooling the exposed skin of her hands and arms. Even though her feet felt cold too, the air didn't lick at her skin.

More moments passed and Faith realized that a thin blanket was draped over her lower body. Another wave of the shivers hit her and she just wanted to curl under the blanket to conserve as much body heat as she could. When she tried to bend her knees a sharp pain chased the drowsiness further away. The sharp pain eased eventually, but now Faith definitely couldn't pull sleep's embrace closer with the cold and now the ache that didn't want to go away.

Eventually it wasn't so difficult to lift her eyelids. The earlier exposure to the cold air left her eyes watering which also helped clear her vision. The first thing she saw was an unfamiliar ceiling. Instead of the usual concrete ceiling she was used to waking up to, the ceiling above her was made of stone. The bare walls were also made of stone and the wall opposite of her had a small, glassless window that was much too small for even her to squeeze out of. Then she noticed what looked to be iron bars that would make squeezing out of the window impossible. But that very open window would explain the cold breeze.

The sunlight seeping in through the window gave her an idea of the general time. Last time she was conscious she could have sworn it was in the evening. She wondered how long she's been asleep.

Another thing that Faith came to realize was the pain in her leg had lessoned considerably. Before she remembered her leg was a furious throb that made her nauseated. Now it was a constant ache.

Sudden movement next to her attracted her attention. She was truly hoping she would find the Father standing next to her, a warm smile on his face, and his honeyed voice ready to sooth her. Instead, she felt disappointed to find Aiden looking down at her. Despite her disappointment, she was quick to notice the concern in his eyes. Her disappointment quickly turned to relief. She should really be grateful Aiden was with her. At least he treated her well, unlike Tracey.

"Where," once she started to speak she realized how dry her throat was. Her throat seized up and she fell into a coughing fit that brought tears to her eyes. Aiden must have anticipated this would happen because he was ready to offer her a bottle of water.

It was a struggle to sit up, her body ached in protest at the movement. There was a painful tug on her arm, she looked and found that she was hooked up to an IV. Still confused by everything, Faith dismissed her thoughts and focused on hydrating her dry mouth and throat. Just the act of drinking left her feeling heavy and exhausted. She laid back down and closed her eyes.

A large, warm hand rested on her forehead.

"Your fever broke. Looks like the medicine is working," Aiden told her. "How are you feeling?"

Faith opened her eyes and studied the deputy's face. There was that concern again that confused her. "Better. Tired." Her leg still hurt though. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again the room was lightened by artificial light, the sky outside the window was dark. She just wanted to rest her eyes and she slept until evening?

Her body didn't protest as much when she sat up this time. The small, hard cot she slept on was pressed against a wall so she leaned against it as she looked about the room. There was another cot on the other side of the room, a metal toilet and sink between them, and metal bars that prevented her from leaving the room.

"You're awake."

Faith jumped out of her skin. She hadn't noticed Aiden standing just on the other side of the bars. The cell door creaked loudly as he opened it and stepped inside. It was then that Faith noticed the plastic cup in his hand. He stepped next to her and handed her the cup. Despite the dim lighting she could see steam rising from it. Her cold hands welcomed the warmth. She took a careful sip and savored the salty taste of chicken broth. Her stomach growled in response and she was suddenly taking large gulps.

Aiden waited patiently for her to finish. While she was drinking the soup he had stepped back outside and pulled in a chair and plopped on it.

"So," he paused and scratched the back of his head. "I guess I should say, welcome to Hope County Jail."

Faith choked on the soup. She looked at the deputy and could feel the blood draining from her face.

"Relax. You're safe here. Kinda."

She wasn't hungry anymore. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, she wouldn't be surprised if Aiden could hear it.

"What I mean is, so long as the Cougars don't know you're here, you'll be safe. And it's temporary. You really needed medical attention and this was the only place with a doctor."

"How long have I been here?" She asked. Knowing that she wouldn't be crucified by the Cougars, her hunger returned so she resumed drinking the last of the soup.

"A few days. And now that you're awake, we can go over a few things."

Faith lifted one thin eyebrow.

"Like I said, the people here don't know that you're, well, alive. It's just me, the sheriff, and my friends that know. Oh and the doctor, of course. We have this top level of the jail to ourselves. This cell will obviously be yours. You'll eat your meals here. Luckily there's some showers on this floor, so you can shower every other day. I don't recommend bringing attention to yourself. I may have my friends making sure that no one else comes up here, but if word gets out that you survived and if people storm up here, I've told my friends not to risk themselves. Against a mob, they'll step aside."

Faith felt the color drain from her face again. Tracey may have hesitated to kill her, but she knew the others wouldn't do the same. She nodded her understanding.

Aiden smiled sadly at her. "Good. So the doctor will be stopping by shortly to check if that IV can come off. We were…lucky that he was willing to treat you, and keep your survival a secret. So I don't recommend doing anything to betray that trust."

Faith frowned and shook her head. She was at everyone's mercy, she wouldn't do something so stupid to jeopardize her safety. "Why are you telling me all of this?" She asked.

Aiden shrugged. "It's just something I learned. Things tend to go easier when you set expectations."

They both sat silently for a long moment. A cold breeze rushed in through the window that made Faith shiver. Aiden was abrupt when he stood and left the cell without a word. With him gone, Faith did her best to curl up under the blanket. Even though she just woke up from a several hour long nap, she felt the familiar tug of drowsiness.

She was just starting to doze off when the sudden clank of the cell door opening and closing nearly had her jumping out of her skin again. It was Aiden with a bundle of some sort of cloth in his grasp. He unfolded the cloth, which revealed to be another blanket, and he handed it to her. His kindness was confusing, but she was grateful.

"Thank you," she whispered. The blanket was much thicker than the one she was currently using. It wasn't the softest, but it helped warm her enough for the shivers to stop.

Aiden sat in the chair. "Can't have you getting sick again after you just got better, right?"

Faith didn't respond. She just wrapped herself in the second blanket as best as she could without moving her injured leg. There had to be a reason for his kindness.

"What happens to me now?" She asked.

The deputy rubbed the back of his head. It seemed to be a habit more than an actual itch, Faith guessed. "Once the doc gives the okay for you to travel, we'll sneak outta here. I'll take you back to the private bunker where you'll be safe. Once we apprehend the Father I'll return for you. From there, well that's when the justice system will start for you both."

Hearing Aiden's plan to arrest the Father brought a small smile to her face. He proved all those months ago when the sheriff, his deputies and the marshal arrived that he wouldn't be allowed to be taken. She would have to find some way to escape and return to the Father, but for now all she could do was play the compliant prisoner.

"You may be able to take me," she told the deputy. "But God won't let you take the Father. That's been proven already, hasn't it?"

Aiden watched her with a blank expression, his head titled to the side just slightly. After a moment he inhaled deeply. "I know you were there at the church, I saw you." He paused and glanced outside the window. Another breeze drifted in but it didn't phase him despite him only wearing jeans and a T-shirt. "But I didn't see you at the helicopter crash. I was lucky to gain consciousness and get away before your people got there. Are you aware that Joseph's influence goes beyond Hope County?"

Faith frowned. "Of course. His influence stretches across the country."

"Yeah well," Aiden paused and scratched his cheek. "When we crashed, dispatch was trying to get in contact with us. I was trying to reach for the radio to request help, but Joseph intervened. The woman with dispatch called him Father too. So that's when I knew he was expecting us and had everything planned out."

He looked at her, but she remained silent. There was nothing to say. She knew he was trying to say something to make her doubt in the Father.

"When the helicopter went down it wasn't because of the Peggies that were climbing on it. Helicopters are sturdy, pure metal. Flesh and bone can't damage it. But the helicopter just…stopped working."

"The Father told us all that God wouldn't let you take him. So of course the helicopter would just stop," Faith defended.

Aiden offered her a small smile. "Was the helicopter malfunction because of God's will, or was it because it was tempered with? If dispatch had one of his followers, I'd think he'd get a heads up that law enforcement were going to be on their way to arrest him. But now that I think back on that crash, the Father said something that makes me wonder."

Faith frowned and shook her head. He was just saying things to make her doubt in the Father, in God. She wasn't so easily dissuaded.

Even though she didn't speak back with him, Aiden continued telling her his theory. "The Father said the first seal was broken and that the collapse would soon begin. Isn't it awfully convenient that the end of the world is set into motion when the law finally makes its move to arrest Joseph? And if he has followers outside of Hope County…"

Surprise filled Faith. She tried to hide her shock, but she looked at the deputy a little too sharply, her eyes wide. He noticed her reaction, however. He watched her with a knowing grin.

"Is this why you told me that even if I don't listen to him he'll still be right?"

Faith was at a loss of how to respond. She had said too much that day, when she thought she was going to die. It was too late to take those words back and she doubted she could convince him to believe in anything differently.

The deputy's grin faltered and he looked at her almost in a sad manner. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out the Father has orchestrated all of this. The crash and now quite possibly the collapse itself. I read that note you left behind, just North of here actually. You were starting to doubt the project. Was that when you found out about the Father's influence outside of here?"

Faith glared at him. She was still dumbstruck that she was so careless to leave a confession note out in public. Though she suppose she was lucky that it was Aiden that found it.

"Ah, but I digress." Aiden waved his hand as if to dismiss their conversation. "I came, actually, to make a deal with you."

Both fear and anger twisted in Faith's gut. She felt angry that her loyalty to the Father was thought to be so easily bought. But she was also fearful of what may be done to her if she didn't play along. Her leg and head throbbed just from remembering what Tracey did to her. But Aiden has been nothing but concerned and kind to her since he arrested her. What would he do to get her to give him the information he wanted?

"What kind of deal?" She asked. Though she already knew what he wanted.

"I want to know more about the Chosen."

That wasn't what Faith was expecting to hear. She honestly thought he would ask her about the Father's location. She shook her head. "You're asking the wrong person. Jacob would've been the one to ask."

"Hmm," Aiden hummed. He lifted a hand to his chin and tapped his index finger on his cheek. "So you know nothing about them at all?"

Faith already said too much about Jacob being the one to ask and she noticed something calculating in Aiden's eyes. "I don't know anything about them."

A smile grew on the deputy's face. "Surely you know something about them. Like how to get in contact with them. Or where they're stationed."

She didn't bother to respond lest she say something else too revealing.

Aiden noticed her hesitation. "Listen, if you help us just by giving us some information we'll help you."

A scoff escaped her throat before she could help it. "How could you possibly help me?"

"Faith, you have a whole life to live. And it isn't worth living behind bars. If you help us we will be sure that you do as minimal time in prison as possible."

The younger woman shook her head. "What do I have to live for? _You_ destroyed my family, my purpose. And now you want me to betray the only family I have left? No. I'm not helping you."

She winced when Aiden lifted his hand, but he didn't strike her. Instead, he rifled his fingers through his hair and sighed. He opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of footsteps echoed loudly in the cell. Someone tall stepped up in front of her cell, a man, but she didn't recognize who he was.

Aiden glanced at him before he stood up. "Faith, this is the doctor I was telling you about earlier. I trust that if he doesn't come to any harm we won't have to restrain you to the bed for all of his future visits."

Faith rolled her eyes. As tired and weak as she felt there would be no way she could attack or hurt the doctor. Still, she was quiet and compliant as he checked her vitals and answered his questions. Her leg was still tender when he removed the bandage, but it wasn't as terrible as it was before. He wrapped her leg with clean bandages and then moved towards her arm that was connected to the IV. It stung when he removed it, he didn't have gentle hands, but she was glad to finally be free of it.

The doctor looked towards Aiden as he cleaned up the used bandages and the IV bag. "She's healing well and can move on to tablets. Make sure she doesn't walk on the leg too much, though I doubt she has much energy right now to even consider walking."

Faith felt annoyed to be discussed like she wasn't even there. But she kept her thoughts to herself. Once the doctor turned his attention away from her she felt the persistent tug of drowsiness again which was made all the more enticing now that the second blanket warmed her. She got as comfortable as the stiff mattress would allow and closed her eyes. She jolted when the cell door opened and shut loudly. She opened an eye and found that both Aiden and the doctor departed, she could still hear their heavy footsteps and could only understand so much of their soft mumblings. She was just glad to be alone, for now. All she wanted to do was rest.

Faith hadn't realized she fell asleep until she was woken up by voices. It was so quiet she could hear them as if they were talking in her cell.

"I had noticed something from all your scribbles." It was Aiden speaking.

Next to speak was a woman's voice that Faith didn't recognize. "What's there to notice? They're taking out every outpost, one by one."

Another woman spoke. "No, he's right. You can see it with the other regions too. All the minor outposts are destroyed, but there are three places that are left alone."

A male spoke next, this voice Faith recognized it as the sheriff. "Fall's End and this very jailhouse remain untouched."

"This location is a bunker, it's the main base of operations for the Whitetail Militia," Aiden announced. "I think that the Chosen are taking out all of our strongholds one by one to herd us into one location. Or in this case, three locations. Once that happens, we'll be sitting ducks."

One of the female voices cursed. "Then what are we waiting for? We find the Chosen bastards and kill them before they bomb us all."

The sheriff was next to respond. "It isn't that simple. We have no idea where their base is. And as much as you all have traveled across the county, the fact that you all haven't come across an aircraft base heavily implies that their base isn't even in Hope County."

"And if we want to leave we'll have to fly out of here. All the tunnels that lead into the county have been destroyed," the second female voice stated.

"Whatever we decide," Aiden announced, "we'll have to act fast. In three days we've lost all the progress we made in months. I know we can't radio outside of the county, but we can still communicate with the other members of the resistance in the other regions. We'll have to work together."

"There's another problem," a third male voice replied. Faith also couldn't recognize who the voice belonged to. "Even if we succeed in flying out of the county there's still a lot of land to cover. The Chosen have the advantage of knowing our location so we'll be vulnerable to being ambushed."

"Rook," the sheriff said abruptly. "Did you have any luck finding out where these Chosen are?"

Faith's heart beat faster.

"Ah, well about that," Aiden sounded nervous. "She refused to have any knowledge."

"Bullshit," one of the females replied. "That flower bitch knows."

The sheriff spoke next. "I take it she didn't bite with a deal offer?"

"No," Aiden answered. "To be honest, she's been under Joseph's influence for years. She didn't just serve them for the sake of survival. They accepted her into a family she never had. She loves the Father and not just as a symbol of a religion. It won't be easy to get her to talk."

"Then you just weren't convincing enough." This voice made Faith's heart beat even faster, it was Tracey.

"All right, all right," the sheriff interrupted. "We have a lot of planning to do, and it's late. Let's get some sleep and tomorrow we'll get in contact with Whitetail and Fall's End."

There was a scraping of chairs against concrete and then the pounding of numerous footsteps. Faith closed her eyes in case anyone peeked into her cell, she didn't want anyone to know that she overheard their plans. Not that she posed as any risk to their plans, unless she managed to escape.

For the remainder of the evening sleep eluded her. Overhearing Aiden's meeting at least warned her about one thing, while she remained at the jail she was at risk of being attacked too. She had to find some way to escape, but her injured leg made that next to impossible. Even if he relocated her back to that bunker she feared of being left there alone forever if Aiden were to perish. With the dire situation they were all in, the possibility of Aiden dying seemed all the more likely.

Hours later the room lightened as the sun rose and Faith still hadn't slept a wink. She was tired, but fear of what would happen in the next few days kept her wide awake. So she figured she'd try to walk around. If she wanted to escape she'd need to rebuild her strength, and laying around wouldn't help with that.

As Faith detangled herself from the blankets and stretched her sore muscles, she could immediately hear the difference the jail had from night or day. A few hours ago everything was so quiet and now all she could hear were a mass of distant voices. She had just sat up and was steeling herself to stand and put weight on her leg when something hard struck the metal bars of her cell. It seemed like she was never going to get used to hearing the sudden loud metallic bang, she jumped and looked up.

It worried her that Aiden or the doctor weren't the ones visiting her. Instead, it was a hooded woman. At first she thought it was Tracey, but then she noticed the light color of her skin and hair and she had a compound bow draped over her shoulder. Faith didn't recognize her, but she noticed the look of anger and pure hate emanating from the woman. Her heart began to beat loudly in her chest.

"Rise and shine, flower girl." The woman snarled as she opened the cell door. She didn't walk into the cell, however. "Let's go."

* * *

A/N: So, so sorry for the delay with this chapter. With the holidays and what not things have been a bit busy and progress on the chapter had been a little slow. I also wanted to point out that I totally fangirled upon the announcement of New Dawn, and as much as I would love to finish this story before New Dawn's release I don't think it'll happen. Regardless, New Dawn definitely won't be changing what I have planned for this story's ending, the ending was one of the first things I planned when I though about writing up this story. But I may write an epilogue.

I also wanted to mention the reasoning for my alteration to the use of the Chosen. As annoying as those people were, I found it to be very unlikely that people in aircraft can easily spot a little ant of a person running around in clusters of trees. So while they were a bit of a last resort for all the heralds, I found it to be more fitting that they're used more as a last resort from Joseph instead. And we never do find where they even sprout from, so I added those thoughts into the story. Anyhow, thanks for reading and big thank you to those that take the time to provide their thoughts.


	12. Settling

Ambivalence

Chapter 12: "Settling"

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Faith's heart beat against her ribs so hard she expected it to jump out of her chest. As angry as the hooded woman looked, Faith had a bad feeling about wherever she was to go. Climbing to her feet was quick and simple, but putting any weight on her injured leg brought a sharp pain that nearly made her stumble.

"Hurry the hell up. And put this on," the woman tossed Faith a hoodie. "We wouldn't want anyone recognizing you."

The sarcasm in her voice was obvious, but nonetheless, Faith donned the garment as instructed and put up the hood. She had to use the wall as leverage any time she had to put her weight on her bad leg which only seemed to irritate the other woman further. Once she was outside of her cell the woman seemed to have lost her patience with her slow stride. She grabbed Faith by the upper arm, with a grip tight enough to make her wince, and practically dragged her along the walkway.

As they walked, Faith looked about her surroundings. The walkway had one side completely railed off, the other end were several cells similar to her own. She couldn't see the other levels below, but that was probably for the best. If she was able to see the lower levels then someone would have been able to see her.

Faith knew it was pointless to ask the woman anything, but anxiety got the best of her. "Where are we going?"

"Shut up," the woman barked. "That is unless you want someone to hear and recognize you. I don't have any problems tossing you over the rail if it means to save myself from a mob."

Aiden had warned her about that. His allies would not risk their lives to protect her. Wherever they were headed, she hoped they arrived soon. Every few steps and the pain in her leg was becoming more and more unbearable.

They walked to the very end of the walkway and into a narrow corridor. They passed several doors and finally stopped in front of one door with a sign that read _Showers_. Faith let out a relieved sigh. She was worried she'd be interrogated or worse.

The shower room wasn't large, she counted six shower heads that had short tiled dividers between each one. One of the dividers had a towel hanging on it along with a tiny bottle of shampoo and an even smaller bar of soap.

"You have ten minutes."

Faith was given a rough shove forward, but only just managed to keep herself standing. She unbuttoned the top three buttons on her shirt when she had that sense of someone watching her. She turned and found the archer leaning against the wall, her arms crossed across her chest, and her eyes narrowed to slits in a glare.

"Nine minutes now. Once your time is up, I'm dragging you back to your cell whether you have clothes on or not."

That got Faith to dismiss the need for privacy, though her face burned as she undressed. After sleeping in her own sweat for four days she was desperate for a wash. The water was ice cold at first, but after a few moments it warmed to a more comfortable temperature. It wasn't as warm as Faith would have preferred, but she didn't have much time. She reached for the bar of soap and shampoo and noticed they were from King's Hot Springs Hotel. They were cheaply made, the soap made her skin feel like rubber and the shampoo didn't smell like anything, but it was better than nothing.

Once she scrubbed herself clean as quickly as she could, she shut off the water and reached for the towel. She hadn't noticed a change of clothes, and the thought of wearing her same clothes wasn't pleasant, but dirty clothes was preferable than walking out in the nude. A yelp of surprise escaped her throat when she was suddenly pushed up against the wall.

"Remember what I said about bringing attention to yourself," the hooded woman snarled into her ear.

Faith's heart jumped into her throat and by instinct she tried to push off the wall, but the other woman was stronger than she was, she was locked in place. She felt the burn of the towel being violently pulled from her grip. A hand came into her view as it reached for the shower and turned it on. Ice-cold water sprayed out and hit her warm skin. She couldn't hold back a second yelp.

As quickly as the towel was pulled away from her, it was suddenly wrapped over her face. The cold water continued to beat down on her, and now with the towel covering her face it created the sensation of being under water. Faith panicked as she tried to inhale with no success, water seeped through the material and into her mouth and nose.

"Is this how you forced the Bliss onto others?" The woman hissed at her. Faith was surprised she could understand what she was saying over the pounding of her heart and the water. "Did you drown them in it? Forced them to inhale it until they broke? How does it feel?!"

Faith tried to beg her to stop, but just trying to breathe took all of her effort. It was sudden when the towel was removed from her face, she sucked in as much air as she could but her lungs burned. Then she was pulled back with such force she couldn't maintain her balance and fell onto the cold tile floor. The older woman stood before her, radiating with hatred. She had removed her bow, quiver and her hoodie, the shirt and jeans she wore under it were soaked with water.

By instinct, Faith knew to curl into a ball to protect herself, but she was still reeling from the near drown and was still trying to stabilize her breathing. The other woman stepped next to her and crouched down.

"You turned my friend into a zombie."

"Angel," Faith tried to say, but her voice came out too hoarse.

Her response angered the woman more. "Shut up!" Her fist connected with Faith's cheek. The slap of flesh against flesh echoed loudly in the tiled room. "He was a good person. And _you_ killed him!" The woman stood and swung her leg so the tip of her boot drove right into Faith's gut.

The air was knocked out of Faith's lungs, but the pain was so intense she expected to be sick, but there was nothing in her stomach to expel. Another kick came and struck true without hitting her arms she had cradled around her midsection. It had been a long time since she felt it, but she felt that certain pain that came when a bone broke.

She tried to speak, but her words came out as broken sobs as the kicks continued. The moment the kicks stopped, Faith was grabbed by her arm and pulled up to her feet. The near drowning and beating left her legs feeling weak and shaky, the grip on her arm was mostly what kept her standing.

"No, please," she managed to say before the towel was wrapped around her head again and she was thrown towards the still running shower. The water pounded against her covered face and she panicked again when she couldn't breathe.

Faith began to feel lightheaded when she was pulled away from the water and the towel was ripped off her face. She collapsed to her knees and gasped for breath. When she had settled, somewhat, she realized there was another person in the room. The new person was a black woman, she wore a baseball cap, what looked to be a military jacket like Jacob's, and a scarf designed as the American flag.

"What the _hell_ , Jess?!" The woman with the military jacket shouted. "We're supposed to keep her locked up, not kill her."

The woman called Jess looked furious. "If I wanted to kill her, she'd have an arrow through her neck."

"Then what was all this? I could hear the commotion all the way to my cell. What if someone in the lower levels heard?"

Jess crossed her arms. "That's not our problem. I warned her not to bring any attention to herself."

The military woman threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. "You can't beat a person and expect them to keep quiet." There was a long moment of silence, minus Faith's coughs. "What is this all about?"

"You know what."

"Jess…"

"Don't 'Jess' me! I want this bitch to know how it feels to have something forced onto her, to feel helpless."

Faith's voice came out weak and raspy. "I do know how that feels. More than you think."

Her words only seemed to anger Jess further. She audibly growled and charged her. One hand held Faith in place by her shoulder and the other pulled back, her hand tightened in a fist. Faith closed her eyes and waited for the impact, but instead felt the woman's weight vanish.

The other woman had pulled Jess away. "That's enough! You've done enough. Why don't you go walk it off?"

Faith silently watched as Jess collected her discarded things. As she put her hoodie back on, she looked to the woman in the military jacket. "You gonna tell Aiden about this, Grace?"

The woman named Grace was silent for a long moment before she glanced at Faith and then back to Jess. "I won't say anything unless he asks. I won't lie."

Jess grunted and then headed for the door. She looked inside the room one final time and glared at Faith before she departed from the room. This definitely wasn't going to be the final time they saw each other. The thought only made Faith's heart beat painfully faster.

The silence that ensued was awkward, but once Faith climbed to her feet she quickly reached for her clothes. The disgust of wearing dirty clothes was the farthest thing in her mind at the moment. Bending at the waist hurt, she definitely had a cracked rib or two.

Her movement attracted the other woman's attention to her. For a moment Faith's heart felt like it stopped, would this woman do something to her as well? What if she was worse?

"You ready?" She waited until Faith nodded. "Good, follow me then."

Grace was a lot more patient than Jess, and her silence and stoic facial expression made it difficult to guess if she hated Faith too. She didn't pull her by the arm or hiss at her to hurry up, but she made no move to assist her either. She all but dragged her injured leg along and used the walls to steady her. She would have preferred to use the railing, but she was warned to stay away from the edge, from sight of the lower levels where other people resided.

Once Faith was in her cell, and the door shut behind her, she collapsed onto her cot. Once she was sure Grace walked far enough away from hearing distance, she covered her face with the blanket and allowed the tears to fall. It was difficult to keep her sobs quiet, if she was able to hear Aiden's meeting then there was a chance someone could hear her cry.

As quickly as that thought came, Faith wondered why she was even against someone hearing her sobs. She should be crying loud enough to try to gain some sympathizers. Instead, she sat on a bed and used a blanket to muffle her cries, it was like she was with her parents again. Crying after a beating and trying to keep quiet lest she entice more.

* * *

Aiden felt a little better now that the resistance had a plan. Tracey and the sheriff would try to get in contact with Falls End and the Whitetail Militia so they could hopefully meet and discuss the issue with the Chosen. Until then, Aiden was responsible for securing more supplies for the Cougars. With the influx of more people migrating to their stronghold, they were literally eating through their supplies at an alarming rate.

So, the rookie deputy had the task of doing some homework before he set out. He had scouts to hunt down to inquire of any potential stashes. Luckily, being fairly early in the morning, he knew most scouts could be found in their mess hall.

Thankfully he worked with the Cougars long enough to recognize the people that took on the roles of scouts. But before he could spot any familiar faces, his attention was briskly taken by recognizing one face he hadn't been expecting so soon.

"Adelaide?" Aiden asked as he approached the older woman. She sat on one of the tables which was occupied with other people, all of them simply enjoying each other's company over breakfast. But what made the deputy concerned was that he and Adelaide just spoke no more than about five minutes ago, he asked her for a favor to take Faith into the shower room. "What are you doing here so soon?"

The woman had just been laughing at something one of the men sitting next to her said, but she was quick to notice Aiden approaching. "Oh, deputy," she smiled at him before taking a bite from her food. "Grab a chair and join us, sweetheart."

Aiden glanced at their plates, looked like breakfast was microwavable frozen burritos, again. "I would, but I have some things to do. I wasn't expecting you to finish that favor so quickly. You didn't have any problems, did you?"

Confusion spread on Adelaide's face. "Jess told me you got her to take care of the little favor instead. She didn't seem too happy about it though."

Dread sprouted in Aiden's chest. If it had been anyone else that volunteered to babysit Faith he wouldn't be concerned. The sheriff was the only one that accepted Faith's arrest, and everyone else, minus Jess, seemed content. They weren't happy to have a herald so close, but they weren't openly hostile to her presence either. Or, at least, they looked content in front of him. Jess, on the other hand, was not hesitant to announce her distaste for the Bliss herald. And now that she recently discovered the demise of a childhood friend due to the Bliss, well, he could only imagine how much more animosity she held for Faith. The two women being alone was not a good thing.

Aiden quickly headed for the exit.

"Something wrong, deputy?" Adelaide called for him over the increasingly loud chatter in the room.

Word got out quick, even in a warzone that was Hope County, people loved to gossip. Aiden didn't need people to grow suspicious to see him sprinting towards the one place that was off limits to nearly everyone. He slowed his walk and turned to face Adelaide. "Nothing wrong, but I kinda forgot I promised Jess I get her some meds for her headaches."

Adelaide chuckled and waved him off. "Better hurry then, sweetheart. We wouldn't want to lose you to friendly fire."

With a forced smile, Aiden waved and continued towards the exit. It was torture to walk at a normal pace while his imagination went over so many different scenarios of what he would see upon walking into the shower room. To make matters worse, a few people stopped him to talk to him. He did his best to speak to them normally without trying to rush them.

When he finally made it to the third level of the east wing, he was surprised to find Faith in her cell. By the appearance of her damp hair, it seemed like Jess did indeed take her for a shower. However, even though Faith was quick to wipe her face with her blanket, he easily noticed her puffy, bloodshot eyes and she sniffled several times.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He scanned her appearance for any signs of injury, but she kept herself wrapped up in the blanket. He turned his neck to peek into Jess' cell, but it was empty. No one else appeared to be nearby, minus Hurk and Sharky that guarded the entrances to the cells.

"N-Nothing," she answered promptly, her voice sounded raspy and rough.

Aiden frowned as he continued to study her through the bars. She appeared unharmed, but he noticed the way she shivered and her face looked a little paler. A thought came to him then as he took in her disheveled hair and the shirt she still wore.

"I'll be right back," he told her.

As he walked away, he gave the floor one final sweep. "Jess!" He called out.

He didn't expect an answer, but if she was lingering around, he didn't want her to make a second attempt of whatever it was she did to Faith. He wasn't surprised that Faith refused to tell him what happened, he's seen it before. Prisoners knew not to rat out whoever were abusing them otherwise their next abuse would be much worse, whether the perpetrator was another fellow prisoner or a guard.

"Hey man," Hurk call as he walked passed him. "If you stop by again, mind bringin' more of them burritos for us?"

Aiden waved off the request and instantly regretted it. He paused after he descended one step and looked back up at Hurk. He looked down the hall and saw Sharky was guarding the other entrance. "Yeah, I'll be sure to bring some."

Just because he was irritated with Jess didn't mean he should take out his frustration with his other friends, especially as they were all doing him a huge favor with Faith, both in guarding her cell and in keeping her being alive a secret.

He retreated into the mess hall hoping to run into Adelaide again, but she was nowhere in sight. Before he could curse his luck, he found Grace at a table alone cleaning her rifle.

"Grace," he called to her as he approached. The woman froze and then glanced at him, her face neutral from any expressions.

"Morning, deputy." She told him, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Morning," he replied and took a seat across from her. "Listen, sorry, but can I ask for a favor?"

The veteran placed the rifle part in her hands down and looked at him. "I'd say it depends on the favor, but for you, you've earned a favor or two from me."

Aiden smiled. "Thank you. It isn't much, I just realized that I never got you-know-who any change of clothes, toiletries, things like that."

The woman's brows drew closer into a slight frown. "With how you treat your prisoners, deputy, I wish others did the same. Especially the Peggies themselves."

The male sighed. "Prisoners are still people, Grace. Hygiene is important, if you ignore a person's need for clean hygiene illness and disease sprouts, and it can spread to the people that guard those prisoners."

Another rare smile grew on Grace's face. "I'm just pulling your leg, deputy." She returned her attention to her rifle and began putting the parts back together. "I was just finishing this. What do I need to get?"

Aiden released the breath he held. "New clothes, maybe enough so she has something new for the week. She'd need some toiletries too, a brush, toothbrush, toothpaste. They have those type of things here, right?"

Grace nodded. "This place is pretty considerate when it comes to supplies. If you need something and they have it it's pretty much yours. They only regulate weapons, ammo, food and medicine." She finished putting her rifle together and glanced up at him. "I'm curious why you're asking me to do this though."

Aiden rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. "Honestly, I don't know anything about women's clothes, which is why I was looking to ask you or Adelaide."

The woman studied him a bit before smirking. "Is it because you're embarrassed to get women's underwear?"

Aiden felt his face burn. "Well I don't want to look like a weirdo! Plus, if a woman nabs some clothes it won't rouse any suspicion. I've heard the rumors, people here know we brought someone and are keeping them on the top floor."

Grace nodded. "Some are saying we have a Peggie prisoner. Considering the secrecy of everything, I don't blame them for coming to that conclusion."

"Agreed. Which is why we'll leave once we can."

They were silent for a moment. Even though Grace maintained relative calm expressions, there was something brewing in her dark eyes, like if she wanted to say something.

"Deputy, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Curious, Aiden tilted his head slightly. "Sure, what's your question?"

Grace gave quick glances around them before she leaned forward and lowered her voice. "You never really explained why you spared, you know. Why kill the others, but not her?"

The question caught Aiden off guard. For a moment he wasn't sure how to respond. He wished they were somewhere quieter for this conversation. He lowered his voice as well. "My experiences with the siblings have at least allowed me to get to know them. One was a flat-out sadist; the other was a sociopath. Her, on the other hand, she was…genuine."

He glanced away from Grace to check if anyone was listening in, but no one paid them any mind. Not to mention the chatter in the room made it impossible for anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation. He looked back to Grace and found that she was still watching him, deeply engrossed in his words, though there was a slight crease between her eyebrows.

"I know with her reputation that seems farfetched. But there were a few times that her expressions were simply too…real to be an act. She was still afraid of _him_ , I heard the fear in her voice." Aiden paused and sighed. "I hadn't told anyone this, but at our final confrontation, when everything was done, she reached for me. Not to hurt me, she just wanted comfort, and maybe a last-ditch effort to get me to _listen_ to her. But by instinct I pulled away. There were so many emotions that reflected on her face, surprise, sorrow, and acceptance. Again, they were too genuine to be an act. That's what got me to think that she was never evil or malicious. She honestly thought that her…methods were to save people. She believed she could save others, save me, the same way she felt she was saved by _him_. She was different, manipulated and brainwashed herself. I couldn't…I thought she deserved a chance."

Grace's frown deepened. "A chance for what?"

Aiden shrugged. "I don't think she's truly a bad person. I think she could learn that she went too far for the sake of being accepted. And maybe, hopefully, try to redeem herself."

Grace whistled. "You're quite the optimist."

Aiden fought a frown. He knew it was one thing to personally experience and witness something over being told something, so he shouldn't be annoyed that Grace didn't agree with him.

"I suppose the question now is _if_ she will redeem herself. Even though it was for her own sake of survival, no doubt her knowledge of those medical supplies really helped these people out," Grace replied.

"Yeah," Aiden agreed, "it won't be easy to undo years' worth of influence he has over her."

"Well, maybe you should be genuine with her just as she's been genuine with you," Grace suggested.

"What do you mean? I've always been honest. With her and with everyone," Aiden defended.

Grace offered a small smile. "That's what I mean. Just keep being you."

A chuckle escaped the deputy. "Who's the optimist now?"

They both fell into a comfortable silence for a moment before they both decided to move on. Grace left to fetch the clothes and personal supplies for Faith while Aiden stopped by where the food was kept and grabbed a little extra for Hurk and Sharky. Thankfully, his reputation kept the people away that made sure people didn't take too much food.

No one else bothered him as he made his way back to the top floor. Hurk and Sharky were grateful for the extra food. Aiden was honestly a bit worried to have the two cousins guarding Faith, he was aware Hurk, in particular, had a bit of a crush on her. But he was glad to see that both men kept their distance and stuck to their guard duties.

Faith looked like she hadn't moved, she was in the exact same position when Aiden left. Despite her hair looking dry, and being wrapped in the blankets, she still looked pale and shivered. She jumped when Aiden announced his presence and stepped into her cell.

"I hope you like sausage, egg and cheese burritos," he told her. The burritos were small so he grabbed three for her and five for himself. Even then he didn't think five would be enough.

Faith didn't voice anything against the food. Not that she was in a position to be picky. She accepted the burritos and promptly tore into one.

Aiden pulled a chair from the meeting room and into her cell. "Hope you don't mind the company," he told her as he sat down and dug into his own burrito. They were small enough for him to finish one in two bites.

The woman watched him, but remained silent as she ate.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Aiden said through a mouthful of food. Faith frowned at him in confusion. He dug into his shirt pocket and pulled out a white tablet the size of a dime. "This is for you."

Faith studied the tablet a moment before she took it. "What is it?" Her voice still sounded a bit rough, but it improved somewhat from how it sounded earlier.

"Your medicine," Aiden answered after a bite into his third burrito. "Antibiotics, to make sure that infection doesn't come back. Take them twice a day with food. Either one of my friends or I will provide them." He looked around. "I may have forgotten our drinks." He paused and eyed the sink in the cell. "Do you mind the tap?"

Faith immediately shook her head. "No tap water."

Aiden raised an eyebrow at her. It wasn't too long ago that he had to stop some Peggies from dumping a massive amount of Bliss into the county's water supply. Her refusal of the tap water made him a bit suspicious.

"Something wrong with the water?" He asked.

"No, it's not that," Faith defended. "The county's water has never really agreed with my stomach."

Aiden hummed.

"It's the truth," Faith insisted. "The magnesium level is too high, more than what I can personally tolerate."

The deputy smiled. "I understand. I was just joking, really. With the resistance in charge of the water treatment plant, the water is clean."

Faith nodded and then eyed the tablet.

"I'll get some bottled waters soon so you can take the medicine." Aiden had just bitten into his final burrito when Grace appeared, a small plastic crate in her arms.

"Ah, perfect timing," Aiden told her. He stuffed the entire burrito into his mouth and stood. "Thank you again," he muttered incoherently as he opened the cell door and accepted the crate.

Grace nodded. "Any time, rook."

Faith was still working on her food, so Aiden set the crate on the floor, right next to the bed.

"I'm sorry for not remembering to get you a change of clothes before you showered. But here are some now, as well as a few other things you may need. They're all supplies that the Cougars stockpile for anyone that need them, so the clothes may not be a perfect fit. If there's anything else you need, please don't hesitate to ask me."

Faith's chewing slowed as she eyed the crate. A slight frown formed on her face and she looked at Aiden then back down to the crate.

"What," her voice came out rough and she paused to swallow," what do you hope to get from this?"

Aiden tilted his head. "Get from what?"

Faith leaned forward to peek into the crate and pointed at it. "This, and this," she pointed to the tablet she had yet to take. It was quick, but Aiden noticed her grimace when she straightened. "Being…kind to me. Is this about that 'deal' you offered?"

Aiden frowned. He could understand why Faith would be skeptical about his treatment of her, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that she didn't think his generosity was genuine.

He was quiet for a long moment, contemplating on how to start. "I'm not here to gain anything. I'm responsible for your safety, and while you don't have to be comfortable, I simply choose to treat you like a person." He reached towards her to grab the discarded plastic wrappings from the food. She was quick to withdraw into herself and press herself against the wall.

Upon closer look at her face, Aiden noticed the very subtle redness with her right cheek. She hadn't been pressing her cheek on anything to cause the skin to be red. Maybe he was looking too much into the slight redness of her skin, but he would be a fool to think nothing happened between her and Jess.

"I've been on the receiving end of less…desirable incarcerations thanks to your brothers. I've been starved for days, crudely tattooed with dirty equipment that have caused lovely reactions, and have had to witness other people receive similar or worse treatment."

It was difficult to judge what emotions were going through Faith. She looked at him with a knowing glance along with a hint of regret and sorrow.

"So, knowing how it feels, I prefer my own prisoners be treated humanely. It works out better for both parties. There's a type of…civility that develops from it. I suppose I could say that all I really hope to gain from all this is your trust. Trust that I mean it when I say your safety is my responsibility."

Faith remained silent, but she looked contemplative. The longer he watched her, the more he realized the small coughs she made. Raspy voice, coughing, pain when she moved a certain way, and never letting the blanket out of her grasp. He _really_ wanted to know what happened.

"Listen," he stood with their food wrappings in hand. "I'll go fetch some bottled water so you can take your medication. And you'll have the privacy to change into fresh clothes. When I come back, how about we play a game?"

"What kind of game?" A flash of fear passed through Faith's blue eyes.

"We're going to be spending a lot of time together, and the few board games we have are always being hogged. Or have missing pieces. So, I have a game in mind to pass the time."

Aiden had stepped out of the cell when Faith called out to him again. "What is the game exactly?"

He shrugged. "Nothing too exciting, I'm afraid. Just a way for us to get to know each other."

She frowned as a result.

"I know you have some questions, but never seem to want to ask them. So, what I propose is, for every question you ask me, I have to provide an answer, but in return I can ask a question as well."

Faith shook her head. "You'll just use that to get me to answer your questions about the Chosen and the Father."

Aiden laughed. "That would be cheating. No, we both can choose to avoid answering a question. Let's say you don't want to answer one of my questions, that's fine. But by refusing to answer, you allow me to ask an additional question. So, for every one refusal, the other gains two questions. Get it?"

Faith groaned and rubbed her eyes. "It still sounds like a way for you to interrogate me."

"Ah, ah," Aiden winked at her. "You can interrogate me as well. And you can ask me anything. I'll even throw in a handicap for myself."

"Oh?" The woman asked.

"Only I will be unable to refuse to answer. Think of all the embarrassing things you could ask me and I can't refuse to tell you about it." He offered her a wide smile and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Faith continued to frown at him, but eventually shook her head and sighed. "Fine. It might prove to be entertaining. It's awfully boring to sit here with nothing to do."

"Deal," Aiden replied. "Anyway, don't lose that tablet. I'll be right back."

* * *

Once Aiden walked away, Faith sighed. The idea of the game was still an obvious fluke to get the information he wanted, but at least she had the option to refuse an answer.

She carefully unwrapped the blanket from herself and climbed to her feet. Her legs were still wobbly, but she didn't have to stand long. Afraid of someone walking past and seeing her without clothes, Faith was quick to undress and pull out the first thing from the crate. She was glad to see that underwear had been included, fresh and still sealed in plastic. As chilly as her cell has been, she settled on a long-sleeved shirt and joggers. The pants were much too long and wide for her, and the shirt a little too tight, but they were clean. She smiled when she spotted a brush and got to work on detangling the mess that was her hair.

It still hurt to bend or twist at the waist, but it was a pain she was used to, years ago. Her ears pricked upon hearing footsteps, she immediately thought it was Aiden, but when she saw a familiar hoodie, bow and quiver, Faith's heart leapt to her throat.

"Don't you go being a rat. Unless you want to play a very different game with me." Jess warned, her hand glided over her bow.

Faith merely nodded.

* * *

A/N: Stayed up a bit late getting this chapter done, but it's wurf. It's been a distraction to me all day to get it finished, so I'm glad I got it done at last. I may be a bit late responding to some reviews from the previous chapter, but I'll work on those this week. Big thank you to those that leave some feedback, it's always a joy to read people's thoughts and what not. And honestly some get me thinking too and have been a big help with my writing, so thank you again for keeping my muse contemplative.


	13. Stories

Ambivalence

Chapter 13: Stories

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

As if the hooded woman thumbing her bow wasn't enough of a threat, she kept her gaze on Faith, her glare intensified with each passing second. Faith knew she should break eye contact first and look down in submission, but she was safe behind the bars, for now, so she gave into the small temptation and studied the woman's face.

One of the few things that Faith was good at was being able to read people through their body language and their facial expressions. It was, for the most part, an utterly useless skill. But it was what helped her and Tracey become friends. Tracey was the tough girl at school. She walked around with an angry scowl and had a temper that made her unapproachable. But behind the frowns and threats Faith could see the loneliness and pain in her eyes. Being unintimidated by Tracey's outbursts and with a few knowing glances, the two eventually became friends.

Then when the Father accepted her, He recognized her skill with reading people. Another purpose He gave her was to look over the people that sought to join them. She was able to differentiate those that would be most accepting of the Project from the others that would need re-education. The skill also helped her in learning how to talk and convince the various shop owners in Henbane River to sell her their stores and property when she slowly took control of the region for the Project.

Now, looking at the hooded woman—Jess, as Faith recalled the other woman called her—reminded her of Tracey. The wrinkle between her brows, the snarl of her lips and narrow eyes easily expressed anger, which made the scars on her sunburned skin all the more apparent. She was not unattractive, could very likely be the opposite, but the scars and scowl were successful in making her look daunting. But then there was the constant clench of her jaw which said she was not only angry, but fighting to control herself.

Her stance was relaxed but well balanced with her feet shoulder width apart, her elbows bent slightly as if ready to use her bow at a moments notice. Despite her fury she breathed slowly and quietly. The only weapons she seemed to possess was the bow draped over her shoulder and a knife strapped to her waist. Even from a distance, she smelled like the forest, more like earth rather than dirt, and of sweat but not the onion smell of body odor. Then there were the writings on her hoodie, she recognized the marks that symbolized kills. She would have been a great member for the Chosen.

But behind her tough exterior, there was an all too familiar emotion in her blue eyes. She could see the haze in them, she looked uninjured but she was experiencing a physical pain. And then there was an emotional pain. It was instinct now to reach out and offer comfort, it was something that was finally accepted from her for the past few years, but the cold metal bars and the memory of the cause of the pain in her face and ribs stayed her hands.

Faith remembered what Jess had told her, a friend of hers became an Angel. Was her sorrow grief from losing a friend or was there more to her sadness?

Content with what she learned, Faith bowed her head down. If she didn't see Jess walk away in her peripheral vision, she wouldn't have known she left, her footsteps were so silent.

But she did faintly hear male voices in the distance, most likely Aiden returned. She moved to sit on the cot as carefully as she could without putting any pressure on her ribs, but it was impossible not to jar them. A sharp pain blossomed and she was unable to silence a gasp.

Her eyes caught sudden movement behind the bars and she startled, again. Aiden watched her, his brows pinched together.

Faith opened her mouth to say something, anything, to distract him from his calculating gaze, but her tired brain failed to formulate anything. Fatigue pressed down on her eyelids and body. She suddenly didn't feel like playing their game of twenty questions anymore. Instead, she'd rather sleep. She still needed to build her strength if she were to try to escape.

The screech of the cell door opening and closing grated at her ears. Aiden reclaimed his seat and handed her a bottled water. Faith then realized how dry her mouth and throat were and eagerly drank half the bottle before she remembered she had to take the tablet. It tasted horrible so she drained the rest of the water to wash the taste away.

The deputy looked at her with tired eyes and a small smile. Faith wasn't sure if she should feel annoyed or be fond of his smiles. It was difficult to explain, but his smiles were very different than what she was used to seeing. She's been given so many different types of smiles, most were fueled by lust or fear. Others were filled with awe, smiles that were indirectly meant for the Father, not her. Aiden's smiles, on the other hand, were comforting. It was wrong to feel such comfort from his smiles, he was the enemy.

"So, our game." The deputy's deep voice jarred her from her thoughts. "You want to take the first shot? Ladies first."

Faith fell back into her thoughts. It didn't take her long to come up with a question. It was one she's been asking herself ever since the deputy told her his reason for saving her.

"I remember what you told me, back then when our roles were reversed and _you_ were my prisoner."

Aiden's eyes narrowed and looked away in thought. After a moment he nodded. "I remember."

"What did you mean when you said I deserved better," she asked.

There was a quick flash of sorrow in the deputy's blue-green eyes. Faith always liked the color of his eyes, they reminded her of the color of the Bliss, only with a hint of more blue.

He sighed and leaned back. "I understand why you've done the things you've done for the cult, for Joseph. But," he paused and scratched his cheek. Another habit he had, but this one, Faith noticed, was something he did when he was thinking. "You said you were tested, right? You had to take a 'leap of faith' to prove yourself to Joseph. You've had to sacrifice your own identity to take on another. You were given a reason to live, you were still expected to protect him with your life. I _know_ you've done this and more to be accepted by your new family." He paused and Faith noticed the sorrow build in his eyes. "Love is selfless. You should have been accepted and loved for who _you_ are. Not what you could do for the cult."

Faith scoffed. Part of her was at a loss of what to say, millions of thoughts raced through her sluggish brain, but she still couldn't help but feel touched by his words, but another part of her shouted at her that he still didn't understand. He spoke from an outsiders perspective, after all.

Finally, she spoke to him, but her voice was much softer than how she meant to sound. "What did it matter what I 'deserved?' I was happy."

Aiden continued to look at her sadly and it started to infuriate Faith. She didn't need his pity.

His lips tightened into a line. "If you were happy, then why were you afraid of the Father?"

Faith opened her mouth to answer but he was prompt to speak again. "And don't say you weren't. I could hear the fear in your voice when I burned Joseph's book at his statue."

She was momentarily stunned and she wondered if she was that easy to read that he knew she was going to deny being afraid. She sat for another moment in silence pondering if she should skip answering the question. It wouldn't do any harm to tell him the truth.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The extension of her lungs aggravated her ribs, but she ignored the ache. "I was," she hesitated. It was instinct to always speak well of the Father, it was wrong to express her doubt in him. Anyone that spoke against the Father in any way was immediately branded a sinner and would be required to go through re-education. But Aiden had already found her note and never used it against her when he could have. That bit of knowledge helped give her the boost to keep speaking. "I was afraid to disappoint him. Anyone that was a disappointment were punished." She told him no more, technically she answered his question.

Aiden didn't look convinced, but he didn't press her for more information. She took another moment to think of another question. "Why didn't you just walk away when the Father gave you the choice? We would have let you and the others leave in peace."

The deputy shrugged one shoulder. "Walk away and let more people suffer? I had my doubts about what was going on in the county, more than half of our reports stated that there was nothing wrong going on and very few others mentioned the violence of the cult. And when we touched down and headed for Joseph's church, all of my doubts vanished when I saw your people carrying guns. I couldn't walk away and leave the people here to suffer even longer to wait for more backup."

Faith gave a weak shake of her head. "Always the hero, aren't you?"

The male before her grinned. "I wouldn't say a hero, but part of the reason why I went into law enforcement was to help people." He paused and glanced up at the ceiling and looked thoughtful, probably was thinking of a new question. After a moment he looked at her. "Before all this, what were your hobbies?"

Faith shook her head. "I didn't have any hobbies."

"Sure you did, who doesn't have hobbies? Or did you always sit around working out chemical formulas on how to create deadly flowers?"

The younger woman frowned. She was about to be insistent on her answer, but she thought better of it. If Aiden was as kind as he seemed, she could use his own question to her benefit. "All right, fine. I read books."

"Oh yeah? I hope you don't consider this another question as part of our game, since it still pertains to my previous question, but what kinda stuff do you read?"

Faith lifted an eyebrow in question.

"Hey, if you wanna do the same you're welcome to," Aiden added.

"Fine," Faith responded. Again, she was really indulging in his questions in hopes that he could give her some books to occupy her time. "Anything really, mostly fiction. Non-fiction kind of bores me, and I hate romance."

Aiden looked surprised. "What's wrong with romance? Some are really steamy and you can learn from some of the material."

Faith fought against a laugh. She shouldn't be enjoying their conversation. "Romance novels are terribly predictable." She paused and looked at the deputy like he grew a second head. "And I thought men detested romance novels."

The male shrugged. "I had an ex in college that loved the novels. One day I was bored and I took one of her books and started reading. They're not all bad. The Cougars have a huge collection of trashy romance novels as well, without internet it's the next best thing to porn."

This time Faith couldn't stop the laugh that erupted from her. When was the last time she laughed? She honestly couldn't remember.

Aiden brightened at her laughter.

"My turn," Faith announced. "Did…did John tattoo you? I see that you rub your chest a lot, and I can kind of see some of the writing peeking out of your shirt."

His hand immediately went to his chest, in the very spot she's seen him rub multiple times. "Yeah, he did," he responded softly.

"What sin did he give you?"

Aiden looked at her.

"What?" Faith shrugged. "You said we can still ask a question if it pertains to our previous one."

Aiden chuckled. "So I did." He grasped the neckline of his shirt and pulled it down to reveal the ugly tattoo. The sin he was given was wrath. It seemed fitting considering the man nearly single handedly ruined their Project. "It got infected to boot so it looks worse for wear. I'm thinking of getting a cover tattoo on it if I survive all of this."

It was odd to think that Aiden wouldn't survive, Faith thought. He seemed so indestructible.

The deputy covered the tattoo with his shirt. "And you? Any tattoos?"

She thought about refusing to answer, but her arm was automatically moving towards her sleeve and she rolled it to show the chemical formula that was marked on her forearm.

The man looked clueless as his eyes read the letters and numbers. "Is that the Bliss formula?"

Faith smiled. "Not exactly, though the Bliss is partially composed of this. It's the chemical formula for…two things, one of them is scopolamine."

"Huh," Aiden hummed. "So why get a tattoo of something that is for two things? Wouldn't it be interpreted the wrong way?"

The woman's smile became sad. "It reminds me of two things about myself. This formula also represents cocaine. I've…it's rarely injected, but when you do it makes you feel…happy." She heard Aiden sigh and he gave a slight nod. "And since the Bliss is partially composed by scopolamine, he found it fitting to give me a dose of it when he gave me my new name. So I had this tattoo to remind myself of my worst days and my best."

Aiden sighed again. "That's deep."

Faith started to feel a little stiff and readjusted her sitting position. Her movement caught Aiden's attention and his eyes drifted down towards her legs. "Why are you always barefoot? I can't imagine how much it must hurt."

Of all things to ask, this was the last thing Faith expected. She suddenly felt bashful being under his gaze. When she woke up she had socks on, but she forgot them in the shower room.

While it was an odd question, she had no reason to hide. "It's to symbolize The Path. To walk The Path you must be barefoot. It…does hurt, in the beginning. But the more you walk, the stronger your skin becomes."

Aiden was silent, but he had that calculating look in his eyes again. "That explains the path of blood I found."

Faith's eyes widened in surprise. "Have you walked The Path?"

The deputy nodded. "Yes, to get a better understanding of the cult. But I kept my shoes on. With all of the walking and running I've been doing lately the first or second layer of skin on the bottom of my feet has already peeled off."

That sounded quite painful. More so than her constantly walking barefoot. She at least had the luxury of traveling long distances by vehicle.

"And your white dress?"

Faith frowned. "What about it?"

"Is it your own fashion choice or was it Joseph's?"

"What does that matter?"

"Ah, ah," Aiden wiggled a finger at her. "You can't answer a question with a question."

"You never said that was against the rules," Faith argued.

The deputy shook his head and sighed. "I didn't think I had to. It doesn't seem very fair to answer a question with a question, now does it? Maybe I'll do the same so you can see how it feels?"

Faith rolled her eyes. It was another odd question, but she didn't think it was something to refuse to answer. "It was a gift from the Father when he gave me my new name."

"So do you wear the same one all the time or do you have like a dozen extras?"

Faith frowned. "Isn't it my turn to ask a question?"

Aiden grinned and shook his head. "Sorry. You're right. Ask away."

"Why do you wear that broken watch?"

The deputy's eyes widened slightly and he immediately put a hand over the watch. "It was a gift from my mother." He looked down on the accessory, his lips pulled into a sad smile. "It was the last thing she ever gave me."

"It's broken."

Aiden chuckled. "So it is. Still, I can't get rid of it."

"Why?"

He lifted his head and looked at her, the grin still plastered on his face. "That's two questions in a row."

It was strange that Faith felt her heart beat faster. She was always aware that the deputy was a handsome man. He had a square jaw, a perfectly straight nose that wasn't too large, high cheekbones, and pink full lips. He looked to have a day or two worth of stubble growing that matched the color of his hair, lighter than her own brown hair, but too dark to be blonde. But to see him grin at her made her heart flutter.

 _Stop it,_ she scolded herself. _He's pretty, but he still ruined your life._

Faith closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She was still human, she could still simply appreciate his looks even if he was an enemy.

"Listen, we can call it a day so you can rest," Aiden announced.

As tired as Fait felt, and despite her not wanting to play the question game earlier, now that she was having a somewhat conversation she wasn't eager to stop and return to unrestful sleep and nightmares. She was still nervous about Aiden leaving and having another visit from Jess or Tracey.

"No," she forced her eyes open and rubbed the tiredness from them. "It's your turn, isn't it?"

"That's right," the grin finally dropped from his face and he looked thoughtful. "So…is wearing the same dress a requirement from Joseph or a personal choice?"

Faith frowned. This man was oddly insistent on the most useless questions. And to think she was worried that he would be using the game to gather information about the Father.

"It's a personal preference," she answered, "it was a gift. The Father has been the only one to give me gifts. I cherished it so much and wore it so often it just…became a part of me. People almost didn't recognize me without it."

Aiden gave a single nod. "I see."

"Why do you care so much about my dress? You've wasted several questions asking about it."

A sigh escaped the deputy. "It's not the dress itself. It's more of…how to say it." He paused and looked out the small window. "A new name, a new image. To me, Joseph has taken your identity and replaced it with what he wants." He returned his gaze to her, his cyan eyes softened. "That's not love."

Anger boiled in Faith's chest. She knew he was trying to get inside her head and make her doubt the Father. Sure, things weren't ideal when she first joined the Project, but she knew the Father and his brothers loved her. "What would _you_ know about that?"

The deputy's eyes widened in surprise from her outburst. He didn't seem to mind the rules of their game since Faith asked a second question.

"Tell me, Faith." He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. By instinct Faith leaned away until her back pressed against the wall. "Didn't you have to earn Joseph's trust? There were other women with your name, after all."

Faith was about to deny or refuse to answer, but she remembered everything she told the deputy. And she wasn't sure how he knew about the other women that bore her name before her, but it seemed useless to deny it. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I know you wanted to be loved and feel special. And I'm sorry that you missed that growing up. Every person needs affection whether it's from family or a friend. But love is unconditional, it's selfless. If a person doesn't love or accept you for who _you_ are, then it isn't love."

Faith shook her head. "And what makes you such an expert on love?"

The older male leaned back on his chair. "I'm no expert, but…well I know how it is to want someone to love you and feel like you have to earn it." He paused to take a sip of his own bottle of water. "My father was a good husband to my mother, but he wasn't the best father. He was strict and never showed affection. So I grew up thinking I had to earn his love which was vastly different than my mother. I was fortunate that my mother was very caring and supportive."

The Bliss herald had the urge to ask the deputy where he was going with the story. She couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. Just because Aiden had one loving parent he was an expert on the emotion? Regardless, as much as she wanted to voice her thoughts and argue, she wasn't feeling well. She felt a little dizzy and even more tired, probably from the medicine she took earlier. So in a way she didn't mind taking a break from the talking.

The deputy kept his attention on his broken watch, a small sad smile on his face. "You see my mother passed away when I was eleven." He glanced up at her. "Cancer." He looked back down at his watch and ran a finger along the cracked glass. "I'll never forget this one day a year before she died. I grew up watching those horrible kid shows where the superheroes had those fancy watches that triggered their transformations and allowed them to communicate with the other superheroes. Well my father had this nice watch, and by nice I mean really, really expensive."

Faith continued to listen, as tired as she was and wanted to close her eyes.

"He only wore it on special occasions, so sometimes I took it while he was working. Well one day I not only cracked the glass but it fell into a puddle. When my father found out he was livid and it didn't help that he was drunk." Aiden lifted his head and watched Faith. She saw a deep sorrow in his eyes.

"You see he wasn't much of a drinker, but he indulged in a drink or two to relax whenever he had a stressful time with work. At that time he lost a friend of his who was killed while on duty. Plus he was hurting with my mother's illness, it was around the time the doctor told them that she'd only have a few months left. And the watch held a lot of sentimental value, it was passed down from his father. So when I broke it he just…snapped."

As he spoke, Aiden's voice became more rough. "My father never hit me. His presence was always lacking, but I always feared in angering him and my mom sometimes used him as a means to get me to behave. But he was so angry I was truly afraid that would be the first time he would strike me. But my mother," Aiden paused to shake his head, a small smile grew on his face. It was then that Faith noticed a scar that ran from the corner of his left nostril down to his chin. "Despite being so weak and sick, my mother stood up to my father. She protected me and I never looked up to my mother so much before. And I knew she loved my father dearly, and he loved her. Sometimes I felt like he loved her more than me. It was the only time they argued and fought and my mother kicked my father out. They eventually made up, but I never felt so guilty for causing that rift between them."

The junior deputy looked back out the window, Faith noticed how his eyes looked a little glassy. He took a deep breath then exhaled slowly. "About a year later my mother gave me this watch." He looked back down to the broken watch on his wrist. "She said she was saving it for when I graduated high school, but…she wanted me to have it. She died not long after. I thought her death would bring my father and I closer together but he was still distant, he took her death harder than me. So I spent the rest of my life trying to earn his love. I did everything I could to follow everything my father did, I joined the same sports teams that he did in high school and I went into law enforcement. All those things I did to earn his praise and love were things I wasn't really interested in, but I forced myself to do them simply because I wanted his attention. It…it wasn't worth it. I wasn't enjoying myself, I was miserable. And when my father half acknowledged the things I did it just drove me to try something else, to try harder."

Aiden looked to Faith again. "Our histories are no where near similar, I know that, but…I can still understand why you did the things you did to earn Joseph's favor. I know that feeling of wanting to feel special. But you deserve to feel loved for who _you_ are, Ra—Faith."

His near slip of her name did not escape her notice, and Faith was conflicted between fury and sorrow. Instead, the two emotions twisted in her chest and she exploded. "No one loved _her_ ," she snapped. "She was…always sad and alone."

She didn't like the way Aiden continued to look at her in pity. She may have wanted his pity when she was in a position to sway him, but now that she was powerless to do anything the pity only angered her.

"What about Tracey?"

Faith pressed her lips together into a line. "What about her?"

"You both were best friends, right? I'd say Tracey probably loved Rachel for who she was. You both drifted when you embraced the new identity Joseph grave you, didn't you?"

Faith shook her head. She wanted to continue to feel angry, but the more she thought about what the deputy told her she was at a loss of what to say. Eventually, she settled with, "as Faith I have a family. They're not perfect, but what family is? But they love me."

Aiden nodded, though there was still that look of pity on his face. "And if you didn't make the Bliss? If you didn't give into Joseph's threats and embraced his beliefs, would he still love you? Would his brothers still have accepted you?"

It was too much, Faith wasn't going to have this man try to plant doubt into her. But the worse part was that she was already thinking on his words. Deep down she did have some doubts, she was always worried of disappointing the Father to the point where she outlived her usefulness. It was when she wrote that confession and carelessly left it where Aiden found it. Now his words just made that doubt spread further.

"What other choice do I have?" Faith was too late to stop the words before they escaped her mouth. "Without them I have _nothing_!" Tears tickled at the edges of her eyes. "I have no friends, and now no family other than the Father. Without him…what do I do?"

She wasn't aware of the warmth on her arm until she looked down and saw Aiden's hand on her forearm. She wanted to pull away but her emotions were a mess and she simply welcomed the small gesture of comfort.

"It won't be easy," Aiden told her softly. "After everything that happened here, you will have to pay for your actions, Faith."

The younger woman closed her eyes and bowed her head down.

"But I'm confident you'll get through it. I'm not lying to you when I say that if you help us the sheriff and I will help _you_. And even though you didn't create the Bliss by yourself, and despite how it's been used by the cult, it's still an amazing thing that you've helped create with no formal education. Surely you are aware that the FBI have former criminals on their payroll simply for the amazing things they've achieved, right? I have every ounce of faith that when you are finally a free woman you'll have offers from all sorts of companies, universities, or even the FBI itself to see what else you can create."

Faith was at a loss of words. Part of her was screaming at her to ignore the false securities the deputy was trying to make her believe, but it was hard not to think on it.

Aiden finally pulled his arm away and leaned back on his chair. A small smile grew on his face, but this time it wasn't laced with pity or sorrow, it was a happy smile. "You're a Seed now. You own most of Hope County, especially the Henbane River region. When you do your time you'll have more money than you'll know what to do with. You can travel, go to school. There are people out there that will accept you for who you are."

Faith remained silent and just thought on his words. She knew better than to get her hopes up on most of what the deputy was saying, but it still helped clear the fog of despair she had been feeling ever since he saved her life.

"I won't force you to work with us against Joseph, but the offer will always be there. You help us and we will help you." Aiden reached over to her again and patted her arm. "Now why don't we play our questions game another time, or we can just talk? You look exhausted and," he paused and looked out the window, "I have some things to do before it gets late." He looked back at her and smiled. Faith noticed he had dimples when he gave smiled. "Rest. And let me know if you need anything."

He stood, picked up his chair, and walked out of the cell.

Faith sighed. She should ignore the hope that the deputy offered her, but she still couldn't help but dwell on it. Could she truly continue on alone without the Father? She was still in a vicious argument about it with herself. She didn't know how to be alone without depending on someone. She had Tracey when she didn't have to fear of being independent from her parents, and without Tracey she had the Father and his brothers. But without anyone she was terrified of being alone.

Thinking on it all just exhausted her mentally. For now, she had nothing to do but sleep and think. So she'd sleep now and think later.

Faith did her best to lie down without stirring any pain from her leg or ribs and was asleep before she took her fourth breath.

She woke up some time later, the darkness outside of the small window implied it was already in the evening, though how late she was unsure. It was quiet despite some light distant chatter from the lower level of the jail. Despite just waking up Faith still felt tired, but what had woken her were two things, she was hungry and needed to use the bathroom. Sadly, if anyone stopped by with dinner they didn't leave it in her cell. But a little hunger wouldn't hurt her, she's gone without a meal or two when she lived with her parents. It had just been a long time since she felt hungry, for the last few years anything she wanted she got. And Aiden had been right when he joked about her having her own personal chef.

The other need she needed to take care of she was a little hesitant. Even though the floor her cell was on was quiet and hopefully empty, she was worried she'd be using the toilet and someone would pass by and see her. She'd be mortified if it were Aiden or Jess that walked in on her.

 _May as well get used to it with where you're heading in your near future_ , Faith thought to herself.

Eventually she could wait no longer and she began to climb out of her cot. Once she was on her feet she noticed a group of people walking on the walkway on the opposite end of the floor. Her heart thumped faster in her chest when she recognized the three people walking together were Tracey, Jess, and the woman with the American flag scarf. It took a moment for her to remember her name was Grace. Just seeing Tracey and Jess together brought a bad feeling in her gut and anxiety began to gnaw on her nerves. Whatever they were discussing it couldn't be good news. Thankfully they didn't walk towards her end of the level, instead they headed for the exit and disappeared from view.

Faith remained where she stood and waited to see if the women came back into view. She was afraid they would enter through the closest entrance from her and head towards her cell. But after a minute or two they didn't reappear. Still, seeing Tracey and Jess together left a building sense of fear as she was aware they both were not above hurting her.

Unfortunately, there was nothing Faith could do but wait to see what was in store for her. And it only made her think further on Aiden's offer. If she were to help the resistance against the Father, would she be treated any better for it? Or, as she was most fearful of, would she be killed once she outlived her usefulness? It was so frustrating to be so worried and conflicted.

One thing was for sure, Faith couldn't remain in the lion's den. She just hoped she could avoid Tracey and Jess long enough to be able to make her escape.

* * *

A/N: Apologies for another delayed update. I blame the two greatest games of the year so far (RE2 and KH3) for eating up a lot of my free time, lol. Sadly, there was a lot more I wanted to include in Aiden and Faith's conversation/game, but things don't always go as planned when it comes to writing. But there will always be another chapter.


	14. Plans

Ambivalence

Chapter 13: Plans

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Aiden peered out of a window for the umpteenth time. Speaking to Faith took a little longer than he planned, he still needed to go scavenge for supplies with some of the Cougar's scouts. And preferably he wanted to be out while the sun was up.

The junior deputy was just making his final preparations with making sure all of his weapons were cleaned and loaded. With the influx of resistance members and their family members residing in the prison their ammunitions supply also took a hit. But Aiden was able to secure decent weapons, an assault rifle and more ammo for his standard issued handgun he received along with his deputy badge. It survived a lot and he miraculously managed to not lose it.

He had just packed his weapons and spare ammo to his holsters and pockets when he sensed another presence in the cell. There was only one person that could sneak up on him without him hearing them or, in Hurk and Sharky's case, smell them.

"Jess," Aiden said her name without turning around. He fished out his jacket that he had been using as a blanket and sniffed it. Eh, it smelled decent enough so he put it on. He turned around and found Jess watching him.

"You ready yet? We're waiting," Jess said, a small trace of annoyance could be heard in her tone.

Aiden frowned. "We?" His eyebrows rose to his hairline once he quickly figured what the huntress implied.

He looked over his friend and could immediately notice the way her eyes were narrowed. While Jess' face was almost always in a frown, they've spent enough time together to easily read each other's body language. And right now the way Jess kept her eyes narrowed told him she wasn't as annoyed as her tone implied, as she normally is when she's waiting on him, but he could safely bet she had a headache.

Aiden pulled the handgun from his holster and tapped the butt of it on the bars of his cell. Immediately, Jess hissed and scrunched up her eyes, followed by her letting out a line of curses. Then she glared at him.

"No way," Aiden shook his head. "You can't come along." He quickly held up a hand to stop Jess from arguing, not that it really worked. Jess swore at him.

"Hell no," Jess argued. "I'm going with. There are Peggies to kill."

The deputy shook his head. "Jess, I know you're still hurting." He moved his pistol back towards the cell bars and tapped them again. The sound had the same effect on Jess as before.

"Stop that!" She cupped a hand to her forehead.  
"I'm only tapping them. Even though you use a bow, the scouts and I use firearms. And then if we run into any Peggies they'll have their own loud guns as well. How will you handle those sounds?" Aiden holstered his firearm. "I'm sorry but you need to stay here and rest."

Jess swore again. "We've been here for days! I've _been_ resting."

"I know that," Aiden said, his face softened in sympathy.

He was well enough aware that sitting idle for so long bored Jess. Staying busy with hunting and fighting against the cult was her coping mechanism to keep her own trauma at bay. If she wasn't busy she was prone to nightmares and panic attacks, both of which were very frequent when she had nothing to do but sleep off the lingering headaches caused by the concussion he was responsible for, which made him feel extraordinarily guilty about. He was glad that Jess didn't hold it against him.

"Please," he slowly stepped towards her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. He immediately felt her muscles stiffen at the contact, and her not pulling away from him was another indicator of the pain she was in. "Out of everyone I trust you to have my back the most." It was a compliment he told her so frequently whenever they took a breather to lick their wounds when they traveled through Hope County. He said it so much she ceased scolding him for patronizing her.

He tightened his grip slightly. "So when we find the Father I _need_ you to be at your best. And I know you'll want that killing shot on him."

Jess took a moment to glare at him, but eventually her face softened. "You serious? I thought you wanted to arrest him."

Aiden pulled away and sighed. He kept his voice low. "Honestly? My gut says the confrontation with him isn't going to go well. I'm sure he'll pull out some hidden ace from his sleeve and in the end he'll have to be killed. Hell, I think the sheriff feels the same way."

Jess sighed, all fight deflated from her. "Okay, fine, I'll stay," she said begrudgingly. "But when you get back I want a headcount of how many of those sons of bitches you killed."

The male smiled. "Of course." Before he stepped out he thought about pressing his luck with persuasion on Jess to see if she would tell him what happened between her and Faith, but he felt that topic was still a bit sensitive between them. He'd wait until she was one hundred percent before having that conversation with her.

"Well," Aiden announced as he inched closer to his cell's exit. "I better get going. And please don't underestimate those headaches. I've had a concussion or two when I played football in high school. The headaches mean you still need to rest and heal."

"Yeah, yeah." Jess waved a hand. The junior deputy managed a step out of his cell when Jess made him halt. "Aiden, wait."

He paused and turned to fully face her. "What's up?"

She looked conflicted for a moment, her eyebrows lowered in a frown. Finally, her blue eyes lifted to look at him. "Remember what I said back then when we went into that Bliss filled cave? How it made me see you as a…an Angel."

"I remember," Aiden replied. His chest tightened in sympathy. He couldn't imagine having to see any of his friends as an Angel.

"Well…be careful out there, all right?"

A small smile grew on Aiden's face. "I will," he promised. He nodded and caught himself before saying good-bye. Jess had a thing against saying good-byes, she considered them bad luck. So he simply turned and left.

* * *

"You okay there, Jess?"

Jess stopped rubbing her temples and looked up at Tracey. "Fine."

Tracey frowned, she didn't believe the woman but wasn't willing to push it. She shrugged and kept leading Jess and Grace towards the hall that led to the third floor stairs and facilities. Technically Tracey wasn't an official member of Aiden's social circle that would require her to pitch in with guarding Rachel, but Jess had wanted to speak with her.

All three women headed into the laundry room on the appearance of doing just that, their laundry, to avoid suspicion from the cousins, Sharky and Hurk, and the sheriff. The room was relatively small, since all floors had one, and it was completely void of anything other than a few tables, empty carts, and of course the large washing and drying machines.

Jess immediately jumped up to sit on a table, Grace leaned against a washing machine that was directly in front of the entrance, and Tracey stood in the middle of the two women.

"So what did you want to discuss?" Tracey asked the hooded woman.

"There was something you said to Aiden," Jess began, "during one of our meetings with the sheriff. When we were talking about the flower bitch you told Aiden he wasn't convincing enough."

Tracey figured that's what Jess was going to want to talk about. She didn't know Jess too well, but she knew enough that the woman wanted Faith and every single Peggie dead.

"I was there," Jess continued, "when we went into the flower bitch's bunker. I heard you telling Aiden how to navigate the place and how to shut it down. And I know that's information you didn't know yourself. So what did you do to get Faith to talk?"

Tracey shrugged, there was no reason for her to lie or avoid telling the woman anything. They both were on the same side, and they all wanted to find the Father. They were so close to ending this war and without the Father there would be no cult, they'd fall with him.

"There really isn't a secret tactic of anything. Faith is still human, she hurts just as we hurt," Tracey confessed. "And when she hurts she wants it to stop, just like any other person."

A small smile grew on the corner of Jess's face.

"There's only one problem with that," the other woman in the room, Grace, announced. Tracey almost forgot about her, she was so quiet and hadn't moved from her position.

Jess sighed. "Aiden, I know. But he said he wanted her alive. If we rough Faith up a little she'll technically still be alive."

Grace shook her head. "I don't think it'll be wise to test Aiden's trust in us."

Tracey shrugged. "I know he's the unofficial leader, but he ain't in control of all of you. What could he do? He can't force any of you to do anything."

"It's not so much of what the deputy could or could not do to _us_. If he doesn't trust us to keep Faith alive what if he takes her elsewhere? He had her somewhere else before the prison," Grace explained.

"He kept her in a small, personal bunker not far from here," Tracey admitted. Both women looked at her. "He asked me for a favor if he didn't survive Rachel's gate."

Jess interrupted, "who the hell is Rachel?"

Tracey still had her mouth open when she was interrupted. "Rachel is Faith's real name," she shrugged. "We were friends before the Father and his brothers came along. It's still a habit to call her by her real name." She shook her head. "Anyway, I don't think Aiden would be stupid enough to take Rachel to that bunker again if he decided it was not safe to keep her here."

Jess slammed her fist down on the table she sat on. "I don't understand why the hell Aiden wants to keep her alive! She's only useful by the information she can give us."

Tracey wasn't sure if believed the same way, there was still that one tiny stubborn part of her that wanted to believe Rachel was still somewhere in Faith, but the bigger part of her felt the same way Jess did. "I wanted her dead once, but there's no doubt that the information she gave to help you guys at her bunker made things a lot easier, probably saved lives too. Even if she doesn't know where the Father or the Chosen are, her knowledge of the supplies the cult hoarded and hid can be just as helpful to us."

Jess nodded. "Oh I _know_ that flower bitch knows where the Father is hiding."

"Maybe that could be why the deputy is keeping her alive," Grace suggested. "It's more useful to have Faith alive than dead."

Jess swore in response. "It's a mistake to keep her alive! She may be helpful now if it means to keep herself alive, but eventually she'll betray us. I know it. What's the worst Aiden can do if I just kill her?"

Something clicked in Tracey's head, she remembered something the deputy told her when he first confessed to her that he kept Rachel alive. "He can arrest you."

Jess laughed in response. "You're serious?"

Tracey nodded. "He implied as much, when he stressed how important it is for no one other than us to know that she's still alive. If anyone tried to 'take justice into their own hands' he would be forced to arrest them."

"It's one thing to kill for self-defense," Grace explained. "Like the deputy did with John and Jacob. But it's another to kill a prisoner that's helpless."

"The flower bitch is anything but helpless," Jess argued. There was a calculating look in her eyes and the room was silent for a moment, then she sighed. "But I get what you're saying." She paused and swore again. "And I won't doubt that Aiden won't keep to his word about that. Even if it was me."

"So killing her is out of the picture, for now," said Tracey. "I don't doubt she may try something later, but for now she's at our mercy. Which makes it the best time to get her to talk."

Jess looked thoughtful for a moment. "Question is how can we get her to talk without making it obvious to the sheriff or Aiden? And what if the flower bitch rats us out?"

"Well," Grace countered, " _she_ doesn't know that we ultimately won't kill her." She looked at Jess. "She had the opportunity to rat you out to Aiden, didn't she?"

Tracey tilted her head in interest. "Why would she rat you out to the rook?"

Jess audibly growled, her hands tightened into fists. "When Aiden and I went to get those medical supplies, I found an old friend who had been turned into a zombie. Or Angel, whatever the hell the flower bitch calls them." She sighed angrily. "I may have taken out my anger on her yesterday."

"Ah," Tracey replied. "And she didn't tell Aiden about that?"

"She didn't," Grace confirmed. "And there are ways to weaken a person, both physically and mentally, to make them vulnerable into talking. It's just a matter of time."

"Time that we might not have," Tracey reminded them. With the Chosen attacking the strongholds they worked so hard to take over, they were easily taken out by the Chosen's aircrafts. The jail would be just as vulnerable to air attacks. "But we can still try your tactics. If it looks like our time is running low then we may have to use Jess' methods."

The hooded woman grinned again. "So what are these methods you have in mind, Grace?"

The veteran shrugged. "We can't outright starve her, for one. But we can decrease her meals. Hunger can make anyone desperate."

Jess scoffed at that. "Damn right it will. And she doesn't deserve a single crumb of our rations."

"The sheriff and Aiden take Rachel her meals sometimes," said Tracey. "But they both can be busy at times, so we can always volunteer to feed her."

"I wouldn't recommend doing anything to her food, or giving her anything spoiled," Grace explained. "It can be noticeable if she gets ill, or if she doesn't eat the food and Aiden or the sheriff see it was tempered with."

"Agreed," Tracey stated. "So we make her a little hungry. Dehydrating her would make things so much faster, but she has access to water in her cell. Any other ideas?"

"Faith doesn't drink the water from the tap," Grace pointed out. "I've noticed she only drinks bottled water."

Both Tracey and Jess' eyes narrowed in thought. "We've taken control of the water plant so the water is clean," Tracey replied.

"Then why does she refuse to drink the water?" said Grace. "I guess that's more information we can pull from her."

"Roughing her up a little can't hurt," Jess muttered. She looked at Grace. "I won't hurt her too badly, nothing broken. And I won't hurt her where clothes won't hide the bruises."

"Roughing her up may be a good thing," Tracey agreed. "If anything it'll remind her of her history. Trust me, the more helpless she feels the more she'll cave to whatever we ask of her."

Both women nodded. Jess slid off the table slowly. "With Aiden gone today I just might start taking out some anger."

"Just remember not to go overboard, Jess." Grace reminded her.

"Yeah, yeah," Jess waved her hand as she headed for the exit. "What made you change your mind about this anyway, Grace? I thought you would be against this."

The veteran shrugged. "Like you both have said, she knows information that can help us end all of this. Despite everything the deputy has done for us, we can use every advantage we can take."

Tracey stayed behind and watched as Jess slapped Grace on the back as they both exited the room. As she stood in the empty, silent room she contemplated on one of her own ideas to make Rachel both miserable and willing to talk. She had a few people to chase down.

* * *

Faith cursed and fought the urge to hop on one foot and favor her stubbed toe. But if she did that, she'd be putting all of her weight on her bad leg, which still wasn't strong enough to support her weight on it. She had been slowly walking about her cell all day to rebuild her strength, but doing so left her feeling fatigued. Thus that was how she spent her day, walking for a few minutes and then slept for an hour, only to wake up and do it all over again.

Her progress was slow. In the morning a few steps left her leg throbbing. By the afternoon she was surprised the sheriff passed by to offer her a can of mixed fruit and a water bottle with the same tablet Aiden gave her the day before. Then the sheriff left without a word. It was a little difficult to read his facial expression with his large hat and his bushy mustache covering most of his face, but she could still see a bit of a frown on his face.

As hungry as she was, she inhaled the fruit greedily and practically licked the remaining syrup in the can. She was still hungry, but knew she was in no place to ask for more food. But she was grateful she was given something to keep the hunger pain away.

The remainder of her day she continued walking and resting, but the longer she walked the longer her leg throbbed. When the small window in her cell showed the sky darkening she was worried she overtaxed herself with how her leg began to burn. But she was somewhat glad that the pain distracted her from her thoughts.

Throughout the day there was rarely anyone that walked by on the floor, on her side or the opposite. Then when she heard footsteps approaching her cell she felt both excited in hopes that it was Aiden, spending the whole day alone left her eager to have a conversation with him, and she felt nervous to receive a visit from Jess again.

Upon first seeing a hoodie her heart beat painfully faster in her ribcage, but then she recognized it was Tracey standing outside of her cell. Seeing her former friend still made her palms sweat in fear.

Faith watched as Tracey uncovered a ring key that was strapped to her wrist and unlocked her cell door. Once the other woman stepped into her cell Faith took a step back until she felt her cot bump against the back of her calves.

"Take a seat," Tracey said softly.

It was difficult for Faith to hide her fear, but she did as she was told and sat on her cot. When Tracey left her hands it was instinct for her to shut her eyes in anticipation of a strike. When she felt nothing she opened her eyes and watched as Tracey simply pulled her hood down. The woman then paced back and forth in her tiny cell and seemed to have focused on something on the ground. Faith followed her gaze and saw that Tracey spotted the empty water bottles she left on the floor beside her bed.

"So a little birdy told me that you don't like the tap water," Tracey began.

Faith swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. She wondered if Aiden had mentioned it to her. "It's not that I don't _like_ the water," she began to explain.

Tracey rolled her eyes. "Can it, Rachel. You never had a problem drinking the local water before. So spill, what's wrong with it?"

It still annoyed her to be called by the name she had abandoned, but she didn't feel like fighting with Tracey. Even worse, she didn't feel like getting hurt. "There's nothing wrong with the water."

Tracey took a step towards her, it was another instinct for Faith to push herself as far back as she could. She felt trapped when her back hit the hard wall. Then her former friend smiled.

"In that case," she bent down and picked up one of the empty water bottles before she headed for the sink and filled it with water. "Then you won't mind drinking some, you look a bit parched."

Faith pretended to look nonchalant. She shrugged a shoulder and accepted the offered bottle. Drinking a little of it wouldn't hurt. She tilted it back and gulped down a few mouthfuls. To emphasize her distaste, she grimaced at the taste. Not that she had to act all that much. Years of drinking only bottled water and she could immediately taste the difference with the tap water which almost tasted like the rustic looking sink it came from.

"Huh," Tracey muttered as she watched her.

"What do you want, Tracey?" Faith asked.

Her former friend shrugged. "What, I can't stop by to say hi to my old best friend?"

Faith narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't waste your time coming here just to say hi."

Tracey barked out a laugh. "Yeah, you're right. I stopped by to offer…a bit of advice."

The shorter woman frowned.

When she remained silent Tracey continued, but not before she leaned towards her. "You see I'm not the only one that thinks the stuff you keep in there," she jabbed a finger against Faith's forehead, "can be useful. And I don't think I have to remind you of just how we can get you to talk."

Faith was just about to ask who she was referring to as "we" but before she could say anything she felt a tight pressure on her bullet wound. Needles and a bright hot pain erupted from her leg. She didn't have to look down to know that Tracey was pressing against it. She tried to keep herself from crying out, from giving Tracey that satisfaction, but she was helpless to stop the yelp that escaped.

As quickly as it started, the tight grip on her leg loosened. Before Tracey could hurt her again, Faith curled up on herself and protected her leg with her hands. She wasn't aware she was crying until a water droplet fell onto the back of her hand.

"What do you want?" Faith whispered.

"Answers," Tracey replied nonchalantly. "Where's the Father?"

Faith shook her head. "I don't know." She tightened into a ball tighter to protect the more sensitive parts of her body. After a moment she heard Tracey sigh.

"I really hate to do this, ya know, Rachel?"

"That's not my name," she replied.

Tracey shook her head and took a few steps back. Faith's ears perked when she heard another set of footsteps approach her cell. Her heart soared in hopes that it was Aiden. But when she saw Jess step into view her heart dropped down to her stomach. Cold perspiration formed on her brow and she swallowed another lump that formed, this time with great difficulty due to her mouth suddenly becoming dry.

By whatever miracle, Jess didn't step into the cell. She simply stood behind them and grinned at her. Movement caught her attention and she looked back to Tracey who was pulling something out of her pocket.

"I'm sure this brings back memories," Tracey waved the item in her face. After a quick moment Faith recognized the item as a syringe. Then her former friend offered it to her. "Take it."

Unsure of what was in the syringe, Faith shook her head. Though she had her suspicions of what was in it based on Tracey's implication. "I don't do that anymore."

"Really?" Tracey sounded surprised. "I know the cult is against usage of drugs and alcohol. What was it again? It 'taints our temple that is our body?'" She stepped away from her and pulled out a small roll of duct tape. She turned towards the sink and taped the syringe to the back of the toilet. "I'm sure after a few more questions from my friend here you'll be gladly wanting what's in that syringe."

With that, Tracey winked at her and stepped out of the cell. With the cell door still open, Jess finally stepped inside.

With her leg throbbing and incapable of going anywhere, Faith pushed herself against the wall and helplessly watched Jess slowly approach her. Her heart hammered in her chest so hard she felt lightheaded.

All she could do was hope and pray that Aiden would appear and interrupt whatever hurt was coming her way.

* * *

A/N: A bit late on uploading, and the chapter is a bit shorter than I wanted, but as someone awesome (Akira Hayama) has been saying, sometimes a story needs to slow down. And there are some small details in this one that will be important in later chapters. Thank you to those that take the time to let me know their thoughts, you're all great!


	15. Deprivation

Ambivalence

Chapter 14: Deprivation

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Faith did her best to keep herself from looking fearful, but the closer Jess stepped towards her the more her stoic expression fell. Her eyes caught the movement of Jess' hand reaching for belt. As quiet as the cell was, and despite the sound of Faith's blood pounding in her ears, she still heard the distinct sound of metal scraping against leather. Even though the top floor had fairly dim lighting, light reflected off the blade of the hunting knife Jess held.

The shorter woman desperately tried to think of a plan, not so much of a way to escape her cell, but at least some plan for her to be able to defend herself. But all she had was a box of clothes and personal supplies, not exactly durable items to deflect a knife. And with her leg throbbing even more painfully than before, and with her back pressed against the wall, Faith was cornered.

Jess wasn't only silent, she was quick as well. She quickly closed the distance between them and pressed her free hand against the wall just next to Faith's head. Then she saw the silver color of the blade again, Jess tauntingly moved the knife close to her right eye. Faith nearly whimpered as she waited for the horrible agony that would result in being stabbed and she almost begged the woman not to do it.

Her breathing came out labored which began to make her feel lightheaded. When the blade's cold, sharp edge pressed against her cheek she shut her eyes.

"Let's try this again," Jess whispered into her ear. Faith hadn't expected to hear her voice so close to her ear, she opened her eyes and found Jess leaning towards her. "How about we play a game of our own?"

Faith swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and nearly choked on the sob that fought to escape, but she wouldn't show such weakness in front of Jess and Tracey. At least not when she could help it. But speaking of Tracey…her blue eyes drifted to the side and found that her former friend was no longer present on the other side of the cell's bars. Dread flooded her gut. Jess had to be kept in check back in the shower room when her beatings steadily became worse. But now that she was alone with her, who would stop Jess if she succumbed to her anger completely?

A sudden slap of the flat side of the knife on her cheek jarred her from her thoughts.

"Hey, eyes over here," Jess warned, "as I was saying, the rules of our little game are simple. I ask a question and you say the truth. If you lie then you get hurt. If you try to bring attention to yourself you'll get hurt worse. Got it?"

Faith glared at the standing woman and received another slap from the flat side of the knife as a result. There was a sharp sting on her cheek and she wondered if the knife cut skin.

"Just like that. Only next time you won't get off so easily." Jess brought the tip of the blade to Faith's throat. "Answer truthfully and you'll be rewarded. You've been hungry lately, haven't you? And I bet that leg has been hurting like a bitch. Who knows, maybe we'll even throw something in to help you sleep. All that sounds good, yeah? And all you have to do is answer some questions. Truthfully."

Faith frowned at the last thing she said. She hadn't had any difficulties sleeping. Nonetheless, she remained silent. Jess pulled away from her and Faith quickly shut her eyes to brace herself for another slap, but a moment passed and nothing struck her.

"Let's get started," Jess slid her knife back into its sheath. Faith eyed it and wondered if she'd be fast enough to steal it. "Where is the Father hiding?"

The sitting woman nearly sighed in exasperation, but she quickly turned it into a deep inhale. She was still fearful of what would happen to her if she simply stated she didn't know. "The Father has access to many hidden locations in Hope County, from smaller personal bunkers to hideouts in caves. Some locations I'm aware of, some I'm not. He could be anywhere so I honestly don't know."

Jess sighed and shook her head. "What did I say about lying?"

"I'm not lying!"

The hooded woman's eyes darkened. Her voice dropped into a harsh whisper. "And what did I say about bringing attention to yourself?"

Faith felt her heart drop to her stomach. Jess moved so fast her arms almost looked like a blur, Faith blinked and suddenly felt a cold hand pressed against her mouth. She struggled but a sharp pain in her gut knocked the air out of her lungs. With the hand on her mouth it was difficult to breathe. Memories of her attack in the shower made her panic, she was desperate to escape, she just wanted to breathe. By instinct, she bit at the hand on her mouth and promptly regretted it.

Jess' eyes went from dark to fury.

Another hit connected with Faith's torso, she suddenly felt like she was going to be sick. Before she could even think about trying not to be sick, Jess dug her fingers just behind her earlobes and both pushed in and pulled her up from the bed. The pain was brief, but intense. Once she was on her feet Jess gripped her shoulders and pushed her, but with something placed directly behind one of her feet, she could only fall back onto the cold, dirty ground.

She knew to curl up and protect her head as much as possible, she turned so she laid on her side, pressed her knees against her chest and wrapped her arms around her head.

Jess was unfortunately stronger than her. She thumped her with a foot so she was laying on her back again and looking up at the ceiling. Hands pulled Faith's arms away from her face. She caught a quick glimpse of a white object before darkness enveloped her. Then she couldn't breathe. Faith realized Jess was trying to smother her with her pillow.

She panicked again. She tried to focus on breathing but she couldn't manage to inhale anything but the fabric. Even though she couldn't breathe she still managed to cry out when something heavy pressed against her bullet wound. It was maddening, she wanted to scream but she couldn't suck in any air. The pillow lifted and she greedily inhaled as much air as she could. In that brief moment she saw that Jess had her knee pressed against her bad leg.

Then it was over. Jess stood up, tossed the pillow onto the bed, and simply looked down on Faith in contempt.

Between the pain and trying to fill her lungs with oxygen, Faith was grateful for the moment of peace. She didn't even mind the way Jess watched her with scrutiny. As her breathing slowed, she noticed the way Jess' hands kept tightening into fists and her jaw continuously clenched and unclenched. She was holding herself back.

As the pain in her leg and head faded, Faith became aware of something warm and wet rolling down her face. At first she thought it was blood, but then her vision blurred, and a blink later she felt another drop roll down her cheek, she hated to cry in front of the hooded woman.

Jess plopped down onto Faith's cot, she casually lifted one leg and crossed it over the other and extracted her knife again, but she simply thumbed the edge of it. Still, Faith's heart beat faster as her mind played out the many different horrors she feared Jess would do to her with that knife. Sadly, she was so exhausted her body felt heavy and sluggish. She was at the hooded woman's complete mercy.

"There's one final rule I forgot to mention," Jess announced, her voice dripped with sarcasm. "But before I get to that, I'm curious, did you work with Jacob at all?"

Faith swallowed. "No, not really." She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep she was so tired. "Only time we collaborated was when he tested coating certain weapons with the Bliss."

"Were you aware of the things he did to people?"

Faith was silent for a moment. Then she cursed herself for hesitating. If she lied Jess would probably see right through it. "There were always rumors of the things he did. I knew enough of his camps that conditioned people."

Jess scoffed. "'Conditioned?' That's a watered down way of saying it. Then you're aware of how he brain washed people, good people, to do things he was too weak himself to do."

Faith hadn't realized she closed her eyes until Jess jabbed her with her foot.

"You and the Father preach about how the cult is for our own good, but you both allow people like Jacob and his followers to torture and kill." Jess paused. There was a distant look in her eyes for a moment before she sheathed her knife. "I can hear your stomach, you know."

Honestly, Faith wasn't aware that her stomach had been growling until the hooded woman pointed it out. It was odd to feel her stomach gurgle for food but hurt from the blows at the same time. She pressed one of her hands to her abdomen in hopes the pain and growling would stop.

"Tell me," Jess uncrossed her legs and leaned towards the edge of the cot. "Have you ever been so hungry that you'd eat whatever was thrown on the ground?"

Silence filled the air and Faith didn't think she had to answer until it was too late, Jess kicked at her thigh. She _really_ hated that everyone seemed to be focusing only on her bullet wound to inflict pain. She curled and cradled her leg, all while trying to stifle the sob that still sought to escape.

"Of course you don't. It takes _days_ of no food to be so desperate you'd resort to cannibalism."

The injured woman looked up sharply.

"Yeah. One of Jacob's men had a fondness of starving people. Hell, I watched as he starved _children_ and fed them pieces of their own parents."

Faith grimaced in revulsion, but she still noted the way Jess looked away and swallowed hard. She took a moment to breathe through her nose. Her hands began to tighten into fists again and Faith feared she'd take her anger out on her again.

"I grew up here too. I know a few places that only my grandmother knew existed. Places that you and your sick, twisted cult doesn't know about. So you breathe one word about all this to Aiden, not even _he_ will be able to stop me from taking you on a little field trip. And on that little trip, I'll show you how hungry you have to be to be willing to eat another person."

Jess climbed to her feet and walked over Faith. Thankfully she didn't step on or kick her on the way out.

Faith exhaled in relief now that the woman was gone. She slowly sat up, but grunted when her bruised stomach complained at the movement. The pain became too much and she fell back onto the floor. She decided to try a different approach and rolled onto her stomach and just pushed herself off the floor. Without the usage of one leg she had to use the toilet and sink for leverage to help her climb to her feet.

She limped towards the cot and promptly laid on it. Her whole body hurt, all she needed was a few hours of sleep, of peace. Her eyes were only closed for a minute before she opened them upon realizing something. She rolled her head and was able to catch a glimpse of the object that Tracey taped to the back of the toilet. After everything she endured she deserved just a few moments of peace.

 _No, not again._

Faith tore her gaze away and stared up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes again and waited for sleep. The last of her thoughts before she finally fell asleep were that only Rachel would have gone for that taped item. She wasn't Rachel anymore, she would resist the temptation.

An unknown time later, she was awaken by something striking her head. The impact didn't hurt, but it was enough to completely frighten her. She had been in such a deep sleep that being awoken so suddenly left her feeling confused. Her cell was empty, so what hit her? She had been laying where her head was close to the cell bars…

Faith peeked out of her cell but didn't see anyone. If there had been anyone they already passed. Well, she laid back onto her cot, this time with her feet being closer to the bars, and waited for her heart to slow down. As she waited, she tried to listen to the background sounds. There was light chatter, but the voices were very distant. She even managed to hear a few people laughing.

It was strange to think that the resistance were on the brink of elimination with the Father calling upon the Chosen to finish them off, they were low on supplies, and yet they were in good spirits to laugh? Laughter was so rare in the cult, their mission always took priority. Faith pushed aside those thoughts.

Looking out the window showed a sunlit sky. But with nothing else to do but sit and wait, Faith figured sleeping would be the better option. It would allow her to ignore the pain of her wound and bruises. Before she did though, she ran her tongue around inside her mouth to try to create moisture. She had long since drained all of her water bottles and her struggle with Jess left her thirsty, but she wasn't so thirsty that she'd drink from the tap.

Within moments, sleep came easier to the Bliss Harold.

It happened again. Someone grabbed her foot and jarred her awake. There was definitely someone on the other side of the bars that grabbed her, but by the time she looked she only managed to see their shadow as they walked away.

It was odd that she kept being woken up, and frankly it was becoming annoying. No doubt it was probably another one of Jess' tactics to mess with her. As tired as she felt, however, she chose to stay awake. She brushed her hair out after it had become a tangled mess during her scuffle earlier, and she tried to walk around again but her leg wasn't having it. Any weight placed on it threatened to buckle her knee so she sat on the cot and just continued to listen to all the noises outside of her cell. The voices were too distant to be able to make out what exactly was being said, but it was all she could do.

Her thoughts returned to finding a way out, but unless she swiped the key ring she's noticed Tracey and Jess have used to unlock and lock her cell there was no way she was getting out. The window was too high up for her to reach, and not to mention it was blocked off with bars as well. She was aware of the floor plans of the jail, she studied them before when she tried to root out the resistance, so if she managed to escape she would be able to quickly get out.

She looked down at her leg and sighed. Maybe that was why Tracey and Jess always focused on hurting her leg, the longer they delayed her injury from improving, the less likely she'd try to fight back and escape.

No, she would have to think of a different way to escape.

The rest of the day and evening, the cycle of her sleeping and being awoken continued. Other than the window, Faith had no sense of time to tell how long she'd be asleep before she would be woken up. But once night fell it felt like she was allowed longer periods of sleep.

By the next morning she was so very tried, and cranky. Worse, it seemed Jess did intend to starve her. After she awoken some time in the morning, she spotted an open but empty can by her cell door. She wasn't sure what was inside of it, by the broth she guessed some sort of soup or a stew, but she was left with nothing but a mouthful of the broth. Of course it did nothing to ease the hunger pains that were beginning to kick in, but at least she was given a bottled water. As much as she wanted to drain it in one gulp, she decided to ration it for the day.

The remainder of her day she spent alone, which she was grateful for. Her leg still hurt, but the bruises on her torso were just that, bruises. She couldn't walk much, and if she tried to get any sleep she was constantly being woken up. Even if she curled into the far corner of her cell she would still be woken up by something loudly banging against the bars.

By nightfall the black woman, Grace, arrived to escort her to the shower room. Faith would have been delighted to be able to shower, but the memories of the events that transpired the last time she showered at the jail left her feeling terrified instead. She was also instructed to take her dirty laundry so she could wash them after the shower. While Grace seemed to be calm and patient, Faith didn't want to evoke any anger or impatience from her so she scrambled to get her things ready as quickly as possible.

Because of the abuse her leg received in the past day she couldn't walk without a heavy limp. Thankfully Grace didn't grow impatient with her slow pace. Her heart threatened to pump out of her chest as she approached the shower room, fearing to find Tracey or Jess waiting for her, but the room was empty and she was left alone to shower and do her laundry. Even when she returned to her cell she was left in peace.

After she brushed her hair, Faith laid on her cot again. If she was still going to be poked awake even if she placed herself as far away from the bars as possible, she may as well be comfortable on the cot instead of the hard ground.

As exhausted as she was, she couldn't sleep. She was afraid of how she would be woken up as time passed. Sometimes some sort of trash was thrown at her, an empty water bottle or an empty can, sometimes something hard struck her over the head or her foot. How long would it be until they chose more painful means to wake her up? What Jess said earlier about her having difficulties sleeping made sense now. If she gave them the information they wanted they'd let her sleep uninterrupted.

Should she give them the information they wanted? She could finally have a full, warm meal and sleep through the night. She wouldn't have to live in fear all the time.

 _Or they will kill me_ , Faith thought darkly.

No, she couldn't trust them. And she wouldn't give up so quickly. She couldn't let the Father down. He already thought she was dead, probably. The least thing she wanted was to lose his trust.

And then where was Aiden? She knew he left to get supplies for the resistance, but how long would it take for him to get back? Thanks to her window she guessed it had been about two days since he left. Now she wished for his presence for more than just company, without him it gave Tracey and Jess the opportunity to torment her. But even if he did return, she couldn't be sure if their treatment of her would cease.

Her thoughts ceased once sleep finally claimed her.

* * *

They were down to eating stew for dinner now. Whatever left overs, not that there were much anymore, and the game some of the scouts and hunters brought was thrown into boiling water. The Cougars still had a lot of canned food, but it was being saved for emergencies.

"No meat for me," Jess told the people that were running the kitchen for the night.

The kid serving her looked no older than fourteen or fifteen. He was taller than her, but skinny, he still sported his baby face but there was a little stubble growing on the bottom of his chin. Jess hated to see the kids. When she had nothing to do she would sometimes watch kids chase each other in their little cells. She was somewhat glad to see them continue on with being kids, but hated to see them doing it inside of a friggin jail cell. She could only hope all the kids in Hope County would grow up to be normal and not messed up like she was.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the scrawny kid offered her a reused tin can filled with her dinner. They didn't even have enough bowls or cups for everyone now and had to resort to reusing they canned goods. Jess took her portion and went outside. She wanted some peace and quiet while she ate.

The chatter from the mess hall was loud enough for her to hear even if she sat on the steps at the exit so she chose to head a little farther off. If she was going to eat outside she may as well pitch in with lookout duty. So she carefully climbed a ladder, and climbing one with one hand was a lot more difficult than it seemed.

Once on the wall she immediately spotted Grace, her sniper rifle in hand as she watched the trees that surrounded the jail.

"I didn't expect you to be doing guard duty _here_ ," Jess grinned as she neared the older woman. "I thought you were watching for the flower bitch tonight."  
Grace glanced at Jess. "I was, but we really only need one person to be on lookout in the evenings. So Sharky offered to take over alone."

"I see," Jess said before she jumped up on the railing and sat on it, her legs dangled over the edge. "Don't tell me you volunteered for the whole night shift."

"I did," Grace confirmed.

"Trouble sleeping?"

The moon was bright enough to show the veteran shrugged her shoulders. "Don't we all?"

"Good point," Jess cursed when she realized she forgot a spoon. So she just lifted the can and drank the stew from it. "Speaking of sleeping," she paused to swallow, "why did you come up with the idea for us to constantly wake the flower bitch each hour?"

Grace inhaled deeply before exhaling through her nostrils. "It's a tactic that's been used in the military. Exhaustion can lower a persons mental defenses, makes them more willing to talk." She eyed Jess. "And it doesn't leave any physical marks."

The hooded woman shrugged in response. "Hey, I've been doing my best to not beat her face in. Every time I see her it's like I have this itch, this craving to shoot an arrow through her throat."

"I can understand that desire with Jacob, or any of his 'soldiers,' but why the animosity towards Faith?"

Jess paused midchew and lowered her can. She thought of a response, swallowed the stew she hastily chewed again, before she answered. "She's no saint, she's still a Seed. She may not have tortured people, but she still drugged people. Forcing a person into an Angel is no different than killing. Only its worse. She uses the Angels to do the manual labor for the cult. They're the canon fodder and thrown against the resistance first in skirmishes. I've heard that some people hesitate to shoot back when they recognize an Angel as a friend or a loved one. And she's not even a real Seed, she was born and raised here in Hope County. She's brought a lot of suffering to the innocent people here, even if she did it in a 'nicer' way. So what's not to hate?"

"Good point," Grace replied. "Though I've heard that Faith was an outcast. Bullied or ignored."

"I didn't get along with people either," Jess argued. She saw just a little bit of stew remained, she tapped the end of the can so the rest would slide out. "Don't see me wanting to turn half the population into zombies."

"True. Still, it doesn't feel right to be torturing the girl for information. By doing this we're no better than the Peggies themselves."

Jess was about to retort when something scraped against her tongue and teeth, something a lot more tough than potatoes. She chewed into morsel again and recognized it, meat. Only, her brain wasn't telling her that it was most likely rabbit or venison, the meat that their hunters frequently bought for their meals, instead her brain registered the meat as human flesh, raw and bloody.

Jess spat out the stew but it was too late, the reaction was immediate. She gagged and bile quickly rose up her throat and into her mouth. Despite sitting on the railing, she had just enough time to plant her feet back on the wall and lean over the railing where she promptly lost her dinner, and probably last week's lunch as well with how much she was vomiting. She was at least grateful it was dark enough where she couldn't see the chunks she upheaved, though she made a mental note to chew her food more thoroughly. Even when her stomach ran dry, the thought of the meat's texture in her mouth still triggered the disgust and nausea, she painfully dry heaved for who knows how long.

When the memory of the feeling and taste of human flesh faded, Jess finally felt well enough, she spat one final time and was about to straighten her back when she felt a warmth on the middle of her back and her hair was pulled back. She turned and found Grace next to her, her arms pulled back and Jess felt her hair fall back over her shoulders.

"You okay?" Grace asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Jess swallowed, but grimaced when she tasted bile. Then she realized that her body and hands were shaking, and her breathing was labored and rapid. Her heart beat erratically. Panic attack.

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. "Fine," her voice sounded rough.

Grace still watched her with that concerned expression. "Piece of meat slip passed?"

Jess nodded. "If only they caught chicken or fish," she joked. She could eat poultry and fish, but she couldn't stomach red meat. It reminded her too much of human meat. She sent another wad of spit over the rail. Damnit, there went her dinner. Prior to the surprise meat, the stew was good. It was a warm, hearty meal that they haven't had in some time. She'd check with the kitchen later if she could nab some seconds, after she scared the crap out of the scrawny kid for serving her meat. She could guilt trip him into giving her seconds.

"Go easy on the kid serving dinner, Jess. With your anger, you'd probably make him piss himself."

Jess chuckled. "That'll depend if there's anything left for me." She sighed as she looked over the rail. "I hope a Peggy was down there, but I doubt it."

They stood in silence for a moment until Jess recalled what Grace had said before she took that ill fated bite. "Wait, so are you having second thoughts about our plan? We agreed that flower bitch has important information we can use to end all of this!"

Grace shook her head. "Change my mind? No. No, I'm just starting to feel…conflicted. I understand she has important info, and I want this nightmare to end just as much as you and everyone else. But our way of doing it, torturing her, we're no different than the Peggies. From what Aiden told me, not even _she_ was willing to torture for information. She kept him comfortable, fed, and just simply spoke to him when he was her prisoner."

"Yeah but how long would that have lasted? Since he escaped we don't know. Maybe if we didn't have the threat of _aircraft_ firepower against us we'd have more time to go by Aiden's rules. But truth is we _don't_. We can be bombed tonight, we can be bombed tomorrow. That bitch knows where the Father is. My gut tells me only she and her fake brothers knew, so if she rats out the Father he'll know who told us. And even though she's with us, she's still more afraid of him. The sooner we find the Father the more lives we'll save."

Grace's silence was enough, she understood what Jess explained, but maybe she still felt conflicted about it, her gaze remained on the trees and distant mountains behind the jail. It was quiet enough for them to hear the gurgle of the river. The air was chilly and not a cloud was in sight, which allowed the stars and moon to shine even more brightly. It would have been an otherwise great night to just enjoy with a flask of whiskey and a small fire, but their world was so different now. Jess wondered if things would ever return to normal.

* * *

Days continued to come and go for Faith. She became so exhausted, so hungry, she ceased to care for counting the number of days and nights that passed. Jess didn't bother her as much, other than waking her up from any time she slept, but she did pop into the cell once or twice to kick her in the leg or punch her in the gut. Once when she was glad to have a decent sized meal, one that was delivered to her from the sheriff himself, Jess had punched her in the stomach so hard a few minutes later that she became violently ill.

Each day she lost a little more of her defiance. Each day whatever Tracey taped in her cell became more and more tempting. Each time Tracey or Jess asked her where the Father was she became a little more willing to tell them something, anything, just so they would leave her alone. But without Aiden, she was afraid she'd outlive her usefulness. All they had to do was somehow secretly expose her to the resistance, and her blood would be off their hands and they could remain on Aiden's good graces.

Despite the hunger, exhaustion, a few bruises, and possibly her still broken ribs, she still very much wanted to live.

The lack of sleep made her careless. Her memory had been fuzzy lately, she couldn't remember what she did or did, or if she did anything at all, but there was a time that she had been doing her laundry when she was suddenly thrown on the ground. By instinct she looked up to see what knocked her down, and became face to face with a furious Jess.

Despite being knocked to the floor, the lack of proper sleep for Faith left her feeling slow and sluggish. She tried to scramble away from the angry woman, but she was too slow to dodge or block the kick that connected to her still tender ribs. She cried out and curled up to protect herself from another onslaught of kicks.

Then she saw something on the ground. She peeked between the gap between the two arms she used to cover her face and saw Jess' knife within reach from her. She didn't stop to think why her knife was on the floor, she was just glad that it was.

"Please," she sobbed, "please stop." She received another few kicks and stomps, but she slowly dragged herself to the knife. Thankfully the weapon was out of Jess' sight since it was hidden underneath a cart that was used to carry the laundry. It was safe to assume Jess just thought she was trying to get away from her attacks. She only hoped Jess wouldn't drag her away.

"What did I do?" She managed to ask. She could have sworn Grace was also in the room with them, but she didn't intervene if she was still in the room.

"You know perfectly well what you did last night," Jess taunted. "You were crying from a little nightmare and someone heard you from the lower levels. Now there's all sorts of rumors of what's going on up here." She lowered herself so she could straddle Faith's upper thighs and forced her hands away from her face. However, being so close to the knife helped fuel Faith's otherwise weak arms into quickly reaching and grabbing for the knife. It wasn't in its sheath so she took advantage and swiped at Jess.

The hooded woman easily blocked the path of the blade with her forearm, but she received a nasty gash from it. Then Faith felt someone else grab her arm and forced the knife from her grip, Grace finally decided to jump in.

Before Faith could struggle, a fist connected with her face that had the edges of her vision going black. The blow was disorienting and before she knew it she was struck again, and again. She couldn't do anything to protect herself.

"Stop!" The voice sounded distant and muffled. Then Faith realized there was a slight ringing in her ears. And the taste of copper flooded her mouth.

She must have blacked out because when she opened her eyes again she was back in her cell. Everything hurt, her face, her head, every limb was on fire. Faith laid in confusion for so long, she remembered her beating and the reason Jess gave, but she couldn't remember having a nightmare. She was never asleep long enough to dream.

The sobs she worked so hard to keep buried clawed their way out of her throat. Minutes passed until she finally grew weary of crying. A new thought came into her mind that awoken a new type of determination within her. She slowly sat up, ignoring the pain as much as she could, and all but crawled towards the toilet. Her hand shook as she reached behind it and untapped the small object.

Her vision blurred with more tears when she finally pulled her prize free. She uncapped the syringe.

Faith just wanted a few moments of peace and happiness.

* * *

A/N: I have no excuses for being so late again, and I apologize for worrying some with the long delay.


	16. Uncertainty

Ambivalence

Chapter 16: Uncertainty

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

The high was just as Faith remembered. Not a single negative emotion plagued her, in its place she felt nothing but pure euphoria. Being locked up in a cell with a heavily bruised body and lack of nourishment didn't seem so depressing anymore. It felt like it had been months since she smiled so much, she didn't mind her bruised and swollen cheeks that ached from doing it.

Energy streamed through her veins, and if it weren't for her stiff limbs she'd have wanted to pace about in her cell, maybe even try to find a way to climb out of the small window. Her senses were in hyperdrive which made her earlier fatigue nothing but a faint memory. The sunlight that poured into her small cell was so bright, however, she had to leave her pillow over her eyes.

The two men that always stood guard, Hurk and Sharky, she learned they were named, were playing some sort of drinking game a few cells away. She was never able to make out the conversations from the other cells unless it was during the evening where it was deathly quiet, but this time she was able to make out some of the words the two men exchanged.

Her ears perked when one of them, Hurk she assumed, mentioned her. Her smile grew wider as she learned of his small infatuation with her.

As she laid in bed, she couldn't help but run her hands through the second blanket that Aiden gave her. It was a better one than the original she had, it was thicker and much softer. The softness of the fabric against her skin felt so fascinating, she couldn't stop running her fingers over the softness.

Sadly, the high didn't last.

All too soon the sunlight wasn't as blinding, she couldn't hear the men's conversation as clearly, the blanket didn't feel so amazingly soft. Worse, the happiness that consumed her evaporated. She suddenly felt angry, she needed more time! Just another moment of happiness, even if it was for another minute.

The Bliss Harold gasped as she pulled herself up into a sitting position and reached the discarded syringe on the floor. It was empty.

She cursed and tossed the item across her cell. Moving was a mistake, her head flared into an intense pain that made her mouth water, but there was nothing in her system to vomit. She tried to force herself to stand, but the pain from her head woke the aches from the rest of her limbs. Surrendering to her bruises, Faith collapsed back onto her bed and fell into a state between consciousness and unconsciousness.

Her headache flared again some time later from the loud screech of her cell door opening and shutting. She turned her head and watched the silhouette of someone walking around her cell. The darkness claimed her before she could recognize who the person was.

When she woke up again the first thing that processed in her slow thoughts was a faded beige shirt. Her glossy eyes roamed and she eyed a badge.

"Aiden?"

She had only seen Aiden in his uniform once, on that night where it all began. A small smile grew on Faith's face as she remembered him from that time. His uniform had been spotless, not a single wrinkle on his shirt or pants. His hair had been shorter, his face pale and jaw clean shaven. When she first saw him it was his eyes that drew her attention the most. She easily read the fear in his eyes, but he kept his face stoic and emotionless. When he pulled out his handcuffs to arrest the Father she noticed the small shake of his hands.

The person standing next to her crouched down and Faith noticed a large, bushy mustache. Her heart deflated with disappointment. It wasn't Aiden.

The sheriff told her something but his words seemed to be coming out at a different tempo from the movement of his lips. Faith frowned and closed her eyes. Her headache was getting worse and her face felt numb, she felt like she would slur if she tried to talk.

She had fallen asleep again. When she awoke again she instantly became aware of something cold touching her. She twitched in panic and tried to get away, the last cold object she could recall was the sharp blade that Jess slid along her throat.

"Easy there, Miss Jessop," the sheriff told her.

Anger warmed Faith's face. "That's not my name," her words were difficult to form, her tongue felt like it was three sizes too big and her mouth was dry.

A new deep voice she didn't recognize spoke to her, "Ms. Seed."

Hearing her name helped sooth her anger. Faith's eyes ventured beside the sheriff and recognized the doctor for the resistance. It was his cold hands that she felt.

"You're very hurt," the doctor continued. "It'd be best if you don't move."

Faith silently endured his wandering hands and prodding.

"Internal bruising in the abdomen for sure," the doctor voiced as he examined her. It was then that Faith realized her shirt had been rolled up to expose her stomach. Fear clenched in her gut, but the sheriff held her shoulder to prevent her from moving. "I'll have to monitor her to see if there's any internal bleeding." His dark eyes looked towards her. Then he pulled out a small pen flashlight and lit it into her eyes. She winced and tried to look away.

The doctor grabbed her jaw with his cold hand. "Try to look at the light, please." After he analyzed her eyes he moved onto shining the small flashlight up her nostrils and ears. "Any nausea, Ms. Seed?"

"Yes," Faith whispered. "If I move."

The doctor nodded as he pocketed his flashlight and finally pulled her shirt back over her abdomen. Then he began to check over her limbs and hands. He glanced at the sheriff. "Looks like a mild concussion." He looked back at Faith. "Any difficulties breathing?"

She hesitated and took an experimental breath. It was difficult to tell if it was the breathing itself or just the expanding of her chest that caused a sharp but small pain. "No," she answered.

"Possible bruised or fractured ribs. Nothing else appears to be broken," the doctor continued. Faith wasn't sure if he was muttering these things to himself or to the sheriff.

The sheriff shook his head. Faith tried to read his expression but he was good at keeping his face neutral. She wondered if he was upset with her for nearly making him hang himself. It wasn't anything personal.

"Who did this to you, Ms. Seed?" The sheriff asked.

Faith was about to shake her head, but she remembered the nausea that came if she moved and stopped. "No one."

One of the sheriff's bushy eyebrows lifted. "Then how did you receive these injuries?"

The woman ignored him and closed her eyes. She was tired and wanted to sleep. Hopefully with the two men in her cell she could sleep peacefully. Her eyes opened again when she felt something warm press onto her shoulder.

"I can't help you if I don't know who did this." The sheriff's large hand covered her entire shoulder, but its warmth was more welcoming than the doctor's cold hands.

Faith wanted to laugh. She forced her voice to cooperate. "Why would you want to help me? After everything I've done to you and the people here." She was afraid her reminder would knock sense into the two men and they'd both stop helping, and her heart pounded in fear of what they may want to do to her for revenge.

The sheriff hesitated which made Faith wonder if he was trying to think of a lie. Or maybe he was asking himself the same thing and debating on even wanting to help her, let alone let her live. "It's part of the job. You may be our prisoner, but I'm still responsible for your safety."

 _He sounds like Aiden_ , Faith thought. Or maybe Aiden learned that from the sheriff? It didn't matter, as much as she wanted to trust the man and confess to the constant fear, near starvation, and beatings she's endured in the last several days, she dared not say anything for fear of a worse punishment. And she still felt skeptical that the sheriff would help her as Aiden has.

Out of instinct, the young woman's eyes looked over towards the bars of her cell, she was afraid she'd find Jess watching her. The hooded woman's threat of sneaking her out of the jail to torture her like one of Jacob's men did to her was very fresh in her mind. She still didn't feel relief upon seeing no one on the other side of the bars, their conversation can carry a few cells away.

So Faith remained silent and diverted her gaze towards the ceiling. She heard the sheriff give a heavy exhale. The doctor hadn't said or done anything further so she assumed he was done.

"Well," the doctor broke the silence, "like I said, I'll have to monitor her for the next several hours to determine the full extent of her injuries."

The sheriff waved a hand at the younger male. "I'll do it. You have your hands full with the others, and it'll only raise more suspicions if you keep coming up here."

The doctor shrugged. Before he got up and left Faith noticed the expression he gave her. He didn't glare at her, but she could still see the slight look of contempt that he gave her. But she could also notice a slight curiosity in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, but his eyes kept drifting towards the sheriff.

Faith closed her eyes and waited for sleep. She could hear the two men discussing something in hushed whispers. As exhausted as she felt, she couldn't shake the fear that coursed through her veins. She doubted that she'd be left in peace any time soon. A weak sigh escaped her chapped lips. She hoped that Aiden was okay and would return soon.

* * *

Tracey had to admire her handiwork. She could stitch competently, but making them look neat and clean was a different story. After weeks of practice, and with Jess as her latest Guinea pig, she finally perfected stitches.

"So your plan went smoothly?" Tracey asked the huntress as she discarded her gloves and fetched clean gauze.

The two women were in Jess' cell. Tracey had been aware of Jess' plan to plant her knife within easy reach of Rachel and force her into a situation to use it. Once Jess was attacked by a weapon she would have the excuse to beat Rachel nearly within an inch of her life. Grace had intervened before Jess went too far, but the damage was done. When she snuck into Rachel's cell to check if she finally took to her little gift, she saw the severity of her beating. No doubt Jess lost herself in her anger.

Tracey had her doubts of the plan, but it worked. Rachel did use the gift she left. Now that she was finally succumbing to her old habits, it was just a matter of feeding that habit for a bit and then cut her off. From there they hoped she'd be so desperate for more she'd finally cave and tell them where to find the Father.

"Yep," Jess answered, "it played out perfectly."

Tracey glanced towards Rachel's cell. It hadn't taken long for the sheriff and Charles to check in on her. It was impossible to hear what they were discussing, but even if Rachel refused to talk the situation was obvious. Jess was confident the sheriff wouldn't arrest her, hence the reason why she left her knife within reach, she had the excuse of self-defense.

Speaking of the sheriff, the man just exited Rachel's cell, spoke to Charles for a moment and then headed for Jess' cell.

"Ladies," the sheriff announced as he walked in. Tracey could immediately see the exhaustion on his face, but he kept the fatigue out of his voice. He looked at Jess' freshly bandaged arm and then at her. "Mind if I speak with Jess alone, Tracey?"

Tracey grinned. It took some time for both women to get the sheriff to call them by their first names. "Of course," she nodded, gathered her supplies, and went on her way.

As she headed back to the ground floor for the infirmary, Tracey thought over their plan. She was aware that Grace was having second thoughts, and she could understand her perspective. Torturing Rachel didn't make them any better than the cult, and a small part of her did feel bad for it, but they were so close to putting this near decade long nightmare to an end and she knew that Rachel had the information to help them end it before more lives were lost.

* * *

Faith stood in front of the Father's church, her body screaming for food, water, and rest. But she ignored her aches and pains, she was finally free. She was both eager and nervous to reunite with the Father. She was happy to be with her family again, to be safe and away from the nightmare she endured for the last week or so.

It had been such a long, grueling journey, but she did it. The one good thing about her beating from Jess was that she was able to swipe the key ring from her. Everything couldn't work out more perfectly for her, the sheriff took Jess and Grace to another level, undoubtedly to discuss what had happened between them. She only had the one guard, either Sharky or Hurk, she wasn't sure which one, but one of them had been half asleep on duty so it was simple to sneak passed even with her slow stride.

The laundry room had a vent that took her directly to the roof of the building. From there it took her the better part of the night to sneak passed the few guards that paced about the jail's gate and the front entrance had been in such shambles and disrepair she was able to escape without anyone noticing. She walked all night and morning, and just when her body seemed on the verge of collapse from exhaustion and dehydration, a supply patrol found her. It wasn't easy to convince the men of her identity thanks to the beating Jess gave to her face, but when they took her to a reclaimed outpost a few more important people in charge recognized her and promptly took her to the Father.

So here she stood in front of the church. All of her limbs shook, both from exhaustion and nervousness, she even felt a little sick to her stomach. But she was determined to walk into the church unaided. Every step she took towards the church made her heart beat faster. And then when she stepped inside of the white building her heart threatened to burst with joy when she spotted the Father's lanky frame standing in the back.

When the Father smiled at her, she felt her bruised face grow a smile of its own. She wanted to run to him and hug him, to feel safe in his arms, but she was only able to plant one leg in front of the other. After what felt like an hour, she stood before the Father.

Before she or the Father could speak, she noticed movement on either side of her. After a moment two familiar faces stepped into her view and stood on either side of the Father. Faith's eyes widened when she recognized Jacob and John. They were alive! But, how? Aiden had killed them.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the Father spoke to her.

"You have returned," the Father said, the smile still on his face.

Faith swallowed, her hands tightened into fists as she fought the urge to run to him. She nodded. "I have, Father. And I have many things to tell you about my captivity." She paused and glanced at her other brothers. While she had learned about John and Jacob's deaths through gossip, and the Father confirmed their deaths on his television broadcasts, he had never spoken to her directly about their fates.

"Tell me," the Father continued, "what have you told _them_?"

Faith felt her heart sink and her smile dropped into a frown. She fought to keep her voice even. "I have told them _nothing_. I was tortured, beaten for information, but I always stayed devoted to you."

The Father smiled sadly. "You lost faith, and as a result you've lost sight of yourself."

Dread and fear filled her as she watched Jacob and John step towards her. She took a step backwards.

"I haven't told them _anything_! I am devoted to you, through everything I've remained loyal!" Her vision blurred from the collection of tears until they finally rolled down her cheeks.

Jacob and John were within an arms reach of her, but they stopped when the Father raised his arm to halt them. Faith realized she was breathing rapidly, and she felt like she was going to be sick. She swallowed hard and hoped she wouldn't shame herself in front of her brothers.

The Father approached her, the sad smile still on his face.

"Please," Faith whispered to him, "I'll do anything if you please give me a chance to prove myself to you."

The Father said nothing, but he raised his arms. On instinct Faith flinched, but then she felt the warmth of the Father's arms as they wrapped around her. She breathed out in relief and returned the hug, maybe a little too tightly, but she was so happy and relieved, she couldn't stop the tears that continued to roll down her face and soaked the Father's bare chest.

All too soon he pulled away from their embrace and he cupped one of her cheeks, his thumb brushed over her many bruises. His eyes hardened and fear filled her gut. Before she could blink the Father wrapped his large hand around her slender throat and squeezed.

Faith tried to gasp, but his grip squeezed so hard she couldn't draw breath. She lifted her hands and grabbed at his wrist, but he easily shoved her grip away and grabbed her throat with his other hand as well. Dark spots appeared in her vision and she couldn't hear anything other than the fast beating of her heart. Her head hurt and she wanted to scream, but nothing would escape the Father's grip.

"I am sorry," the Father whispered to her.

Then, there was nothing. No fear, no pain, no sadness, only the void of darkness and no feelings or emotion.

Faith woke up crying and gasping for air. She sat up and immediately reached for her tender throat, but felt nothing around it. She was no longer at the church, she was back in her cell.

"Easy there," a voice spoke next to her. Faith cried out in surprise and tried to back away from the voice, but she was trapped against the wall. Her wide eyes found the bushy mustache of the sheriff and his small eyes looking at her in what looked like alarm and a little of concern.

Faith felt herself become more hysterical, even though there was nothing choking the air out of her she failed to suck in oxygen and her mouth watered with nausea. She whimpered in fear when the sheriff placed a large hand on her shoulder.

"Easy, easy," the sheriff grunted. "You were just dreaming."

 _A dream_ , Faith tried to convince herself. Just a dream. A nightmare really. A very possible nightmare that may come to pass, minus Jacob and John's presence. She failed to stop the sob that scratched out of her throat.

"What's going on?"

Faith's heart stopped. She recognized that voice anywhere. Her blue eyes frantically looked up for the source of the voice.

Aiden stood just behind the sheriff, his face and clothes dirty, his clothes torn and blackened in some areas, but through her panic she could see the concern in his cyan eyes.

The sheriff looked over his shoulder and climbed to his feet. "Deputy," his voice sounded exasperated. He gestured one of his hands towards her. "She was just having a nightmare."

Aiden didn't acknowledge the answer to his question, his gaze remained on Faith. Despite his own ragged appearance, she suddenly felt embarrassed. She must look like a mess. Then his face hardened, his eyes almost looked just like the Father's from her dream. Faith couldn't suppress the shudder that overtook her body.

" _What happened_?" Aiden asked again, anger clear in his tone.

The sheriff sighed. "Of all times for you to come back, rook." He glanced at Faith before he looked back to his deputy. "Why don't we have this talk elsewhere? We both have some debriefing to do."

Aiden nodded and opened the cell door. Even when the sheriff exited, Aiden remained, his gaze still studying Faith.

"Meet me at the isolation cells. We'll be free from prying ears there. Don't take too long, rook." The sheriff said before he walked away.

The rookie deputy took a few slow steps towards Faith, she noticed he kept his hands up to show that they were empty. He kept his voice low, soft. "What happened?"

Tears filled Faith's eyes again. She felt like she truly lost herself and had to be crazy for feeling so happy to see the very man that destroyed her family and her happiness. But despite the fact that he ruined her life, she couldn't fault him for everything he did. And he had been nothing but kind to her regardless of everything she did to him and the people he cared about.

She forced herself onto her feet and threw herself at him, her arms wrapped around his torso in a tight embrace. The tears continued to fall and soaked his shirt. He smelled of sweat, blood and smoke, but the feel of his warm, hard chest was strangely calming. Being so close to him melted the fear that had been etched in her bones.

He didn't return the embrace, but he didn't push her off of him either. After a moment he placed his hands on her shoulders in an awkward sort of embrace. He was silent, but he allowed her to get the sobs out of her system. She wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. In the arms of her brother, the Father, she was probably good as dead. But in the arms of her enemy, the man that destroyed the happiness she finally had after a miserable childhood, she felt safe.

* * *

Aiden didn't know how to feel at the moment. After a long, troubling journey to scavenge supplies for the resistance, he had been so eager to return to the jail for much needed rest and healing. The closer he and the other men and women that accompanied him got to the jail, he couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension. He hadn't meant to be gone so long, and he was honestly worried to leave Faith at everyone's mercy, especially Jess'. Now that he returned, and to see the state Faith had been left in, he was right to feel worried.

When he arrived and found Jess on guard duty at the front gate, his eyes zeroed in on her bandaged arm. When he saw her injury he didn't stop to speak with her, he headed right for the third floor. As he approached Faith's cell he heard her screaming. Fearing the worst, he pushed through his stiff and sore muscles and into her cell where he found the sheriff and the Bliss Herald.

Then when he saw her face anger boiled in his veins. When he left the jail her swelling and bruises had faded, and now her right cheek was so swollen it looked the size of a baseball, her lips were swollen and split, purple and blue bruises marred her face and her right eye was nearly swollen shut. Despite the swelling he noticed that her face was more gaunt as well.

It didn't take him long to deduce the general idea of what happened.

The Bliss Herald's arms squeezed at the burns he had on the side of his abdomen and he failed to suppress a grunt. Her sobs immediately ceased and she pulled away from him, her tear swelled eyes looking over him. Then she glanced up at his face. "You're hurt?"

Aiden winced and waved off her question. "Nothing serious," he answered. He gently pushed her towards the cot and sat next to her. Immediately his body wanted to lie down and rest, he resisted the urge to collapse and sleep.

"What happened?" He asked again. Then he gestured towards her face. "When did this happen?"

Faith bit at her lower lip and shook her head. "I wasn't," she paused. "Nothing happened."

With the initial shock gone, all of Aiden's bruises and burns kicked in. The weight of fatigue started to make his head feel a thousand pounds heavy and a headache bloomed between his brows. He wasn't completely surprised that Faith would refuse to confess what happened, he's seen it before. "Can you at least tell me you were acting in self-defense?"

She finally looked up at him and he saw the hope in her eyes, but he could also see the fear. After a moment she looked away and shook her head again.

Aiden sighed heavily. This was the last thing he needed to deal with after just returning, but honestly he was used to it. Not just with the Cougar's, but with the other factions of the resistance. After a mission he'd return and found more problems, worse that before, waiting for him to deal with.

He patted her arm and stood, his hand guided her to lay down on the cot. She grimaced at the movement and he paused. "Where else does it hurt?"

She remained silent, but moved her arm towards her torso and then her injured leg.

Aiden nodded. "For what it's worth I'm sorry. Rest now."

Faith was quick to grab at his sleeve. He smiled sadly at her and gently pried her fingers from him. "I'll be back, okay?" She relented and turned so she faced the wall.

Aiden rubbed at his eyes as he made his way to meet the sheriff. After he spoke with him he'd seek out Jess and get her story, though he had a feeling she'd tell him nothing different than the sheriff. He easily ran into his boss where he said he'd wait for him, at the isolation cells. The Cougar's used said place as storage so they had their privacy to talk.

"What the hell happened to you, rook?" The sheriff asked once they stepped into one of the cells.

The deputy shook his head. "We can get into that later," he waved the question off and sought out a sturdy looking wooden crate to sit on. His feet were killing him. Actually his whole body was killing him. Specifically the burns. His head ached worse than before.

"What happened while I was gone?"

The sheriff took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Even indoors he always sported his hat. "From what I was told, Jess had escorted Faith to do her laundry. Faith got the jump on Jess, took her knife and attacked her with it. Grace was guarding the stairs and heard the commotion. She had to pull Jess off of Faith before she killed her."

Aiden had been rubbing his forehead while he heard the sheriff explain the altercation. When his explanation finished, he gave out a long sigh.

"Jess has her knife strapped onto her belt. To steal it, one would have to get very close to her. And with her distrust of Faith, I highly doubt she would let her guard down so low that her knife would get taken."

The sheriff shrugged in response. "That's what I thought as well. Jess claimed Faith was unresponsive when it was time to leave, and when she got close enough Faith attacked and took her knife."

"And what did Faith say?"

"The girl refuses to discuss what happened."

"Yeah she didn't want to tell me anything either," Aiden admitted. "How bad are both of their injuries?"

"Charles checked them both, Jess got a deep gash on her arm, needed stitches, but she didn't lose too much blood."

Aiden frowned. "She still lost enough I'd imagine, yet she's outside on guard duty?"

"You know how that girl is, rook. She hates to sit around poking her ass," he paused when Aiden lifted an eyebrow at him. "Those are her words, not mine. And she insisted she needed fresh air."

"So with Faith refusing to tell her side of the story we have no choice but to take Jess' word as truth," Aiden thought aloud. "So we'll be adding assault with a deadly weapon to her list of charges."

"Looks that way," the sheriff agreed.

"And Faith's injuries?"

"Internal bruising, broken ribs and a concussion, I've been keeping an eye on her for Charles to see if it's worse."

"And is it?"

The older male shrugged. "I hadn't been observing her long enough to see if she has other symptoms before she had some nightmare and went into a panic."

"Has she been eating? First look at her and I can tell she's lost weight."

The sheriff frowned. "I've been bringing her meals, and sometimes one of the others will take the food to her. Our supplies are low, rook. We've all been eating a little light."

"Damn," Aiden muttered under his breath. Maybe it would be best if he relocated Faith elsewhere to avoid giving any one else the temptation to kill her. He voiced his thoughts to his boss.

"You look like a mess, rook. Before you move her you need to have those injuries checked out. Rest, heal. Besides, where would you take her?"

Aiden shrugged. "Maybe to Whitetail or Holland. Somewhere where people haven't been personally affected by Faith and hopefully won't bear such hostility against her."

"I don't know, rook." The sheriff rubbed at his mustache. "With how much the Seed's have affected this whole county I think she'll be at risk no matter where you take her."

"You're most likely right," Aiden grunted as he slowly climbed to his feet.

"Don't think you're getting off so easily without telling me what happened. I thought you just went to gather supplies."

"No offense, boss, but can this wait? Or we can talk it over while the doc looks over these burns. They're hurting like a bitch."

"Very well, that may be best considering you look ready to keel over."

"And I really, ah, would rather not go over the details in front of the others in the infirmary. So could you be a lamb and have the doc meet me at my cell?"

The sheriff rose his thick brows. "That bad?"

"Yeah," Aiden eagerly headed for the exit and up the torturous stairs. How he wished the jail had an elevator. He relied heavily on the rails to climb to the top floor. His cell was right next to Faith's, but he was at the point of not caring if she was awake to hear what transpired. He didn't doubt she was aware of the things Jacob did, especially to him.

Once in his cell he kicked his boots off and pulled off his shirt. It was nearly tattered and the doctor would need it out of the way to check on his wounds anyway. The material stuck to his burns and he hissed as he slowly peeled the shirt off. A cold shower would probably do him some good. After a short nap.

It felt like he was asleep for no more than a minute before he awoke to the sound of Charles stepping next to him. It was difficult to sit up with his muscles screaming in protest. The sheriff stepped inside not long after.

"So what happened," the sheriff asked, his arms crossed over his chest and he leaned back against the cell bars.

While the doctor began his ministrations of checking and treating his wounds, Aiden explained what put him in such a state. "We followed a Peggie supply truck. Originally we were just going to ransack it, but we've been burned before where the trucks were empty, so we decided to follow it. We tracked it all the way to a small hideout in Whitetail. Taking care of the Peggies and their 'judges' was simple enough, but when we broke into their supply room it triggered _that_ song."

The sheriff swore under his breath. Charles glanced at Aiden, but then continued on with dabbing his burns with some foul smelling ointment. Aiden hadn't told the doctor about his "conditioning" that Jacob forced on him, he honestly hadn't felt it was important. Until now.

"Is that song the only one that will trigger it?" The sheriff asked.

"When I've rescued other people from those 'rehabs' they used other songs and it didn't trigger it, but who knows? One kid with the militia was fond of finding new music to play over the radio, I always had him lock me into a room and play whatever music he found to see if it triggered me before he played it in public." He shrugged. "Road trips can get awfully long and boring and I enjoyed listening to the music he played."

The sheriff swore again. "And then what happened? Was…anyone hurt?"

Aiden frowned and looked away. "I warned the people with me to get away, but my warning was too late and they didn't understand. I nearly did kill one of them, but they were able to hold me down and tie me up until they shut off the music and I snapped out of it."

"And the cause of these burns?" The doctor asked.

"Someone tried firing warning shots at me and something caught on fire. I can say that the pain didn't snap me out of it." He sighed. "I'm just glad things worked the way they did. I could have been killed or worse I could have killed someone," he glanced at the sheriff. "It's why I didn't want to explain what happened in front of the others. I asked the people I was with to keep this between us."

The sheriff nodded. "Things are grim enough as it is. There's no telling how the whole resistance will react if they became weary of you getting triggered and turning on them."

Aiden looked towards Charles. "I trust you won't spread the word about my, ah…'conditioning'?"

The doctor nodded. "Patient-doctor confidentiality."

"You know anything about this, Charles?" The sheriff asked. "Is there any way to cure it?"

Charles looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm afraid psychology is out of my area of expertise. Without the internet or even medical books, I'm afraid there's little I can research about it."

Aiden winced while the doctor finished patching up his burns. "Anyone ever tell you, doc, that your 'healing hands' could be a little more gentle?"

The older male chuckled. "Considering that before all this my 'patients' were mostly livestock? No."

"Well," the sheriff chimed in, "hopefully that type of trap is a one time thing, and restricted only in Whitetail. For now, you deserve some much needed rest. I hope the supplies made it worthwhile."

"It did," Aiden yawned. "A little more food and weapons."

The oldest male nodded. "Good, good," he muttered. "We'll leave you to rest then."

"And these," Charles handed Aiden some small tablets, "are for the pain. And use this ointment once more for the day and continue twice a day." He placed a tube on top of the sink. "You know where to find me if you need anything."

Once the men left, Aiden couldn't sleep despite his exhaustion. For as long as he had traveled through the Whitetail Mountains he had never come across any Peggie base or camp that played _that_ song, other than the Veterans Center. Through the whole trip back to the jail he kept thinking it over, and his thoughts didn't sit well with him. He couldn't help but feel that the trap was _too_ convenient. And now the seed of fear had been planted in him. Now he couldn't shake the fear of that song being played again while he was in the jail. He'd have to speak to the sheriff about locking his cell door in the evening or something.

It was difficult to stop worrying, especially now that he had to think about where to take Faith. He was still livid about the beating Jess gave Faith. He didn't doubt the official story that was told to him and the sheriff, but he's worked with situations like this before. The victim often never confesses on fear of a worse beating. And he _trusted_ Jess. But he would speak with her later. Even if he had Jess go out scouting for supplies he wondered if any of the others would do something similar as well.

Eventually he fell into a troubled asleep where he dreamt of wolves and large speakers.

* * *

Faith hadn't been able to sleep. As a result she overheard the entire conversation between Aiden and the sheriff. While she didn't know the exact details, she knew Jacob took to classical conditioning on people, both on their own people and on members of the resistance. She didn't know that Aiden was one of those people, however.

Long after the sheriff and doctor left, when it was just her and Aiden in the cell next to hers, she heard him dream. Whatever it was he sounded pained and scared. It reminded her of her own nightmare. Worse, it pained her to hear him and be helpless to do anything. It troubled her that she felt this way.

More and more she questioned herself. She was scared to remain with the enemy, but yet she was also scared to return to the Father. She wanted to believe that he would be happy and welcoming to have her back, but her dream planted doubt and fear. Aiden's words consistently haunted her.

 _If a man, a father, can murder his own daughter, his flesh and blood, then what can he do to a sister in name only?_

Faith's hand wandered towards her neck. Obviously she didn't have any bruises, but after that dream the skin felt tender almost as if someone did try to strangle her. She didn't know what to think or what to do and she felt like the doubt slowly ate at her sanity. Could she continue to trust the Father? Or could she trust in Aiden when he said she could survive on her own?

Eventually she did find sleep. And the best part was that she slept uninterrupted through the night in the first time in days.


	17. Confrontation

Ambivalence

Chapter 17: Confrontation

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Faith awoke from a consistent feeling of heat against her face. Her eyelids fluttered open but then immediately shut closed when she realized the heat was caused by the sunlight streaming in through the window. She rubbed at her eyes and yawned. She slept throughout the night, and judging by the heat of the sun it was well into the morning. After only managing to get perhaps less than ten hours of sleep within the span of a week she'd never take a good night's rest for granted again.

Her eyelids and head still felt heavy with exhaustion. She wanted to turn onto her side to face away from the sunlight so she could get another few minutes of sleep, but laying on her back helped make the pain in her ribs a little more tolerable. A sudden shout quickly chased away all of her drowsiness.

The shout was from Aiden.

She assumed he was having another nightmare. During the previous night he was plagued by a nightmare or two, but he eventually fell into a quiet slumber. But the one he was having now was concerning judging by his cries. Her chest tightened with pity. She wished she could wake him to spare whatever nightmare he was experiencing, but she was helpless to do anything. She dared not to call out to him hoping to wake him, she was still all too aware of Jess' threat to keep herself from drawing any attention. As it was she was still unaware of the other night where she supposedly drew attention by having a nightmare of her own.

The jail was already bustling with activity from the voices she could hear in the lower levels. Her ears perked from the sound of footsteps just outside her cell. She remained still and pretended to be asleep.

After the sound of a cell door opening and closing, she recognized Jess' voice. Her heart immediately sped up.

"Aiden," she heard Jess say," wake up!"

She heard Aiden gasp and his stressed sounds ceased.

"Hey, you're okay," Jess soothed. "You're safe."

Faith heard Aiden swear. His voice sounded different, ragged and rough. "Jess?"

"Yeah, you were jus' dreamin'."

There was a quick moment of silence before Faith could faintly hear Aiden whisper, "get out."

"What?"

"Get out!"

Faith frowned as she heard the altercation. The cell door opened and closed again. She wanted to peek at what was going on, but she didn't want to get any of Jess' attention so she remained where she was.

"What the hell?" Jess asked, her voice also sounded different. She sounded worried, concerned. It was very odd to hear her voice be anything but angry. "What's wrong?"

Her question went unanswered for a long moment, and then there was the sound of something striking against metal. Faith jumped and she heard Jess swear.

There was a growl, not animalistic but human, filled with anger. Something rattled at the iron bars.

Curiosity got the better of Faith so she climbed up painfully into a sitting position so she could glimpse out of her cell to see what was happening. She could just make out the edge of Jess' frame standing outside of Aiden's cell.

"Aiden?" Jess asked. Her voice still dripped with concern and almost what sounded like fear. "Snap out of it!"

The bars rattled again and Jess cursed followed by the sound of keys jingling.

"What's going on?"

Faith watched as a tall male in jeans and a two colored hoodie approached. She recognized his voice belonging either to Hurk or Sharky. All too soon Grace joined as well, Faith immediately noticed she kept her hand near her gun holster. Why would she be ready to shoot Aiden? She could do nothing but remain idle and listen.

* * *

Aiden woke and his vision felt tunneled, even red tinted. He was in a room of some sort, a cell more like. Just on the other side of the bars he saw another faceless Peggie, a firearm in his arms and aimed right at him. But there was something wrong, he was filled with an overwhelming anger and desire to escape whatever torture they meant to put him through. All that mattered was that he got out, even if he had to shoot his way out.

His gun was absent from his holster and he had no other weapons, which only made him more angry. Maybe if he could just reach for the Peggie's gun he could escape. And none of these monsters would live to see the light of day again. He wouldn't allow them to subjugate more innocent people into this torture and hunger.

He reached for the Peggie but his reach wasn't long enough. He slammed his palms on the bars and tried to rattle them out of place. More Peggies appeared, all armed and watched him like some sort of caged animal. Their smiles and laughter only made him angrier, more determined to get out.

The rookie deputy wasn't sure how long he pulled and pushed at the bars, but eventually he grew exhausted and slumped to the floor. Maybe if he made them think he gave up, passed out, they'd open the door. So he laid on the floor, welcomed the soothing coolness of the hard pavement that pressed against his burning side, and shut his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again his vision was clear. He was still in a cell, but there weren't Peggies on the other side of the bars, instead he recognized Grace, Sharky and Jess. All of them watched him with wide eyes.

He slowly sat up and rubbed his burning eyes. "What happened?" His voice croaked.

It was Jess that spoke first. Her wide eyes narrowed as she frowned. "You tell us. You were dreaming and when I woke you, you warned me to get out. Then you were…how did you hear _that_ song? It wasn't playing. _No_ music was playing."

Aiden frowned as he dug into his memories. He remembered dreaming all night of wolves and speakers. Did he dream of hearing that song? He had never been triggered that way, then again he had yet to even dream about hearing it. The thought deeply disturbed him. He would have to either lock himself up any time he slept or he had to leave the jail. He wasn't going to repeat what he did to the Whitetail Militia's leader with the Cougars, he'd be putting the sheriff or Tracey at risk. As it was his own friends were at risk.

The young deputy cursed and leaned against his cot. "I'm…okay now. Still, keep that door locked for a bit, would you?"

His hands shook as the adrenaline wore off and he began to feel sick. He was so close to murdering his own friends that helped him survive everything the cult threw at him. If he so much as hurt any of them, let alone kill anyone, he didn't know what he'd do.

The others hadn't moved. He waved them away. "I'm okay, I promise. I'll call one of you to let me out soon enough. I just…want some time to think right now."

Eventually everyone filed out, Grace went into a nearby cell but kept her attention on him. Jess remained standing behind the bars, her eyes showed a mixture of anger and concern.

It was a hell of a way to start off his day. Aiden rubbed at his hair and face. He wanted to return to sleep, but he was fearful of having a another dream that may trigger his conditioning. Even if he was locked in his cell he didn't want to bring too much attention to the third level. Maybe he could talk the sheriff into emptying out one of the isolation cells for him to sleep in, they were sound proof at least. It would do until both he and Faith got into better traveling condition, then he'd seek out an alternate place for them to hold out on.

This new concern only added more ambition for him to find Joseph and put an end to everything.

Now that Aiden had a plan in mind he felt better, started to feel more normal. The adrenaline long since wore off and fatigue weighed heavily on his body. But there were things he had to do before he rested. He climbed to his feet and put more of the ointment on his burns. They hurt immensely, and for a moment he debated on taking the pain meds Charles gave him. Ultimately he decided against it, he could always get more later.

He was relieved to see that Jess hadn't left. She remained leaning against the bars, her arms crossed over her chest.

Aiden walked over to her. "I'm fine. Really," he told her.

Being closer to her he could notice the distant look in her eyes, but that quickly faded once he spoke to her. She shook her head. "This has never happened before."

Aiden tried to think of a theory, but his exhaustion stripped his brain of thinking of anything. His reply was a mere shrug. "First time for everything," he sighed.

"This just means we _need_ to find the Father quickly before it gets worse."

Despite being tired, Aiden noted the way Jess raised her voice. Nonetheless, he agreed with her. He didn't want to be responsible for bringing any harm to his friends or the resistance. And even though he asked for his conditioning to be kept secret from the scouts, he knew it was a matter of time until the word spread.

"You can unlock the door now. I'll be good, promise."

Jess studied his face for a moment. "You warned me, ya know?"

Aiden nodded. "I have a split second to say or do anything before I lose it."

"So you're getting some control back," Jess announced.

"I wouldn't say that," Aiden shook his head. "I'd like to think this is reversable, but who knows. And like Charles said, without the internet or books we'll never find out."

"Until this nightmare is over," Jess grumbled. She finally pulled out the keys and unlocked his cell.

One other thing Aiden would need, other than sleep, to heal would be food. And with the supplies he helped bring the Cougar's would hopefully indulge a little.

"How 'bout we check what's for breakfast?" Aiden almost slapped Jess over the back, but he was still well aware of her distaste for sudden bodily contact. "I'm really starting to miss all the pizza this place used to have."

They passed by Faith's cell, Aiden's peripheral vision could faintly see her blanket covered form laying on the cot. He didn't miss the glare Jess gave towards her direction either.

Breakfast was surprisingly very traditional, there were servings of sausage, bacon, eggs, fried potatoes and the best of all was the pancakes. Aiden had just shoveled half a stack of pancakes into his mouth when Jess broke the news to him.

"The flour was going bad or somethin' so expect nothing but pancakes for the day."

Aiden shrugged and gratefully inhaled more food. It had felt like a lifetime ago that he had a normal meal. For weeks he's had to settle with canned food, dried meats and fish. He was happy to find out the Cougars were either indulging now that their food storages recovered or they had a lot of food on the verge of spoiling, so that meant he was allowed seconds and thirds.

"I'm due for guard duty in a few, so you don't have to worry about taking anyone food," Jess told him.

Aiden nodded, but still he made sure to grab a hefty portion for Faith. Despite what the sheriff told him about everyone eating less, no one visibly displayed any weight loss like Faith had. Plus, like him, she was healing and she needed nutrients to do so. He noticed Jess frown when he filled up a plate of food.

"Then I guess this is where we part ways? I need to talk to Charles and see if he's feeling merciful to hook me up with more pain meds."

Jess nodded and made it up two steps before Aiden called her.

"If you see the sheriff or Tracey could you ask them for me if they can see me on the third floor? It's about my—ah—new sleeping quarters."

The hooded woman took a quick glance about the hall but she still lowered her voice. "Lemme guess, isolation?"

Aiden nodded. "I'd appreciate it if you could help me after your shift in clearing one of the cells out. Hopefully they don't say no."

Jess shrugged. "Yeah sure."

He stepped up to her. "One last thing, could I borrow the cell keys?"

The woman didn't look happy about it, but she still handed over the small ring of keys.

That went way easier than he thought, while Aiden did truly appreciate her helping him clear out one of the isolation cells, having someone like Hurk or Sharky would have been better, but he was also using this as an excuse to speak with Jess alone. They were way overdue for a talk. Until then, he made a quick stop in the infirmary where the doctor was expecting him to stop by for more pain pills and gave him more, no questions asked.

He returned to the top floor, to Faith's cell, and found her in the same position he last saw her, but she had her arm draped over her eyes. He wasn't sure if she was still asleep, and he meant to leave her food on the sink, but she stirred when he opened the cell door.

"Hope I didn't wake you," he told her.

"You didn't," she replied softly. She lifted her arm and her eyes immediately focused on the plate he held.

Pity, and a little of anger, tightened in Aiden's chest as he waited for her to sit up. He winced when he realized two things. "Sorry, I totally forgot you need a fork. And something to wash it all down."

A small smile grew on Faith's face as she struggled to sit up. Looking at her bruised face, Aiden realized he should have brought some ice. The swelling of her cheek shrunk, but the bruises were still purple and blue. She grimaced and then gasped when she finally sat up, her arm wrapped around her torso. His anger intensified as he watched her. He hated the thought of her coming to harm from his own friends when he assured her of the importance of her safety to him.

He realized he had gotten lost in his thoughts and Faith quietly sat with her gaze focused on the food. He handed her the plate and realized how cold it must have been. Even if he did heat it up it would grow cold again once he got to the third floor. The Bliss herald didn't seem to mind, he watched with a slight fascination as she piled the eggs, sausage, potatoes and bacon between two pancakes and ate it as a sandwich. His eyes widened and his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

"You made a McGriddle! I never would have thought of that."

Faith glanced up at him in confusion. "What's a McGriddle?"

Aiden felt his jaw drop. Then he quickly thought over all of the restaurants he's passed and explored in Hope County and realized he never came across a McDonalds. In fact, the entire county didn't have anything other than locally owned restaurants. "It's a sandwich similar to what you just made, only smaller. It's great."

She seemed to be only half listening to him, her eyes closed as she took another bite.

"I, uh," he paused and took a step back. It was highly awkward for him to silently watch her eat. "I'll go get you something to drink."

"Wait," she said before swallowing. "I don't—I mean—I still have some water."

Aiden glanced down and saw a nearly empty water bottle by the foot of the cot. Considering what she went through in his absence he could understand her not wanting to be left alone.

"Why don't we play your questions game?" She asked before taking another bite.

It was the second time for Aiden's eyebrows to jump into his hairline. "Okay." He didn't feel like leaving to fetch a chair, so he sat on the cot on the opposite side of her. His burns pulled, but not too painfully thanks to the meds. "I'll take the first question."

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before she finally asked, "was it Jacob that…conditioned you?"

Aiden frowned, he hadn't expected that question. And despite the rules of the game he made up he really wished she wouldn't press for what song would trigger him. Despite being concerned for her safety she had yet to earn any type of trust with him and he was hesitant to provide that much information.

"Yeah," he admitted, "he did. It took several weeks, probably months. Time was lost to me during the whole ordeal. It was the worst time of my life." Thankfully she didn't press him for any more details. "What do you know about it?"

Faith finished her meal. "I…not much. He actually offered the Father to do the same to me before…before I—"

"—Before you became devoted to the Father?" It was technically a question, but he said it in a way that sounded more like an assumption.

The younger woman lowered her gaze to the floor. "Before _and_ afterwards."

"With how many women were named Faith before you, I'd imagine he meant it as a failsafe," Aiden continued. "Did you know Jacob had to consider a person 'weak' before he chose to condition them?"

She shook her head. "I only know that he offered to do that to me, but the Father refused. He—he had faith in me."

Aiden suppressed a sigh. He realized it wasn't his turn to ask a question, but he didn't want them to stray from the subject, especially since she brought it up in the first place. "I'm surprised you hadn't heard that Jacob subjugated me to his 'conditioning.'"

Faith looked between annoyed and angry. "Why is that so surprising? My duty was to produce Bliss. John and Jacob had their own duties." She watched him with large, inquiring blue eyes. "What did he make you do? Jacob I mean."

The junior deputy's face fell. "What he failed to do himself," he shrugged. "He couldn't deal with the Whitetail Militia so he made me do his dirty work."

"I heard you earlier," Faith's voice was soft. He recognized the pity in her eyes. "It sounded…frightening."

Aiden sighed. "At least you were spared from it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

She nodded. "Like I said, I didn't know the details about it. But in the worst cases, sometimes the Father chose whether to give the most stubborn people to Jacob or me."

Anger warmed Aiden's face. "Stubborn? Is that how you see it as? The people that refused to join the Project?"

There was a flash of fear when Faith looked at him. "Yes."

"Tell me, Faith." Aiden rubbed at his eyes. Sleep called to him even more heavily now that he had a full stomach. "You resisted at first. But then you submitted and you had a taste of happiness. Would you have submitted knowing you had happiness elsewhere?"

She hesitated to answer at first, but she looked thoughtful. "I don't know."

"Tracey told me you both knew something wasn't right with the cult. Some people have children, families. If you know something isn't right with people, would you want to leave your loved ones at their mercy? It isn't always about being stubborn, these people all have their own reasons for resisting. Especially those that did nothing and were kidnapped, abused and tortured."

He continued to watch Faith, but she kept her gaze down towards the floor. A mixture of pain and regret reflected on her face at least, so he took that as a sign that she was at least sensible enough to recognize the cruelty of the cult.

"I understand the cult was welcoming if you accepted their ideals. I've seen it with a lot of people that stay with bad people simply because they have a place to belong. But you can't _force_ people to do what you want, even if you think it's for their best interest."

He leaned back against the wall. "Sorry, I got a bit carried away."

Faith shook her head.

"So, I think it's your turn for a question now," Aiden replied.

"Because of your…condition, are you really going to sleep somewhere else?"

Aiden scratched his nose absentmindedly. "I'm afraid so. You heard me this morning. It wouldn't be safe for you either if something like that happens again. I could hurt you or I can draw so much attention and you can be discovered. It's best if I sleep elsewhere."

She was quiet for a moment, her face looked thoughtful again and then he noticed a flash of fear. "Have you tried reversing it?"

He shrugged in response, then promptly regretted it when the action pulled at his burns. "I don't even know if it _can_ be reversed."

"It can," Faith replied. A second later she appeared surprised.

Aiden lifted an eyebrow. Did she not mean to admit that information? "I thought you didn't know much about it."

She looked torn, as if unsure on how to respond. "When it comes to what Jacob did exactly I don't know anything. But I was…afraid that the Father would change his mind about me being conditioned as well. So I did some research of my own to see if there were ways to reverse it."

Aiden laughed. "You are a clever one, Faith. You helped create a brainwashing hallucinogen and now this." His eyes softened. "Your intelligence was wasted here."

It wasn't until Faith looked at him with an offended expression that he realized what he had said.

"You think the Bliss brainwashes people?" She asked.

Aiden felt his mouth open, but he didn't know what to say. Finally, after a moment, he thought of something. "The Bliss may offer temporary peace to a person, but you've used it in ways that's no different than what Jacob did to me. I don't know how you did it, but the marshal allowed you to breach the jail's defenses. And you nearly made the sheriff hang himself. Then there are the Angel's that will do hard labor and act as cannon fodder without any complaints or concern for their own wellbeing. If that's not brainwashing then what is it?"

Faith was at a loss of words. She went from looking offended to appearing confused and somewhat conflicted. "You said that it was horrible, what you went through. But the marshal enjoyed the peace that the Bliss brought, as did the sheriff. The Angels are actually happy when they're kept busy so they aren't suffering." She paused, looking thoughtful still. "So maybe it is similar to brainwashing, but at least the person doesn't suffer."

"I can understand you want to 'save' people, if you joined the cult and became happy then others can too. But no one should be forced into anything, especially if it causes them harm. I'd expect you of all people to know that."

She remained silent, but the way her eyebrows furrowed and how she kept her gaze away from him while biting on her lower lip was a telltale sign that she was conflicted on how to respond.

"You know I have no one to tell on what _you_ think, there's nothing to be scared of."

She finally looked at him then. "What makes you think I'm afraid?"

Not wanting to pull on his burns too much, he shrugged one shoulder on the side that wasn't burnt. "Despite your troubled past, you aren't angry, you don't wish to hurt people. You still do it because that's the price to be accepted, but you don't seem to enjoy it."

She sighed, but then promptly winced. He noted how she kept her next few breaths shallow. He slowly stood with a groan and stepped up to her. There was another flash of fear in her eyes which melted the remaining anger he felt over her comment about innocent people simply refusing to join the cult because of stubbornness. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the pain pills Charles gave him the night before. With his palm open, he offered her the small white tablets.

"What are they?"

"For the pain," he answered. She needed no further encouragement, she grabbed the pills quickly and swallowed them dry with some difficulty.

He turned to head back to his cot and barely heard her whisper, "thank you."

Aiden sat back on the cot a little too heavily. He lost track of whose turn it was to ask a question, but Faith didn't seem to be caring about the rules of the game. He thought about asking her about her altercation with Jess again, but he found it unnecessary for now. He still had his own conversation with Jess later.

Then he thought about asking her about reversing Jacob's conditioning, but he couldn't help but feel it would be pointless to ask her judging by her surprised expression when she admitted it was possible. Plus, he didn't really have anything to offer her in exchange for the information and he already failed to keep her from harm.

He caught her still taking shallow breaths. "I know it hurts, but you need to take deep breaths every now and then."

She looked at him questionably.

"I've had a few broken ribs, courtesy of your brother John."

He guessed she did as he suggested judging by the frequent times she grimaced.

Even though he wasn't sure whose turn it was to ask their question, one suddenly popped into his head. "The last time we played this game you asked if John tattooed me, so you were aware of what he did to people. Did he give you one?"

Faith shook her head and then she motioned towards her own tattooed arm. "He was the one that gave me this one. But he had no sin to give me."

Aiden nodded. "Yours looks a lot nicer, clean. Much better looking than mine. Then again I wasn't exactly willing." Subconsciously he began rubbing his chest. It was clear of any infection, but still it tended to burn or itch time to time.

"Were you close to John or Jacob?" He asked.

Faith hesitated a quick moment before she shook her head again. "They both accepted me and treated me well. But we were all busy with our duties. We rarely interacted."

Aiden followed up with another question, but Faith didn't seem to mind it. He wondered if she was just glad to have a conversation, it was possible she was isolated from any other interaction while he was gone. "Besides the Father, did the other Seed brothers ever frighten you?"

The question caught her off guard and she remained silent. "Maybe at first. But when I was accepted into their family they've been nothing but loving brothers."

"I see," Aiden replied. He wasn't sure why he was curious of her relationship with all Seed brothers. He supposed he was still looking for examples to give her of why love shouldn't include fear.

Despite Faith's bruised face, she looked as exhausted as he felt. Her eyes were red and narrowed. A full stomach after who knows how long probably increased the pull of sleep for her as well.

"Listen," he pushed off the cot and stood, "you look tired. Why don't we continue another time?"

The younger woman didn't argue. Her response was a weak nod and she grimaced again as she laid down on the cot. She seemed to have fallen asleep after another shallow breath.

Exhaustion left his muscles feeling stiff, which forced him to limp back to his cell. Still weary about dreaming of _that_ song, Aiden locked his cell and slid the keys just out of his reach. Sleep came for him quickly.

He dreamt of flames licking at his skin. The heat of the fire made him sweat and once he began to feel the pain his eyes snapped open. Sunlight still filtered in through the small window of his cell. He thought about going back to sleep but he felt alert enough to go about the rest of his day. He still wanted to set up his new sleeping quarters.

After he roamed about his cell to ward off the stiffness of his legs, he caught Jess' attention from her own cell. Aiden realized the keys he tossed away were missing, but Jess had reclaimed them when she pulled them out to unlock his cell.

"You feelin' alright?" She asked before she fully turned the key.

"Yeah," he nodded, "good as new."

"The sheriff came up while you were sleeping. He and Hurk already cleared out one of the isolation cells for you. You just need to take your mattress in there, and whatever else you need." Jess explained.

The junior deputy nodded and looked about his cell. He didn't have much other than a bag of his clothes, weapons and other small supplies. After he showered his bag he turned to Jess. "Mind helping me with this? I'd take it myself, but…" He motioned towards his injuries.

Jess nodded and stepped into his cell. Together, they carried his small, thin mattress towards the hall that housed all of the isolation cells. Thankfully they were also on the third floor so Aiden didn't have to worry about rousing even more suspicion from the other jail inhabitants.

The isolation cell was small, much smaller than the other cells. It held only one steel frame for the mattress, the toilet and sink and didn't have a window. The cell was cold and smelled of dirt.

"We have the keys for this place, right?" Aiden asked.

The hooded woman dusted off her hands and nodded before she jingled the keyring that was wrapped around her wrist.

 _It's now or never_ , Aiden thought.

"Listen, Jess," the deputy started. "I think I'm gonna take another nap. Before I do though I can't quite reach one of the burns on my back. Could you be a lamb and put some of the ointment on it?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Turn around."

Aiden turned and lifted his shirt just high enough to expose the burn that was on his lower back. He pulled out the ointment from his pocket and handed it to Jess over his shoulder. He could feel the callouses on her fingers that was from her bow usage.

Jess swore. "They really did a number on you," she muttered.

"It looks worse than it feels," Aiden confessed. He couldn't help but notice the way her fingers lingered on his skin.

When she finally pulled away he lowered his shirt and turned back towards her. She handed him back the small tube of the ointment. The moment he accepted the tube back he reached for the knife that Jess kept on her belt.

Despite moving so quickly, and without her expecting it, Jess' reflexes were far superior than his own. Jess grabbed his wrist and jabbed him in the gut. His breath expelled out of his lungs painfully and he doubled over, coughing and gasping. His burns screamed from the sudden blow.

"What the _hell_ , Aiden!" Fury ignited in Jess' blue eyes.

Once the junior deputy caught his breath, he stood up straight and returned Jess' glare. Her anger sizzled for a fraction of a second before she hardened her expression again.

"I should be asking the same thing," Aiden responded. "I'm twice your size and you had no problems stopping me from getting your knife." Maybe he was exaggerating their size difference a bit, he was a whole head taller than Jess. But his body mass was easily double hers. "You don't trust Faith so you'd never let your guard down with her. Then your strength and reflexes overpower hers. Yet she was able to get your knife?"

All anger was gone from Jess' eyes despite the frown that was still plastered on her face. She was speechless.

"How was she able to get your knife, Jess?" Aiden pressed. When the shorter woman remained silent he continued. "Correct me if I'm wrong. But I think you _let_ her take your knife so you'd have an excuse to beat her."

Jess' silence was all that Aiden needed to confirm his suspicions. And it was the very reason why he tried to take her knife in the first place to prove his point.

"Am I wrong?" He asked her.

With a sigh, Jess relented and let out a string of curses. "Fine. You're not wrong."

Aiden felt his anger ball up in his chest, his face heated from the emotion. "You _promised_ me, Jess!"

There was no show of guilt or regret in Jess' facial expression, only anger. "I promised you I wouldn't kill her. And I didn't!"

Aiden shook his head. "Only because Grace was there to literally pull you away! What if she didn't show up? Tell me, Jess. Would you have stopped?"

"What the hell does it matter? Why do you care what happens to that bitch? Have you forgotten the people she's killed?"

"I haven't forgotten that she wasn't the one to kill those people with her own hands." Jess opened her mouth but Aiden pressed on. "Yes, I know she still gave orders to the Peggies that killed people, she's still guilty of that. But, she's our prisoner, she's harmless now. Killing a harmless person makes you no better than a Peggie, Jess."

The anger in her eyes intensified. For all that they experienced together since he freed her when he stepped out of Dutch's bunker, he had never compared her to the people she's understandably hated. Not when she killed Peggies in their sleep, not when she killed Peggies that surrendered and begged for mercy. It was definitely a low blow, but he was too angry to care at the moment.

"And don't think I haven't noticed how she's been starved and she's terrified to be left alone."

"So she's having a little taste of her own medicine," Jess shrugged.

"That's where you're wrong," Aiden said, "starving and terrifying would be giving a taste of what Jacob did. Faith isn't Jacob."

"I know that!" Jess yelled.

Aiden was glad he waited to have this conversation where their voices couldn't be heard. He'd probably have to deal with a swarm of people rushing up to the third floor by now.

The wounds and fatigue hit Aiden like a brick. Their short argument sapped him of the little energy he recovered from his nap.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I hate arguing like this, Jess." His tone expressed the exhaustion he felt. "I wasn't lying when I said I trust you the most. We both went through too much together and yet we're still alive, thanks to each other. When all this is over I don't want to see you behind bars like the other Peggies. Please don't sink to their level."

Jess let out a bitter laugh, but Aiden could see a change of her eyes, but he couldn't figure out the emotion. Maybe his words hit home.

"What does that mean? You're gonna arrest me?" Anger was returning in her tone. "You're _really_ gonna let a Peggie come between us?"

"Damnit, Jess." Aiden felt a headache stab him between his eyes. "Faith isn't forcing you to beat her. She's helpless to defend herself. If you kill her that's murder. Despite our friendship, I'm still a deputy sheriff."

" _Wake up_ , Aiden! Faith doesn't need the Bliss to be a threat, remember? She's a manipulator. She bats her eyelashes and plays the damsel in distress to get you to pity her. A pretty girl that needs to be rescued, and you're falling right for it. She has you wrapped around her finger and you don't even realize it!" Jess' outburst had her nearly out of breath, her chest heaved in and out rapidly.

Aiden stood stunned for a moment. He and Jess had a similar conversation, back when they both went to get medical supplies when he first brought Faith to the jail. "That's what you think?" His tone wasn't angry, he was more disappointed that his closest friend thought so low of him. "Faith hasn't played the damsel. She doesn't _tell_ me anything that you've done to her. She hasn't been trying to manipulate or turn me against you."

In fact, Aiden thought, Faith could be an old, wrinkly woman with no teeth and he'd still treat her the same way as he did now. Would still pity her for the things she went through growing up, would still pity her for the woman she turned out to be simply because she was desperate to be accepted and loved. He knew all too well of the frustration it was to want to earn someone's love.

"Oh yeah?" Jess scoffed. "And what will happen when Faith kills someone? Kills _me_?"

"She's not like you," Aiden argued. "She's not a fighter. She's not like the Seed brothers either. Sure that doesn't dismiss the fact she still hurt a lot of people, caused people to die. But she isn't ruthless like the Seeds. Without the Bliss she's harmless."

Jess shook her head slowly.

"I know I won't change your mind," Aiden continued. "And you won't change mine. So how about we just make sure that you and Faith don't have to deal with each other anymore?"

The compromise looked to have no affect on Jess, not that Aiden expected it to. The best he could do would be to keep Jess busy and maybe even away from the jail. Not that he expected to keep Faith in the prison for much longer.

"Whatever," was Jess' response. She was very much still angry and Aiden knew she was the type of person that needed time alone to cool off. So when she turned and headed out of the cell he let her go.

He was hurting and he needed to rest before someone else came through that door with another problem he would have to fix. With a heavy sigh, Aiden sat on his cot and laid down gently. He only hoped Jess would remember their conversation and steer clear of the third floor. But if she tried anything to take her anger out on Faith at least the others were still there.

That thought was the only thing that convinced him to close his eyes and rest. He dreamt of the Bliss and the mushroom clouds of nuclear bombs. Then he heard Faith's voice and the words she said were familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had heard them at first. Finally, just as she repeated the words a final time he remembered when she said them. She told him these words when he rebuked her warnings about freeing marshal Burke and took him out of the Bliss anyway and escaped with him.

 _All my life I dealt with people like you. People who underestimate sweet, innocent Faith. You see what you wanna see…a playful butterfly, a delicate flower…a child with childish thoughts. It's easier to disregard a child. Tracey made the same mistake as you. While you all ignored me, I walked right through every one of you._


	18. The Deal

Ambivalence

Chapter 18: The Deal

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

It hadn't been long since Aiden left that Faith began to feel horrible. She had been laying and waiting for sleep when her stomach cramped and her mouth watered with nausea. She figured because she was near starving for days that having such a heavy meal upset her stomach, but she was determined not to fall ill. Between the constant ache with her still healing bruises and wounds, having to endure hunger for days was maddening.

 _Have you ever been so hungry that you'd eat whatever was thrown on the ground?_

Jess' words echoed in Faith's throbbing head. This morning she felt like she had reached that point of desperation where she would have eaten anything, spoiled and moldy. Anything to rid the hunger pains. And when Aiden walked into her cell with a plate stacked with food she nearly attacked him just to get a handful. It took all of her willpower to sit patiently.

 _One of Jacob's men had a fondness of starving people. Hell, I watched as he starved_ children _and fed them pieces of their own parents._

Another wave of nausea struck her. She clamped a hand over her mouth and sat in front of the toilet, just in case. Faith always had a very active imagination. Now that she understood how painful it was to go days with little to no food it was easy to imagine gnawing on flesh, raw and bloody. The fact if it was animal or human wouldn't matter, so long as something was eaten.

The thought made her dry heave, but she quickly swallowed and swallowed to keep the bile down. Her water supply was gone after two swallows so she succumbed to filling one of her bottles with water from the sink and slowly sipped it. The last time she felt this sick was years ago when she went through her drug withdrawals. The Father had given her doses of scopolamine to ease her painful symptoms. How she wished she had some now.

Through sheer determination she managed to keep her food down. But her thoughts continued to go back to what Jess had told her about Jacob and his men. She was honest with Aiden when she told him she was unaware of what was done to the people in Whitetail, but that was mostly because she turned a blind eye to it. Ignorance was bliss after all.

But to get such a small taste of what those people, and children, had gone through made it easier to sympathize for them. She never liked the cruelty the Father and his— _her_ brothers did. But the fear from that cruelty demanded her obedience and devotion, it quickly forced her to accept the necessity of it. She couldn't help the feeling of admiration that bloomed as she thought over the people that fought against the cult. She still thought it was stupid, it was so much easier to just accept the embrace of the Father.

Another wave of nausea and dry heave flared the throb in her ribs and head, but Faith still fought against the sickness. She knew she would feel better if she just got it out of her system, but she would rather endure the nausea than feel that type of hunger again. Plus the food was given to her from Aiden, it was another show of his kindness. To throw it up felt like she was throwing away his kindness. All her life people had only been mean and hateful towards her, even when she was still friends with Tracey she was still treated coldly by her at times. So she tended to cherish the few acts of kindness and love that only the Father and now Aiden have given her.

 _Would you have submitted knowing you had happiness elsewhere?_

It was dumb, but Faith's vision blurred with tears. It was traitorous to feel such doubts. She had only been truly happy with the Father and the community, the family, that he built. But she still thought on Aiden's question, and she slowly felt herself give into the temptation of the thought that if she did have her own happiness, she wouldn't have given in to the Father, she wouldn't have done all those horrible things just to earn and keep his affection.

But it was too late now. She didn't regret the monstrous things she's done. Because at least now she finally experienced love. It was a stupid thing she grew up wondering, how it would feel to have a loving family. How it would feel to be cherished. And when she thought she was going to die in that river, back when Aiden shot and left her for dead, she was at least contempt that she would die knowing that someone would mourn her.

By the time her small window showed the moon high in the sky the nausea passed. Faith shakily climbed to her feet and washed the sweat from her face. The coolness of the water felt heavenly against the still slight throb in her head.

Fighting against her illness for the whole day left her lethargic and eager for the uncomfortable, stiff mattress. Before she laid down to sleep she unwrapped the bandages from her leg and peeked at the wound. She expected to see it closed up and scarred, instead the sight of the puckered and still open bullet hole made her frown. It worried her that after days the wound still hadn't healed. She pressed a slim finger against the flesh next to the hole and winced with the pain that came.

With a sigh, she wrapped the bandage back onto her limb and slowly laid back on the cot. It wasn't long before sleep claimed her.

She was startled awake from a painful thump against her still not healed leg. Dread immediately settled heavily in her gut. With Aiden sleeping elsewhere it seemed she would return to sleepless nights. Faith did her best to ignore the emotions of frustration and despair and tried changing her sleeping position so her head was closer to the bars.

Faith hadn't realized she fell asleep until she was awoken again by something sharp pricking against her scalp. She rubbed a hand on the spot that hurt but there was no blood, thankfully. The frustration she felt earlier grew. She just wanted a moments peace! Was she so monstrous she didn't even deserve that?

She gave up on sleep and decided to feign it instead. With an arm draped over her eyes, but with a gap large enough for her to see through, she waited to see who would come to antagonize her.

As the evening progressed, the moon drifted away from her tiny window and left her cell darker. It was probably time for everyone else to turn in for the evening because more lights dimmed or shut off. So when someone finally did pass by she could only make out a dark silhouette. The person appeared short, thin and had the unmistakable shape of a woman with hips wider than their thin waist. Then the person reached into the cell and poked her foot with something sharp again. They moved fast and silently, even with Faith watching the person she couldn't hear their footsteps as they rushed out of sight.

Faith continued to wait and watch as the same person passed by her cell and kept stabbing or slapping her feet or injured leg. She thought about timing a kick to scare them off, but the fear of another beating kept her from going through with that plan. Then she tried to count the minutes that passed between each visit but there was never a consistent time lapse. Sometimes she would fall asleep while waiting.

Eventually Faith was so tired and frustrated more tears cascaded down her swollen cheeks. She couldn't keep doing this. She fought with herself wondering if she should just pretend to reveal a location of where to find the Father. But she couldn't just give a location by random, if she told them he could be found somewhere that the resistance had control of then they would know she was lying. She didn't want to think about what they would do to her, especially Jess. She didn't want to trigger the woman to act out on her threat to sneak her out to a location that even Aiden wouldn't know to look.

But then if Faith stuck to more truthful knowledge and gave a possible location the Father could be hiding in, well she didn't want to betray him. Her body shuddered in fear of what the Father would do to _her_. Her dream of him strangling her to death was still very fresh in her mind. A phantom pain squeezed at her throat.

The constant struggle of a plan ate more and more at Faith's mental state. The mystery visits continued and Faith was nearing her breaking point. And finally, when the shadowy figure stuck in what looked like a belt and slapped the metallic buckle of it against her leg so hard she felt the pain travel up her leg and all the way to her teeth, Faith snapped.

"Stop it!" She shouted. Immediately after she regretted her outburst. Blood drained from her face. The entire jail wing was silent and she just drew attention to herself. A sliver of logic reasoned that her voice couldn't possibly be recognized, not when her voice was hoarse and filled with emotion. But the crippling fear squashed that logic and told her that not even Aiden would be able to save her, not when he was who knows where.

The figure hadn't run away, it remained in front of her cell in a taunting manner. Faith gave into the fear and scrambled out of her cot and curled up in a corner, as far away from the silhouette as possible. She couldn't breathe right, each gasp made her wince. If she could only hold out until the morning then she had a chance. Aiden would have to visit her in the morning.

For now, Faith could use the silence to her advantage. If Jess or anyone tried to take her away she'd scream. No, she couldn't do that. Drawing that kind of attention to her would only blow her cover and the resistance would surely kill her if they came to investigate her screams.

Faith felt herself break. There was nothing she could do. She'd be killed or continuously tortured no matter what she did. It was possible even Aiden couldn't protect her, not with his condition. That could be held against him from the very people he led, it could cost him their trust. He'd be powerless to protect her. A small part of her wondered if it wasn't above Jess or Tracey to use that condition to have him kill her himself.

The Bliss herald was helpless to stop the sobs that shook her body. She bit her arm to silence herself, but it still felt like her cries cut through the silence like a hot knife through butter.

Through her sobs she heard something clatter and slide on the dirt covered floor. Her body stiffed thinking her punishment for her outburst was to come. She finally gathered the courage to look up. The person still stood in front of her cell but they pointed at something on the ground.

Faith wiped her arm across her eyes and looked towards where she heard the clatter. There was something there. She reached for it and her fear dimmed upon feeling the thin, circular plastic. When she pulled it close she recognized it was a syringe.

With her emotions and thoughts in turmoil she didn't hesitate to use it. She was so desperate for a break from her thoughts and fears, she just wanted a moment of peace. Despite being sober for the last few years, not including time she broke that streak recently, Faith was too practiced to be able to pull the cap free in the darkness and injected it between her toes easily.

It hit her quickly. With a smile, she capped the syringe and slid it across her cell and back towards the person that gave it to her. She didn't care that the person remained, watching her. All too soon the high was gone and Faith cried again.

Her ears perked when she heard a clatter again. She looked and found the familiar shape on the floor. Was it empty? With only one way to find out, Faith reached for it and strained to see if the syringe was empty in the little light that streamed in through the window. Her heart soared when she discovered it was a new, filled one. Still desperate to escape her inner turmoil, Faith uncapped it and injected herself again. The high felt better, stronger, and all of her pains melted away.

It was then that the person whispered. Their voice was so soft Faith struggled to hear her, but she immediately recognized the voice belonged to Tracey. "Where's the Father?"

Faith shook her head, she was too high to realize the person probably couldn't see her gesture, but she still forced her voice to work. "I don't know."

With another smile, Faith tossed the empty plastic back to Tracey and laid on the cold floor, her wavering gaze focused on the ceiling. She could faintly hear Tracey snicker and then walk away. But Faith didn't care, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the ride. By the time it passed, she fell asleep.

The next morning, Faith regretted her decisions. She had a new type of hunger, she needed another high. She didn't want to feel sober anymore, not with the constant thoughts of doubt and fear bouncing inside her head. She needed peace just for a little while. It was like an itch that wouldn't go away no matter how much she scratched. Then she realized she was really scratching her arm and stopped. Heavy footsteps approached her and she quickly pulled the sleeve down to cover her scratches.

Aiden stood on the other side of the bars. "'Morning," his voice was thick from sleep. Faith could immediately tell there was something different about his tone. He sounded monotone, distant. And whenever he greeted her he always sported a small smile that worked wonders in soothing her anxiety or fear, but this time there was no smile.

Did he have another rough night that was the cause of his different behavior towards her?

"Morning," Faith replied. Disappointment filled her as she watched Aiden had only stopped by and continued walking away from her. The disappointment turned to fear. Without Aiden nearby it was a guarantee that Tracey or Jess would torment her. Worse, today was shower and laundry day.

Despite sleeping for an hour or two she felt heavy with exhaustion and sat on her cot. Her body demanded sleep but the fear kept her wide awake.

* * *

Tracey waited for Jess in the women's restroom on the third floor. Grace had guard duty for the evening so she was sleeping and Adelaide was helping out in the infirmary so they didn't have to worry about anyone walking in and overhearing them. She didn't have to wait long. The door opening and closing announced Jess' entry.

"How did it go?"

Tracey liked that about Jess, she was always straight to the point and didn't beat around the bush with stupid small talk and pleasantries. "Everything is going to plan," she grinned at the other woman. "She's indulging in her old habits. If we keep messing with her she'll want more and more. She shot up two doses last night."

Jess nodded. "You'd think with all the shit that's been happening we'd have a shortage of drugs, but there's plenty if you know who to ask. So if you need more just let me know."

"I'll definitely need more. I hid another one in her cell and I'm sure with the right push she'll find it and use it," Tracey explained.

"So then what's the plan?" Jess asked. "Get her to talk if she's doped up?"

Tracey shrugged. "I asked her where the Father was after she shot up the second time. She still insists she doesn't know. But I'm sure she'll change her tune when she's desperate for more." She paused and frowned as she thought over the events of the previous evening. "She shouted when I hit her with the favorite thing her real father was fond of using on her. Has anyone said anything?"

"Nah," Jess waved lazily. "People get nightmares all the time so no one is suspicious of anything."

"Good," Tracey breathed a sigh of relief. She was caught off guard when Rachel shouted. Even though it was highly unlikely anyone would have known her shout came from the third floor she still had that paranoia. "If you can distract Aiden I'll convince Grace to let me take her for her shower and laundry. I don't think it'll take much to get her feeling miserable and eager for more drugs."

Jess nodded. Her silence didn't sit well with Tracey, and she seemed distracted. They didn't know each other long, but Tracey knew the hooded woman was usually eager to discuss their plans to make Rachel talk. She was even more eager to express her hatred for her as well. "Something wrong?"

It didn't take much probing to get Jess to spill her thoughts. The woman immediately let out a string of curses which included Aiden's name. "Yeah, I don't like the influence flower bitch is getting on Aiden, and he's underestimating her."

That thought immediately made Tracey's gut twist in concern. She of all people knew how manipulative Rachel was. She cursed in response. "Are you sure? How do you know?"

She listened as Jess explained Aiden's concern for Rachel, how he consistently defended her and his threat to arrest her should she continue to do harm to the bliss herald.

Tracey cursed again and paced about the bathroom, her hands on her hips. "We can't let her get in Aiden's head. We're _so close_ to defeating the cult." She stopped pacing when an idea came into her head.

"I got it." Jess looked towards her. "Why don't you give Aiden an ultimatum? If he insists on defending Rachel you can threaten to let everyone know she's still alive. I guarantee if one person finds out there'll be a mob that will march to her cell and kill her within a minute."

Tracey was surprised again to observe as Jess hesitated, she expected her to jump at the idea. She visibly hated Rachel and nearly killed her twice if not for Grace who had to snap her out of her rage.

Finally Jess voiced her thoughts. "What if that backfires? The people here could mistrust Aiden for keeping her alive secret and hidden here, after everything she did. And—" she paused again.

"And?" Tracey pressed.

"—I still gave him my word that I wouldn't kill her."

Tracey was at a loss of what to say. She had a strong urge to laugh but she didn't want to offend the woman, not after she's seen the state she left Rachel's face in. But she quickly thought over the many times she's seen Aiden and Jess together. Even with an outsiders perspective she could see the closeness the two shared. Jess rarely showed any emotion other than anger, if she wasn't angry she was stoic and impatient. But with Aiden she was…happier in a sense.

When Aiden returned with the marshal she remembered it was mostly Jess that dragged both men in. When Tracey and the sheriff had to inject pure adrenaline into Aiden to snap him out of his bliss trance Jess there was a deep look of concern in her eyes. She was overprotective of the deputy as he recovered, she wouldn't let anyone near him until he was back on his feet.

"Technically you wouldn't be the one to kill her, so you'd still be keeping your word," Tracey explained.

Jess shook her head. "I know that, and I don't care if I'm arrested. What I _do_ care about is," she hesitated to continue.

"You don't want to lose Aiden's trust?"

"Yeah," Jess scoffed. "It's stupid…especially since I nearly killed Faith twice already. But I don't like this rift we're getting because of _her_."

"Jess," Tracey began, "I hate to put you in this position, but what's more important to you? Your promise to Aiden or making sure he doesn't do something that benefits Rachel? What if he let's her go? What if she kills him? Or turns him into an Angel?"

She wasn't sure what she had said specifically that triggered something in Jess. Her eyes hardened and her jaw and fists clenched. "Okay, okay." She swore. "I'll talk to him."

Tracey cracked her fingers. "Great. Now go distract him. Hell, have that talk with him. I'll take care of Rachel."

* * *

How could he have forgotten?

Aiden couldn't sleep well that night, his thoughts kept going back to his dream and Faith's words. Then he remembered Jess' warning about falling for her lies. He could argue he had forgotten Faith's own admission of manipulation due to him nearly becoming an Angel himself, if not for the sheriff and Tracey.

Then shortly afterwards he recovered was when the jail was attacked and the marshal killed himself. Aiden sought out Faith, nearly left her for dead. So much happened since then he didn't have time to digest her own words, it was a matter of trying to keep her alive and finding out where the Father was. Then their problems escalated when the Chosen began to attack their strongholds and herd the resistance into one location in each of the three regions of the county.

Despite what Faith told him he had the opportunity to keep her alive. Without the Bliss she was no threat to him. Her time in jail had shown she posed no threat to anyone without the hallucinogen. But was Jess right? Did she merely pretend to be defenseless? Faith admitted to appearing sweet and innocent. And the very way she dressed supported her image of a child. Short dress, white to appear pure and innocent. He did not miss the way she would giggle and skip about in the Bliss either.

Still, Aiden felt torn. Without the Bliss and replace her confidence with fear and she was defenseless. She hadn't tried to manipulate him, it was his own initiative to treat her like a person, she hadn't taken advantage of that.

With a heavy sigh, Aiden slowly and carefully sat up. His burns continued to ache, but not as severely as the previous day. One bad thing about the small cell was that it had no window so he had no way of guessing what time it was. He hoped he didn't sleep until evening again though.

In isolation it was deathly quiet so upon stepping out Aiden's senses were assaulted from the sounds of voices from the floors below and the scent of food carried all the way from the other wing. His stomach ached with hunger but he really wanted to take a cold shower first. He couldn't remember washing up ever since he returned and seeing the water at his feet appear brown and red was revolting.

The shower and clean clothes left him feeling immensely better but it also relaxed him to the point where he felt like he could fall asleep while walking. He had been on his way to the mess hall when the sheriff flagged him down for a meeting. He really wanted to eat first but he decided it could wait, their meetings didn't usually last long.

The junior deputy followed the sheriff up to the third floor where they had their privacy to talk. He passed by Faith's cell and peeked inside. She was awake and watching him from her cot. Jess' words quickly flashed through his head and Aiden was suddenly feeling wary. He began to doubt her honesty about knowing how to reverse Jacob's conditioning.

Faith was honest about the stash of medical supplies but that was also fueled by her own need for survival, so it didn't take him much to figure out what she had to gain by sharing that information, whether she truly had it or not. It was odd to think of it then, but while he was feeling doubtful he wondered about the embrace she gave him when he returned. Was it genuine or did she think she could sway him?

"'Morning," he told her simply. He could have his doubts of Faith's intensions, but he would still treat her as he always had. Despite the doubts Jess planted in his head, he still recalled the advice from Grace. If he continued to be genuine with her then maybe she would come to trust him. He only wondered though, would having her trust prevent her from trying to manipulate him if she had the chance?

She seemed taken back for a second before she returned the greeting. The swelling on her face looked better, but her pale skin was still colored blue and a bit of healing yellow. With a silent sigh, Aiden continued following the sheriff into the cell they used for their meetings. He expected to see some of the others in the cell waiting but it was empty.

"How are you feeling, rook?" The sheriff asked. He pulled out a map from his pocket and unfolded it on the table that sat in the center of the cell.

Aiden pulled a chair and plopped on it. He forgot to apply the ointment the doctor gave him so his burns began to itch. "Better, could do with some more sleep though. But that'll come later." He gestured to the map. "So what's happened since I've been gone?"

The sheriff pointed to a section he had circled with a question mark in the middle, north of the whitetail mountains. "While you were gone I've gotten in contact with Fall's End and the militia in Whitetail."

"How are they?" Aiden asked. It felt like a lifetime ago that he interacted with the people from the other regions.

"Better than us it seems. With the Peggie numbers down the militia sent a squad of people to hike up the mountains, specifically from where people have spotted the Chosen planes coming from." He pointed towards the circle with the question mark. "No word from them yet, but hopefully they will learn something that can help us. The rest of their people haven't reclaimed any outposts but they've taken to spreading out in the mountains to root out as many Peggies as they can and it's been working for them. The people in Fall's End have been doing something similar, unlike us they didn't want to have everyone in one place. I think it's time we start doing something similar."

Aiden liked that idea and immediately nodded. "There are a lot of caves in Henbane River. Hopefully we can find more of the cult's stashes as well."

The sheriff looked at him. "I've already sent a few people out to scout out new places to camp at. Places that aren't so out in the open and vulnerable to be attacked by aircrafts." He paused and ran his fingers through his mustache. "I know you just got back, rook, but have you had any luck with Faith?"

By instinct, Aiden glanced outside the cell to see if anyone was hearing, specifically Faith, but he couldn't get a good view of her from his angle. He lowered his voice. "She told me that Jacob's conditioning can be reversed."

The sheriff's thick eyebrows lifted up towards the brim of his hat. "That's good news, but what if she's lying? Or what if she tries to make it worse?"

Aiden sighed and slouched in his seat. "I know, I have my doubts as well. But if she is telling the truth we don't have much to offer her in exchange for that information."

The sheriff paced about the cell. He also spoke with a soft tone. "There's only one thing that she wants and that's to return to Joseph. What if we offer her the freedom to leave? We can easily track her and use her to get to Joseph's location."

The junior deputy thought over the idea. "That just might work. Even if she's lying about the reversal, so long as we find Joseph that's all that matters."

The older male nodded with a smile that was nearly hard to see due to his large mustache. "Then it's settled. Let's hope she takes the bait."

Aiden pressed his lips together to remain silent. In the short time he's personally got to know Faith he was aware that she wasn't gullible. There was a chance that she wouldn't take his offer. He only wished and hoped that she would take it, however.

"Anything else, boss?"

The sheriff shook his head. "Not at the moment. Your job right now is to rest and recover. And of course let me know what she says about the offer."

"Will do," Aiden climbed to his feet and stretched, he winced when he heard his back pop.

Before he headed to the mess hall he stopped by his cell to put more of the burn ointment. He wasn't expecting to step inside and find Jess waiting for him, however.

"What are you doing here?" He asked the hooded woman.

Jess had been sitting on his cot and quickly jumped to her feet. "I've been looking for you. You weren't out there so I figured you'd come back here eventually. I thought about just hanging out near the flower bitch, figured you'd visit her often."

Aiden groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Not right now, Jess. Just…not right now. Why are you here?"

The shorter woman hesitated. She headed towards the door and peered out of the very small window. "You still look like you've been up all night. With how quiet it is in here how could you not have slept?"

A frown bloomed on Aiden's face. It was obvious Jess was dodging his question which only made him feel nervous. "You hate making small talk. And you haven't explained why you're here."

Jess cursed and turned to face him. "So I've been thinkin'."

"That's never a good thing," Aiden muttered humorously which earned him a light punch to his shoulder. Despite the tension he could feel he was glad they both could still indulge in a smile.

" _Anyway_ ," Jess continued, "about last night."  
"It wasn't our first argument, Jess." Aiden cut in. "I get you're concerned, but it's water under the bridge now."  
"Damnit, Aiden, just listen." Jess stepped back and took a deep breath. "It's wrong to underestimate Faith. You wouldn't have made that mistake with John or Jacob, right?"

"It was different with them," Aiden argued. "They were never in a position to be at our mercy." He sighed. "I understand your concern. We got this far by being careful and never underestimating the cult. But just because I choose to treat Faith civilly doesn't mean I'm not careful. I _know_ what she's capable of. So I'd appreciate it if you trusted me."

Jess crossed her arms and leaned back on the door. "It's not that I don't trust _you_. It's her I don't trust."

"And that's fine. I don't trust her either. But that doesn't make her deserving to be beaten and starved for information."

"No, but the fact that she has information we can use to put all this shit to rest does."

Aiden sighed in exasperation and threw his arms in the air. "Even in science there's more than one method to get the results that we want. I'm slowly earning her trust, and with it she told me something I didn't think was possible."

Jess scoffed. "And what would that be?"

Okay so Aiden was probably getting a little ahead of himself, especially since he didn't know for sure if Faith was being honest. But now wasn't the time to debate on it. He needed to convince Jess to leave her alone. "She knows how to reverse Jacob's conditioning."

The huntress lowered her arms and stared at him. She opened her mouth to speak but she was silent for a moment until she found her voice. "She's lying."  
Aiden nearly admitted the possibility. "It was information she looked like she didn't mean to blurt out. Regardless, the sheriff and I think we can use this to our advantage to find Joseph."

That got her attention. Jess lifted a scarred eyebrow. "How?"

"Faith hasn't told me the details yet. But I can make her an offer she can't refuse. In return for the details on how to reverse the conditioning we'll let her go."

Fury quickly reflected on Jess' face. But Aiden was faster, he lifted a hand. "Hear me out, okay? Then you can tell me all about how it's a bad idea. If you still feel that way."

Aiden had to hold in a chuckle as he watched Jess cross her arms over her chest again, the frown on her face almost made her look like she was pouting. "Fine."

"I've made other offers to Faith for information and she quickly refused all of them. But freedom is the only thing she desires so she can return to Joseph. So, if I offer her that freedom we can easily track her. Even if she doesn't know where he is no doubt she'll seek him out or vice versa."

A smile grew on the woman's face. "I like it."

Aiden smiled in return. "Yeah, I figured you would. So can you do me a favor and lay off the heat on her?"

Jess' frown returned to her face. "Provided she tells you the details on how to cure you I'm okay with it. I don't trust her with anything more, what if she knows a way to manipulate that conditioning? Using you to kill us seems a better deal for her than to trust us to let her go."

The deputy sighed. Leave it to Jess to always find the bad side of things.

Jess turned her back on him and looked out the tiny window again. "I know what I promised to you, Aiden," she paused briefly and turned back to face him and took a few steps towards him until they were nearly inches away from each other. "If she does something in any shape or form that's suspicious, I won't be the one that'll kill her."

With that, Jess turned and headed for the door. Before she left she turned slightly so she could peer at him over her shoulder. "I also thought you should know that word spread about your conditioning."

A mixture of disappointment and worry twisted in Aiden's gut. He knew it was a matter of time until word spread about it, but he didn't fathom it would happen so quickly.

Jess finally exited, leaving Aiden to his own thoughts. Her message seemed a bit cryptic, but after a moment he figured out the undertone of what she meant.

The all too familiar stress headache began to brew behind Aiden's eyes. The tiny, thin and uncomfortable mattress behind him was so tempting, but a stab of hunger motivated him to leave the cell and towards the mess hall.

Aiden wasn't sure if it was just his paranoia, but as he made his way to where the food was served he noticed the way some people would glance at him and immediately speak to others that drew more attention to him. He knew Jess wasn't one to lie, but he felt the truth in her warning. People knew and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know how'd they'd feel about it after they thought on it a bit more.

The meal being served was a spam and egg sandwich. The bread felt a bit firm, probably more food close to going bad. He stacked as many sandwiches as he could on his plate and remembered to grab some water bottles this time before he headed to the third floor. He was glad no one stopped to speak with him.

When he returned to Faith's cell she was dressed in different clothes from before and her hair was wet. Her eyes appeared red and puffy, clearly she had been crying. The moment she noticed him standing behind the bars she straightened and hardened her expression. Concern immediately tightened in Aiden's chest.

An array of thoughts crossed the deputy's head. Did something happen again? Jess had been with him up until now so that ruled her out. Did someone else do anything? Or could it be an act to create distrust between him and his friends?

Aiden shoved his thoughts aside and focused on the purpose of his visit. He stepped inside and walked up towards her. He noted the way she silently watched him with large, fearful eyes.

"What happened?" He doubted she would answer, but he still had to ask.

Faith opened her mouth to speak but her voice was rough and she stopped before she could say anything. Then she shook her head, as Aiden had predicted.

"I'm just…I miss my family."

Aiden sighed and set the plate on the edge of her bed and handed her a bottle of water. "Eat, I'll be right back." He quickly left to retrieve a chair, Faith had a half-eaten sandwich in her hands when he returned.

Eager to fill his empty belly, Aiden reached for a sandwich. When he reached for one he noticed how Faith gasped and dragged herself back until her back hit the wall with an audible thud. She winced and held in a yelp.

 _She's either a remarkable actress or her fear is very real_ , Aiden thought. To hell with it, he shoved his feelings of doubt aside and just accepted her reactions as genuine.

"Sorry, I probably should have told you I brought enough for us to share. Unless you think you can eat all that."

Faith didn't glance at the plate, she kept her gaze on him and after a moment he could see the stiffness fall from her shoulders. She shook her head and looked down at her own sandwich. "This is probably all that I can eat."

"Are you sure? I may be a glutton, but I don't think I can eat all of those."

"Eating too much makes me feel sick." Faith admitted. "I'm fine with just this. Thank you."

Aiden mentally cursed himself. He should have known better than to serve her so much food yesterday. Every time he was let go from one of Jacob's conditioning sessions, starved for days, he always grew sick when he ate too much. So then that confirmed that Faith had been starved while he was gone.

Pity and anger stirred in his chest and he angrily bit into his own sandwich to prevent himself from saying or doing anything. He reached for another sandwich, slowly this time, and was glad to see that Faith didn't pull away from his reach.

"So," he began. He wasn't sure how to go about offering her his deal and eventually just decided to ask her outright. "I have a new offer for you."

Faith paused mid-chew for a moment before she continued.

"About what you said yesterday, how Jacob's conditioning could be reversed."

The woman across from him narrowed her eyes, but she remained silent.

"If you help me reverse his conditioning," Aiden paused. He was about to say "we" would let her go but he thought if it wouldn't be better to change it to himself instead. He hoped it would be more believable that way. "I'll let you go."

It was then that Aiden realized how dull Faith's eyes appeared. Since they began eating they were no longer as puffy or red, but they still had appeared sad and lifeless. But now there was a flicker of light that sparked in them. As soon as her eyes lightened up they became dull again and she shook her head.

"How do I know you won't go back on your word and keep me here after I help you?"

Aiden sighed. "I don't blame you for not trusting me." He scooted his chair closer to her. "But I'm getting desperate, Faith." He lowered his voice. "People know about my 'condition.' They are already looking at me differently. You heard me yesterday morning, I'm a ticking time bomb that can hurt and kill a lot of people here. Soon they won't trust me and sleeping in an isolation cell won't be enough. They'll either lock me up in there permanently or force me out. And if a group of them decide to storm up here and force me to make a decision," he paused for a dramatic effect.

 _Faith wasn't the only one that could be manipulative_ , he thought. "They can discover you. I know some of my friends don't agree with you being here. And despite your silence I know they've done horrible things to you that no one should endure, no matter their crimes. Imagine what the Cougars will do?"

The woman visibly shivered and looked away from him, fear clearly etched in her expression. "You'll really let me go?"

Aiden sat straighter in his chair. "I don't mean to brag, but I got this far without any help from your people. It's a matter of time until we will find the Father. I had hoped we could find him sooner with your help, doing so would save more lives. But if we have to continue without your help then so be it." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "We'll sneak out. I'll drive us somewhere far from here and then I'll leave you with the car and I'll walk back. If anyone asks about you I'll just say I relocated you somewhere else for your safety."

Faith remained silent for a long time, but she continued to watch him, study him. Aiden maintained eye contact with her and made sure to keep looking at her with concern. Finally she blinked and took a deep breath, not without wincing though. She laid a hand on her ribs and took another deep breath.

"Okay," she whispered. "I help you and you drive me out of here and leave me. You don't follow me."

Aiden fought the smile that threatened to grow. He nodded and extended his hand towards her. Faith studied his hand a moment before she lifted her blue eyes to his own and grasped his large hand with her smaller one.

"Deal," he agreed. "When do we start?"

Faith shoved the remainder of her sandwich in her mouth before she rubbed her hands to clear them of bread crumbs. "Now."

* * *

A/N: A little heads up for the next chapter, the next chapter will show what happened between Faith and Tracey that took place towards the end of this chapter. Just thought I mention this to avoid any confusion. I also wanted to mention this in the previous chapter but kinda forgot. Someone pointed out that it's been a year since this story had been released and I had to admit I was surprised. I haven't been one to release lengthy stories, they're usually short and done within a few months. So I just had to extend a huge thank you to everyone that's stuck around with this story since day one, and just as much of a big thank you to those that have come across the story afterwards but still stuck with it with each update. And sorry for my delay in responding to reviews, especially those that are from guests where I have no way of responding. You guys are the best!


	19. Roots

Ambivalence

Chapter 19: Roots

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Anxiety nearly crippled Faith. It was laundry and shower day and even with Aiden nearby she had a sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen. Her fear doubled when Tracey appeared at her cell.

"Get your things, flower girl," her former best friend said.

With dread churning in her stomach, Faith climbed to weak and shaky feet and carried her box of clothes and shower supplies. While she followed the hooded woman she spotted Aiden and the sheriff in a cell on the opposite side of the walkway. Both men were deep in a discussion and had their backs to her. Knowing that neither of them were aware she was leaving with Tracey did not ease her anxiety.

The walk was short and quiet, thankfully Faith was able to keep up. While her leg hadn't healed much, it at least didn't hurt beyond a subtle ache when she put her body weight on it. It did feel bruised and stiff, but it wasn't debilitating. When they walked into the hallway that led towards the laundry room and showers, Faith spotted the tall man with the two colored hoodie from the other morning. He was apparently entertaining himself by hopping up and down the stairs. If he noticed her and Tracey he made no indication.

Tracey ushered her into the laundry room first. Faith was worried she'd find Jess waiting for her inside, but she breathed in relief when she found the room empty. Before Tracey could tell her anything, Faith quickly went about washing her clothes.

It was awkward after she dumped her meager clothes into two different machines because she had nothing else to do. But before she could find somewhere to sit Tracey motioned her towards the door.

"While those wash you can shower."

With a silent nod, Faith grabbed her box and followed the other woman. Her heart sped up as they approached the shower room. Again, the room was empty and Faith sighed in relief. But when she approached the showers she noticed all of them were already on. Then she realized how foggy the room appeared, the water spewing from all of the shower heads were throwing hot water. It felt like her stomach dropped to her ankles.

Faith nearly dropped her box and turned upon the sound of the door shutting. Tracey watched her with increasing anger in her eyes. With her in the way of the only exit, and steaming hot water pouring behind her, Faith had no where to go. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest, she was trapped.

"Well?" Tracey pointed towards the showers. "Wash up. I have other things to do, no thanks to everything you've done." Her voice hissed with venom.

Faith knew she shouldn't be slow to move, but she couldn't help it. The fear of anything or anyone attacking her made her hesitate. Did sound carry out of this room? Would Aiden be able to hear her all the way from here if she were to scream?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a hand grab her hair and she was suddenly shoved towards the steaming water. The water was _hot_ , she yelped and tried to jump away from it but the grip on her hair kept her in place. Her skin screamed in pain and she heard a shriek echo in the tiled room. By the time she realized the shriek came from her the grip on her hair vanished and she was free to jump out of the water's path. Despite the warmth spreading throughout her body she felt herself shake.

Faith caught movement in the corner of her eye, she turned and lifted her arms in reflex to shield herself. Tracey had always been thin but strong, stronger than she ever was. She was too weak to fend off Tracey's arms as she grabbed the collar of her shirt and thrust her back towards the showerheads, but not quite under the water. Faith could feel the hot drops of water bounce on the back of her exposed neck.

"I'm tired of playing this game, Rachel," Tracey hissed. She kept her voice low which made it fairly difficult to hear her due to the showers and the pounding of her heart in her ears.

For a quick moment, as fast as she could blink, anger replaced her fear. Faith opened her mouth to correct her former friend about her name, but Tracey cut her off with a shake of her hand that held her.

" _Where is the Father_?" After each word Tracey shook her.

"I don't—" Faith cried out again when she was shoved into the hot water. It didn't hurt as much this time, not since the stark temperature was no longer shocking to her own body temperature. But being under the water long enough did burn.

Without Tracey holding her in place, Faith quickly got out from under the water. Her clothes were soaked and in her haste she slipped and fell on her knees and hands, the impact from hitting the ground jarred her leg and ribs. She couldn't climb to her feet, she tried to steady her breathing.

Tracey slowly walked in a circle around her, like an predator trapping its prey. "I said I'm done with these games. You've lied to enough people, lied to _me_ ," she paused to scoff. "So anything you say we don't believe it."

Faith tried to get up but she felt a boot on her back, holding her down. "Like we are supposed to believe that _you_ don't know where the Father is? As sick and twisted and _evil_ as the cult is you all are pretty organized. The Father would have a plan in place in case we started pushing you all back and you began to lose. Even _if_ you don't know where he is you know how to find him."

Before Faith could repeat herself the boot from her back lifted and Tracey crouched in front of her. "So what will it be? You ready to stop lying for once and tell us what we need to know? This could all end, you know. The beatings, the starvation, the sleepless nights, they will all stop."

As much as Faith wanted the torment to end, she had her doubts she'd be left in peace. And then if the resistance did find the Father she'd either outlive her usefulness or she'd continue living like this at whatever prison she would be thrown in. She was a lot of things, but she was not naïve or gullible. Rachel was those things, but not Faith.

"Or," Tracey continued, "you can continue to feign innocence. But like I said, I'm done playing these games. So if you can't cooperate then you're nothing more but a rabid dog that needs to be put down."

A breath caught in Faith's throat. So it seemed it came down to two choices, continue to live miserable in some other prison or they'd kill her regardless if she said anything or not. Faith did want to live, it was the one gift she cherished from the Father. A will to live, a purpose. But without that…

Faith felt herself move unconsciously, she shook her head. "I don't know where he is," she confessed. She could only hope she'd be given a quick death. Tears blurred her vision, or maybe it was the steam from the showers. Either way she refused to cry in front of Tracey. Tears worked on a lot of people, but Tracey was not one of them. Not even when they were friends, they only angered her.

Tracey let out a long, loud sigh. "Still wanting to play games, Rachel?"

"Stop calling me that!" Despite the anger that momentarily filled Faith's veins, she could only muster a weak shout.

Tracey leaned her head back and let out a bitter laugh. "Still clinging on to a name that isn't yours? You _do_ know that Joseph made up this Faith woman as a substitute for his dead wife, right?"

The words stabbed Faith in the chest. "That's not true!"

Her former friend laughed again. "You think you're special? He made those other women he called Faith feel the same way."

Faith was shaking her head. "How would you know?" She didn't believe Tracey, but the words were out of her mouth before she could think about it.

Then she watched Tracey reach into her back pocket and she pulled out a folded paper. She unfolded it and slapped it on the tiled floor. Faith had to crawl a little to get a closer look and read the writing.

 _Lana. Christ in heaven what they did to you. The fact they could make you believe all that nonsense, make you forget yourself so hard. Forget your own name? How, Lana? What did he say to you? What kind of fucking dirtbag blood ritual could make you think your name was "Faith"?  
Doesn't matter how, I guess._

 _He told you you were special, but in the end he threw your body in here to disintegrate in the boiling muck, like a common Angel._

"No, no, no, no, no," Faith muttered to herself. A lump formed in her throat and a sob begged to let loose. She shouldn't believe Tracey, but the paper was beyond what she would have thought of to manipulate her. She was against her letters when she still tried to make peace with her. And this letter had been abused by the elements of nature, it was torn, crumbled and yellow with age. The handwriting was difficult to read both due to the writer's skill and the ink was nearly faded.

She was well aware of the other women that bore her name before her, but she never knew what became of them. And that's what made her afraid to disappoint the Father, she wouldn't know what would become of her. He liked her the best, said she had the most faith and devotion. And when she turned over her home and her father's lab and years of work to the cult, when she worked with Peter, a geneticist, to develop the Bliss, that was when the Father accepted her as a sister. It went beyond what he called his followers, he adopted her and took her into his own family.

 _Love is selfless. You should have been accepted and loved for who_ you _are. Not what you could do for the cult._

Aiden's words echoed in Faith's head and her vision became blurred again, this time she knew it was from tears. She shouldn't doubt the Father, he was all she had, but the fear overwhelmed her senses. Whether he killed her with his own hands, like in her dream, or if he cast her aside it was the same for her. Would he also toss her body in that cave that was used as a mass grave for Angels?

"When are you going to understand that you're not special to that psycho? You're only special in that you created the perfect drug for him to use to brainwash and control people. Without that it would be _you_ in that cave, rotting along with a bunch of other corpses. Dumped out like garbage and forgotten." Tracey said.

Her words beat at Faith more and more, her fingers curled into fists. Faith noticed the way Tracey's eyes softened before she climbed to her feet and resumed walking around her in circles.

"I know Hope County hasn't been kind to you, to _us_. I didn't understand why you stayed with that nut job," she paused to chuckle, "it was actually the rookie deputy that helped me kind of understand why. But I do gotta admit you had it all, a new family that actually 'loved' you and you had power. Anything you wanted you got it, people thought you were the next best thing since the internet, and you could finally get revenge on all those people that hurt you, your parents, our schoolmates, teachers and the cops that turned a blind eye to you."

Faith wanted to deny everything, but there was a prickling in the back of her head. What Tracey said wasn't far from the truth. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed everything that came with being part of the Father's family, even if she convinced herself to accept the violence of it.

Tracey continued to speak, but her voice changed. She sounded angry and sad at the same time with how her voice shook ever so slightly. "I found someone too, someone kind and selfless. He _was_ a good man and he made me feel like I was a part of his family too. Only I didn't have to sacrifice who I am. He accepted me for me."

Her pacing stopped and Faith looked up. She was taken back for a moment when she saw the tears falling down Tracey's cheeks. In all the years that she knew her, she never cried.

"You wanna know what happened to him?"

Dread filled Faith's gut again.

"U.S. Marshal Burk killed him before he lowered our gates. The marshal never would have killed Virgil if not for you."

Faith's ears were still sensitive to the sound of a belt being undone. It was a noise that she grew to fear growing up. Even now it still had the same effect. She looked down and saw that Tracey pulled her own belt off and gripped it tightly, tears continued to stream down her face but her eyes displayed pure fury.

Before Faith could say anything she heard the sound of leather slapping against wet skin and a cry escaped her lips. The pain was immediate and bloomed from the center of her back. She tried to crawl away or stand up but Tracey's booted foot stepped on her hand to keep her in place. Then something was wrapped around her head and over her mouth several times before Tracey tied it in the back. It was cloth meant to serve as a gag. The reasons why she would even need a gag made her heart jump into her throat.

Tracey continued to slap the belt onto her back. The thin, wet shirt Faith wore did little to protect her skin from the leather. Her screams and sobs were mostly muffled from the gag.

"You refuse to cooperate," Tracey said before she swung the belt back down for another lash. "You refuse to see how Joseph has brainwashed you, so maybe you just need to be taken down a bit to remember your roots."

The lashings were relentless, at one point Faith was so exhausted from the screaming and crying and the pain that her vision darkened. She couldn't speak, couldn't beg for the beating to stop. There were a few times where Tracey hesitated to bring the belt back down, she looked conflicted for a moment or two before she physically shook her head and continued lashing her back. Only when Faith faltered and fell onto her side did Tracey stop.

The gag made it difficult to breath. Her nose was stuffed from the sobs and she could only breathe so much with the cloth in her mouth. The pain in her ribs was an afterthought and overwhelmed by the pain from her back. She didn't think the belt cut any skin, her shirt didn't feel torn, but she wasn't able to look to make sure.

Tracey took her time in putting her belt back on. Then she bent over Faith to remove the gag. "Get up and wash yourself." She retreated to the door and leaned against the wall. It was difficult to read her face, the tears and anger in her eyes were gone, she didn't look smug or satisfied. Her gaze was on the floor and eventually her eyes developed a faraway look like if she was deep in thought.

Faith didn't want to trigger her anger so she did her best to climb to her feet. Her back was a huge, hot and throbbing pain. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying out again and headed for one of the showerheads. The hot water didn't bite at her arm when she turned the knob to lower the temperature. She had hoped that cold water on her back would sizzle the heat from her skin but it only made the pain worse.

When she peeled off her shirt there were no tears and no blood. She didn't have the strength to stand for long so she washed herself quickly.

"Shut them all off," Tracey ordered her after she turned off her own showerhead.

The room was still full of steam so it made drying herself with a towel difficult, her skin still felt clammy. She decided against putting on a bra, she didn't think she could handle the strap pressing against her raw back. Thankfully she had a baggy sweatshirt to wear, anything tight would've aggravated her skin as well.

Tracey acted like nothing happened between them, she remained silent and led her back to the laundry room to put her clothes in the drier. She wouldn't let her wash her wet clothes, she ordered her to just toss them in the drier as well. Faith was only allowed ten minutes for her clothes to dry, they still felt a bit damp.

Those ten minutes were horrible though, Faith was in such an exhausted and pained state of mind she was absolutely numb. No thoughts or feelings of fear or doubt plagued her, it was as if Tracey beat everything out of her. Then again this wasn't new, she always felt this way when it was her father that was the one swinging the belt. All she could focus on was walking back to her cell.

"Don't think I haven't forgotten what you needed after your quality time with your parents. You're damn lucky I've been generous in that department. We all know you don't deserve it," Tracey whispered to her as Faith walked back into her cage.

Faith immediately knew what Tracey was implying, and the thought of it was what motivated her to keep moving. She dropped her box next to her cot, there was no way she would be able to bend. It never crossed her mind to check for the far cell where Aiden and the sheriff were in, she immediately limped towards the sink and pulled the taped syringe free. With practiced fingers, she stabbed the needle into her arm and injected whatever was inside it, she didn't care so long as it did something to ease her numbness. Her eyes drifted to the tattoo on her arm and she burst into tears.

 _You lost faith, and as a result you've lost sight of yourself._

The Father never truly spoke those words to her, but hearing his voice say those words to her, albeit in a dream, didn't make it any less painful. She groped behind the sink hoping there was another syringe, but her heart fell when she felt nothing but the smooth metal. She held onto the edge of the sink and used her foot to feel behind the toilet but there was nothing behind it either.

Defeated, she taped the empty syringe behind the sink before she limped back to her cot. She wasn't sure how much time passed, but whatever drug she injected alleviated the pain of her body drastically, it felt akin to pleasure. A heaviness settled in her limbs and she just wanted to sleep. She roused when Aiden walked into her cell and set a plate of sandwiches on the bed next to her.

"What happened?" He asked her.

His concern would have normally made her feel touched, but she still felt numb. With his kindness and concern for her she came to build a sense of trust in him, being near him made her feel comfortable. She nearly confessed everything to him then, but she caught herself before she could utter a word and shook her head.

She had no idea how she looked, her eyes still hurt from crying and Aiden no doubt noticed. So she quickly came up with an excuse of why she would be crying. "I just…I miss my family."

Disappointment reflected on Aiden's face. He sighed and told her to eat before he left the cell.

Her body moved on its own and she picked up a sandwich and took as many bites as she could manage. Memories of the previous day reminded her to hold herself back so she decided to only eat the one sandwich.

She was knocked out of her stupor when she noticed Aiden's arm reach for her. A gasp escaped her and she tried to create as much distance between them as possible. Her raw back hit the wall and she was nearly blinded by the pain, she didn't want to alarm Aiden or make him suspicious so she bit her lip to keep herself from crying out.

Aiden watched her with a calculating look, but thankfully he didn't press the issue. They discussed the food and soon he was offering her another deal. She almost dismissed his offer until he promised to let her go. The thought of finally getting out stirred something inside of her, she no longer felt numb. But she immediately had her doubts, there was no way even Aiden would be willing to just let her go. She may have developed some trust in him, but she didn't trust him enough to fully believe he would give her the freedom she wanted so much.

He was desperate, apparently. He explained the complications that could come with time once more people found out about his conditioning. Her own life would be at stake with those complications and that was all that was needed to convince her to help him reverse the conditioning Jacob did. There was still that small flicker of hope that Aiden would keep to his word, he's been honest with her so far. She accepted his offer and shook his hand.

"When do we start?" He asked.

She finished her sandwich and wiped away the crumbs from her fingers. "Now." The sooner they got started the sooner she could hopefully leave. And in his presence Tracey and Jess wouldn't dare to continue their torment on her.

"Here?"

Faith nodded. "Where else would we go? This will…take time. We won't be triggering your conditioning outright if that's what you're worried about."

Aiden looked down and rubbed his chest. "Okay, so what do we do?"

* * *

"I need to know more details. What triggers the conditioning and what do you do?" Faith asked.

A deep sigh escaped the junior deputy. He had been hoping Faith wouldn't need too many details, he didn't want her to take advantage. But surely she wouldn't have that chance if he always made sure they remained in the same room. She wouldn't put herself in danger. Plus he was probably overthinking things, he didn't even know how this was even reversable.

"It's a song that triggers it," he admitted.

"What song?"

Aiden frowned and studied her face. Her eyes displayed nothing more but curiosity. "Does it matter what song?" He didn't mean to sound so defensive.

Faith shrugged and he noticed the way she promptly winced. Something didn't sit right with him, he didn't buy her reason for her looking so downright depressed. "Right now I guess it doesn't matter. But eventually you will have to…hear it. What happens when you hear the song?"

Another deep breath. Just talking about it made Aiden feel anxious. "I hallucinate." One of Faith's eyebrows lifted in question. Aiden responded with a shrug. "It doesn't matter where I am, I hallucinate that I'm in this room with a weapon. If I don't try to escape then Peggies will come in and shoot me dead. But…it's different than the Bliss. With the Bliss I _know_ that I'm hallucinating. But when I hear that song, all that registers in my mind is that I need to shoot my way out, and I'm just so very angry. I have no remorse, no hesitation to kill anyone that gets in my way. As I shoot my way out I hear Jacob complimenting me every time I kill someone. I don't know how long it lasts, only when it wears off there's always dead people around me."

When he finished he studied Faith's reaction. She was quiet, but there was the unmistakable look of pity in her eyes. She gave such a subtle nod it suddenly reminded him back when he nearly killed her at the river and he pulled away from her reach.

"When you hear the song, is it instant that you begin to hallucinate?"

Aiden shook his head. "No, there's a small window before I lose all sense of awareness. I want to say maybe four or five seconds?"

"You say that you are in a room. Does the room slowly form in your surroundings or is it like the Bliss where your vision clouds and then changes?"

It was an oddly specific description of the Bliss, Aiden thought. Then he remembered when he doused Faith with Bliss when he escaped his captivity, so even she had experienced the hallucinogen herself.

"My vision dims like when you're about to faint. Then it feels like I black out and I 'wake up' in that room."

The younger woman nodded. "My next question may seem like I'm changing the subject, but it does contribute to reversing the conditioning. But, what are the things that you do to relax?"

The question was definitely not what he expected and it was something he had to think on.

"Some people do some sort of meditation, like praying." Faith explained. "I knew a woman that was prone to panic attacks. To relax she would time deep breaths or sip water after a certain amount of seconds."

Aiden tapped his chin in thought. "Relaxation," he muttered to himself. He desperately thought over everything he'd do to relax whenever he became stressed. There were a wide variety of things that he'd do, sometimes he would pace, other times he would eat something sweet. Even though he did his best to avoid following in his father's footsteps with drinking, he was guilty of having a drink or two to help relax.

"Obviously it needs to be something where you aren't relying on something physical, like food or drink," Faith chimed in.

Then it hit him. There was one thing that deeply relaxed him. He almost couldn't even remember the last time he indulged in the hobby, he guessed it was when he was helping out with Fall's End. For whatever reason admitting it to Faith heated his cheeks and he kept his gaze down towards the ground.

"Well," he dragged on the word and rubbed the back of his head, "I _may_ , you know, play the guitar and…um," he lowered his voice to a near whisper, "sing."

He expected Faith to have the same reaction as everyone else seemed to have. Most people were unbelieving and teased him a bit. Instead, she continued to watch him with her sad eyes.

"The guitar part won't help, but the singing will."

Aiden nearly scoffed. "How? Am I going to sing the conditioning away?"

It was almost easy to miss, but the corner of Faith's mouth curved upwards for a moment. After seeing her look so miserable and practically lifeless it was a nice change to see her smile a little. He found himself liking her real smile.

"What?" Faith's eyes were wide.

A curse escaped Aiden. He hadn't realized he voiced his thoughts aloud. "What do you mean by a real smile?" She didn't sound offended, mostly curious.

Aiden was the one to open this bag of worms so he had nothing to lose by simply being honest. "A genuine smile. Not the one you wear when you're playing _sweet, innocent Faith_."

Faith looked to fall into her thoughts and looked away from him. A silent moment passed and he nearly grinned when he noticed the slight flush of her cheeks. Surely she had to be used to compliments. Nearly every man or woman that preferred the company of females seemed to have a crush on Faith in Hope County, even members of the resistance.

He cleared his throat which brought Faith back to their original topic. "So you were saying about me…err…having to sing away my conditioning?"

The woman nodded. "Sort of. To reverse your conditioning you will have to reduce the intensity of your conditioned response."

"Could you repeat that in English?"

One corner of her mouth twitched. "Think of it as doing something to relax yourself when you hear that song. You're creating another response when you're triggered."

"I see, I see," Aiden grinned. "So instead of going on a murderous rampage I'll be singing and destroying everyone's ears within hearing distance."

Faith gave a long blink and she swayed a bit. The bruising on her face made it difficult to notice the dark bags under her eyes. Aiden just about kicked himself for only noticing this now.

She opened her eyes and spoke with a very soft, tired voice. "I don't know about the destroying ears part. Surely you aren't that bad?"

"Oh, you'll change your tune once you hear me sing."

"So sing now."

Aiden blinked. "What?"

"If you want to reverse Jacob's conditioning, you may as well get over your shyness of singing in front of others." She rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. "So sing to me."

Aiden felt his face heat up again. But she had a point. He could hear the song at any moment so he may as well get used to singing on command. He quickly thought over what song to attempt and with Faith's command and how she looked so exhausted an idea of a song popped into his mind. With the heat of his cheeks spreading to his ears and down to his neck, he took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

He chose to sing _Sing Me to Sleep_. The beginning was the most embarrassing, he hadn't sung in so long and then he hadn't warmed up, so his voice cracked once or twice. Throughout the song Faith watched him with her full attention, she never laughed, rolled her eyes, or done anything else to mock his singing. After the first verse he struggled to remember the lyrics and Faith surprised him when she sang along with him.

His surprise was initially that she even knew the song and then his surprise grew as he heard her singing voice. She sang beautifully, even more so without instruments. There were two lines she struggled to sing, it was like she tried to keep herself from crying, but they both continued until they sang the entire song.

They sat watching each other, Aiden didn't know how to break the silence. "You—err, like Alan Walker?"

Faith's mouth curved upwards a little again. "I do. It's…been some time since I heard that song. I'm surprised I remember the lyrics."

Aiden smiled. "Well it is a good song. And very relatable at the moment. You look exhausted. Why don't we stop here and you get some rest."

Faith had her eyes closed while he spoke, but after he suggested she get some sleep her eyes opened and he could just make out the fear within her blue eyes. Bags under her eyes, fear when he expressed leaving, it didn't take much for him to deduce something was being done to her during the evenings. Evenings that he was locked away in isolation and blind to whatever was being done.

He swallowed the anger that welled up in his chest. Soon pity replaced his anger and then an idea formed. "Say, I got nothing to do. How about you get some rest and I'll just sit on my bed over there," he pointed to the cot on the other end of Faiths' cell, "and I'll practice more of my singing. So far you're the best audience I've ever had."

The look on Faith's face reminded him of a child being told they could sleep in a tent in the backyard. Or at least that's how he imaged how his own face would look whenever his mother gave him the okay to camp out in the backyard. He sighed as he thought over how Hope County ruined his joy of camping.

He expected Faith to lay on the bed but she surprised him by staying up right. Her head tilted down until her chin touched her chest. He knew from experience that sleeping like that would ruin her neck by morning.

The junior deputy didn't want to spook the woman so he started singing another song, a nice slow one. Faith was so exhausted she didn't stir when he placed one hand on the side of her face and the other on her shoulder and gently eased her onto the mattress. She gave a weak, pained moan and her eyes scrunched up, but she remained asleep.

For the rest of the day he would remain in the cell and see if anyone tried to pay her a visit. Tomorrow, he'd find out what his friends were doing to Faith behind his back.

* * *

A/N: Woohoo for these rare weekly updates. I started writing a little of this chapter yesterday night, took a break for sleep sleep, and then today once I got typing it became a matter of "can't stop, won't stop." So for just about everything in this story I do the research to be sure I'm as realistic and accurate as possible. It took me a good two weeks to do medical research about the whole bullet wound, treatment and effects of infection when I started the story. With that said, I have done the research about reversing the classical conditioning Jacob did to the junior deputy and it is possible, it's actually called counterconditioning. Thought I mention this as there were some that were curious if this was possible. So it is!

For the sake of trying to be on the realistic side of things, as most of you have probably noticed I've removed a lot of the fantasy elements when it comes to the Bliss. So in this story Faith's ability to control people with her magic blue butterflies doesn't exist (I try to write it more as a way of hypnotizing people). And she cannot communicate through the Bliss telepathically. So this means that the scene where you see Faith walking with the sheriff and singing _Amazing Grace_ does not happen in the story, hence why Aiden was impressed by her singing.


	20. Sincerity

Ambivalence

Chapter 20: Sincerity

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

It took the better part of the morning, but Tracey eventually found some time to herself. It felt strange to her at first to have a quiet moment. There were always a multitude of things to do, supplies to catalogue, injured people to treat, defend against Peggie attacks, and the list went on. But now that over half of their people spread out from the jail things have drastically calmed.

Not wanting to lose out on this opportunity, Tracey climbed to the roof of the jail with a few ice cold beers. She was midway through her second bottle when she felt the alcohol hit her. Before the Peggies, when she drank _a lot_ more, it took at least eight to ten beers for her to feel anything. But then after the mess with the cult she hadn't really touched a drop of alcohol, which would explain why she became such a lightweight now.

Once the second bottle laid empty at her feet, her thoughts began to drift back to Rachel. Her last "talk" with her former friend left a sour taste in her mouth. Sure it still bugged her to all of hell that Rachel refused to cooperate and talk about the Father's location, but at the same time she wasn't surprised she didn't spill any information. The main reason why she beat her was to hopefully bring back unpleasant memories she had with her family and hopefully get her to relapse with her former drug addiction.

Ironic thing was, while Tracey had been hurting Rachel, it only brought back bad memories for herself. Or at least, it brought back one memory in particular. It was the first time that Rachel invited her to her house. At first she was in awe when she laid eyes on the compound, she had never personally seen a greenhouse, so many orchids growing outside, and having grown up in a small home, Rachel's house itself was practically a mansion to her.

Her parents weren't home, and it was the first time that she got Rachel to drink, they snuck out some vintage bottle of wine from her parents supply. They were halfway through the bottle, being young and inexperienced with alcohol they got smashed pretty quickly.

Things had been fun and giggles until Rachel's parents arrived unexpectedly. Not allowed to have friends over without permission, Tracey had to hide in a closet. It didn't take Rachel's father long to barge into her room, he had been furious that she had been tinkering with some of the flowers he had been experimenting with.

Tracey laughed at that thought. She wondered if that had been the beginning of her work with the Bliss.

To make matters worse, even though they hid the wine bottle, Rachel's father was quick to notice her drunken swaying. In all honesty, back then Tracey had been doubtful that Rachel really had been abused by her parents, that belief was made even stronger when she saw her family's property. What sort of rich folk beat on their child? Negligence she could understand. But that was her belief back then until she witnessed the brutality a father could have on his own flesh and blood.

The anger Rachel's father had was quite daunting. Tracey never experienced anger with her parents, only their uncaring attitude towards her. Even the teachers she pissed off never touched the level of fury Rachel's old man had. She had been terrified that he would sense her presence lurking in the closet.

Then Tracey's anger turned into hatred when she watched him backhand Rachel so hard she fell onto the floor. Then he removed his belt and started hitting her with it. It had been so hard to sit in the closet and watch, part of her wanted to jump out and attack the man, but she was also afraid. What could a teenaged girl do against a grown man? Despite being a doctor, he was tall and decently built to easily overpower her.

There was also a moment where Rachel looked towards the closet with large terrified eyes and she shook her head ever so slightly. It was like she knew that Tracey would want to do something. So she was helpless to do anything but watch as her friend cried and begged her own father to stop. Even though it got to the point where she shut her eyes and covered her ears, she could still hear her sobs and the constant sound of leather slapping against flesh.

It had been extremely awkward after her father finally left. Tracey had never been one to be comforting or consoling. There was nothing she could really say to Rachel, like a coward she just snuck out of the window and left.

That had been the first and last time Tracey ever visited.

But every so often, ever since then, the look of terror and pain in Rachel's eyes had haunted her. Worse, in the shower room Rachel looked at her with those same fear filled eyes.

Tracey downed the rest of her third beer and tossed it. As the glass bottle steadily rolled away from her she pulled out a cigarette and lit it. After she took a long drag, she finally admitted to herself that she felt disgusted with herself, strange as the thought was. For everything that Rachel did as Faith, Tracey thought she wouldn't feel bad for beating her just like how her father used to, but she couldn't stop feeling like shit.

She dug into her pocket and pulled out a Cougar pin, specifically Virgil's pin. It was still crusted with his dried blood, but she couldn't bring herself to wash it. The longer she held it, looked at it, the more anger filled her veins and washed away her guilt.

"Nice view you got up here."

Tracey nearly jumped out of her skin. She had been so withdrawn in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Jess joined her.

"Jesus, Jess!" Tracey leaned forward to pick up her dropped cigarette, which had fallen out of her grasp when she jumped. "I swear I gotta put a bell or something on you."

The other hooded woman grinned and sat down next her before she helped herself to one of Tracey's beers.

"I had been lookin' all over for ya," she said before popping the cap off and took a swig.

Tracey groaned. "I take it your talk with Aiden didn't go well?"

Jess shrugged before she took another gulp. "Not that it didn't go well, but he has a plan now to use the flower bitch."

That got Tracey's attention. She adjusted herself so she was fully facing Jess. "Okay, so spill."

Jess explained Aiden's plan of an offer for Rachel's freedom in return for personal information. She was vague about what that information was, but Tracey already heard the rumors that the rookie deputy was brainwashed in some way. It wasn't difficult to put the two and two together.

"She's lying," Tracey interrupted.

The other woman nodded. "That's what I told him too. But even if she is, he has no intention of just letting her go and not following her."

After she heard the rest of the plan, Tracey leaned back until she could look at the sky. "Well that's something, at least. But I still say we should follow _our_ plan. Who knows how long Aiden will keep her here. And I think you're right about Rachel possibly manipulating his brainwashing so he becomes her puppet. He'd just be an Angel but without the Bliss."

Jess chugged the remainder of her beer and tossed the bottle. A few seconds passed before the faint smash of glass could be heard. Tracey winced and hoped that bottle didn't hit anyone. "Try not to hurt anyone, Jess. Save the glass throwing for the Peggies."

The other hooded woman scoffed. "Yeah, about our plan," Jess muttered as she grabbed the final beer. Tracey didn't mind that she took it. She was already woozy from what she drank. "I don't think he knows the details of what we're doing to the flower bitch, but he knows enough. He hasn't left her cell."

Tracey cursed. "That definitely puts a dent into our plans." She quickly fell deep in thought. "I take it you weren't able to replace the syringe in her cell?"

"Nope," Jess popped her bottle open and took a long drink. "If he plans to stay with her in the evenings there's a good chance he may just move her into the cell he's staying in."

"About that," Tracey interjected. "Why did he want to move in an isolation cell? Does it have something to do with that brainwashing?"

"Yeah. He's afraid to get triggered in a dream, it's never happened before until recently."

Tracey quickly thought over a way to improvise on their plan to plant Rachel with more drugs until she relapsed. "So we may not be able to pay her our late night visits, but he can't stay with her all day."

"And he may be keeping an eye on me and the others, but I don't think he knows you're in on it." Jess suggested.

"Then we can keep stashing drugs in her cell, and we'll add more. The faster we get her to relapse the sooner we can cut her off and force her to tell us what we know." Tracey paused before she asked, "will you still be able to access more drugs?"

Jess grinned. "Hey, I sold drugs before the cult showed up. I still have my connections, and my own stashes."

"All right." Tracey stood and dusted off the back of her jeans. "You're better at tracking people, keep an eye on Aiden and see if he picks up a certain routine. I'll talk to Charles and Earl and see if they can start keeping Aiden busy."

Jess stood as well, she quickly drained the remainder of her bottle and tossed it again. After a short moment of silence they both heard the unmistakable sound of glass shattering followed by someone shouting and cursing.

"Damn it, Jess!" Tracey turned but Jess had already vanished.

* * *

Aiden didn't know what to do. He hated to feel like he couldn't trust his friends. He felt like Adelaide and Nick wouldn't have anything to do with tormenting Faith, they both spent more time outside of the jail. Hurk knew not to trust Faith, but he still had a huge crush on her, it was safe to assume he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. If Sharky wanted to torment Faith he would've used fire, but then again Aiden hadn't really been able to see the extent of her injuries other than the ones he inflected himself. He was unsure what to think about Grace, he felt it was possible she would work with Jess.

Should he question them one by one? Was the sheriff in on it as well? He seemed unconcerned when he brought up the weight Faith had lost. As old as the jail was it did have security camera's, but they had been fried when Burke shot up their controls. No one had the means to repair them, it wasn't a priority to get them back online.

Thinking about it all gave Aiden a headache. His best bet was to just move Faith elsewhere. With the plan to have the Cougars spread out from the jail the general area would be safe to travel. He just had to find a new place to take Faith, the previous bunker he used was already known by Tracey. The problem with seeking out another bunker would be that he'd leave Faith at Jess' mercy. Unless he sent her out scouting.

Now that Aiden had some sort of plan he felt the pressure behind his eyes ease up and the heaviness of sleep began to sink in. It felt like he only kept his eyes closed for a few minutes before he heard Faith whimper. She was still asleep, but between whimpers he heard her mutter incoherently.

Despite the jail still being awake with activity, he didn't want to risk Faith bringing attention to herself. Not after the attention he brought to himself with his own dream that triggered his conditioning.

It was a struggle to climb out of the small cot with his body still healing from its many aches and bruises, and the burns ignited with a fury. The closer he got to Faith the louder her mumbling and whimpers. He didn't know if her recent treatment was what caused the nightmare, or if it was her own demons, but he still couldn't help the pang of guilt that hung heavy in his chest.

"Faith," he whispered while he gently nudged her shoulder.

It didn't take much to wake her. He felt her body jolt, her eyes opened wide and her whimpers quickly ceased and were replaced with a gasp.

"It's just me," Aiden assured her. Crouching was too painful for his sore body to maintain so he plopped himself onto the cold hard floor. "You were having a bad dream."

The younger woman groaned as she rubbed her eyes. "Aiden?" Her voice was thick and raspy. She looked like she wanted to sit up, but moving caused her to wince so she remained where she was.

"Yeah, just me," he reassured. He looked over her, but it was impossible to determine what type of hurts she was enduring with her clothes in the way. After a moment he realized what he just thought of and immediately felt his face heat up.

Faith blinked a few times before she glanced at him and fear flashed in her eyes. "Is—is something wrong?"

Aiden breathed in relief, she probably assumed his red face meant he was angry. He shook his head. "Nothing is wrong. Well," he scratched the back of his head, "thought I wake you up from that nightmare."

"Thank you," she smiled weakly. Each time she blinked she kept her eyelids closed longer and longer. She was already falling asleep again.

The junior deputy meant to leave her to rest and return to his cot, but as cold as the floor felt he got an idea and slowly sprawled himself onto the surface. The coolness of the floor eased his burns a bit and soon he felt himself dozing off. He dreamt about wolves and speakers.

He was quick to jolt awake, his heart pounded loudly in his ears and he grew worried his vision would become red tinted. He hadn't realized he was gasping until Faith stirred.

She groaned, bit her lip and forced herself into a sitting position, all while a hiss still escaped her. Then she looked at him with a concerned expression. "What's wrong?"

Aiden didn't respond right away. He scrambled to remember if he dreamt about _that_ song, but the melody and lyrics didn't ring in his ears.

"Hey," Faith called him, her expression became serious. "Breath, relax." She reached forward and took his arm, despite the pain it looked to have caused her, and then she placed his palm on her chest, right over her heart. "Time your breaths with my heartbeat."

Aiden focused on the feel of her heartbeat. The first thing to register in his head was the warmth of her body and the softness of her hands. Then he realized he could feel the swell of her breast, heat returned to his face and spread to his ears and neck. He couldn't think why being this close to her was causing him to act like an inexperienced teenaged boy, so he quickly focused on the slight thump of her heartbeat. Then he was following her command and timed his breaths.

"There. Better?"

The older male glanced up and took in Faith's gentle smile. It was her real smile, not the one she wore as _sweet, innocent Faith_. His blush still hadn't settled, but he felt better now that he was over his panic attack. Of all people he hadn't expected Faith to help him in this way. Then the more sinister part of his brain argued that of course she would try to calm him down, if he lost it she would be in danger.

He pulled his hand away from her and returned the smile. "Much. Thank you."

At a loss of what to say, they both sat in a comfortable silence. He noticed the way she rubbed the shoulder she was sleeping on and tried moving it in a circle, but any type of movement looked to pain her.

"My turn to ask if you're okay."

She looked back at him with haze filled eyes. Her mouth opened, but after a moment she closed it and nodded.

Aiden sighed. "Listen Faith," he paused and glanced out of the cell. There didn't seem to be anyone in the nearby cells. "I know someone did something to you. I understand you don't want to 'rat them out,' but I'm still responsible for your well-being. You don't have to say anything, but I'd appreciate if you let me look over your injuries. We already know what can happen if they're not properly treated."

Her face fell and she looked out of the cell as well. When she looked back at him he could see the apprehension on her face. "It's nothing."

Aiden tilted his head to the side. "Then why don't we go for a walk? Sitting in one place for too long isn't good. We may not be able to go outside, but a walk around this floor will be safe."

The fear grew in her eyes and she shook her head. "I'm…a bit tired. Maybe later?" She glanced at the window. Night had already fallen. "Tomorrow?"

"Okay," Aiden replied. "Get some rest. And thank you, again." He climbed to his feet. His legs felt a little wobbly, a remnant from his panic attack, and he headed for the cell door.

"You're leaving?" Faith's voice cracked.

"Yeah, I could use a little walk. And I think it'd be better if I sleep in my new cell. In case I have another one of those dreams."

The Bliss herald looked like she wanted to say something again. In all honesty Aiden was trying to bait her. It seemed like she still needed a nudge. "You sure you don't want to join me in the walk?"

After another moment of hesitation, Faith finally nodded. "Okay."

Aiden kept note of every moment the younger woman did. She moved stiffly, at first he thought it had to do with her leg, but she looked able to walk with only a slight limp. When she tried to reach for a hoodie without bending he knew it wasn't just her leg that was bothering her. Once she zipped up the jacket and pulled up the hoodie she stepped up next to him.

The door wasn't locked, Aiden found no need to do so if he was in the cell with her. They walked in silence in a slow pace. Even if Faith was able to walk better on her bad leg he didn't want her to push her injury too much.

Surprisingly, Faith was the one to break the silence first. "Where are you sleeping now?"

"I moved into one of the isolation cells. It may make you feel like you're in a huge tin can. There's no window, you're completely cut off from the outside. However, it's nice and quiet. No one can hear me if I have one of _those_ dreams."

The third floor wasn't very large, all too soon they reached the hallway that led to the rest of the building. Aiden was about to suggest they circle back until he noticed the way Faith swayed. Even though they walked so he was closest to the catwalk railing, he grabbed her arm to steady her. Her face looked considerably much more pale than normal.

"You okay?" He knew it was pointless to ask her, but it was more of a habit.

As he predicted, she nodded. "Just a little tired."

"No problem, we can cut our walk short." They turned to head back to her cell. After a few steps if Aiden hadn't been holding her arm she would have stumbled into him. "Let's take it easy. If you need to lean on me it's okay." He moved his hand towards her back to help lead her which promptly caused her to suck in a sharp breath.

He frowned. "This is enough, Faith," he told her sternly. "You are clearly _not_ okay. Let's get you back in bed and I'm calling over the doctor to—"

"—No doctor, I'm fine, Aiden." She pleaded.

Aiden was about to argue but paused upon seeing her drift her attention away from him and her eyes widened in fear. He followed her gaze and watched Sharky and Jess walking on the other side of the catwalk, they both glanced at the odd pair and only Sharky waved at them. Aiden waved back, but both continued heading into their own respective cells. Even from a distance, Jess glared at Faith.

When the junior deputy returned his attention to the Bliss herald he realized she had inched closer to him. He changed his mind about returning Faith to her cell. With Jess nearby it was a guarantee she would refuse to let the doctor look over her injuries.

He lowered his voice when he spoke to her. "Why don't we go to my cell? Its closer and we'll have privacy."

Faith didn't look at him, she kept her attention in Jess' direction, but she did hear him and nodded.

The longer they walked, the more prominent Faith's limp became. She still appeared to have difficulties walking straight so he made sure to lead her by the arm instead of touching her back. He led her into his cell and then towards his cot. Unlike the other cells, isolation only had the one cot. Despite the lack of a window, the cell was deathly cold.

Just bending to sit on the bed was hurtful for Faith. She did her best to keep herself silent, but she couldn't suppress a few groans.

"I'll be right back," Aiden told her. He grabbed his folded blanket from the foot of the bed and handed it to her.

"No doctor, please." She pleaded.

"Damnit, Faith," Aiden rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Whatever is hurting you I'm having the doctor check it to make sure you don't get sick again."

She was silent until he was about to open the door. "When I say it's fine, I mean that it isn't something I haven't already dealt with."

Aiden paused and turned back around to face her. She kept her head dipped low. He sighed and stepped next to the cot. "All right, if you don't want to see the doctor then will you at least let me check your injuries?"

Faith looked up at him then, her face in a frown.

"I mean, I can have someone like Grace or Adelaide check. I'll be here, but I'll have my back turned. Or I can wait outside."

The younger woman shook her head and sighed. "You won't let this go, will you?"

Aiden shook his head. "I may have failed in ensuring your safety while you've been here. But I'm not letting you get sick when I can help it."

Faith's eyes softened and she looked confused for a moment. "After everything I've done to you, you still want to do this? You can easily just leave me to-you can just lock me up and never look back."

"You had your reasons for doing what you did. You will do your time, hopefully learn from it and atone. However, that doesn't mean you have to live in inhumane conditions. Not saying you can live comfortably like the royalty treatment you're probably used to, but if you're hurt you need to have those injuries looked at so you can heal properly."

Faith looked to ponder what he said for a long, silent moment. Finally she relented with a sigh. "Okay. No doctor nor anyone else. Just you."

Aiden rose an eyebrow. He grabbed his own first aid kit that he left on his sink. "First lets take a look at your leg." He realized that Faith was wearing pants. He was so used to seeing her in her white dress he was surprised he only realized now she was clad in sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. "You'll…uh, have to remove your pants."

His face heated when Faith glared at him. He turned his back to her. "You can use the blanket to cover what you don't want me to see. But leave your injured leg exposed."

The cell was so silent he could hear the fabric of her pants rustle as she removed them. "You can turn around now."

Aiden set the first aid kit on the bed before he started on removing her bandage. Memories of the last time he treated her leg in a lone cabin flashed through his head and he begun to feel worried as he removed the gauze. Thankfully the material didn't stick to the wound.

While the junior deputy had little knowledge of medicine, he knew enough that with how old Faith's bullet wound was it should have already begun to heal. Instead the bullet wound was still the same size he remembered when he first treated the wound when it was fresh. It wasn't bleeding now, but the gauze was blood stained.

Something wasn't right. Her wound definitely should have begun to heal. He was no stranger to bullet wounds, like Faith he also suffered a bullet to his thigh during his time in the Whitetail Mountains, and after a week the wound shrunk as it healed.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked her as he sprayed a disinfectant on her leg.

Her leg trembled and she hissed in response. "Only if I put my weight on it for too long."

"I'll double check with the doctor if it's safe for you to go on those walks while it's healing."

"Walks?"

Aiden hummed as he wrapped the new bandage. "It's important to give you time to walk about. It's unhealthy to be sitting all the time. Not to mention it'll help you from getting stir crazy."

"You seem to know a lot about how to treat prisoners," Faith commented.

"That's because I worked at a prison before I was hired as a deputy sheriff."

Faith was silent for a moment. "That explains a lot." Aiden wasn't sure if he imagined the disappointment that was etched in her voice.

"Well, that's done." He didn't have a trashcan to throw away the used bandages so he tossed them in the sink for the time being.

"You can put your pants back on," he told her and turned his back towards her again. "Wow, I don't say that to women like ever. Except that one time when my roommate returned a bit earlier than I thought," he muttered to himself.

Faith had heard him apparently due to her chuckle. It was then that Aiden realized Faith, like her smile, had a real chuckle that differed from her _sweet, innocent Faith_ chuckle. He began to wonder how much different Faith was when she wasn't wearing her mask to appease Joseph Seed.

"You decent?"

"Yes."

Aiden returned to his first aid kit. "I know you don't want to give me any details and that's fine," he looked at her. "Can you at least let me know what else is hurting you?"

She hesitated again. After a moment she gave a barely noticeable nod. Then she moved her arm and rested it against her ribs. "Here," she whispered before she turned her head as if looking at something behind her. "And my back."

Regardless of not even knowing the extent or cause of her injuries, Aiden felt anger warm his face. "I've had a few broken ribs back when I played football in high school. Do you mind if you lift your shirt enough just so I can see your ribs?"

The Bliss herald didn't respond, she simply grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it to expose her abdomen. Her skin was a mess of colors, purple, blue and yellow. He swallowed his anger again and tried to focus on the task at hand. He paused right before he placed his hand on her skin.

"The medic did this to me to determine how bad my ribs were broken, it will hurt but only for a few moments, okay?" He told her.

Once she gave her okay with a nod Aiden pressed her on the bruised skin gently. She didn't stiffen upon contact with his fingers on her skin, which he had expected. Not too long ago she always stiffened any time he so much as approached her. Nonetheless, none of the bones seemed to be out of place, but he did notice there was a bit of swelling. How was she able to sleep like this? "I know it hurts, but can you take a few deep breaths for me?" He didn't have a stethoscope to hear her breathing like what the medic did with him, but he did keep an eye on her ribs as she inhaled and exhaled.

The junior deputy rummaged in the first aid kit, he was positive he saw a cream for bruising. "Sadly there isn't much that can be done for your ribs, they'll heal on their own. I can get some ice for you to help with the swelling."

"I know," she replied softly, "like I said, it's something I've dealt with before."

Jackpot, Aiden found the cream and held it up. It was a brand new tube as well. Then he realized what Faith had said. He immediately understood her insinuation, he recalled her story about the abuse she endured from her family. "I'm sorry," he told her.

He was still rubbing the cream on her skin when he saw her stomach contract. "Why apologize? It's not like _you_ did this to me."

Aiden shrugged. "Sometimes it's all that can be said. I'd feel awkward if I said nothing at all." He patted her arms to let her know she could lower her shirt when he was done. "Now for your back. Would it be easier for you to lift your shirt to show me or did you want to remove it completely?"

As little as he knew Faith he already recognized her facial expression when she wanted to avoid something, she frowned and kept her gaze on the floor.

"We've gone this far, may as well let me take a look. Plus I think I saw a little blood on the back of your shirt."

She relented with a nod and asked him to turn around. He felt his anxiety grow as he heard the struggle she had with merely removing her shirt. His imagination ran over numerous possibilities that was done to her to cause such distress.

"Okay," she eventually told him.

Faith remained sitting on the cot, she held her shirt bundled to cover her front. And damnit, Aiden felt like a hormonal teenager again when his eyes immediately focused on the exposed side of her breast that the shirt failed to cover. He shook his head and moved his gaze to her back. With all of the injuries he imagined earlier, he hadn't expected to see her back marred with welts and bruises.

"Holy hell," he muttered. There were a few welts towards the bottom of her back that looked like the skin split open. Again, how was she able to sleep like this? No wonder she originally fell asleep sitting up. Anger quickly overpowered his shock. " _Who_ did this to you?"

Faith closed her eyes and shook her head. "You said I didn't have to say anything."

She was right, he did promise her that. He took a moment to take a deep breath to calm himself. "You're right, sorry. I just…okay." He pulled the first aid kit closer. The cream went on most of the bruises and welts, but the ones that were open he dabbed at them with cotton balls soaked with disinfectant before he taped gauze on them.

Even though Faith remained mostly silent other than a hiss or two escaping every now and then when he rubbed the cream on a little too hard, he knew she was really hurting when her entire body shook. It took all of his self-control to keep his feet planted where they were, he itched to march over and gather all of his friends and demanded to know who would do this to a harmless _person_. Regardless of the things she did herself, and for whatever her reasons, showing the same brutality was sinking down to her level.

 _Your friends endured the cults brutality far longer than you, can you really blame them?_

There was that sinister voice in Aiden's head again. Well maybe sinister wasn't the best term for it, it was the side of his brain that always had to make sense whenever his emotions got the better of him.

 _Stop making sense_ , Aiden told himself. He took a final deep breath and patted Faith's shoulder before he returned his back to her.

"It…it hurts to lift my arms," Faith told him meekly. "Could you help?"

Aiden turned and found Faith standing with her back to him, her shirt bunched around her shoulders. He stepped right behind her and reached over to help her pull the shirt so she could stick her head in and then over her shoulders. As he helped pull the shirt downward his hand brushed against her breasts.

"Sorry!" He quickly took a step back and fought against the burning that spread through his face and down into his neck.

Instead of taking offense, Faith sat on the bed gingerly and chuckled. "It's…nice that you're such a gentleman. The male officers I've dealt with were all too eager to cop a feel."

"You've been arrested before?" He asked.

"Not exactly," Faith replied while she tried to get comfortable on the cot. She yawned before she continued. "It was common for the high school kids to get together and drink in the forest. We've been busted a few times and one got a hold of me before I could run away."

Aiden grew angry at the thought of a police officer, a grown man, molesting a drunk teenaged girl.

"Don't worry," Faith smiled weakly at him. "He got what he deserved. Tracey ran in, kicked him in the nether regions, and we both ran for it." Her smile grew for a moment before her face saddened.

"Good thing you have friends watching your back," Aiden packed away the first aid kit and helped Faith with making something she could lean back on. He pulled out some of his extra clothes and bundled them under the pillow on the cot. "I was at a party in high school as well that got busted by the cops. I was a little too drunk to run away without crashing into a tree, I must've had two or three buddies run right passed me without helping me."

"You ran into a tree?" The smile returned to her face, her voice was getting softer as sleep probably beckoned at her.

"And I threw up all over the backseat of the officer's car. My father was able to pull some strings to keep it from going on my record, and I did have to clean up my mess while I was hungover. It was easily the worst night and morning of my life. Well, pre-Hope County that is."

His last comment sobered Faith, her smile faded. But she looked like she was having increasing difficulties fighting her drowsiness.

"Why don't you get some rest? We can continue reminiscing our past tomorrow." He motioned for the elevated pillow.

"Don't forget to practice your singing," she reminded him sleepily. "In case you have another one of those dreams." It didn't take her long for her breathing to settle into a slow rhythm.

Aiden chuckled. He still didn't understand Faith sometimes. For being one of the most devoted members of the cult she displayed such kindness.

 _Or that's what she wants you to think._

With a shake of his head, Aiden did his best to use his bag as a makeshift pillow. Only good thing about laying on the floor was that the coldness of it did help ease his burns. He made sure to plop himself in front of the door, not that he expected Faith to try to escape. Going out there would be just asking for her own demise, injuries or not.

As he waited for sleep to claim him he decided to sing a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a child, just before she started displaying illness when she then rarely had the energy to tuck him into bed.

Thankfully, he fell into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

A/N: So I know a bonding chapter had been way overdue and of course there will always be more to come. I'm also immensely sorry for the long delay of this update. Needless to say, and not to be dramatic, but after having all happiness ripped out by a loved one for no reason other than selfishness it was difficult to feel motivated to do anything which included writing. I appreciate those that privately messaged me to check what had been going on. Knowing that so many enjoy this story really helped my motivation return. As always, I look forward to any thoughts and feedback on this chapter.


	21. Doubts

Ambivalence

Chapter 21: Doubts

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Faith had slept so deeply she woke up disoriented. When her eyelids fluttered open she was immediately greeted by a concrete ceiling. For a long moment she thought she was back in her bunker, her own personal gate. She felt comfortable, warm.

 _Was it all a dream?_

A smile blossomed on the Bliss Herald's face. She must've slept for so long and deeply that her entire body felt stiff. Her chest swelled as she took a deep breath and she straightened her arms and legs to stretch. Immediately pain spread from her torso and back. It was then that she realized that everything had _not_ been a dream. The beatings from Jess and Tracey and the sleepless nights and near starvation had all been very real.

Disappointment and sadness grew heavy in her chest. There was no point in getting out of bed. She laid still on her bed, at least the blanket she had was thick and warm. It had been fairly common for her to wake up a bit chilled. Eventually the pain faded, provided she didn't try to breathe in too deeply.

With nothing to do but contemplate, Faith realized she wasn't sure when was the last time she felt this well rested. Even before the marshal, sheriff and his deputies tried to arrest the Father she frequently had difficulties getting a good night's sleep. All too soon she felt no desire to sink into her thoughts. There wasn't much to her morning routine, but just moving about would keep her from thinking. She groaned softly when she tried to lift herself up, she felt her lungs press uncomfortably against her battered ribs.

On second thought, maybe she could just sleep more. Despite sleeping so well through the night, it was surprisingly easy for her to fall into a state between consciousness and unconsciousness. A sudden voice, specifically someone mumbling, pulled her away from slumber's embrace. With wide eyes, Faith turned her head to find the source of the mumbling laying in front of the cell door.

She blinked as she took in her new surroundings. How had she not realized she wasn't in her cell? Then she recalled the previous night where Aiden took her in his cell to tend to her bruises. Guilt was quick to settle in her gut as she watched Aiden sleeping, curled up, on the ground. While she remained warm with a mattress and a thick blanket, Aiden had nothing but a thin bag for a pillow and nothing but his clothes to ward against the chill in the room. He continuously mumbled as he slept, it was difficult to understand what he was saying exactly but it was obvious he was having a nightmare.

Faith remembered how Aiden would wake her to spare her from her own nightmares, so the urge to repay the favor was too strong to ignore. "Aiden," she called. Her voice cracked from her dry throat. She took a moment to try to create moisture in her mouth before she called his name again. He remained asleep.

With another groan, Faith figured it'd be best to roll onto an elbow quickly. The pain intensified, but she didn't stop until she shifted her weight onto her arm and then pushed herself into a sitting position. Once she was on her feet the pain in her ribs lessoned. Once she stepped next to Aiden she realized it would be difficult to bend down towards him. She tried to bend down into a squat but her injured leg shook from the stress. Finally she decided to nudge the deputy with a foot.

The older male woke immediately upon the touch and he suddenly had his pistol in hand and aimed up at her. Faith lifted her arms and took a step back with a gasp. "It's just me," she told him gently.

The look in Aiden's eyes was something she wasn't used to seeing. The curious cyan color of his eyes were clouded with fear and anger. After a moment he recognized her, the intensity of his eyes softened and he lowered his handgun, a soft sigh escaped him. But as he laid on the ground his chest pumped upwards and downwards harshly as if he had been running.

A smile quickly grew on his face and he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of an arm. "Sorry," he told her, "you gave me a bit of a spook."

"You were having a nightmare," Faith replied. She offered him a hand and was a bit surprised that he took it. The last time she reached a hand to him he quickly jumped away. Then again their situation was different back then.

Even though she knew she wasn't pulling his entire weight, he pushed himself up with his free arm as well, the pull woke the pain in her back. Aiden frowned when he noticed her wince. "Sorry."

Faith shook her head. Curiosity urged her to ask him what he dreamt about. For a moment it looked like Aiden would answer, his mouth opened, but then he hesitated. "A nightmare for a nightmare. If you want to know about my demons, you're gonna have to be willing to share what yours are as well."

Faith nodded. "Fair enough." She remembered she refused to tell him about her own nightmares. Just when she was about to reveal what her last nightmare was about the silence of the enclosed cell was interrupted by a furious growl that emanated from her stomach. She blushed from the sound. Her face heated up even more when Aiden tilted his head back and laughed.

"Yeah, I feel you there." He responded. "Come on, the sooner we start the day the sooner we can get some grub. I'm starving as well. Oooh, I hope they have pizza. It's been so long."

Even though Aiden spoke cheerily, Faith could detect the slight shaking of his voice. She listened to him silently as they ventured outside. "Stop," Faith eventually said with a smile, she rested her hand over her still growling stomach. "You talking about food is making it worse."

"You think talking about food is bad? I have the habit of watching cooking videos when I'm hungry."

Before Faith could give a remark, they turned a corner and her vision immediately focused on the hooded woman that stood nearby the stairs that led to the second floor. Despite the distance between them and with her hood up, Jess' body language was obvious that she wasn't happy to see Faith. Jess stood with her feet apart, her hands tightened into fists, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Faith looked away and continued to follow Aiden as he continued to discuss the other types of food he craved or wanted to try.

Faith expected to be dropped off at her cell, but instead Aiden instructed her to take whatever she would need for a shower. She nearly pointed out that she showered the day before, but if Aiden would be taking her then maybe she could actually shower without being beaten or tortured.

A part of her was still worried that Aiden would have one of the women escort her to the shower room. Her fear must have displayed on her face because as Aiden led her back to the showers, he leaned towards her and lowered his voice, "I was going to take you, but if you feel more comfortable with—"

"—No," Faith interrupted. "I trust you."

Aiden's face brightened when she confessed her trust in him. He had yet to do anything to betray that trust, he's always been honest and kind to her. When they reached the shower room he remained outside. As she stepped in she was surprised again when he told her she would have twenty minutes to do what she had to. She failed to hide her surprise again.

With a quick thank you, she headed for the showers and felt her anxiety melt away. The room was clear and all the showerheads were turned off. She had no reason to think anyone would walk inside with Aiden standing guard at the door. And with double her usual shower time she felt like she had the entire day to enjoy a thorough wash that wasn't just her scrubbing her skin raw under running water, having the water at a preferred warm temperature was heavenly as well.

She yelped in surprise when Aiden's deep voice suddenly echoed in the tiled room halfway through her wash.

"Everything okay?"

"Y-yes!" She kept facing the wall but turned to look over her shoulder. The door was slightly ajar, but he didn't poke his head inside. Then the door shut again after he reminded her she had ten minutes left.

Faith was done with five minutes to spare. Being able to completely towel dry was a nice change as well. Before she would have to deal with putting her clothes on when her skin was still moist. Her back wasn't as raw as the day before, but it was still painful to touch. Lifting her arms was still a struggle too. She had just finished brushing out her hair when the door opened slightly again.

"You decent?"

"Yes, I'm on my way."

Faith joined Aiden in the hallway and they walked back to her cell in silence. Jess still stood by the stairs. Even though she avoided looking at the hooded woman, Faith could practically feel the hatred and anger radiating from her direction. With Aiden no longer talking about food he seemed much more alert and noticed her discomfort.

"I've used some of that cream before. I know it stinks and makes you feel sticky and gross the next day so I figured you'd want to wash it off," Aiden explained when they arrived back at her cell.

The shorter woman nodded. "Thank you." The cell door clanked gently behind her once she stepped inside.

"I'll be back."

Once the deputy's presence was gone, and she could no longer hear the thumps of his boots against the concrete floor, anxiety ate at Faith's nerves once again. Would Jess stop by? Tracey? Her heart pounded faster.

She paced about her cell, all sorts of different ways they could torment her ran through her head. She was so distracted by her thoughts she jumped when she turned and noticed movement just passing out of sight. A light thump caught her attention and she immediately noticed something new on her cot. A syringe.

Faith's moves were automatic. She sat on the bed and quickly moved her blanket over the needle. Thankfully she left her box of clothes and toiletries on the edge of the cot so she didn't have to bend to pick it up, so she dug into the box to make it look like she was organizing it while she subtly hid the syringe between the mattress and the cot frame.

She could hardly stand the pain from her back and ribs, it took so much of her willpower to leave the needle where she hid it. As much as she wanted to use it now she was afraid Aiden would return while she injected it. The drugs Tracey and Jess gave her was the one good thing she had. If she lost the chance to get more she didn't know what she would do.

Now all she could think about was the temptation to use the needle. It wouldn't take her long to use it. Four seconds tops. She just needed a break from the pain.

 _You've lost sight of yourself._

The Father's words from her dream still haunted her. The guilt from disappointing the Father brought moisture into her eyes. She found herself rocking slightly and quickly stopped. She hung her head, folded her hands on her lap, and whispered a quick prayer begging for forgiveness. The tears swelled in her eyes when she couldn't even finish her prayer, her thoughts drifted back to the needle that laid hidden within arm's reach.

She was truly weak. She failed the Father.

"You okay?"

Faith jolted from Aiden's sudden voice. She blinked hard to hide her tears and forced a smile on her face. "As well as could be, given the circumstances."

Aiden nodded before he unlocked the cell door and stepped inside. In one arm he carried two bowls and handed one to her while he used his leg to close the door. The bowl was small, but heavy, and warm to the touch. She looked at the contents and felt her stomach complain again.

"I hope you like ramen." The chair wasn't in her cell so Aiden plopped himself on the second cot. "We slept through breakfast so I had to cook up something."

Being in the deputy's presence was intoxicating. Faith's dark thoughts of her failure and weakness were forgotten and the consistent urge to use the needle faded. She quickly twirled her fork in the noodles and shoved a huge bundle into her mouth. The heat from the fresh food practically scalded her tongue, but it didn't stop her from shoving another forkful into her mouth, and then a third.

While the ramen had a slightly more rich taste to it thanks to the egg and cheese she tasted from it, it was obvious the ramen was instant. "By cooking do you mean you made the noodles from scratch? Made the broth yourself? Chopped up the vegetables?" She grinned at him before she shoved another forkful of food into her mouth.

"Of course. I've lived off of ramen so much during and after college I've learned to master my own take of instant ramen. I probably should have asked you if you don't mind an egg and cheese in your ramen though. Most people seemed put off by those two being added."

"It's good," Faith said before she drank the broth. The meal was light enough to leave her feeling satisfied, not too full to where she would feel sick and not too little where she craved more. "Thank you."

Aiden had already drained the last of his meal before she did. When she was done he took her bowl and left it on the sink where a water bottle rested. Then he dug into his pocket. "I snuck this for you too. But let's keep this as our little secret, yeah?"

He handed her a small, thick pill and the bottled water. "For the pain," he added when she studied the pill.

Warmth spread through Faith's chest and it wasn't from the warm broth she just consumed. She still didn't understand why this man was so damn kind to her, but she appreciated it all the same. It wasn't until she washed the pill down with water that she looked at Aiden and tried to detect any pain in his own eyes or through his body movement.

"I hope you didn't give me what the doctor gave you for your burns."

He scratched the back of his head and gave a slight chuckle. "Like I said, let's keep it between us."

Regret and guilt immediately flooded Faith. At first she was baffled why she would feel this way, she should be satisfied the deputy was sacrificing his own comfort for her sake. It was the least he could do for ruining her life. But she couldn't bring herself to feel that way. Instead, her gratitude for him grew. She swallowed thickly as she thought over how her feelings of physical attraction to him grew beyond that. He's been the second person to ever show her such kindness it was difficult for her not to feel anything for him.

 _Even then he's the first to show kindness to me without having to be frightening and harsh at the same time._

"Why would you do that for me?" She said the words before she could stop and promptly wished she could take them back. But there had to be a reason why he was being so nice to her. There was _always_ a reason anyone was ever nice to her. Even the Father benefited from it. And then suddenly she didn't want to know his reason. If he had something to gain she knew it would make her feel hurt and used.

Aiden responded with a shrug. "I've had broken ribs before. I know they hurt. It's always nice to have a brief break from the pain, right? And I do appreciate you helping me with reversing Jacob's conditioning. So this is really the least I could do."

Faith frowned. "But you're letting me go in return for helping you. So there's no need to do anything more."

"Maybe," Aiden shrugged again. "But when I was your prisoner there was no need to make me comfortable. I didn't need to be fed. And no doubt the Peggies probably would have given me a beating to an inch of my life if not for you to specifically tell them to leave me alone."

The frown remained on the Bliss Herald's face. "What did my brothers do to you?" She mentally cursed. She did it again, spoke before she could control herself.

Aiden sighed. "What they did to me pales in comparison to what they did to the others." He sighed and stood up which immediately made Faith feel anxious. Was he leaving? She didn't want to deal with whatever Jess or Tracey had in store for her once Aiden left.

"Are you still hungry?" He asked her. "I should take these dishes back before the egg stink sticks to them."

She thought about asking for more food, but she didn't want to feel sick if she forced herself to eat more. And then would he bring her something himself or have someone else do it? "I think…more water would be nice. If you don't mind."

He nodded and headed for the door with the dishes in hand. Then he peeked at her over his shoulder. "No need to look that way. I'll be back. We still got to work on my training, right?"

Relief flooded through Faith and she nodded. There really was something about his presence. Once he was gone again the urge to use the needle came back with a vengeance. And with the painkiller coursing through her system whatever drug was given to her would feel that much more amazing.

Her slim fingers groped underneath the mattress and eventually found its prize. But immediately upon feeling the syringe she hesitated. Aiden would still be coming back. The man was quick to notice every little thing. There was little doubt that he would probably notice that she was high.

No, not yet. She would wait to use it later.

Just like he promised, Aiden returned and with his guitar in hand. He may not have been the best singer Faith had ever heard, but he played the guitar well. While he was deadly with his firearms, and her leg throbbed just remembering his aim with his pistol while he was still under the influence of the Bliss, but his fingers were delicate as they strummed the instrument.

"I know you said relying on the guitar was pointless since I won't always have it in hand should I ever hear the trigger, but it helps me get into a singing mood. We're practicing for now, right?"

"Fine," Faith waved a hand. "Just for now though. It would be best to stick to one song so you can sing it by memory without hesitating. Do you have a favorite?"

"Not really. But it's supposed to be something that is relaxing, right? I know a few songs that I find relaxing. I think this one is my favorite."

Faith didn't recognize the song that he played. Time was lost to her while she listened to him play and sing, and it did sooth her. It was a nice song. A little short, but sweet. It was a typical tune about unrequited love.

"I never pegged you for being a romantic," Faith teased when he took a break from singing.

Aiden laughed. "That's what I told my buddy. He was the one to write this song actually. It was his dream to be in a band and go pro. He taught me to play the guitar and he used this song for it."

"It's nice," Faith admitted. "Did he get his wish?"

The smile faltered from Aiden's face. "No. After high school he started hanging out with the wrong type of crowd. Got into trouble a few times and did some time. We lost contact after I got into college."

"Too bad," Faith replied. "What about you? Do you enjoy playing and singing as just a hobby or do you have aspirations to go pro as well?"

Aiden laughed. "Me? Pro? With my voice? I know there's no chance in hell for that. Nah, I just enjoy it to relax. I much prefer to just play the guitar if I ever did get the chance to join a band though. I'll leave the singing to someone more talented."

He placed the guitar down against the wall and cracked his neck. "And what about you, Faith? You have a helluva singing voice. When I first heard you sing I thought I was with Mindy Moore for a second."

A blush heated Faith's cheeks. No one really ever complimented her singing. Then again she wasn't public about it, even with the Project. Her parents didn't like it when she sung so she only indulged in it if she was somewhere alone and out of hearing distance from anyone. "No, like you it's just something I enjoy. It's not something I would want to do for a living."

"I understand," Aiden responded before he took a drink from one of the many water bottles he brought for them. "What about song writing? Or do you play any instruments?"

Faith shook her head. "Maybe one day I would like to learn to play the piano. Or the violin. Maybe even the guitar. They are all beautiful instruments."

Aiden rubbed his chin in thought. "I would say I could show you to play the guitar. But I know you're eager to help me get through this counterconditioning so you can return home."

Something stirred inside Faith. She almost accepted his offer then and there. Part of her wanted to learn how to play, the bigger part of her really only wanted to learn because it would be Aiden teaching her. But he was right, the sooner she helped him the sooner she could leave this nightmare.

 _If this is a nightmare for you, being trapped in Hope County is a nightmare for the people here. Without the Father there is no Project and the nightmare would end for these people too._

Faith quickly shoved the traitorous thoughts out of her head. Maybe she could help Aiden get the resistance out of Hope County when he released her? His people could get out and she could return to what was left of her family.

What was wrong with her? Faith took a deep breath to control her rising panic. Being in this place, being with Aiden, was messing with her head. There was no happiness here. Her happiness was with the Father and the purpose she had with the Project.

"And song writing? You ever try your hand at that?"

His question pulled her out of her thoughts and was a welcome distraction. "I may have thought about writing lyrics. But I'm no good with writing it _with_ music."

"That's one thing I learned from my friend. Everyone works differently. With him he would write a song by playing it on the guitar first. He worked out a melody and put everything together from there. Then he would play the song over and over again while he figured out the actual vocal part of the song. A friend of his was the opposite. She would write the words for the song first then she would work it out with the instruments."

Faith thought it over. And what Aiden said made sense. Maybe if she just focused on writing the words first she could think of something. A moment later she found herself liking that idea.

"You look like you have an idea. Do you enjoy creating songs?"

"Maybe," Faith replied. "I've often thought of writing lyrics."

"What's stopped you from doing so?"

Faith looked at Aiden and felt herself hesitate.

 _Drugs and then the Project stopped me_.

"Guess I just never stopped to take the time," she chose to say instead.

"Hmmmm," Aiden rubbed at his chin again. "You know, just for fun, what if we made another deal?"

The younger woman frowned.

"Hey hear me out before you look at me like that," he chuckled. "Yeah I'll keep working on my singing, especially my friend's song. But what if you tried your hand on writing the lyrics to a song? Once you're done, and if I'm not done with my counterconditioning training by then I can try my hand at writing the guitar portion of the song. Does that sound like fun?"

Faith was silent for a long moment. At first she was against the idea, but the stupid smile on Aiden's face was convincing her otherwise. There was a way he looked at her that was difficult to describe, it was without any judgement, no lust, no loathing either. It made her feel like they were friends in some way. The idea was baffling to her, but she couldn't help feeling so warm and…in a better mood when she was around him. She felt like she could be herself. She didn't have to pretend.

 _I don't have to be sweet, innocent Faith._

"Why with me though?" She asked. The idea almost made her want to laugh. Even though he was "doing his job" by treating her fairly she still did so many things to him and the people he cared about. And despite his kindness she was still his prisoner. To create a song together it was difficult to grasp.

"The better question is why not?" Aiden shrugged. "You've thought of writing lyrics. I'm better at playing the guitar. We'd make a great team. It's just a little bit of fun to keep us occupied, right?"

For the third time that day, Faith found herself speaking before she could think otherwise and she agreed to Aiden's idea. Immediately afterwards she wanted to take back her agreement, but the look on his face was so happy she couldn't bring herself to disappoint him.

"Awesome," the deputy responded. "It'll be great! No pressure though to get it done before you, ah, leave."

Their conversation ceased as Aiden worked on his singing again only without the guitar. After the warm shower and meal, and from Aiden's soothing guitar playing earlier, Faith felt ready for another nap. The painkiller must have kicked in as well because her aches and pains weren't as sharp and distracting. Considering that she finally slept through the whole night uninterrupted, and woke up feeling so refreshed, she was curious as to why she felt tired so soon.

"I think you've passed the first step," Faith announced softly. Her eyelids were getting harder and harder to lift each time she blinked. "You've gotten more confident with your singing, at least in front of me. Now we move on to the next step."

Aiden groaned. "I don't think I like where you're going with this."

A small smile grew on Faith's pale face. "Now you'll have to get comfortable singing in front of other people."

Another groan from the deputy. "How will that work? I just break out in song randomly?"

An idea formulated in Faith's head and she couldn't help the chuckle that resulted from it. "I think a trigger word will suffice. If anyone says the word you have to start singing."

"Okay…dare I ask what word will be the trigger?"

Faith thought a moment and her smile threatened to widen. She noted how her cheeks didn't feel stiff anymore which was a nice change. She hated how swollen her face had gotten from the bruises. "Any time someone says the word 'Peggie' you have to sing."

Aiden's eyes bugged and his stubbled jaw dropped. His facial reaction was so humorous Faith couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her.

"Yes, that word will be perfect," she added.

"Do you know how often people say that? If I had to pay a penny for every time someone said it I'd owe more money than my student loans! I think I ran into two babies where their first word was Peggie."

"Then we know it'll be good practice."

Another groan came from the male while he rubbed his eyes. "Will I have to sing an entire song?"

"No, just a verse or two will be fine. Or just the chorus."

Aiden sighed, glanced at his broken watch before he glanced out the window. "Looks like I'll be getting some practice then, there are a few things I need to attend to today."

Faith immediately felt her heart beat faster. He was going to leave her and her torment would continue.

Aiden must have noticed her anxiety, his eyes softened as he watched her. "Listen, Faith, I know I haven't done my best to ensure your safety here. Bringing you here wasn't exactly a part of the plan, you were sick and needed medical attention. Now that you're better I can look into moving you elsewhere."

Relief flooded through Faith and she found it easier to breathe. "Where?"

Aiden shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. The bunker you were in before is now a known location and the Cougars may have visited the place to gather the supplies. I'll have to look into another place."

Faith nodded. She just hoped she could last until Aiden moved her.

The junior deputy stood up and stretched. Faith noticed he grimaced and she hated feeling guilty over it. She should be feeling happy that he was hurt. Instead, she found herself wanting to repay the kindness he gave her.

"You helped me," Faith found herself saying, "anything I can do to help?"

There was that sincere smile on his face again. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small tube that looked similar to the one he used when he applied the cream on her bruises.

"I can't reach some of the burns that are on my back. The cream helps with the itching and the pain a bit. Since you're offering, do you mind giving me a hand?"

Faith smiled and extended her hand out to take the tube from him. He stepped next to her cot and turned around before he lifted his shirt to expose his lower back. She winced as she looked at the redness of his skin, some of it was beginning to peel. She dabbed a generous amount of the cream onto his skin and gently massaged it onto the burns. Despite trying to concentrate on the task at hand, Faith couldn't help noticing how the muscles in his back moved when he jolted as she rubbed the cream in.

"Thanks," Aiden told her when she was done. "Well, supplies won't find themselves. Oh, and there's one other thing before I forget."

Anxiety threatened to build up within Faith, her day had been so bearable she wasn't ready to be tormented. Or be left to her own thoughts of her failure to the Father. She was so occupied with her distressed thoughts that she hadn't noticed Aiden left her cell. Unsure how long he'd be gone, Faith had just given into sleep's temptation when Aiden returned.

He handed her a small, thick book. The cover displayed two people, a man clad in heavy armor. He had his arm around a woman with her back turned, her back was bare that showed off a tattoo of a butterfly. " _The Curse Giver_?" Faith read the title aloud as she took the book from Aiden.

"It took some digging around to find a novel that wasn't romance heavy. Small warning there is a bit of romance in this story. But it's one of my favorites."

As Faith strummed through the pages she found herself smiling, she was excited to have something to occupy her time. She looked back to Aiden and felt her smile widen. "You remembered?"

"Of course. Once you're done I can exchange it for something else."

Faith was already on the first page, ready to start reading. "What makes this your favorite?"

"Besides the smooth and well storytelling? The plot? I really liked the main characters to boot. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crushing on the female protagonist. Despite going through a lot of suffrage, she remains strong and determined. Incredibly smart and resourceful as well. If I say any more it'll be spoilers." He paused a moment and took a step towards the exit. "Oh! And don't forget this." He pulled out a folded paper and a pencil from his back pocket.

Faith unfolded the paper and realized it was several sheets. She arched a thin eyebrow when she saw that the papers were all blank. Aiden was grinning when she looked back at him.

"It's for our song. If you ever get around to working on the lyrics."

There was something about the way Aiden said "our" that made Faith feel more excited for their little project than she cared to.

"Anyway, I hope you enjoy the book. I should get going."

Whether it was a mixture of wanting Aiden to stay even just a little longer or the gratitude she was still feeling from being given something to read, Faith found herself not caring that she was giving information that was of no benefit to her. It was one thing to tell Aiden where to find medical supplies if it meant saving herself, but this time all she desired was to help him in return for all of the kindness he's constantly given to her.

"You said you needed to find supplies," she asked.

Aiden paused and looked back at her, his own eyebrow arched. "That's right."

"What…what kind of supplies do you need?"

There was that warm smile on his face again that caused Faith to feel butterflies in her stomach.

"Weapons and ammo mostly," he replied.

Faith inhaled deeply. Then she expected to feel the sharp twinge in her ribs, but the medication dulled it to a subtle ache. "Do you have a map?"

Aiden nodded and excused himself. She watched as he headed for the cell in the far corner where he's had meetings with the sheriff and his friends. He quickly returned and handed her the map. It was littered with circles, X's, and arrows. With the pencil he gave her, Faith circled two nearby stashes before she handed him back the map.

"Both stashes are in small caves. There will be Bliss barrels and Blissed induced animals guarding them." Faith wasn't sure if she was just feeling numb, she expected to feel guilty for giving such information but she wasn't.

 _You've lost sight of yourself._

Faith ignored the voice.

Aiden looked surprised as he took the map back. "Thank you, Faith. Really."

She shook her head. It was her that should be thanking him for treating her kindly, but she was afraid to express gratitude in case he became like everyone else where they'd go back to hating her now that she's given them something they wanted. She didn't think she'd endure that type of pain if Aiden did that.

"This will save me a lot of time. I'll be back tonight in time for dinner. I hope it's pizza." He left while muttering some song about a crusty pizza.

Faith snorted as she watched him leave. A long moment later she remembered the syringe. It was strange that she didn't feel the urge to reach for it. Instead, she opened the book and began to read.

* * *

"You called for me?"

Aiden glanced up from the map and motioned for the huntress to get closer. "How have you been feeling? Any more headaches?"

Jess shook her head. "Nah. Not for some time," she glanced at the map before she looked back at him, "why?"

The junior deputy pointed to the two locations Faith had circled. He was still surprised she was so forthcoming about the information, and he had his doubts and was worried they might be traps. "I know you get stir crazy so now that you're feeling better I want you and Sharky to lead a team to these locations. My sources say the Peg—cult have supplies hidden there."

Jess looked at him dubiously. "Well I'm glad you're finally letting me get the hell outta this place. I've been getting withdrawals from not killing any Peggies lately."

Aiden groaned.

The hooded woman's eyes softened. "What's wrong?" Her expression changed to shock and then to perturbed when Aiden began singing. He kept his voice low and sang a quick verse. All the while his face felt like it was on fire.

"What the hell was that?"

Aiden shook his head. "It's part of my…counterconditioning."

A scoff escaped the woman. "You're shitting me. How is _that_ supposed to help?"

He shook his head. "It's a long story. Just trust me when I say I'm not going crazy or anything. Anyway, about the supplies. Expect a lot of Blissed up animals. I don't need to remind you to be careful."

Realization dawned in the woman's blue eyes. "Did _she_ tell you about these stashes?"

Aiden thought about denying it just to avoid an argument, but his brief hesitation was all the proof that Jess needed.

"You really don't trust the flower bitch with this info, right? You damn well know it's a trap."

"I have my suspicions it might, but—"

"So you send _me_ to check these places out?" Jess stomped about the room. "Or did she put you up to this? What did she say about me?"

Aiden frowned. "She didn't say anything about you. It's _my_ decision to send you out."

"Bullshit she didn't bait you somehow to separate us. You've been spending an awful lot of time with her. Don't think we didn't notice she was missing from her cell last night. Did you guys fuck so soon?"

Anger was quick to course through Aiden's veins. "No, it's not like that with us. For the last time, she is my prisoner, my responsibility until the proper authorities take over when all of this is done." He paused to take a deep breath to cool off. "And what about you?"

Jess' eyes shined with anger. "What about me?"

"Don't think I haven't seen her bruises or the welts on her back. Those injuries weren't inflected from self-defense."

There was something else other than anger that flashed through Jess' eyes, Aiden couldn't identify what it was. "How would you even—so you did fuck her."

He tried to express his innocence but Jess continued to push.

"She already has you wrapped around her finger just because she let you get it wet. So the first thing you do is send me packing halfway across the Henbane. All just to protect your sweet little flower girl."

"Damn it, Jess!" Aiden couldn't help his outburst. He absolutely hated to be accused of something he didn't do. "I didn't, and won't, cross that line."

"You know she can't be trusted, yet you still make nice with her, you still trust her to undo whatever Jacob did to you. I'll say it again, she's just going to manipulate the conditioning so you'll be her Blissless Angel."

"That's not going to happen."

"Yes it will!"

"Why can't you just trust me, Jess?! After everything we've gone through together you don't trust that I know what I'm doing."

Jess had always been fast, sometimes she moved faster than Aiden could keep up with. He suddenly felt her grip onto his shirt and he closed his eyes expecting to be punched. Instead, he felt something soft shove against his lips. By the time he opened his eyes Jess shoved him away.

There was rarely ever a moment where a single thought wasn't running through Aiden's head, but at the current moment he was utterly dumbfounded. Did Jess really just kiss him? For as much time as they've spent together, she never hinted at any type of attraction to him. Sure there were a few moments they shared during their downtime in the past, but they were both more concerned with survival.

He looked back at Jess and noticed a flash of hurt in her eyes that quickly melted into anger again. She took a step back, but not before she grabbed the map and shoved it into a pocket on her jacket.

"You're too nice, Aiden," she warned. "Too empathetic to everyone with a sob story. That's going to be your downfall. And I'll be damned if I'm just going to sit around and not do anything to prevent it."

With that Jess quickly walked out of the cell. Aiden could do nothing but continue to stand there and think over what just happened.

* * *

A few chapters into the book and Faith could fight her heavy eyelids no longer. She couldn't have slept for more than a few minutes with daylight still peering in through her window. Unsure of what had awakened her, she was just about to return to her nap when Jess' angry voice jolted her awake.

With her heart pounding painfully in her chest, Faith looked towards the cell bars but found it empty. Jess' angry voice continued to carry towards her cell and immediately afterwards Aiden's voice joined. Curious, Faith rolled into a sitting position to peek out from her cell. Her eyes immediately spotted the arguing pair across the floor.

She watched for a short time but wasn't able to make out exactly what was being said. Before she could dismiss their argument and return to a laying position her eyes widened slightly as she watched Jess grab Aiden and pull him down to kiss him.

Faith didn't understand why observing the two kiss made her chest hurt, like her heart was being ripped out. It was stupid to feel such a way. She didn't have feelings for Aiden, it didn't matter who he kissed, right? Eventually the hurt changed to disappointment.

Then she remembered what Aiden had said about the book he gave her, about how he described the female protagonist. He seemed to be attracted to strong women. Women like Jess. Definitely not someone like her.

Feeling sad now, Faith tried to return to sleep but couldn't bring herself to do so. Then she remembered the syringe that still laid hidden beneath her mattress. She was so tired of feeling upset, of feeling pity for herself. So without a second thought, she reached for the syringe.

* * *

A/N: Annnnnnnd this chapter was almost not brought to you thanks to Gears 5 and Borderlands 3. XD


	22. Relapse

Ambivalence

Chapter 22: Relapse

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Just like last time the high didn't last long enough. Once it wore off Faith found herself craving another dose, she needed a distraction from her thoughts of failure. She couldn't concentrate on the book Aiden gave her, she would read the words but they wouldn't stick. Sleep eluded her.

She hadn't noticed when Jess and Aiden left the corner cell, but when she did finally realize their absence her heart nearly beat out of her chest when Tracey appeared.

"Well, well, so the flower girl finally returns from the deputy's private cell," Tracey told Faith. For the first time since Faith had seen her former friend during her incarceration Tracey finally had her hood down, a smirk plastered on her face. "I don't know whether to think the deputy is weaker than I thought or if it was actually him that took pity on you and offered you one last night with a man."

Faith remained silent. She could lie and probably cause further distrust between Aiden and the Resistance, but she found herself unwilling to do that. Or she could tell the truth, but no matter what she told Tracey she would never believe her.

The Bliss Herald felt her palms sweat and her mouth went dry while she watched Tracey unlock her cell and step inside.

"We both know when all this is over you'll never see the light of day again that's not behind bars," Tracey continued. Her grin never faded. "You know what I think? I think there's enough witnesses to confirm that you are responsible for a U.S. Marshal's life. You know how the cops are, they're just frat boys with guns. You hurt or kill one of them and you'll have a target on your back. Then with everything else you've done for the cult, you're good as dead."

Faith knew Tracey was only trying to get in her head, make her hit rock bottom. And it was working. A small part of her wanted to believe what Aiden told her, that she could serve her time and try to live a life afterwards, alone. But a bigger part of her believed Tracey, she made much more sense.

"But you know how our justice system is, who knows how long you'll be locked up before they finally give you the needle. And I don't mean these types of needles."

Faith lowered her eyes and saw Tracey held a handful of syringes.

"You think you have it bad here? It'll be so much worse with the guards at a real prison. And imagine if any of your fellow prisoners had any family here in Hope County, innocent people tortured or killed by you Peggies."

Faith struggled to swallow the lump in her throat. The thought that things could be much worse than how they were now made her feel a little sick to her stomach. Her thoughts were interrupted when Tracey offered her the syringes. But when she reached for them Tracey pulled her hand away. Frustration tore through Faith, she didn't know if she wanted to yell or cry.

"There is one thing you could do to spare yourself the hell that's in store for you," Tracey whispered to her. Then she offered the syringes again and didn't pull away. Her smile was filled with malice when Faith eagerly grabbed the drugs, but her eyes had a tiny fragment of softness to them. Could she be conflicted about something?

"Don't take them all at once," Tracey scoffed before she left the cell and locked the door behind her.

The moment she was out of sight Faith wasted no time in injecting herself with one of the syringes. She sighed and felt a smile grow on her face as the drug coursed through her veins and made the pain, both physical and mental, melt away. Tracey's implication didn't escape her notice, and she no doubt had enough drugs to just make everything blissful permanently. The temptation was incredibly strong, much stronger than her years of loneliness as a teenager.

Would the Father mourn her? A sinister part of her, the traitorous part of her, believed he probably already replaced her. The thought was enough to make her inject herself a second time. She nearly used a third one when she suddenly thought about Aiden. The memory of watching him kiss Jess tore a hole through her chest, but she still thought about him.

It was stupid that she wanted to see him again, talk to him and get to know him more. She was so much happier just being in his presence with how he made her feel.

No, she couldn't bring herself to inject herself again so soon. Maybe if the pain became too much later, but not now.

She hid the drugs beneath her mattress and rode out the high. At least she had a few moments of peace.

Her blue eyes drifted to the small book that laid on the edge of her cot. Hit with a sudden burst of motivation, she reached for the book and extracted the folded sheets of paper within it and the pencil. Time became lost to her as she filled out an entire page. Half of it was scratched out, but she had a good amount of material.

The woman jumped when a sudden voice filled the emptiness of her cell. Turning to the source, she felt her cheeks pull into a smile upon seeing Aiden. She suddenly became self-conscious and wondered if he could tell that she was high. Or was she? She had been so lost in her thoughts and feelings that she hadn't realized her aches and pains were back.

"Hungry?" Aiden announced after he stepped through the cell door. He held two bowls and offered one to her.

The aroma of meat and spices drifted into Faith's nostrils and her mouth watered. Two spoonful's later and it finally registered the stew was bear meat. She had never been ecstatic about the meat growing up, but the spices made it tolerable, delicious even.

For the short time Faith has spent and learned about Aiden she was aware that the man was a huge and fast eater. Then again he was tall and muscular built so his appetite was understandable. Each time they ate together he would be done with his meal by the time Faith was halfway with hers. And so Faith was surprised to look up from her empty bowl and see that Aiden was still eating his. She caught him watching her with a curious glint in his cyan eyes.

"How's the stew?" He asked her.

Before she could answer, Faith did her best to suppress a hiccup, it was a result from her eating the food so quickly. "To be honest I'm not particular fond of bear meat, but I almost didn't recognize the taste of it in the stew. I enjoyed it."

Aiden's eyes brightened. Faith recognized the proudful grin that grew on his face. She recalled the few times the deputy admitted to being a horrid cook so her head tilted as she watched him curiously. "You made it?"

Surprise flashed in the older male's eyes. "Wh-what makes you say that?"

A smile grew on the Bliss Herald's face. Aiden was very observant himself so she couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction in surprising him playing his own game. "You have a certain smug when you're proud of something. And I didn't miss the way you watched me as I ate. It wasn't difficult to figure it out from there. I thought you couldn't cook?"

The smile grew back on Aiden's face. He finally finished his own stew and collected Faith's bowl and placed both their empty dishes on top of the cell's sink before he sat back on the cot he claimed for himself. "I can't cook. But with all the people that have—well help was needed in the kitchens so I volunteered. I'm not completely helpless with cooking, I may have used a friend's recipe from Fall's End on the meat. Only the recipe isn't for bear meat. Still it worked out, right?"

Faith nodded. She was about to smile at him again when a cramp erupted in her stomach. Being a woman, cramps were not a foreign pain so she paid it no mind. Her attention drifted back to Aiden when he spoke.

"I noticed you've gotten some writing down," he nodded his chin towards the paper she filled out. "Mind if I take a look?"

Heat immediately filled Faith's cheeks. It was stupid that she felt self-conscious about the lyrics she wrote considering her and Aiden were working on a song together. Honestly she was afraid if he read the lyrics he would immediately figure out it was about him. But if he didn't read them he would hear the lyrics eventually. She opened her mouth to give him the okay to read what she had written so far, but he was quicker and stood up. Faith thought he was reaching for the paper, instead he grabbed the bowls and excused himself.

He wasn't gone long when the craving for another dose hit Faith. It worried her that she wasn't even hurting to want a dose to mask her pain. She was still in a good mood from the little time spent with Aiden and her back and ribs weren't even a distraction. Did she build a dependency on the drugs so soon? She quickly calculated the amount of injections she took in the last few days and mentally scolded herself. If the Father wasn't disappointed in her before, he would be angry with her at this point.

Aiden reappeared before Faith could reach for another syringe she still kept hidden beneath her mattress, he held a guitar in one hand and a folding chair in the other. Faith mentally cursed as she watched him struggle to unlock her cell. All she could think about was taking another dose and she hated herself for feeling that way.

"I'm glad to see that you worked on your part of the song, I worked a little on mine when I was on guard duty this morning," Aiden explained as he sat and settled his guitar on his lap. "So I don't have too much, I just experimented with a melody. I can't decide which one to go with, maybe you can help?"

He began playing before Faith could agree to it. He played two rhythms, a fast and a slow one. The last one was the middle ground between the two, not too fast and not too slow. Faith only heard a few seconds of it and it felt like if something had clicked. The melody brought her lyrics to mind and felt like it brought life to the words. A smile grew on her face. "That one," she told him.

Aiden paused and glanced at her. After a moment a small grin grew in the corner of his mouth. He kept playing the melody. There were a few times that he stumbled, but playing it a few times he eventually perfected it. It was a beautiful melody and Faith suddenly felt worried her lyrics wouldn't do it justice. But the longer she listened to the guitar the more motivated she felt to continue writing. She reached for the paper and pencil and jotted down another verse before she decided on the chorus.

They didn't speak to each other for an unknown amount of time. Each time Faith looked at Aiden she caught him trying to peek at her papers, but he would always try to make it seem like he wasn't looking. Eventually Faith gathered her courage. She realized that if hearing a melody could help motivate her to work on her song further, maybe hearing the lyrics could help Aiden.

"Could you start from the beginning again?" Faith asked him. With a deep breath, and her entire face on fire, Faith played the song in her head one final time before she asked him to start over again. Finally, she sang the lyrics. There was a moment of hesitation from Aiden when she began to sing, but he was quick to recover and continue playing.

It wasn't the best, they both had their share of small mistakes, and the song was far from completion, but the progress they did have was satisfying. When Faith finished singing Aiden ceased to play as well.

"Wow," Aiden said first. "That was…great."

Faith's blush threatened to ignite her face literally on fire. She failed to suppress the smile that pulled on the still healing split lip given to her from Jess. "I could say the same about your guitar playing." Her heart thumped painfully, she was afraid Aiden would figure out the lyrics were about him.

If he did suspect anything, he kept it to himself. Aiden stood with his guitar in hand. "I don't know about you, but that playing got me a bit thirsty. I'll grab us something to drink." He yawned and glanced out the window. Faith glanced at it after him and grew surprised to see the sky dark.

"You like coffee?" Aiden asked her.

"I can drink it," Faith replied, "with milk and sugar, if you have any." In truth it had been years since Faith had any coffee. As with drugs and alcohol, the Father was against any type of dependencies, caffeine included. At the beginning when Faith was given her purpose, to help her cope with the demands of the Bliss production across the county she indulged in a few mugs of coffee to help her throughout the day. Once she became accustomed to the work demand she ceased her caffeine dependency too.

 _Relapsing on another weakness._

Faith ignored the thought. One cup of coffee wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like—her thoughts and gaze drifted to the spot she hid her deepest regret. Aiden already left and would be gone long enough for her to indulge in just one.

Her stomach cramped and the shirt she wore was damp from the sweat she broke into a few minutes ago. While she and Aiden had worked on their song the cramps continued. It had taken a few of them for Faith to recognize the pains, they meant one thing. She needed another dose before the other symptoms began.

Muscle memory kicked in and Faith had a syringe in hand, the needle stabbed between her toes and she pressed the plunger all the way in. By the time she hid the empty syringe and the drug coursed through her veins Aiden returned with two steaming mugs in hand.

Hoping Aiden wouldn't notice she was high, she accepted the mug. With a careful sip, she hummed and closed her eyes. It was sweet with just a hint of the coffee's bitterness.

"Did I make it okay?" Aiden asked her from his spot on the chair.

"Perfect," she smiled. It was interesting, almost creepy, with how well Aiden was able to make food and drink to satisfy her tastes. "If only you went into culinary instead of law enforcement. I would've wanted you as my personal chef," she joked.

It wasn't until a moment later that she realized what she said and hoped she didn't offend Aiden. She understood how mentioning anything about the Project could upset him. But when Aiden chuckled she felt surprised.

"Well at least I know I have a backup plan if law enforcement doesn't work out. Though I'm not sure many others will feel the same as you." Aiden took a sip from his own mug. "So I was right? You really did have your own chef?"

Faith grimaced. "I did." Thankfully Aiden didn't become upset, his eyes shined with curiosity.

"Oh yeah? What kind of food did you usually want?"

The Bliss Herald shrugged. "Anything that wasn't local to the county. I love barbeque and meat as much as the next person, but having it my whole life was a little…tiring at times."

Aiden nodded. He continued to ask her about the different cuisines she had, told her about some restaurants he's had outside of Hope County, and they shared a decent conversation about food and eventually drinks.

"That reminds me," Aiden blurted suddenly. "I hope you'll keep this as another one of our secrets, yes?"

Faith lifted an eyebrow. She knew she became really comfortable with the very man that destroyed the only happiness in her life when she was able to continue to joke and tease him. "You're kidding right? With my reputation as a liar and a manipulator, even if I did tell anyone it's not like anyone would think I was telling the truth."

"Good point," Aiden grinned. It was just like in the movies where he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and he pulled out a silver flask. He unscrewed the small cap and poured an amber liquid into his mug before he handed it to her.

Faith felt her eyebrows meet her hairline. Was Aiden really giving her alcohol? She sat staring at him dumbfounded for a moment.

"Our secret, right?" He continued to hold the flask out to her. She expected him to pull away when she reached for it, but he didn't move until she took the flask from him.

"Especially don't tell my friends. They might feel a little jealous that they weren't the only ones to enjoy a night to themselves with some booze," Aiden added.

Faith paused at the information Aiden gave her and quickly stashed the idea away for later. For now, she just wanted to enjoy a good drink while high and with good company. Their conversation about food drifted to their aspirations in terms of travel. Faith never traveled outside of Hope County, minus the small trip she and Tracey made to the West before they returned to join the Project, but she and Aiden had plenty to share regarding the cities and countries they would like to visit one day. Faith giggled when Aiden explained all of the museums and libraries he wanted to visit, she never took him as a nerd.

"What?" He eventually asked after one of her giggles.

"You're such a nerd," she teased.

"Oh, I gift some booze and she insults me." Despite his words Aiden handed her the flask back.

They both had long since drained their mugs and had just been taking turns sipping from the flask. Faith's head felt light and she found herself giddy. It had been so long since she felt good like this.

"Not an insult," she took another sip and found the words a little more difficult to pronounce. She was pretty sure she was drunk at this point. Her eyes kept drifting to Aiden's full pink lips. "Maybe I like nerdy men. They're smart, they're usually mature, and they tend to be…very unselfish."

Aiden laughed and accepted the flask back. There was a little red tint to his cheeks, but whether it was from Faith's words or from the alcohol she wasn't sure. All too soon the flask became empty and Faith felt disappointment grow heavy in her chest. She wanted to talk to Aiden more, she wasn't sure what had changed between them but she loved the easiness that came with talking to him. They never had a moment of awkwardness or silence.

The junior deputy continued to surprise Faith when he announced he would fetch more whiskey, but when he returned he suggested they return to his cell while they both were still capable of walking steadily.

Inside of Aiden's isolated cell they continued their conversation. Faith felt grateful he never asked her about her troubled past, if she mentioned anything herself he never pressed her for more information and always respected her wishes if she didn't want to discuss the topic further. Their discussions eventually turned into a new type of game.

"Never ever?" Faith asked.

"Yeah," Aiden returned with an entire bottle of whiskey instead of the flask, he also smuggled two shot glasses. He filled both shot glasses and handed one to her. "You've _never_ played that game?"

Faith shook her head. "I may have tagged along some parties with Tracey, but we were just there to drink. We didn't exactly converse or play games with the others."

"Well the rules are easy. We take turns and one person has to admit something they have never done. If the other person has done that thing they have to drink."

"Sounds simple enough," Faith replied.

"Here, we'll do something easy as 'practice,'" Aiden grinned. "Never have I ever…slept with a man."

Faith's hand moved involuntarily, she playfully slapped Aiden on the arm. There was a quick moment where fear turned her veins cold, but when Aiden began to laugh she felt her smile return.

"Hey! You have to drink if it's something you have done."

Faith gave him her best death glare and tossed the shot back. "Yeah? Well never have I ever slept with a woman."

Aiden continued to laugh before he drank from his own shot glass. Then he filled both of their empty glasses. "Okay, okay. So maybe we can try to steer clear from the obvious stuff so we don't make it too easy for us to drink. That okay?"

"Fine," Faith sat up straighter and grinned at the man before her. "Never have I ever shot a gun."

Aiden's eyebrows shot up. "Really? You've never shot a gun?" He then drank his shot and exhaled.

Faith shrugged. "I never exactly needed to."

Whatever comment Aiden looked like he wanted to say he kept it to himself. "Understandable. So my turn," he tapped his finger against his chin. "Never have I ever eaten Hope County's famous bull testicles."

"I don't believe you," the words escaped Faith suddenly. Still, she took her shot and grimaced. "I heard that Fall's End continued with the festival this year. And I know for a fact that you had a hand in it."

Aiden filled their glasses. "I was there. But I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything with meat. Everyone tried to get me to eat one, I even tried getting drunk and convince myself that they were just chicken nuggets, but the thought of it still made me gag."

Faith shook her head. "They're really good if you gave it a chance. You don't know what you're missing."

"No-o-o-o thank you. Anyway it's your turn now."

"Never have I ever been on a date."

"Who's bullshitting now?" Aiden took his shot and shook his head. "Half this county is crushing on you. Even before the Project I can't imagine no one ever took you out, you're beautiful, smart."

The words caught Faith off guard and she felt a heat warm her cheeks, and it wasn't from the alcohol. "Fooling around is different from the whole going to the movies or having a nice dinner. Before the Project I was ostracized, remember?"

"And after? How did you not have a line of men and women eager to sweep you off your feet?"

The Bliss herald took a sudden interest in her shot glass and ran a fingertip along the rim. "There was no time for such things. Plus it must have been daunting when you have the Father as your big brother."

"True enough," Aiden agreed.

They continued their game for a time. At first it was little dumb things they admitted, never cheated on a test (Aiden drank to that one), never watched a movie at a theater (Faith drank), and once they were both drunk they asked far more personal questions (Faith was surprised Aiden drank when she said she never had sex that didn't end in her climaxing). But they had a good time. A few times Faith had to stem herself from laughing too hard lest she become sick.

The only way Faith could tell she should probably start switching to water was when Aiden would escort her to the bathroom that was just down the hall not too far from their location. Even though the cell had a toilet, neither of them used it and would instead use the bathrooms down the hall. Each trip Faith found herself depending on the wall to steady herself more and more.

Despite her hazy drunken mind, she was just barely able to control the ever increasing urge to pull Aiden down for a kiss. It took countless sips of liquor for her to finally admit to herself that she wanted Aiden, she was attracted to him more than just physically. She nearly laughed at the thought that she was in love with him despite the small amount of time she's known him. He was the only person to show her such kindness without demanding anything in return, he was respectful and treated her kindly just like everyone else despite everything she did to hurt him. The more she grew to learn of him the more she wanted to know.

Faith stepped out of the women's restroom and found Aiden standing just outside the door waiting for her. One look at him and Faith could feel it. She loved him. And the thought of it made her want to cry. She was a prisoner, a monster, and he was a deputy sheriff. They would never have a future together, not even as friends.

Of all men Faith had to fall for it was the one that still respected her, didn't take advantage of her drunken state even when she held onto him to steady herself as they made their way back to his cell. When he led her to the cot she couldn't take it anymore and pulled him down with her. His lips were too tempting, she leaned forward to kiss him and immediately felt her chest hurt when he pulled back.

"We're drunk, Faith." He told her. "I won't—we can't."

Faith struggled not to cry. She caught the look of pity Aiden gave her and it angered her. She was so tired of being pitied. Her stomach lurched and she suddenly felt sick. The water Aiden handed her barely kept her from emptying her stomach on the floor. Not wanting to spend the rest of the evening in awkward silence, or for Aiden to leave, Faith played it off as a drunken impulse and just giggled.

"You're no fun," she slurred. It was hard to continue talking to him like her heart wasn't breaking, it was even more difficult to keep her voice from quivering. They spent another unknown time talking again. She was grateful Aiden did most of the talking and she kept him doing so by asking him more about his past.

Many more water bottles later when Faith asked to be taken to the bathroom, she took a little longer and let some tears fall just so she wouldn't explode. Her eyes were still red and puffy even though she washed her face. If Aiden noticed her eyes he kept it to himself, but he continued to look at her sadly sometimes.

 _I'm stupid to feel like this_.

Faith thought to herself. Maybe she had that syndrome, what was it called again? She was a hostage and she was falling in love with her captor. Well, Aiden was obviously not her captor, but still the same concept was similar. Stockholm Syndrome, that's what it was called. She had to have that. Tried to convince herself more like.

Later, the Bliss herald didn't remember falling asleep. She was confused for a moment when she woke up presumably the next morning. Her mouth was incredibly dry and thankfully there were still several unopened water bottles on the floor. As she catered to her thirst she found Aiden snoring softly on the ground right in front of the door again.

She remembered what he admitted the night before, other than his rejection. Her chest bloomed with pain at the memory. Faith froze her feelings and focused on her plan. Aiden said he gave his friends a night off with alcohol as well. With any luck they all would be asleep or nursing hangovers, anything that wasn't guarding the stairs.

The alcohol seemed to be completely out of her system, her vision didn't swim when she stood up and her back and ribs ached at the movement. Aiden was a heavy sleeper, or maybe it was from the alcohol, he didn't stir when she tested the door and found it unlocked. As she thought about it she never saw him lock it from the inside, it was probably why he slept in front of the door in case she tried to do just this, sneak out.

She cracked the door open as much as it could without hitting Aiden and she found that she was able to squeeze out. She peered down the hallway and felt her heart soar when she saw no one guarding the stairs. This was her chance to escape and return to the Father.

Her heart hit against her ribs painfully and her palms began to sweat. She had no idea why she hesitated to continue walking towards the stairway. Despite his rejection, Faith found herself unable to leave Aiden. There was no reason for her to escape since he promised to let her go. She trusted his word.

There was no doubt now, she lost more than just sight of herself, she lost her sanity. She squeezed back into the cell. Her heart jumped into her throat when she noticed Aiden began to stir and his cyan opened.

"Faith?" His voice was thick with sleep.

The Bliss herald quickly thought of an excuse for her position and squirmed. "I needed the bathroom and I tried to wake you but you were knocked out cold."

It was a stupid excuse but a half awake Aiden seemed to believe it. He rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, I'll take you right now."

Faith offered him her hand and helped him climb to his feet. She squirmed again to keep up with the charade.

"You feeling okay? Hungover?" Aiden asked her as he led her down the hall.

"Fine," she replied and walked past him and into the bathroom. The walk helped her become a little more alert and she realized she was sweating and her muscles ached. She needed another dose soon. She washed her face and stepped back outside.

"Sorry," she told him, "I really didn't want to wake you but I couldn't wait any longer."

Aiden offered her that reassuring smile of his. "You never have to apologize for being human, Faith."

They walked back to her cell in silence. When they passed the stairway Faith felt her heart drop to her ankles. There truly was no one standing guard. She willingly gave up her probable only chance to escape. Even though Aiden promised her freedom she still preferred to escape this nightmare now rather than later.

"I'll be back with breakfast," he told her after he locked her back in her cell.

Aiden was barely out of sight when Faith dug under the mattress, her heart beat faster when her hand groped nothing. She stood and lifted the thin mattress and felt like iced water was dumped on her, all of the syringes were gone.

The anxiety that coursed through her system was nearly crippling. She was already feeling nauseated and sweat soaked her shirt and hair. It would be a matter of time before she felt even worse. Combined with the hurt that resulted from Aiden's rejection and the hopelessness of her future, Faith felt like something within her broke beyond repair. Her breaths came out quicker and shorter, she felt lightheaded and wasn't sure if she was about to throw up or pass out when a voice behind her helped ground her anxiety.

"Awwww," it was Tracey, "is the flower girl feeling sad?"

Faith felt her heart beat impossibly even faster. She definitely was going to be sick. Her eyes immediately spotted the familiar syringe in her former friends hand. She must have been at a desperate and feral state because her body moved on its own and she reached for the prize between the bars.

Tracey took a step back so Faith's reach fell short. "Ah, ah," Tracey wiggled a finger. "Now I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And you know what I realized? I've been really nice, too nice, with giving you these," she lifted the syringe. "And you've given me nothing in return. So I'm done being nice. You want more? What do you have to offer in return?"

A cramp had already stabbed Faith in the stomach. She didn't want Aiden to return and find her like this. "What do you want?"

A grin grew on one side of Tracey's mouth. "Only thing of worth you have is information."

Faith found herself nodding. "What do you want? Supplies, weapons?" She knew of a few more stashes.

Tracey scoffed. "Do you know how difficult it is to score drugs nowadays? Supply is low and the demand is higher than ever thanks to you Peggies. And money is useless right now. No, you'll have to offer something much better."

She knew what Tracey implied, but Faith couldn't bring herself to say the words. It was one thing to have traitorous thoughts, it was another to physically defy the Father. Yes she was desperate for another dose to keep the painful withdrawal symptoms at bay, but she survived her drug withdrawal once before and she could do it again. Albeit last time the Father helped ease her symptoms with scopolamine.

Tracey glanced in the direction of the stairway before she looked back at Faith. "Seven years apart and you're still very much the same, Rachel."

Faith felt anger flush in her veins but the cramp was becoming stronger and she couldn't straighten herself from hunching over to ease the pain. Her mouth watered with nausea.

"I can just _tell_ when you're head over heels with someone. I've seen the way you look at Aiden," she shook her head and scoffed again. "And you know the dumb thing about it all? I've seen the dopey way he gets when he stares off into space after you both spend time together. Sometimes he glances up here and he gets this sad look on his face."

Was she implying what she thought? Faith nearly denied it, he rejected her last night after all.

"You tell me what I want to know and I'll throw in a little something extra. I'll tell Aiden and the sheriff that you willingly told me where to find the Father. That's gotta score some brownie points for you, right? Maybe they'll go a little easier on your sentence or somethin'." A smile grew on Tracey's face. "You won't have to die in a prison. The rook and the sheriff could probably help place you somewhere that no one knows who you are and what you did." She wiggled the syringe in front of the bars, but kept pulling it back each time Faith reached for it. "And all you gotta do is tell me where to find Joseph Seed."

"Okay, okay" Faith relented. She wiped some sweat out of her eyes. The fear of being cast out by the Father was stronger than the fear of death he could bestow to her. But she was in a lose-lose situation. "To find the Father you need to look where it all began." She yelped and stepped back when Tracey slapped the bars.

"Lying won't save you, Rachel! We checked his stupid church and it was abandoned."

Faith shook her head. "He has a bunker underneath it. You'll find the trapdoor for it under the podium."

Tracey's smile grew until she showed teeth. She tossed the syringe into the cell. Faith quickly reached for it. She didn't care about ensuring her vein was ready for the needle, she just needed the symptoms to go away and feel better for betraying the Father. She stabbed the needle into her inner elbow and pressed the plunger all the way in.

When she looked back Tracey was already gone. Afraid of what would become of her now, Faith leaned against a wall and curled up into a ball. Aiden returned some time later with food in hand, but she could barely eat it. She dodged his questions if she was all right. She was surprised that Tracey didn't tell him of the information she just confessed.

"Tracey? She was here?" Aiden asked.

The woman nodded. "You win," she admitted before she gave him the same information she told Tracey.

"You're serious?" Aiden asked, his eyes wide. "He was there this whole time? Literally under our noses to boot." He was suddenly leaning forward and his warm hands were on her shoulders. "Thank you, Faith. We can finally end this."

He left his breakfast half eaten on his chair and stepped out of the cell. "I'm sorry to leave, but there's some things I'll need to do before we set out."

Fear filled her. "We?"

"I can't leave you here unprotected, I'll need all of my friends. We'll have to pick up Jess too, I made a promise to her and I can't confront Joseph without her."

He never had the chance to walk away before a sudden boom erupted that threatened to knock the wall Faith leaned against toppling over her. Her vision blackened for a second and she couldn't hear anything save for a constant ringing. Her sense of smell felt delayed, it took another moment before she smelled smoke. There was a curious breeze that brushed against her back. When she looked behind her she saw that the wall was cracked with a few gaping holes. Not long after she could hear the booming shots of guns firing both from a distance and really close by.

The jail was under attack. She hadn't realized someone grabbed her and pulled her away from her cell.

"We have to go _now_ ," Aiden shouted.

* * *

A/N: Didn't expect to have the entire chapter through Faith's POV. But we will return to Aiden in the next one!


	23. Truth

Ambivalence

Chapter 23: Truth

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

The biggest mistake the sinner made was leaving him alive.

When he regained consciousness he found the bloodbath that the sinner left behind. Initially he felt horror and grief as he passed each body of his brothers and sisters. Despite being the youngest of the group, everyone accepted him, treated him as an equal.

All too soon his pupils dilated when he realized he hadn't come across _her_ body among the mass of still bleeding bodies. The thought to search for any survivors was an afterthought, he quickly scanned every body for _her_.

When he failed to locate Faith he could only assume the sinner had taken her.

He knew the sinner should have been killed or beaten so he couldn't escape, couldn't lift a hand to hurt her again. But Faith ordered for no harm to come to him.

When the Father first came into Hope County and founded the Project at Edens Gate he wasn't interested in his words about the Great Collapse. At ten years old at the time he didn't understand anything that was preached about the greed of humanity and God's desire to cleanse the world of it. But his overbearing and deeply religious mother believed every word of it and he had no choice but to just nod his head and play the good obedient boy.

He had never been a fighter. He wasn't athletic like the other boys, didn't have any interest in sports or playing war. Life was more enjoyable when read about in books. So it was no surprise that he failed to be the mindless soldier that was expected of him. But his mother was insistent that he be a crusader, a soldier in God's name that she could be proud of. So for years he endured the training only to fail and accidentally severely injured one of his fellow brothers during a live training exercise.

If it weren't for _her_ to recognize his gentle hands to work with the Bliss flowers instead of a weapon he didn't know what would have become of him.

Faith was his candle in the darkness. One look at him and she had embraced him. She somehow knew of his internal struggles with his mother and the kids at school that made his life a nightmare. When he first saw her he was smitten by her beauty, but her physical beauty went deeper than that. Ever gentle and always with a smile on her face she recognized the things he was good at, his thirst for knowledge and desire for praise.

He was good with his hands, but not for violence. She told him his hands were meant to create life, not to take it. He was happy to ensure the Bliss flowers bloomed to be as beautiful and pure as Faith.

It took half a day for him to find more of his brothers and sisters and it took even longer for him to convince them that Faith was still alive. It was a disappointment that he was dismissed because of his age. But he wasn't completely surprised by it, after all that was one of the many things he learned from Faith.

People dismissed children.

He wasn't a child anymore, however, unfortunately he looked younger than his seventeen years of age. Despite his youth, he helped Faith grow Bliss flowers in soil that not even weeds would grow. Angels were groomed to follow his commands.

His insistence on Faith's survival eventually caught the Father's attention. He still didn't have the greatest respect for the man as his brothers and sisters had, he didn't see him as a holy man as his mother had. His loyalty would always be to Faith first.

But after meeting the man he came to understand why he was loved as much as he was. There was something warm and comforting about the Father, his smile and soothing voice eased his guilt of failure to protect Faith, the Father's sister. Then the Father offered him an opportunity to redeem himself. He could penetrate the resistance and become the Father's eyes and ears from within.

And so the Father orchestrated to have the Chosen focus their remaining resources to focus on the Henbane River region of Hope County and force the resistance to seek refuge at their headquarters, the county jail.

People dismiss children and so they never suspected him. It was easy to blend in as another orphan. The resistance wasn't as organized as the Project, they took people's names mentally and were so easily trusting. The resistance were quick to dismiss him from fighting if it could be helped. And it was easy to blend in with the numerous people that sought refuge at the jail.

The infirmary was swamped and needed any available hands so he started working there where he hoped to find Faith. But she was never among the numerous injured people despite the medical attention she desperately needed. When she showed up with the sinner she was hurt even though she worked so hard to appear like she was fine. But he could see the pain in her eyes, the fever in her flushed cheeks, and how she could barely move despite her exhaustion. Through it all she still had a smile on her face when she asked him to keep an eye on the sinner and to keep him dosed in Bliss.

When he failed to find her in the infirmary he volunteered to work in the kitchens. Everyone had to eat and the mess hall was the best place to gather information. No one seemed to know she was alive, however. It infuriated him to witness people celebrating her death like it was a holiday.

Eventually he recognized the sinner himself.

It had taken all of his willpower not to poison him. Another thing he learned from Faith was that sometimes one had to remain passive, be a friend to your enemy until the perfect opportunity to take action arose.

So he continued to play the obedient boy. People dismissed him as he listened to their conversations and observed their habits. It wasn't long before he noticed how often the sinner would take enough food to feed two people, and with the third floor being off limits it was obvious Faith was not only still alive but she was in the jail as well. The other people had their suspicions that a "Peggie" prisoner was held up there, but they just had no clue whom it was actually.

More of his patience and self-control was tested. He wanted nothing more but to charge up onto the top floor and free her, but he had to wait to be able to get his information out.

There was one time, however, that he slipped up ever so slightly. There was the hooded woman that was close to the sinner. Even though Faith's name was never mentioned, he understood enough from the things she would say that the woman had hurt Faith on a few occasions. Angered, and well aware from her eating habits that she avoided meat, he slipped some into one of her meals once. It was a pitiful attempt at revenge, but he felt a little better when she returned for more food that night, anger displayed on her face. It was nothing to what she deserved for hurting Faith.

Then there was that black woman that was in charge of the jail. He had been lucky to be fetching food from the storage when she ran right passed him and to the small office the sheriff claimed for himself. No one paid him any mind when he snuck closer to the office and overheard the woman's news, she knew where to find the Father. That's when he knew he had to activate the signal.

Before he showed up to the jail he was given explosives with strict orders on when to use them. That time was now. Once the explosives went off it would be the signal for his brothers and sisters to attack and for him to rescue Faith.

Or die trying.

* * *

Faith was still feeling a little woozy from the explosion. Her ears had still been ringing until she felt someone tug her away from the crumbling wall and out of her cell, it was like her ears popped and she was suddenly able to hear people shouting and gunfire both at a distance and nearby. The grip on her arm hurt, she turned and came face to face with a very worried looking Aiden.

"We have to go, _now_ ," he told her.

Faith nearly followed him, but her sense of survival kicked in and she hesitated. Despite the chaos in the jail she was worried she'd be recognized. "Wait," she told him before she quickly stepped back into her cell and retrieved the hoodie she garnered every time she left her cell and put the hood up to cover her hair. She was ready to leave until Aiden thrusted shoes in her direction. Once her feet were covered she followed Aiden only to frown when he handcuffed her right wrist. She expected the cuffs, but she did not expect Aiden to handcuff her to his left wrist.

"Cover the cuff and chain with your sleeve. We can make it look like we're holding hands," he explained.

The gunfire became louder before Faith could say anything and Aiden pulled her along with him towards the stairs. It was then that she realized adrenaline surged through her veins and numbed her aches and soreness. It wasn't so difficult to keep up with Aiden's fast stride.

The moment they stepped into the hallway that led to the stairs Aiden's friends were quick to show up, all of them armed and guarding the only access to the third floor.

"As much as I don't want to keep her," Aiden nodded towards Faith, "here we need to help defend this place." He faced an older woman. "Adelaide, try to make your way to Tulip, we'll need the firepower from the air. Hurk, go with her and keep an eye out for any Chosen."

Adelaide looked towards a heavy set man. "I have some ammo in Tulip for your toy."

Whatever Hurk said while he and the older woman left was drowned out by the gunfire and Aiden's commands.

"Grace, get to the roof and do your thing."

The last remaining woman looked conflicted with her order. "We don't have the others with us, are you sure you don't need me to watch your back? It looks like you can't use much other than that pistol."

Aiden nodded. "We'll be fine. We'll try to sneak through the back when the opportunity appears and lay low until things settle down."

The veteran needed no further assurance and left, leaving Faith alone with Aiden. When they finally moved and descended the stairs Faith felt her heart pump strongly in her throat, she was worried people would glance at her and immediately point out her existence.

Thankfully everyone was so focused on their own survival to do so much as look at her twice. Then it was like Aiden became someone different. His warm smile and goofy jokes were gone and replaced with a commanding aura. They found the sheriff quickly and received an update on what had transpired, an explosion on the side of the building and the jail's outside wall. Faith found it interesting that even the sheriff took on more of a supportive role as Aiden issued more commands, where to take the children and injured, where to place people to defend and such.

They were making their way towards the back exit of the building, through the kitchen, when Aiden spotted a teenaged boy and instructed him to regroup with the other children and injured people that couldn't take up arms.

"I want to help defend this place," the kid argued. Faith noticed he held a handgun. When she glanced at his face she couldn't shake off the feeling that she met him somewhere before.

"Tell you what," Aiden replied. "You can help defend those that can't fight. Can I trust you with that? There's nothing more important than defending those that can't fight for themselves."

The kid still looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment he nodded and walked passed them. When he glanced at her Faith kept her gaze down and hoped her hood would conceal most of her face.

Outside in the back of the building the gunfire became louder, Faith nearly wanted to cover her ears from the painful noise. Aiden made a quick scan of their surroundings but the area was completely deserted. Satisfied that they were alone, he continued to lead her towards the wall.

"I have a rope ladder stashed. We'll climb down the wall and see if we can go around."

"What will happen then?" Faith asked.

"I have an ATV hidden in the trees, I'll take you back to the bunker from before and I'll return here to help."

Worry squeezed at Faith's chest. What if Aiden didn't survive and she couldn't find a way to escape the bunker?

As always, Aiden seemed to have known what she was thinking. "I'll call for a friend to retrieve you and take you someplace safe. He's helped people that abandoned the cult so I trust him to treat you no different than me. He's a good man."

That did nothing to ease Faith's worry. Not that her feelings mattered, she could do nothing but follow along with the junior deputy.

Still paranoid about someone passing by and recognizing her, Faith kept an eye out while Aiden searched through empty crates that were stashed in the corner of the yard. She almost dismissed it at first, but there was definitely movement that she caught in her peripheral vision. It was the kid they ran into in the kitchen, he followed them and tried to stay hidden behind cover. He was close enough for Faith to immediately see that his gun was aimed at Aiden, not her as she would have expected.

She didn't even have time to scream a warning to Aiden. Her body just moved and she violently pulled on the handcuff to pull Aiden away.

Everything happened so fast, she mustered all of her strength in pulling Aiden that she lost her balance. There was the ever louder bang of the gun firing and then Aiden's weight was on top of her. With how they were handcuffed together, Aiden landed on his side, his shoulder and elbow pressed painfully into Faith's chest and stomach. The pain was so great she felt light headed and couldn't breathe.

There was another bang, one that nearly had her ears ringing again. Faith opened her eyes and saw that Aiden was in a somewhat awkward position, he was on his knees and had to twist his torso so he could aim his handgun at the kid.

She couldn't see if Aiden killed the boy from her position on the ground and she was too focused trying to breathe, Aiden's body weight squashing her between himself and the hard concrete floor expelled the oxygen from her lungs.

Aiden cursed and was suddenly pulling her upwards into a sitting position. He allowed her a few moments to get her breathing under control but he continued to look between her and the kid. Then she noticed a trail of blood that covered his ear and the side of his neck.

"You're hurt," she managed to cough out. Worry stabbed at her gut, was she too slow to pull him out of the bullet's path?

The junior deputy looked as if he had just realized he was bleeding. He pressed two fingers to the side of his head and winced. Then he looked towards the shooter again. "No, I'm—I'm fine. The bullet just grazed me." He looked back at her. "Are you okay?"

"You're heavy," was all that Faith could mutter. Then something clicked when she thought of the kid that shot at them. The pain was forgotten and she quickly climbed to her unsteady legs.

They walked together towards the kid. Aiden kept himself in front of her, his pistol aimed at the unmoving body on the floor.

Finally, Faith realized where she had seen the teenager. Dread swelled in her chest and she was suddenly running towards the kid, she shoved Aiden's arms away when he barred her from getting too close.

"I know him!" She cried. His arms lowered and Faith practically dragged him as she fell onto her knees and checked the boy for a heartbeat, but when she was inches away from him she knew not to expect one. He was shot in the chest, a puddle of blood had already spread on the concrete, his chest didn't move, and his unblinking eyes stared at the sky.

* * *

"Who was he?" Aiden just wanted to think about who the teenaged boy was, he didn't want to think that he just killed a kid. It wasn't his first time having to use his gun against a young person, a child, since he's set foot in Hope County. He still hadn't gotten used to it and he was still glad to feel the guilt, to him it meant he had some small shred of humanity left.

Faith was silent as she fought against a sob, the tears that streamed down her cheeks reflected in the sun's light. With her free hand she shut his eyelids and then began to stroke his hair back. Her neck moved as she swallowed before she spoke.

"He was a good kid. He reminded me of…all he ever wanted was to be useful. I took him in." She paused and looked up at him. "He was there, before you killed everyone and brought me here."

Aiden remembered now. To escape his captivity he knocked out a kid Peggie. He had completely forgotten about him due to having to shoot his way out. More questions flooded in his head. Did the kid tell Joseph Seed that Faith was still alive? It would make a lot of things make sense, the Chosen forcing the entire region into the jail, the trap that triggered his conditioning when he went scouting for supplies, the explosion and attack that was occurring right now.

He squatted down so he wouldn't have to be pulling on Faith's arm that was handcuffed to his own and so he could better look at her. "Faith," he called her gently. "I'm sorry…if I had known my target I would've shot to injure. But...it all happened so fast."

The younger woman turned to look at him, her eyes filled with fury and sorrow. A moment passed and her expression softened, she looked back to the kid and nodded.

"I know," she whispered.

"What was his name?"

Faith shook her head. "What does it matter?"

"It matters to me," Aiden replied. "I don't want him to be just another nameless face that will haunt me for the rest of my life. He was important to you."

"Jayce," Faith answered. "His name was Jayce." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I told him he wasn't meant to take life. And now look where it got him."

"He wanted to rescue you," Aiden explained. "You were obviously important to him."

The continued gunfire, and now an even louder sound of a helicopter in the air, specifically Tulip, helped pull Aiden back to the situation at hand. "Listen, Faith, I know you don't want to leave him, but we need to leave."

She was silent for a long moment, Aiden thought he would have to carry her away, but eventually she stood up. He wanted to apologize again, but he knew it would do nothing to make her feel better.

They returned to the corner where Aiden searched for the rope ladder again.

"Aiden!" Faith called.

All too soon there were three Peggies climbing over the wall and dropping down into the yard. Aiden cursed and abandoned his search again. He ushered Faith to some cover. Luck was on their side, the Peggies hadn't noticed them. Aiden was able to shoot one dead and injure a second, but the third was quick to turn and return fire. With an automatic weapon, he and Faith had to remain ducked behind cover until the Peggie ran dry and had to reload.

Aiden cursed again when he tried to shoot the third Peggie, but he kept missing his shots and his gun ran dry.

"Here!"

Faith handed him the pistol that Jayce had. Aiden was dumbstruck that he hadn't thought to take his weapon. He was further dumbfounded that Faith had the weapon and didn't use it against him _and_ was now giving it to him. He could think about why she was helping him against her own people later, survival took priority.

A shot went wide of his face when he peeked over the metal barrel he hid behind. He heard Faith gasp and inch closer to him. Aiden cursed again and realized the missed shot came from the man he injured, but the man was out in the open and an easy target. Aiden shot him in the chest with one bullet. But he had to immediately duck down again from the remaining Peggie.

When his shots ceased Aiden aimed and waited for him to peek out. He noticed a faint glimpse of a red laser sight and a grin grew on his face. Soon the unmistakable loud clap of a sniper rifle rang in his ears and the final Peggie dropped with a spray of blood.

Aiden looked towards the roof of the jail and could barely spot the small figure of Grace. He could only thank all that was holy that Grace heard the gunfire and thought to check the back. He was about to run towards the Peggies to take their guns, but he could hear that the gunfire dramatically slowed down and he noticed that Grace was waving her arms at him.

"What's wrong?" He heard Faith ask. She was so close to him he could feel her body trembling.

"I think it's over," Aiden answered. He picked up a weapon and spare ammo anyway in case there were any stragglers that decided to go into the back. His cut was still bleeding and some blood was getting into his eye. He tried to clean his face with his sleeve.

Soon the gunfire stopped completely. "I think it's safe," Aiden gently pulled Faith towards the building. He still felt a little apprehensive about exposing her to the Cougars, but considering the attack he figured everyone would be too distracted to take a hard look at her. Plus with the still healing bruises on her face she wasn't easy to recognize.

Faith pulled on her hood so it covered most of her face and she kept her gaze downwards. Aiden spent a moment looking at her. She had a similar figure to Jess, same length hair and color. He made a mental note to find another green hoodie, Faith could pass for Jess while she was gone. The huntress wasn't social either, most people kept their distance from her. Hiding Faith in plain sight just might work.

It didn't take long to find the sheriff, he appeared unhurt and was eager to have a meeting. Aiden squashed the urge to check on anything that needed doing, he would feel better once he got Faith out of the public. And he still wanted to have a small chat with her before the meeting with the sheriff and the others, no doubt they had a lot to discuss now that they know where to find Joseph.

Once they were on the third floor Aiden took Faith to her cell and unlocked the handcuffs. There was so much he wanted to ask her he didn't know where to start and was quiet for a moment.

"Faith," he paused again. He rubbed at his still tinder wound, at least it seemed to have stopped bleeding. "Thank you for saving me. But you didn't have to, if Jayce killed me you could have escaped with him. So why did you do it?"

She looked conflicted on what to say. After a moment she looked at him, "you saved my life too when you didn't have to."

Even if she was just returning the favor, it was something that Aiden felt was very un-Peggie like. "Then why did you give me Jayce's gun when I ran out of ammo? I had my back to you and you could have used it and escaped. You repaid the favor more than once."

Since they returned to her cell Faith sat on the cot and was now squirming under his curious gaze.

"Faith, look at me," he told her.

Once she lifted her eyes to him, he found himself smiling. He dropped to his knees so he was more at eye level with her and rested a hand on her shoulder. She didn't stiffen at the contact.

"Thank you, Faith. It couldn't have been easy to act against your own people, and whatever your reasons for doing so, please know that I deeply appreciate it."

Her eyes saddened and she looked away, but gave a nod. He grimaced as a wave of pain pulled at the side of his head, he hoped he wouldn't need stitches.

"Here."

Faith held the first aid kit towards him. Aiden took it with a growing smile and opened it. "Err, you wouldn't happen to have a mirror, would you?"

"Let me," Faith's small fingers pushed his own away from the first aid kit and rummaged through it. Aiden sat on his knees patiently while she worked on cleaning the wound. She used the butterfly bandages to keep his wound closed.

"Thank you, again."

She shook her head. "This is nothing compared to everything you've done for me, after all that I did to hurt you and the people here."

"All the more reason why I'm surprised you've helped me thus far," he responded.

He quickly noticed how her eyes softened as she looked at him. Was she truly acting out on her feelings when they were drunk when she tried to kiss him? He had dismissed it on the alcohol. Sorrow began to bloom in his chest.

Faith surprised him more and more each time they interacted, she had such a kindness to her despite her rough upbringing. She was resourceful and intelligent. With all that they had in common and they just had that chemistry together he would be lying if he tried to deny he was developing any type of feelings for her. But it was a line he couldn't, and wouldn't cross. Their situation was worse than Romeo and Juliet, he was a deputy and she was a criminal, the things she did would keep her in jail for a long time. They could have no future together. And there was that ever small bit of doubt in the back of his mind that she could be faking a lot of things just to get him to like her so she could take advantage of it later.

But now that he thought about everything she did earlier she had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of and escape. She could have killed or injured him, escaped to Joseph and warn him about the resistance that would be coming for him soon. Yet she remained with him, saved him multiple times.

He suddenly had the urge to embrace her from all of the gratitude he was feeling, but he kept himself where he sat. It wouldn't be fair to lead her on.

Their solitude was quickly interrupted when people began to file in, the sheriff, Tracey, and his friends. Aiden stood and locked the jail cell behind him. With the jail trying to recover from the attack he hoped no wandering people would go onto the third floor.

He met with the others in the double cell they used as a meeting room. They went over the usual details after an attack, what structures were damaged and how many casualties and injured they had. Aiden was glad to see that none of the people in the cell appeared injured.

"What I want to know," the sheriff said, "was how did the Peggies manage to set explosives on the building? The explosion came from within the walls."

Aiden took a deep breath and explained everything that he knew about Jayce, how Aiden had to knock him out to escape with Faith before they arrived at the jail, and the likelihood that he told Joseph that Faith was still alive. It made sense that he would be responsible for triggering the attack earlier. "In the end he was still just a kid. Let's not tell anyone else who he really was, he at least deserves a proper burial instead of just being…left wherever we dump the Peggie's bodies."

"So what's next?" Grace asked.

Tracey was quick to announce the hidden location of the Father.

The sheriff spoke next, "we get in contact with Fall's End and the Whitetail Militia, tell them to meet us at Joseph's church. The militia will go in from the North while Fall's End and us go through the South. We'll see if we can get some boats so we can have people circle the island in case he has some hidden boat as an escape."

"There weren't a lot of Peggies that attacked us," Tracey pointed out. "That could mean Joseph is keeping most of his people with him to defend or their numbers are a lot less than what we thought."

"Or it could be both," Grace pointed out. "We shouldn't delay further on moving forward, not when Joseph can use this opportunity to hide elsewhere."

"Agreed," the sheriff announced. "I'll get in touch with the militia and Fall's End now, we'll all get ready to move out."

"I agree with moving out now," Aiden said suddenly. "But I'd appreciate if I'm given time to go get Jess and Sharky. They didn't go too far and we'll definitely need them."

"We can get them faster if we take Tulip," Adelaide suggested. "Though we won't all fit on the trip back."

"If you can take me to them we'll find another ride to go to Joseph's church. It should be enough so we can catch up."

"Do you at least know where they are? Can't you radio them to meet us?" The sheriff asked.

Aiden shook his head. "They don't have a radio, but I do know where they'll be."

"Hurry, rook," the sheriff said. "If we have to wait too long we may just have to move in on Joseph without you."

The junior deputy nodded. "And what about Faith? I can't leave her here." He wasn't comfortable leaving her with sheriff and the others. Not when he still wasn't sure which of his friends, besides Jess, hurt Faith behind his back. He looked to Adelaide. "Will you be able to take both me and Faith? I know a place that I can leave her while we take care of Joseph."

"It'll be a tight fit, but we can manage," the older woman told him.

"Okay, so then we have a plan," the sheriff declared. "To catch up with us I'd leave now, rook." He nodded towards him. "You okay there?"

"Yeah," Aiden touched his bandaged wound. "Just a scratch."

They all remained a little longer as they discussed the traveling aspect of their plan, so Aiden decided to leave to fetch Faith. She was still seated on the cot, but there was a wrinkle between her brows, she looked bothered about something.

"What's wrong?" He thought maybe she was worried about being left alone again. Before he could reassure her again she spoke.

"You need to stop them," she said cryptically.

"What? Stop who from doing what?"

"Stop everyone from going to the Father. There's…something they don't know. The Father's last resort should he ever be cornered."

"What is it?"

Faith looked at something behind him. He looked as well and saw that everyone was filing out of the meeting room.

"You _need_ to stop them. I can…explain everything to everyone."

Left with no other choice but to abandon his curiosity, Aiden left and stopped everyone and ushered them back into the meeting room. Then he fetched Faith. She looked terrified as she walked towards them and stayed just behind him as if he could protect her from their stares.

"What does the flower girl have to say now? Beg us to leave the Father alone?"

Faith shook her head. "It isn't safe to confront him. Not yet."

"Why the hell not?" Tracey asked, rage evident in her voice. She took a step towards Faith, but Aiden stepped in front of her and lifted a palm to the angry woman.

He looked back to Faith and nodded. "Why isn't it safe?"

"The Father will have a trap, I don't know _where_ exactly," she paused again, "and I'm telling the truth! But he'll seep Bliss to everyone somehow and he'll…manipulate everyone."

Everyone frowned. The sheriff was the first to speak up, "you mean like turn us into Angels?"

Faith shook her head. "For years we've been putting Bliss into the water supply."

"We have control of it now," Tracey announced.

"Then we were putting a higher concentration of the Bliss into the water to speed things up. But before that…even now we have someone putting a lower concentration of Bliss. Anyone that's been living in the county has been exposed to it, whether it's from drinking the tap water to bathing. Washing with the water is a much slower process than drinking the local water because the Bliss isn't ingested. A short term exposure to it won't be harmful, like for Aiden. But for everyone else…"

"Wait, so what happens if we show up to confront the Father?" Grace asked.

"It'll take a small amount of Bliss to affect everyone. The music and speeches from the Father on the radio and television? Think of it as a slow process to hypnotize everyone. With the right amount of Bliss everyone will be one step away from being an Angel, the Father will have complete control of everyone."

She looked at Aiden. "You, and possibly the sheriff and the other deputies won't be affected. But the Father will use everyone against you."

"So _that's_ why you refused to drink the local water!" Tracey exclaimed. "I knew there was a reason why."

Aiden was between Faith and Tracey again. "So now we know the truth." He stepped next to Faith. "Thank you for telling us. But what does this mean now? How can we confront him?"

Faith bit her lower lip. "I've…before you and the marshal showed up I was working on a…cure of sorts. Right now it can only ward off the effects of the Bliss for a short time, but it might be something that can keep everyone from being controlled by the Father."

For the unknown time that day, Aiden was at a loss of what to say. For Faith to be showing this amount of defiance against the Father and the cult to help _him_ , no to help the resistance, it warmed him to his core.

Faith looked at everyone, her back a little more straight. "I know you all want to confront him now, but doing so isn't safe. It'll be one big trap for Aiden. But...the Father won't go anywhere. He knows his island best, it's _his_ domain. He'll wait for us, so even if we take a little longer to show up he won't expect everyone to be immune."

"How can we trust you?" Tracey was the first to express doubt. "Why help us now?"

Faith looked at Aiden before she looked at her former friend. "I'm helping Aiden. And if helping him means I help all of you then so be it."

"Still, how can we trust you won't be turning us into Angel's instead or something?" Grace asked.

"You can prove it, right?" Aiden asked. Faith looked back at him and nodded. "We can get you the materials you need to make your 'cure' and we can test it out. Give us a list of what you need and we'll get to work."

He looked back at everyone in the room. Just when it looked like everything was finally going to come to an end there was yet another obstacle in their way. "Looks like we have a new plan then."

* * *

A/N: So the whole drinking water thing in the story is my attempt to make some sense into why all the resistance members were under the Father's influence when you confront him for his boss fight, minus the sheriff and deputies. And the temporary "cure" is my attempt at making sense of how Faith was able to use the highest concentration form of the Bliss without being affected by it herself (in the cutscenes when you encounter her you see her blowing powdered Bliss towards the junior deputy, plus the many promotional pictures that display her blowing the powdered Bliss from her hand).

I apologize for not responding to some reviews from the previous chapter. I usually respond when I release a new chapter but I am currently pressed for time and wanted to get this chapter out.


	24. Savior

Ambivalence

Chapter 24: Savior

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

When everyone went about their duties, including Aiden, Faith had nothing to do in her cell but sit and think. Once the adrenaline from the fear of the gunfight faded, the realization that she chose to aid the resistance over the Father weighed heavily on her conscious. Well, she chose to help Aiden which only benefited the resistance. Still, the guilt of her traitorous actions quickly ate at her thoughts.

It was one thing for her to tell Tracey where to find the Father, she blamed it on her own weakness and the desperation for another dose. She groaned at the thought, to sell out the Father for drugs was unthinkable and pathetic on her end. Then the fear kicked in, there was no way she would be forgiven. But for her to continue helping Aiden? She blamed it on the gratitude she continued to feel for him when he kept helping her, he shielded her from Tracey when she took a step towards her after she admitted that the Bliss had been in the county's water supply for years.

No one had ever protected her like that. It made her feel happy and strangely she felt like she was wanted. Though she knew the latter was only wishful thinking, Aiden's rejection all too frequently ran through Faith's head.

Now that she had a moment to calm down she had nothing to do but think of her decisions. She couldn't say she regretted them, but she couldn't fight the guilt that came with it. She couldn't help but think that no matter which side she chose she'd be unhappy. If she stayed with the Father he would either forgive her, but at the expense of losing most of their family and the losing battle against the resistance. But if he didn't forgive her she'd either be cast out or…

 _If a father could murder his own child, his own flesh and blood, what could he do to a sister in name only?_

On the other hand, siding with the resistance she would continue to live like she was now, alone and rotting in some jail for probably the rest of her life. Or she would be killed once she outlived her usefulness, which was rapidly approaching, maybe once she created the solution to ward off the effects of the Bliss.

"Chin up, flower girl."

Faith jolted from Tracey's sudden voice.

 _Ignore her_ , Faith thought. Whatever her former friend had to say to her it couldn't possibly make her feel any worse. Unless she meant to taunt her with more drugs, she was already sweating and her muscles were aching something fierce which didn't help with the pain in her ribs and back. Faith suppressed a groan as she watched Tracey step into her cell. She was really not in the mood to deal with whatever torment would be inflected on her next.

But the usual angry expression Tracey typically wore was missing, instead she almost looked relaxed with a hint of curiosity in her dark eyes.

"So I have to ask, why the sudden change of heart? Or are you just trying to save your own skin now that you see we're winning this war?"

Faith remained silent and hoped Tracey would just leave. She didn't seem to take the hint or just didn't care, most likely the latter.

"Are you really doing all this for the rook? Is he that special to you?"

A light sigh escaped the Bliss herald. "Why do you care? I'm finally helping your people, it's what you wanted wasn't it? Why you did all those things to me so I could crack and tell you what you wanted to know."

Something flashed in Tracey's expression which almost looked like guilt. As quickly as it appeared it vanished and was replaced with a frown. "Like I said, I'm curious. I know you aren't helping us out of the goodness of your heart. Everything you do is for a reason, you have something to gain out of it somehow."

Faith found herself shaking her head. An argument was another thing she was most definitely not in the mood for. She'd honestly would rather just take a deep breathing exercise Aiden showed her than have to argue with Tracey. Even when they were still friends she loathed the arguments they got into, especially when sober.

With a heavy sigh, Faith ultimately decided to humor her former friend's questions. They would at least offer some sort of small distraction from her thoughts. Still, her back burned as a reminder of the last time she spent time alone with Tracey. She unconsciously moved which aggravated a particular long welt on her back and she winced. There was that quick flash of guilt again which nearly caused Faith to laugh, she blamed the sight on her withdrawal, Tracey never felt guilty about anything.

"I'm helping Aiden because he saved my life," Faith explained. But the simple answer didn't feel like enough, it didn't cover everything that she felt grateful to Aiden for. "He could have easily left me to die, but he _chose_ to save me. He was," she paused to swallow the lump that formed in her throat, "he was always kind and gentle and patient with me. He was…forgiving in a way, despite everything that I did to him and the people here."

Tracey rolled her eyes and scoffed. "The rook is like the sheriff, through all this hell he remains professional and stays in his deputy mode. He's treating you no different than how he would treat any other prisoner."

Faith felt her chest sink down to her ankles. She was all too aware that Aiden was only being respectful to her as his prisoner, but thinking about it and now having someone repeat it to her still hurt. It was stupid for her to have any feelings for him, she knew, but she couldn't help it. No one ever treated her the way he has and they got along so well despite their opposing sides in this conflict.

A cramp pushed at her stomach, Faith welcomed the pain as a distraction from her depressing thoughts. Sweat collected on her brow and she wiped at it with the back of her hand.

"I was the one that told him to kill you, you know?" Tracey said.

A wave of shock hit Faith that felt like she had been slapped and was dumped in ice cold water. She shouldn't have been surprised yet she was. Friendships were more easily broken than establishing them, especially with Tracey's tough love. But they were so close once, Tracey was more of a sister to her than a friend. Even during their years apart she missed her terribly.

Did she truly change so much, become so monstrous, that her own best friend saw no other alternative but to see her dead?

Moments passed in silence, Faith wanted to so desperately break it, but she didn't have anything to say.

Tracey continued to speak, but her face looked relaxed. "Guess even from the beginning he had a soft spot for you since he spared you. Though with how things are turning out his judgement call may have been the better option. Who knows how it would turn out when we all confronted the Father."

Faith was still processing the thought of Tracey ordering her death. Then she remembered, she became close to Hope County's mayor. Tracey said he was murdered by the marshal. So she was to blame, and overridden with grief Tracey must've ordered Aiden to kill her. She understood her former friend's reason, but it still hurt. It hurt more to think that this was how their friendship resulted.

"What are you doing?"

Faith paused and realized she had been digging her nails into her arms. "I'm sorry," she muttered. She hadn't expected to say the words, but she did anyway. And she kept going. "It won't…fix us, it won't take away the pain I caused, it won't…bring him back."

"Stop," Tracey warned.

The Bliss herald couldn't bring herself to look at her former friend's face, she kept her head bowed down. More sweat collected on her forehead and she swiped her arm on it. The cramps were getting worse that made her bend forward until she rested her elbows on her knees. Despite her back crying out in protest of her siting position, Faith felt herself missing the friendship and familiarity with Tracey. It was easier to distance herself from their friendship amongst company of the Father and the rest of the project members. But to be within the same room with her former friend and have such animosity between them both it made her miss Tracey all the more.

"If I hadn't…if I left the Project _with_ you," Faith paused to think on how to ask the question clearly. Thankfully Tracey watched her patiently. "Do you think things would still be like this?"

The hooded woman was quiet for a moment, probably deep in thought. "No," she answered eventually. "Without you they wouldn't have the Bliss. They'd still be a threat, after all their numbers were mostly built _before_ the Bliss, but they wouldn't have a lot of their advantages that they do now. We can only imagine how different things would be."

Faith licked her dry lips. "You've told me so many times I'm too…nice for my own good. If I weren't on _their_ side do you think I would have survived this far?"

Tracey smirked and just like that the anger and tension between them evaporated. Faith felt like they were back to where they were seven years ago before the Project. "Of course you would. I'd have your back."

A mixture of emotions twisted in Faith's chest, regret, happiness, sorrow. The corner of her lips pulled upwards ever so slightly. "You've always looked out for me."

"Stop," Tracey warned, her tone sounded hard. "You won't tug at my heartstrings, I've learned my lesson not to trust you."

And just like that the tension and animosity was back between them.

 _It's my fault_ , Faith thought. She became so lost in enjoying the attention and special attention the Father and his followers gave her that she sacrificed her only friend.

Missing their friendship even more strongly, Faith fought against the tears and wanted to make herself as little as possible. She made no attempt to muffle her pained groans as she struggled to pull her legs up onto the cot and hugged her knees against her chest. She turned so she could rest her shoulder against the wall and gave her back towards Tracey, then she rested her cheek on top of her knees so she faced the wall.

"My parents were right," Faith whispered to herself, but still loud enough for Tracey to hear. She hugged her knees tighter and welcomed the pain her position forced on her ribs and throbbing back. "I do everything wrong."

The cell was silent, Faith expected to hear Tracey's light footsteps and the sound of the cell door opening and closing. Instead Tracey muttered a few curses and her footsteps grew closer. Faith shut her eyes and awaited whatever would be done to her next.

"You're really a pro at this, you know? No wonder Joseph liked you. Here."

Faith turned her head and saw Tracey had her palm open towards her. Her heart leaped when she saw the syringe that was offered.

"Take it, before I change my mind."

Not needing to be told again, Faith quickly snatched her prize before it could be pulled away.

"If you're going to make us Bliss proof you'll need to be in tip top shape, huh? I can easily recognize when you're going through the withdrawal motions."

Faith wasted no time in rolling up her sleeve, promptly ignored the tattoo on her forearm, and uncapped the syringe before expertly stabbing the needle into the crook of her elbow. A small smile grew on her face and she shut her eyes for a moment.

She hid the now empty syringe under her blanket and returned to hugging her knees. "Thank you," she whispered to Tracey's retreating back.

Faith fully believed that Tracey was only helping her keep her withdrawal symptoms at bay just so she could fully concentrate on helping her people, but a small part of her hoped it was another way of her former friend just watching out for her.

She was given a few minutes of peace to bask in the high. She was no longer sweating and actually felt the cold pouring in from the small window, both the cramps and her other hurts faded to a subtle throb. A smile grew on her face, above how she felt physically, she felt a little happier. It was nice to feel normal again, just for a little while.

Her heightened hearing quickly caught on to the sound of approaching footsteps. They were too heavy to be Tracey's.

Soon Aiden appeared at the cell bars. He looked surprised to see her curled up on the cot, but Faith quickly jumped to her feet to avoid his questions.

"Did you get everything on the list?" She asked.

The junior deputy nodded. "Everything and more," he grinned. "Luckily the doctor had most of the stuff. Speaking of which, you don't mind if he tags along and observes while you make the repellant potion, right?"

One of Faith's eyebrow's twitched at the name Aiden had for her solution. She couldn't help but comment on it, "Repellant potion? You make it sound like…something for bugs but also something that can be drunk."

A grin grew on Aiden's face which made his face all the more handsome as Faith couldn't help but realize. She felt her heart drop at the memory of his rejection and scolded herself for still getting hung up on him.

 _Stop it_ , she told herself, _we have no future together. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't even be interested_.

"Well it's meant to repel the Bliss, right? Then it's liquidy and we're going to drink it so then it's a potion. Repellant potion."

Despite how depressed Faith had been feeling Aiden always had a way to make her feel better, a smile grew on her face and she had to hold in a chuckle. "While I don't have a name for it, I don't know if repellant potion has much of a ring to it. Anyway, where will I be working? Here?"

Aiden replied with a shrug. "I know the equipment you're using takes up a bit of room. Do you need more space?"

Faith looked about her small, cramped cell. "Preferably, yes," she paused to think of a more suitable area to work in. "What about the laundry room? It's spacious, it has plenty of tables I can use, and it's unoccupied."

The male nodded. "Okay, I'll get the stuff moved over there then. I stopped by to give you this."

Faith looked down and noticed he held what looked to be a sandwich wrapped in a paper towel.

"With all the chaos this morning I just realized we didn't have the chance to eat," Aiden explained.

A smile grew on Faith's face again as she accepted the food. She had been too distracted by her inner turmoil earlier to realize how hungry she was.

"I'll set everything up while you finish that then," Aiden told her before he left the cell.

It didn't take Faith long to eat the spam and egg sandwich, she was so hungry she finished it in four bites. Aiden returned soon after and escorted her to the laundry room. Upon approaching it she still felt her heart beat a little faster in apprehension. She knew Tracey or Jess wouldn't be waiting for her inside the room, still she couldn't shake the anxiety that slowly crept inside her.

Inside the room two tables were used to hold the things she requested. Two others were inside the room. Faith recognized the doctor, he stood nearby the occupied tables, a small notepad and pencil in hand. The shine of curiosity was still in his eyes as he watched her.

The other person in the room made Faith's heart beat faster again, Tracey stood leaning back against one of the washing machines right across from the tables Faith would be working on.

Faith had fully been expecting to be observed while she made the solution, but to actually have so many eyes on her made her feel a little insecure.

 _This isn't much different when you worked on the Bliss_ , she reminded herself. Having the Father observe her while she experimented on the Bliss was much more nerve wrecking.

There was really nothing to say from that point. Faith immediately headed for the tables and reached for the notebook, pencil and calculator. The doctor was immediately next to her to watch as she wrote down a series of numbers.

"What are you doing? Math homework?" Tracey asked dryly.

Faith shook her head. "I'm used to making this solution in massive quantities. It won't take me long to calculate the proper ratios for a much smaller batch."

True to her word, Faith figured out the numbers to create a smaller batch of the solution and immediately got to work. It was a bit annoying at first with the doctor keeping such a close eye on what she was doing and writing down notes. Eventually Faith just started explaining the process just so he would keep his distance and she could have some elbow room to work.

There was one process that had them waiting, the solution had to be boiled and then cooled. Faith peered around the room while she waited, the doctor was organizing his notes, Tracey still stood leaning against a washer, her arms crossed over her chest, but her eyes were closed. Whether she was actually asleep or just resting her eyes Faith had no idea. Aiden looked beside himself with boredom, he paced and bit at his nails.

"Aiden," Faith called him.

The man stopped his pacing and approached her. "What's up? You need anything?"

She watched him with a smile and shook her head. "You pacing is making me a bit anxious," she admitted. "To kill the time, why don't you work on your singing?"

Aiden paled at the suggestion. When the doctor and Tracey looked at him his cheeks flushed. "Err…well I'm sure there are some things the sheriff has for me to do."

The moment he began to inch closer to the exit, Faith felt ice run through her veins and her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Her eyes immediately looked towards Tracey. Surely she wouldn't do anything to her while she was working on the solution, right?

Speaking of which, she eyed that the solution began to boil and she immediately removed it from the hot plate and transferred it to the small ice bath that she prepared. When she looked back to Aiden all signs of his self-consciousness was gone as he seemed to look over both herself and then to Tracey. As quickly as his calculating eyes had hardened when he peered at Tracey they quickly softened when he looked back at her.

"I mean, they both have heard me sing," he admitted.

"Please don't make him sing to us," the doctor pleaded to her.

He had been so quiet that Faith jumped when she heard his voice. She suppressed a laugh. "Then it's time to work on training your counter," Faith said as she checked over the solution. It was still too warm. "You said you're conditioned to react upon hearing a specific song. I need you to imagine you're _hearing_ it, and then immediately start singing. Can you do that?"

There was a small flash of fear in Aiden's cyan eyes, but he nodded. "Yeah, I can."

Both Tracey and the doctor groaned.

"Hey!" Aiden told them. "I don't sing that bad." Then in a much smaller voice he said, "do I?"

"No offense, rook," Tracey told him. "I've heard better, but it's that you've been singing _so much_ lately."

Aiden looked so offended he gaped like a fish out of water, Faith had to suppress another laugh. "If you all wouldn't say Peggies all the time I wouldn't have to!"

Tracey looked at Faith with an angry expression and she couldn't help but pause. " _You_ put him up to that?" Despite her expression, her tone was not angry at all.

Faith shrugged. "It's part of his counter conditioning."

As if on cue, Aiden began humming which quickly turned into soft singing. It wasn't loud enough to echo inside the room, but loud enough for them to hear the lyrics he sang. Faith felt a surge of emotion swirl thickly inside her chest upon hearing the words, he was singing the song they worked on together.

"Don't think I've ever heard that song," the doctor muttered. "And I hear everything." He was quiet a moment longer to hear more of the lyrics that Aiden sang. "I like it."

A blush warmed Faith's cheeks and she pretended to be deeply engrossed on checking the temperature of the solution again. Thankfully it cooled and she resumed working on it all while explaining the remaining steps to the doctor. Tracey resumed with her quiet presence and Aiden continued working on his singing for a few minutes longer.

"This worked well enough at first, but what's the next step?" Aiden asked.

Faith was bottling the now completed solution. The batch would be enough for twenty people, but the doctor had the instructions on how to make it if more was needed for the resistance.

"The next part would be to actually hear the first few seconds of the song and work on your counter reaction."

Aiden paled again. "I would feel more comfortable if I'm unarmed and locked up in my cell before trying that."

Faith nodded. "The sooner you work on that the better."

"It may not even be needed," Tracey commented. "Not if this stuff works the way you say it will."

Aiden shook his head. "I don't want to risk it. As Faith said, the Father will be ready to use all of his tricks. Once he sees that the Bliss isn't working on everyone what if he starts playing that song?"

"You against all of us won't be a problem, no offense," Tracey argued.

"I don't doubt that, but I don't want to hurt even one of you guys, or worse."

Tracey sighed. "Whatever, you have a few days to work on it anyway while we get everything ready, and while we get this stuff to the militia and Fall's End." She looked at Faith. "Is it ready to be tested then?"

The shortest female nodded and adjusted her weight off her injured leg, she had been standing for too long and it was starting to ache. "Obviously all we need is Bliss."

Tracey fished out a small glass jar from her pocket. "I'm sure you're aware that you'll be testing it on yourself."

Faith nodded.

"Drink up then, flower girl," Tracey smirked.

The Bliss herald shook her head. "No, for it to work it has to be in the bloodstream quickly. Ingesting it will take too long and it weakens its effectiveness."

She turned to the other table and took a small syringe. The needle was just an inch long. As she filled it with the solution she heard the doctor scribble furiously on his notepad.

"Everyone will have to inject it. Different injection sites were tested, but the easiest is to inject it on the upper arm," Faith explained. To demonstrate her explanation, she rolled up her sleeve, wiped her arm with one of the alcohol wipes that was provided on the table with the other supplies, and then she injected the solution.

"It works quickly as it's spread through the bloodstream," she continued while she rolled down her sleeve. Her eyes widened when she noticed the track marks in the crook of her elbow were easily noticeable. She looked up and felt her heart drop, she noticed the way Aiden's eyes lingered on her arm and his eyes narrowed.

Shame hung heavy in her chest. It was different to feel this way if it were the Father or someone else in the Project that would have seen them since they were to oppose the usage of drugs, and years ago she wouldn't have cared if anyone would have noticed them. But with Aiden it felt different.

"How long will it take to be in effect after it's injected?" The doctor's question pulled Faith from her thoughts.

"Immediately," Faith began to explain before she felt a wave of liquid hit her in the face. The liquid had a earthy taste, almost like dirt but not quite, with a small trace of a floral taste. Tracey had thrown Bliss on her.

Faith blinked hard and wiped the liquid from her eyes. "As I was saying," with Aiden nearby she felt brave enough to give a small glare at Tracey, who looked back at her with a smirk. "It works immediately, but if you're exposed to the Bliss too soon, like _now_ , the Bliss can still affect you, but the solution will slowly neutralize it." She blinked again and shook her head to rid the appearance of a foggy meadow that kept wanting to replace the laundry room. Soon enough the laundry room stopped fading and she looked at everyone in the room.

"Does this prove that it works?" She asked them.

"Not quite," Tracey crossed her arms.

"How long will it last?" The doctor asked again.

"About an hour," Faith replied. "It also depends on how much Bliss the person is exposed to, but for it to bypass the concentration of the solution it would have to be enough Bliss to turn a person into an Angel."

"Any side effects?" The doctor didn't even look up from his notepad, he kept writing furiously.

"Light headedness. I've had no other side effects and nor has anyone else told me otherwise."

The doctor nodded, continued writing, but ceased with his questions. Tracey still looked unconvinced which Aiden quickly noticed as well.

"Give me a dose," he announced and began to unbutton his green plaid shirt. He wore a black undershirt underneath. Faith felt her eyes immediately roam to the exposed part of Aiden's chest. The shirt was low and tight enough to show the hard muscle underneath. And whether it was due to his light colored hair or because he shaved, his chest looked clean and smooth. She suddenly wandered what it would feel like to run her hand along his chest.

Faith quickly looked away and scolded herself again. It had been a while for her, maybe if she found someone to satisfy her physical urges she could control herself better with Aiden around, but considering her situation it looked like she would be without satisfying those urges for years to come. The thought depressed her even more, though it was the thought that she would never have Aiden intimately that depressed her more.

She wondered if Aiden had a wife. No, he didn't wear a ring and he never mentioned being married or of having any children. A girlfriend maybe? With his looks and personality it was a guarantee he had a girlfriend. The good ones were always taken. A surge of jealousy ran through Faith.

 _Focus_ , she scolded herself for the umpteenth time.

She prepared another syringe with the solution and handed it to Aiden along with another alcohol wipe. He mimicked her actions earlier and injected the needle himself with only a small grimace.

"That was a lot easier than I thought," he smiled proudly and puffed out his chest. "I admit I'm not a big fan of needles."

"Good thing I have more of these," Tracey replied. She withdrew another bottle of Bliss from her pocket, unscrewed the top, and tossed the contents onto Aiden's face. He sputtered and wiped his eyes.

"A little heads up would be appreciated," he told her.

Tracey rolled her eyes. "Like Joseph will give you a heads up."

Aiden blinked and looked about the room. A few times he would blink again, shake his head, and then he looked at the three in the room with a smile and lifted a thumbs up. "It works. Can confirm."

That seemed to ease the last of Tracey's doubt. She looked to the doctor. "Can you make more yourself," she asked him.

The man in question looked at his notes before he pushed his glasses back up onto the ridge of his nose and nodded.

"I'd feel more comfortable if we tested out one of your batches first, Charles." Tracey said. "Make one now. I'll test it myself."

The hooded woman looked at Faith and seemed to give her a mental warning that the solution had better work or the consequences would be dire. Faith couldn't help the small shiver that crawled along her spine.

While the doctor worked Faith watched to make sure he did everything correctly. In the end he did everything perfectly, not that preparing the solution was difficult. Tracey injected a dose to test it and was promptly satisfied with the results. A rare smile grew on her face.

"Now we just need to make more, bottle it up and send it to the others. Then we can end this hell."

Aiden nodded. "While you guys work on that I think I'll go pick up Jess and Sharky. We'll need them for the confrontation with Joseph."

Tracey nodded. "We got it from here, just don't be late meeting us there, rook."

Aiden saluted before he led Faith out of the room. Instead of leading her towards her cell, as she expected, he took her to his own cell. Normally she would be delighted and relieved to be alone with him, but knowing that he noticed her track marks and with how he kept looking at Tracey she couldn't help but feel a little hesitant of the conversation that might be coming.

They went into the isolated cell and he gently shut the door behind him, Faith felt her heart beat faster. She did her best to keep a neutral expression.

"Hey, sorry to bring you in here suddenly," Aiden started. He looked unsure of what to say as he fumbled with his words and rubbed the back of his head while keeping his gaze away from her.

Faith stuttered just a bit as well, "is there something wrong?"

"Well," he paused again and his face softened, "I'll never force you to tell me what you don't want to talk about."

The Bliss herald's arm immediately went to her sleeve and tugged on it. The sleeve was already down and covered her wrist, still she felt self-conscious about her marks.

"Is—is everything okay?"

Her mouth opened to immediately ensure that she was indeed fine, but she paused. "Considering the circumstances? I'm…surviving."

Aiden looked saddened by her answer. She admitted close enough to the truth without lying or confessing all of the details. For being imprisoned, denied sleep, starved and beaten all while possibly falling in love with the very man that put her in the jail, surviving was precisely the best way to describe everything.

"Okay," Aiden replied. "I'm no professional, but I did tell you that I always wanted to be a psychologist. I will listen to anything you have to say and I won't judge you for it."

Surprisingly, Faith felt the need to confess everything to Aiden then and there. She had been bottling everything that's happened in the last few weeks that she felt like it was slowly driving her mad and maybe talking about it to Aiden could help her feel just a little more sane. But still she hesitated. How would he react upon hearing of Tracey and Jess tormenting her? No doubt he had his suspicions, but she had no idea how he would react if she were to confirm it. Would he judge and dismiss her just for relapsing back to her drug addiction?

Faith shook her head. "I was _happy_ , Aiden. After years of loneliness and self-loathing I was finally happy. Now?" She paused to swallow and control her emotions. Last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him. "Do you really need to ask if everything is…okay?"

He looked as if she had slapped him and Faith suddenly felt bad for making him look so guilty.

After a silent moment Aiden sighed and finally met her eyes. "While I can never be sorry for doing what I had to do in order to save people's lives, I am…sorry it came down to this. I understand you must hate me, but…I remember what you told me in the Bliss once. You said you finally wanted to live and you were scared if it came down to dying for the Father. Do you wish that I didn't go back for you in the river just to spare you from having to live without everything that made you happy?"

It was a question that Faith asked herself numerous times as she sat alone in her cell. "I…don't know," she confessed. "There _are_ times that I do feel like I hate you for all that you've done."

Sorrow twisted in her chest as she watched Aiden's face sadden. She thought back on what Tracey had told her about him, was she honest? Could he have developed some sort of feelings for her too? She couldn't think of any other reason why he would appear sad if she did hate him. She was just his prisoner after all, why would he care about their relationship?

"But it's not like you did all of that just to hurt me. It's," she sighed, "it's easier to hurt others when you have people that encourage it and make you feel like you're not in the wrong. It's easier to do…horrible things when you aren't out there to witness it all."

Faith stepped closer to Aiden and she was relieved to see that he didn't back away to create more distance between them. He no longer looked sad and she could see the curiosity in his eyes as she continued to speak. "You didn't have to save me, but you did. Despite everything I did to these people, what I did to _you_ …you still remembered what I said about not wanting to die. Of being scared of it. You were kind to save my life when it was so much easier to walk away. No one's…no one has treated me the way you have."

She paused and fought the urge to reach for Aiden's cheek or arm. She just wanted to touch him, but she knew he would pull away. "You've seen the bruises," she whispered, "you're not dumb, you can guess what happened. I'm not naïve enough to think more of this won't happen in whatever prison I end up in. A U.S. Marshal is _dead_ because of _me_."

Aiden interjected, "but you didn't physically murder him."

Faith smiled sadly. "Does it matter? And what of all the other things I've done? The Bliss? The Angels?" She shook her head. "But my point is, you've treated me more kindly than anyone I've ever known. Just you being in the room makes me feel so much better and…happy." She took another step forward. "No, I could never hate you, Aiden." Her tongue and lips refused to voice the rest of what she wanted. She wanted to admit her feelings to him, but she was too cowardly to do so. She didn't want to be rejected again. Knowing they could never be together hurt enough.

Finally she turned away from him and stepped away. "If you were in Hope County before…if we had ever met before all of this, I think things would have been very different. To answer your question from so long ago, no I wouldn't have joined the Project if I had happiness elsewhere."

"Faith," Aiden told her gently. He paused and looked conflicted on what to say.

"That's not," she didn't want to hear his rejection again. She quickly headed towards the door. "Please don't, let's just go pick up your friends and you can end all of this where it started."

After a silent moment Aiden collected himself and tugged her arm gently until she turned to look at him. "Before we get to that, there was another reason I wanted to talk to you privately in here." He took a deep breath and exhaled as he paced. "My singing as a counter condition has been great thanks to you, but before we confront the Father I want to be absolutely sure it'll work. I _know_ he'll play _that_ song."

"Only you?" Faith sung the words.

The junior deputy's eyes bulged and he quickly back up until his back hit the floor. His chest began to heave as he breathed rapidly. Faith was about to remind him to sing, but he beat her to it. He sang their song again. Even though it was half finished, he kept singing the few lyrics she wrote over and over.

Faith mustered all of her courage and approached him. She grabbed his arm and placed his palm over her chest again, right over her heart. He knew to time his breaths with her heart beat, even though she was a bit scared her heart was still beating much slower than his rapid breaths. Soon he calmed and a wide, honest smile grew on his face.

"It worked, kinda," he announced. "I don't know if you singing it was enough to trigger me, but it felt like it was. My vision was darkening just a tiny bit and—wait how did you know that was the song?"

Faith blinked in surprise that she was able to understand everything Aiden said. He said everything so fast. "I was aware of that little music box Jacob always kept. I knew the song it played. So I just took a calculated guess."

Aiden shook his head but the smile was still on his face. "Guess your exercises helped. But…I would like to test it out with the real song, just to be sure." He stepped away from her and retrieved the small bag he kept in the cell and rummaged through it. Then he pulled out that familiar small wooden box.

"I'll handcuff myself to the metal frame, it's sturdy enough to hold me. I have a favor to ask of you. Yeah I can open the box myself, but if I'm not ready and can't fight the conditioning I need you to close the box and just wait it out until it wears off. Can you do that for me? Please?"

More fear crept into Faith. If he wasn't ready then she was at risk of being in the same room with him. But he was confident that being handcuffed to the metal frame that was screwed into the wall would hold him. "Okay," she finally said. "I trust you."

He handed her the small box and quickly handcuffed himself to the metal frame and sat on the cot. "Don't worry, I don't have any weapons."

With a deep breath, but still backing up until her back was against the door, Faith wound up the small music box and then lifted the lid.

* * *

The few seconds it took Faith to wind up the small box Aiden never felt so worried. His hands shook, sweat dampened his shirt and he felt sick to his stomach. When she lifted the lid and the music echoed loudly in the cell the effect was instantaneous. Aiden's vision darkened while small circles of light appeared.

The first thing he felt was the hunger and then came the anger. Then he opened his mouth but it wasn't to shout out or growl, instead he began to sing. He focused on the words and recalled the sound of the guitar that should be accompanying the bittersweet lyrics. But he wasn't hearing his own borderline tone deaf singing, instead he was hearing Faith's voice. He pictured her sitting on the cot in her jail cell and imagined himself sitting across from her, guitar in hand and strumming along to her soothing voice.

As quickly as the anger came it loosened its hold on him. He wasn't so angry that he wanted to murder the first person he saw. He wasn't sure how it was working but he knew if he kept singing he would hear her voice instead of his own so he continued until he felt calm and at peace. Then it was like he was pulled out of the Bliss. His vision cleared and he saw Faith again, but she was standing and she looked nervous and fearful.

 _Did it work?_

Aiden looked down at himself and saw that his handcuffed wrist wasn't even raw, it seemed like he didn't try to struggle out of the cuff. He looked back at Faith and felt his cheeks tighten from a smile so wide it felt like it would rip his face.

"It worked!" He burst out laughing. "I think, did I try to attack you?"

Faith closed her eyes and exhaled. She leaned against the door and shut the music box. Aiden hadn't even realized the music was still playing. His heart soared upon the realization.

"You didn't budge, you just sang," she smiled at him. "How are you feeling?"

Aiden thought on her words and took note that he wasn't even shaking with anxiety. "I feel great! I feel like…myself. Did a lot of time pass?"

"No, maybe just a few seconds."

He smiled again. "I can't believe it worked. I mean—"

Faith smiled at him again and opened the box abruptly. The music began to play, but his reaction was pure instinct. He knew if he sang he would see Faith again, singing to him while he strummed the guitar. His vision still darkened and he felt lightheaded, but it soon faded the longer he focused on Faith's singing and relaxed. Once he was calm he heard the loud snap of the wooden box shutting. He was the same as before, didn't move and Faith stepped in front of him.

"Looks like you're ready to face the Father," she said with a small hint of sadness in her voice.

He was so overcome with happiness and relief he dug into his back pocket with his free hand to take out the key for the cuffs. Once he was free he stood and pulled Faith into a tight embrace.

"Thank you! Being rid of this is…I can understand what they mean when they say a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Thank you, Faith, thank you."

Once he sobered he realized what he was doing and promptly let go of the shorter woman. "Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so sudden, I'm just so—" Then he remembered why she was even doing this for him and he felt himself deflate like a balloon. "Oh…this would be the part where I drive you somewhere and leave you with the car and walk away isn't it?"

There was a blush in Faith's cheeks, Aiden fought the urge to check if she was sick with a fever again but he stayed his hands. He did enough sudden touching, it was inappropriate. Being polite and civil with a prisoner was fine and dandy, but physically touching was another story unless it was to contain them. Remembering that she was his prisoner brought sorrow into his chest.

"Even if you kept to your end of the bargain where would I go? Return to the Father where you and your people will be waiting to arrest him? Hide somewhere and try to escape Hope County? No, my fate is sealed and I…accept it."

Aiden suddenly liked the idea of Faith hiding and escaping the county. But she was in a way very much like a child. She was depended on the Father that without him she had no idea on how to survive just like how she didn't know how to separate herself from her parents and Tracey. It felt like throwing her out on her own was a worse fate than what prison had in store for her. He still believed she could have a life after she did her time and atoned. Her aide was very crucial in their ultimate success. He vowed to research any type of loophole to help ease whatever she was sentenced to. His father had to know something that could help, he still had connections, close friends that were lawyers and even a judge or two.

He just felt so overcome with relief and it was all because of Faith. To hell with it, there was no one watching them so he hugged her again. She didn't stiffen at the contact. He even felt her arms tighten around his back and squeezed ever so gently. He would feel guilty for leading her on with this moment, for now he just wanted to bask in the utter relief that she helped cure his deepest shame.

The junior deputy must've held her too tightly or pressed on one of the welts on her back because his ears perked upon the sound of her muffled gasp. The sound brought him back to his wits and he pulled away from the embrace, strangely he felt so much colder without her in his arms. She fit so perfectly.

His chest clenched when he saw the sadness on her face. He was well aware of her feelings and at the moment he wished for nothing more but that they met under different circumstances. If she had been a cult member with clean hands guilty of nothing more but going to a few of Joseph's sermons and strayed to the resistance, or had been a member of the resistance since the beginning no doubt he would want to take the time to learn more about her, to do more to see that genuine smile on her face.

Aiden hated the moment of weakness that took control of him. Against his wishes to remain professional he leaned forward and kissed Faith on her forehead ever so gently. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He wasn't apologizing for arresting her or for the inappropriate embrace.

She seemed to understand what he meant and she nodded. He was taken back to that moment at the river where her face was swollen, bruised and bloody by his own hand when he pulled away from her reach. When she accepted her fate and walked towards her death in the water, alone.

"One more pit stop and we can end it where it all began," he repeated her own words.

With another nod she followed him to the exit.

* * *

A/N: I'm so bad at not responding to reviews and I apologize again for it! If only I didn't have to go to work in like two hours to catch up.


	25. Angel

Ambivalence

Chapter 25: Angel

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Aiden wanted to waste no more time now that there was no reason to remain at the county jail any longer. He couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that lingered in his gut, he had to check in on Jess and Sharky as soon as possible.

As usual, he took Faith to her cell so she could retrieve her hoodie so she could hide her face and if there was anything else that she needed. Of course, since all of the things she kept in her crate were given to her she didn't take anything with her. If she had any more drugs he didn't see if she snuck any in her possession.

Honestly it worried him when he saw the marks on her arm. At first he was angry and he suspected Tracey was the one supplying her with drugs. With their history no doubt the woman would be aware of Faith's drug history.

Then the anger faded and he was surprised that Faith would revert back to her drug usage, he was aware that the cult was strictly against drugs and alcohol. But they both shared a bottle of whiskey a few days ago, he was surprised then too that she drank. A part of Aiden felt relieved that the Bliss herald was becoming less Faith and Rachel was fighting back to the surface, but the other part of him was saddened to see the woman falling back on drugs. He remembered all too well her reasons why she turned to them for comfort.

 _I was happy_ , she had told him. Was it really so surprising that she would succumb to depression she had to turn to the needle again, despite her devotion to the cult? For all the hypocrisy of the cults teachings, Faith found a family with the community. Hell, she was worshiped by the followers and spoiled by the Father, so long as she appeased him. To lose it all he couldn't imagine what she must be feeling.

Question was, did Tracey give her the drugs to comfort an old friend or did she have other motives? Then he remembered that Faith had told Tracey about Joseph's location before she told him.

"Ready," Faith's sudden voice jarred him from his thoughts. "Do you want to take this or should I?"

Aiden looked towards the small satchel she referred to. It was Faith's idea that they take the anti-Bliss batch she made for Jess and Sharky.

"You take it," he told her, "if we have to run I don't want my rifle to jar the contents in that bag."

She nodded and shouldered the satchel. He gave her one final look over before they left the privacy of the third floor. Her bruises mostly faded save for a few yellow spots on her right cheek and her face still looked gaunt. However, one look at her she could easily be recognized. They would have to be quick with picking up Jess and Sharky. Her hood only covered so much of her face.

Faith looked surprised when he didn't slap handcuffs on her. With the recent attack there were plenty of people running about. Not wanting to separate from her, Aiden grabbed hold of her wrist and led her around to look for Adelaide. She wasn't inside the jail so he immediately headed outside where he found her tending to her helicopter Tulip.

"Is she ready to give us a lift?" Aiden asked her.

The older woman looked at him with a grin and beckoned him over. "She's always ready, deputy. She was untouched in that last scuffle. You ready?"

The junior deputy nodded despite the apprehension that grew. Now that he was looking at the small attack chopper he was unsure how he and Faith would fit.

Adelaide seemed to know what he was thinking. "I told you it was going to be a tight squeeze for you both, sweetheart. Climb on in."

There was no other choice but for Faith to sit on his lap. Thankfully the two seats in the small chopper were fully enclosed. And the ride should take no more than a few minutes.

Aiden still tried to squeeze in as much as possible to see if he and Faith could share the seat. But there was no way it could be achieved unless she was half hanging out of the door. Reluctantly, he sat and motioned Faith over. Her cheeks were already pink tinted. Once she sat on his lap they had some small difficulties trying to squeeze their legs in the small space together. While her legs were short Aiden's were long and took up most of the space. Thankfully the door latched closed.

Aidelaide climbed into her seat, not without giving Aiden a wink, and started up the chopper. When the machine roared to life Aiden felt Faith stiffen and she looked unsure of what to grab. When they lifted off the ground she muffled a gasp.

The spinning blades were loud, but not as loud as other helicopters due to Tulips enclosed seats. Aiden leaned towards Faith.

"You okay?" He asked her.

She replied with a stiff nod. Then Aiden realized she was breathing a little too quickly.

"We'll be there soon," he assured her.

"Where we headin'?" Adelaide asked.

"Whistling Beaver Brewery," Aiden answered. "Jess and Sharky were going to check out a stash located nearby the place so I'm hoping to find them there."

"You hope?"

Aiden shrugged. "With the amount of time they've been gone I expect them to either be there or passed through recently. I'll find them."

The remainder of the trip went by in silence. But Faith's nerves hadn't seem to settle, she continuously squirmed about. Aiden was grateful she wasn't exactly bony in a certain part of her which would have made her squirming a bit painful for him, but her continuous movement was beginning to have an embarrassing effect on him.

He leaned towards her again. "Flying nerves? I would think you'd be used to being flown everywhere in the Henbane."

Faith shook her head and finally spoke, her voice quivered. "I…don't like flying. I avoided it if I could."

Discussing her fear of flying seemed to have heightened her nerves and she went back to squirming. Aiden tried to ignore it but it was downright impossible, not with how…well cushioned Faith's rear end was.

"Faith?" He finally said. "Are you, err, uncomfortable? I know our sitting arrangement isn't exactly ideal. Any chance you can, ah, stop moving so much?"

Faith peered over her shoulder to look at him, a wrinkle between her brows. "Why? Will it tip the helicopter? Open the door?"  
Aiden struggled to think of a way to explain how her squirming was affecting him.

Adelaide burst out laughing. "Sweetheart, Aiden may be a gentleman, but he's still a man. Keep givin' him that lap dance and it won't be his gun you're feelin'."

Faith quickly diverted her attention back to her feet and Aiden glared at Adelaide. His face, ears and neck burned. Thankfully, Faith remained absolutely still the remainder of the trip.

It wasn't long until they arrived at the brewery. Adelaide landed in the empty parking lot to drop them off. Faith all but jumped out the moment Tulip touched the ground.

"You sure you don't need me to hang around a bit, deputy? What if they're not here?"

"We'll get a ride. You'll be needed more to help the others deliver the anti-Bliss concoction in case any more of the Chosen show up."

"Well, good luck. I expect to see you there to arrest that son of a bitch."

Tulip took to the air quickly and vanished beyond the treetops. Aiden was relieved to see that Faith hadn't run off when his back was turned. Though she had a point earlier, at this point where would she go? He noticed she would walk a few steps and then shake her head.

"You okay?" He asked as he approached.

She nodded. "I just keep feeling like we're still flying."

"That'll wear off in a few minutes. You don't feel sick do you?"

"No."

"Good." He almost touched her back to lead her towards the building, but he remembered the pain it caused her the last time he did that. "Let's go then."

They were immediately greeted by the few resistance that occupied the building. They must have recently taken control of the place from the cult, Aiden could see the telltale signs of a recent shootout. Some walls were littered with bullet holes, there were puddles of dried blood on the pavement, and he could recognize the alarms the Peggies were fond of using in case of an attack. Faith looked dismayed at the signs of the violence.

As Aiden asked around for Jess and Sharky, Faith kept her hood up and avoided eye contact with anyone. Thankfully no one seemed to recognize her, but he didn't like the way she caught the attention of some of the men. Aiden found himself standing between the men and Faith.

"You just missed them, deputy," one of the men explained. He nodded his head towards the mountains. "They helped us liberate this place so we're still sorting out through most of the stuff the Peggies had stashed here."

"It's mostly the goddamn Bliss though," one of the men that was gawking at Faith retorted before he spat on the ground. "The bastards dumped out all of the alcohol."

"Which way did they head?" Aiden asked even though he knew they should have headed to the East of the brewery, he still wanted to confirm his friends headed to the stash Faith told him about.

"That way," the first man pointed to the East. "We thought we heard gunfire though. We lost some men to take over this place so we don't exactly have the numbers to check it out. Your people seem capable of handling themselves though."

Aiden nodded, "you have no idea. Anyway, thanks."

The unsettling feeling in his gut worsened. Aiden was confident Jess and Sharky could take care of themselves, and they were accompanied by a few Cougars so they weren't alone. Still he couldn't shake the bad feeling.

He grabbed Faith and led her towards the woods, his eye still lingering on the men that were staring at her earlier. He grew anxious when he noticed two men whisper to each other and then both turned to look at Faith. They walked a little faster.

"So where is this stash?" Aiden asked her once they got to the cluster of trees.

"There's a cave nearby. We should come across a small dirt path that'll lead us right to it," Faith explained.

They found the path and followed it. A few minutes into the hike Aiden noticed Faith's slight limp became much more pronounced. When the path kept taking them uphill she paused to lean against a tree.

"Are you okay?" Aiden asked. He approached her while still keeping an eye around their surroundings. If Jess and the others were shooting earlier there was a chance their attackers may still be about.

"I just need a breather," Faith replied. She had her injured leg slightly raised and massaged it with her free hand.

"Can you keep going? If not I can carry you on my back."

It had been about two weeks since he shot Faith, something he still felt guilty about since she had been unarmed, despite the Bliss at her advantage. Her wound should have been healed by now. The guilt grew when he realized she didn't exactly have much time to rest and with the weight she lost she obviously didn't have the nutrition to help her body heal.

"No, I can keep going. It just hurts. We can't risk slowing you down in case we're attacked." To show her point, Faith stood straight and continued to follow the path.

"You can at least lean on me," Aiden unslung his rifle and looped Faith's arm around his shoulders.

Thankfully they didn't have to walk much further. If it weren't for Faith to point out they arrived Aiden would have missed it. The cave was hidden by two uprooted trees leaning against it.

"Is the cave deep?"

"It's not as deep as the Radon health mine, but it is very spacious. Other than food and ammo we have a lot of Bliss in it as well," Faith explained.

Aiden inhaled deeply before they went into the darkness. He switched on the flashlight that was attached beneath the barrel of his rifle. There were two distinguished green barrels inside the chamber. It was a good thing Faith thought to bring her anti Bliss concoction.

"Jess! Sharky!"

His voice bounced around the entrance chamber and continued to echo through the tunnel that led farther into more darkness. He didn't hear a response until they followed the tunnel into the much larger, huge chamber. There were beams of light easily noticeable towards the bottom at a distance. He called out again and all of the light beams were flashed towards his direction.

"Aiden?"

"You guys okay?" He shouted back. Then he looked towards Faith, she stopped leaning against him and used the wall as support. "What are we up against in here?"

"Only the Bliss at the entrance and a few Angels at the bottom."

They continued to descend until they were a few feet away from the others. It was difficult to see everyone clearly with the little light at their disposal, but no one looked hurt. At the bottom the smell of damp dirt became overpowered by the scent of unwashed bodies, Angel's, and blood.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked. She moved her flashlight until it shone on Faith.

"Is it the Bliss or is that who I think-" Sharkys question resulted in a yelp. "What the hell, Jess? You can't just stomp on an injured person."

"I'll explain why I'm here once we're out in fresh air," Aiden replied. Then what Sharky said registered. "You're hurt?"

"This moron let an Angel get the jump on him, but he's fine. Just a few scratches," explained Jess. "The rest of us are okay."

Aiden checked over the remainder of the group. The other Cougars were still with them, two men and a woman. True to Jess' word they all appeared dirty but unharmed. "Great. So change of plans. Let's head out and I'll explain everything."

The junior deputy never liked being confined in caves, they made him nervous. And all of his previous experiences in them were worsened with the Bliss.

Once they were outside in the sun he was able to take a good look at everyone. The cougars and Jess were dirty with dirt and flecks of blood on their clothes, but appeared uninjured. Sharky looked fine other than numerous scratches on his face and bruises around his neck.

Aiden opened his mouth to start explaining, but now that he saw everyone in the sun he could make out the signs that they were in the Bliss a little too long. Their pupils were much smaller than they should be, especially now that they were outside, and they kept looking around themselves.

The junior deputy waved his hand. "Can you guys see me?"

Jess immediately turned in his direction but didn't look directly at him. "Passing by the barrels in the entrance was a mistake. It wasn't bad at the bottom but now you kinda keep fading in and out."

Aiden cursed and then he remembered the bag Faith brought. He looked at her with a smile, she was already pulling the satchel off her shoulder. "You all are in luck. We have something that can remove the Bliss effects."

"Say what? How did you find something like that?" Sharky exclaimed.

"Why don't you all have a seat? It'll be easier to inject it."

"Inject it? Why does it have to be needles," Sharky complained, but still sat on the ground a little too harshly.

Everyone complied, but Jess crossed her arms and remained standing.

Faith didn't need to be told to inject the solution. She acted fast by pulling out the syringes and injecting them into everyone's arms, all the while she avoided eye contact. When Jess remained she was hesitant to approach her. Aiden stuck his hand out to accept the syringe so he could give it to Jess himself.

"Wow," one of the Cougars sighed, "this really works. Where was this a few months ago?"

"We got it in our possession just today, in fact." Aiden explained while he gave a dose to Jess.

The solution worked fast. A few blinks later and Jess openly glared at Faith. "I wonder how," she muttered.

Aiden stepped in front of Jess and shook his head. With his voice as low as possible he whispered, "please, Jess. Don't make me regret coming back for you."

There was a flash of hurt in her eyes but then they hardened with anger.

"So why are you here?" Jess asked, the anger evident in her tone.

"We know where the Father is."

Everyone's eyes quickly homed in on him and widened.

Sharky and the others jumped to their feet. "What are we doing scavenging for supplies then? Let's get that sumbitch," Sharky whooped.

"It's why I came for you guys," Aiden grinned. Then he turned to look at Jess, "I keep my promises."

The anger melted from her face and was replaced with a small smile. The small tension between them was gone and forgotten.

"Let's get going then," Jess announced.

Sharky and the other cougars marched up front while Jess, Aiden and Faith slowed to remain in the back.

"Funny how you got Joseph's location and that anti Bliss stuff so soon, huh?" Jess muttered. "You sure _that_ source can be trusted?"

Aiden looked at her with a frown. "The stuff worked, didn't it? It was tested before we started giving it to the others." Then Aiden explained why the solution was created in the first place. Jess paused for a second when he mentioned the county's water supply had been dosed with Bliss for years.

"So if we had confronted Joseph it would have all gone to hell," she thought aloud and then cursed. "How do we know this won't make it worse somehow?"

Aiden shrugged. "It wouldn't have been needed. Once we had his location we were all ready to set out then and there. It would have been more beneficial if we didn't know those details."

"This would have been a lot easier if you guys kept a radio, you know." Aiden pointed out. "We could have met there instead of having to come all this way to fetch you."

"Radios ruin stealth," Jess argued, "and thanks to it we captured this place relatively easily."

"Until someone triggered the alarm when they were trying to disable it," one of the cougars glared at Sharky.

The accused man was just starting to defend himself when gunfire clapped nearby.

Jess cursed. "Looks like the Peggies are back for more."

They all broke into a jog towards the brewery, though Aiden lagged behind with Faith still needing some help.

The building was being attacked, a few white trucks, including one with a machinegun equipped in the trucks bed, parked around the front and sides.

Jess cursed and then looked to Aiden. "What's the plan?"

"I put you in charge of this group. It's your call."

With a nod Jess observed the attack. "They're focused on attacking the front. We can come in through the back and get them by surprise. We don't have any snipers so we won't have cover fire."

Everyone nodded and began tracking forward. Aiden noticed Faith's hesitance and grabbed her wrist. He couldn't bring himself to trust that she wouldn't run off or go with the Peggies. He had no idea if being so close to her people would tempt her to return to them. She could still have them drive her to the Father where she could warn him. They were too close to finishing this and he didn't want to risk ruining it.

"Stay as close to me as you can, always keep behind cover." He told her before rushing forward with the others.

Any Peggies that tried to sneak around the back were immediately taken out by Jess. The others were none the wiser that they pushed in from the rear of the building.

Sharky and the cougars charged into the building through a backdoor while Aiden and Jess stayed outside to take out the gunner in the truck.

"I can't get a shot on him from here," Jess whispered to him. "He's got the other trucks covering his blind spot. We'll have to go around."

The huntress peeked around the corner of the building and quickly pulled back with a curse. "They spotted me, we need to get to cover. There's too many heading this way." What made their situation worse was that the Peggie in the truck began firing at their direction.

The only problem was that there was no other cover other than the building itself. They would be helpless if they didn't gun down the Peggies that turned the corner.

"Into the building!" Aiden pulled Faith towards the back where Sharky and the others went into.

Immediately upon entering the building bullets showered them, they quickly ducked behind crates and metal barrels. They took the entrance into the garage and it was filled with Peggies.

Aiden didnt have any time to peek over cover before he was immediately shot at, Jess had no better luck and she needed extra time to use her bow. There was no sign of Sharky and the others with him, but their gunfire could be heard from the other part of the building.

The junior deputy had to resort to exposing only his gun and blind firing. He got lucky with hitting a Peggie or two but there were so many of them. Worse, the truck from the outside was circling the building, they were trapped.

"Aiden!" Faith called him over the gunfire. He looked to her with wide eyes, afraid she had been hit. She was fine but she kept motioning to the barrel she hid behind.

He shook his head. "What?" He asked.

"These barrels have Bliss in them," she explained.

Aiden grunted. He knew that but the cases were metallic, the bullets bounced off instead of penetrating them.

"Open this one and roll it towards them."

Aiden nearly dismissed the plan, but at this point they had nothing else. And with the anti-Bliss stuff in their system they wouldn't be affected by knocking the barrel over.

Once he nodded Faith reached up to open the barrel. Aiden was faster and pulled her arm down just as a wave of bullets hurled in her direction.

"Jess!" He called before he slid his rifle to her. "We need a minute."

The huntress quickly scooped up his rifle and began to shoot at the Peggies to pull their attention. Aiden quickly took advantage and pulled the barrel until it fell on its side. There was enough room for Faith to take cover next to him while he worked on removing the small cap from the barrel. He had to resort to pulling out his knife to pull out the metallic cap.

Green liquid poured out of the barrel once the cap was removed and got all over Aiden's hands and shirt sleeves. He quickly positioned himself behind the barrel and gave it a kick.

The barrel rolled to the edge of the cover the Peggies hid behind, but the Bliss inside was quick to pour out. Just being near the stuff was enough to affect them.

Their reactions became slow and they didn't focus their fire together. Aiden felt something thump against his thigh, Jess slide his rifle back. With his gun in hand, he and Jess made quick work of the Peggies in the garage and moved into the rest of the building to help the others.

"We still have to take care of the truck outside," Jess reminded them.

There were more Peggies outside near the vehicles, but Jess and two others climbed to the roof of the building to provide cover fire. It was a slow and grueling fight especially when they ran out of ammo and had to resort to using the fallen Peggies weapons. Jess took out the gunner from the truck with her bow and had that smug grin on her face when Aiden whistled to express his impression on the difficulty of the shot.

Aiden rallied up the survivors. They lost more men, a few of the cougars that stayed in the brewery and one from Jess' group was injured. Once they were clustered together Aiden caught everyone up about the location of Joseph Seed and the injection they would need to take before heading out.

One of the men spoke up. "So that's why the Bliss didn't affect you?" He motioned towards the barrel that was rolled towards the Peggies. It was still leaking Bliss onto the floor and Aiden hadn't realized he was standing close to it.

"Oh, yeah." Aiden replied. "So line up! The faster we get you all Bliss proof the faster we can go get Joseph."

The men and women hollered their approval. Faith gave a nervous glance to Aiden before she made sure her hood covered her face as much as possible before she opened her satchel and got to injecting her solution to everyone.

One of the men that had been gawking at Faith earlier was saying something to her when it was his turn. Aiden frowned and stepped closer but it was too late, the idiot was flirting and tried to lift Faith's hood.

"Why's a pretty girl like you trying to hide under this?"

Faith was too busy injecting the solution to pull away before the man pushed the hood off her head. Aiden felt ice burn through his veins as he watched the recognition and shock register on the man's face. He stepped away from Faith and lifted his rifle and aimed it at her. With the distance he created between them the others in the room were free to see Faith's face. Everyone immediately recognized her.

"What the hell?" The woman from Jess' group said. "We thought you were dead."

Aiden slowly walked forward until he was standing in front of Faith. When he lightly pushed her behind him he could feel that she was trembling.

After the woman's comment, the man that had his rifle aimed at Faith glared at Aiden and then moved his aim towards his chest. Jess stepped towards the man and aimed her bow at him, an arrow knocked and pulled back.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sharky exclaimed. "How 'bout we all settle down, huh?"

The other resistance members appeared confused and unsure who they should aim their own weapons at, Aiden, Faith, or Jess.

"Why is she still alive?" The man pointing the gun at Aiden asked. Then he glared at the junior deputy. "You said she was dead."

"I said we didn't have to worry about her anymore," Aiden explained softly. He kept his arms up but still kept Faith shielded.

"What gives?" One of the other men nearby Sharky asked. "Are you on their side? Huh?"

Aiden fought the urge to roll his eyes. "I've arrested Faith, she's my prisoner."

"I don't see any handcuffs on her," another grumbled. "She shouldn't be trusted to roam about freely. What if we were attacked because of her! We lost Theo because of the damn Peggies."

Another urge to roll his eyes, Aiden took a deep breath. "She's not in cuffs because I didn't want to announce her presence for this very reason. Faith has been with me since her arrest, she's had no means to get in contact with anyone. She's had opportunities to run away but she's remained with me. Hell, it's because of her we know where Joseph is. She gave us the anti-Bliss so we wouldn't fall for his trap either."

The man looked unconvinced and kept his gun aimed at Aiden. Jess was struggling to keep her arrow pulled back on the bow, her arm shook ever so slightly.

"It's a mistake to trust her! For all we know she's setting us up," he meant to glare at Faith but Aiden's tall frame completely shielded her. "I had a friend that complained to her about the noise from the construction when they made that statue. She lied to her and sent Peggies instead to kill her."

Aiden felt disappointment burrow deep in his chest and he fought the impulse to look at Faith. He felt the moment he moved the man before him would take the shot.

"I didn't order her death," Faith defended, she spoke softly but Aiden could hear the confidence in her voice. "I sent people to apologize and convince her of the necessity of the construction. The men I sent were to offer her compensation for the inconvenience."

"Bullshit," the man aiming the rifle spat. "Did you seriously send armed psychophants to silence someone? What did you think they were going to do!" The man glared at Aiden and lifted his rifle so it was leveled with his face. "Step aside, deputy."

Jess stepped towards the man, her arrow still aimed at his head. Sharky muttered something to the others to keep them from bringing up their own weapons and was barely succeeding.

"I'm not just letting Faith go," Aiden reminded him, "she's my prisoner. After we're done with this war she'll be at the mercy of the justice system. It's not our place to execute her. She's unarmed and means no harm to anyone right now."

It took all Aiden's courage to take a step forward so the barrel of the rifle was nearly touching him. Even though he's been on the opposing end of plenty of firearm barrels in the recent months, it was still terrifying to be so close to one.

"If you kill her, an unarmed prisoner, that'll be considered murder. You just called me deputy, right? If you commit a murder I'll be required to arrest _you_. After everything you've done to survive do you really want to end up in jail? Do you want to rob your family of your presence because you had to stoop down to a Peggies level and murder a harmless person?"

Fury flashed in the man's eyes and he twitched, whether it was to shoot or hit Aiden he didn't know, Jess reacted upon his movement.

"Don't think about it," she cursed at him, "put it down or this arrow goes right through that pretty head." After a moment she continued, "it's getting awfully hard to keep this arrow pulled back. I may not be able to hold it much longer."

A long tense moment passed until the man finally cursed and lowered his gun. "Keep that bitch outta my sight if you don't want any problems."

Aiden nodded. "We're leaving now." He looked to Jess and Sharky and nodded his head towards the exit.

He didn't trust to give his back to the angry man, he walked backwards and pulled his arms back to ensure Faith remained behind him. Jess and Sharky were slow to follow them, they too wanted to be sure no one opened fire once their backs were turned.

"Wait," one of the others called out to them. "We want to be there to see Joseph Seed go down. Where is he?"

Aiden never had the chance to answer. The moment he had stepped out of the building a sudden force shoved at him from the side and knocked him to the ground. A man with the Projects cross symbol tattooed to his forehead held him down with one arm and he held a handgun in the other.

"Get out of here, Faith!" He shouted to the Bliss Herald that stood stunned nearby.

Aiden couldn't see if she followed his command, the Peggies frame was all he could see. The tackle robbed his lungs of all oxygen and he struggled to inhale more. it was difficult to keep the gun from pointing right at him.

"Stop!" Faith screamed, but the Peggie ignored her.

There was a sudden blur of green and the Peggie was lifted off of Aiden. While he struggled to climb to his feet he was helpless to watch as Jess tried to push the Peggie away and then his heart stopped upon hearing the loud bang of the gun going off. When Jess collapsed onto the concrete Aiden felt like he lost himself to Jacob's conditioning. It felt like he only blinked before his handgun was in his hand and aimed at the Peggie, he didn't hesitate to shoot the man in the head.

Aiden didn't bother to wait for the Peggie to hit the floor, he ran and slid on his knees to get to Jess. He turned her over and felt his heart tighten at the sight of blood spreading on her shirt. She was conscious with her eyes shut tight and her breathing was labored. Aiden shrugged out of his shirt, balled it up and pressed it hard against the growing bloodstain.

Jess cursed.

Aiden wasn't sure where she was shot, but seeing all of the blood terrified him.

"No, no, no," he muttered. He hadn't realized his vision swam from unwashed tears. "Please stay with me, Jess."

She struggled to voice how much it was hurting and it broke his heart. _Not like this_ , Aiden thought. He would never forgive himself if Jess died. She was protecting him.

He twitched when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Turning, Aiden had to blink hard to clear his vision. The tears were warm as they slid down his cheeks. It was Faith.

"I can save her," she told him gently.

"She'll make it," Aiden grunted. There was so much blood, it was much worse than when he shot Faith in the leg. And Jess was beginning to wheeze. "She's tough," he said it more like an accusation and he said it towards Jess as if to remind her. "She'll be fine."

Faith kneeled next to him and rested her hand on his arm. "Can you hear that whistling when she breathes?"

Aiden was only able to hear the thunderous pounding of his heartbeat.

"She was shot in the lung. She won't have much time," Faith explained gently. "I can save her if you trust me."

Logic was slow to register in Aiden's head. "How?"

Faith hesitated for a moment and she bit her lower lip. "She'll survive the wound if she becomes an Angel."

"NO!" Aiden shouted and shook his head furiously. "She may as well _be_ dead if you turn her into an Angel."

Jesse's lips were beginning to turn a light shade of blue and Aiden felt helpless and terrified. He didn't want her to die in his arms. It would break him beyond repair. They went through too much together, they survived everything the cult threw at them because of each other. He vowed to see her through the end, alive.

"Aiden, please, listen to me," Faith pleaded. The junior deputy finally looked at her, her blue eyes were filled with sorrow. "As an Angel she'll survive the wound. And then I can reverse it. I'll bring her back. You just have to trust me."

The junior deputy shook his head again. "You can't reverse that."

"Yes I can," there was a hardness in Faith's eyes. "It's...it's something I was working on before you and the marshal arrived." She paused to look down at Jess and then back to Aiden. "Give me time and I'll finish the cure for it. I promise."

Aiden watched her, he was not of the best state of mind to determine if she was lying or being truthful. He looked at Jess again. If what Faith said was true about her injury then she wouldn't last until they got her to back to the jail, to Charles. Whether Faith was telling the truth Jess would either die or remain an Angel, a fate no better than death.

He held Jess tightly and looked at Faith again. Time would tell if he'd grow to regret trusting her. "Okay. I trust you."

* * *

A/N: Yay for finally meeting a deadline, and a little early to boot. Wanted to get this chapter out before the holidays.


	26. Cure

Ambivalence

Chapter 26: Cure

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

Faith couldn't help but curse at herself mentally. The very last person she would care to save would be Jess. Her body aches and bruises were a constant reminder of the woman's beatings she inflected when she was incarcerated at the county jail. But in the end Jess saved Aiden's life when she was too weak and powerless to do anything but stand by and watch. For that she was grateful, especially with how much she came to appreciate Aiden even more when he constantly shielded her from harm from his own people. No one ever protected her like that, not her parents, not Tracey, not even the Father.

It was because of her appreciation, and ever constant growing feelings for the deputy, that she got lost in the impulse to promise him she would save Jess. The display of fear and grief Aiden showed as he held the hooded woman in his arms ripped a hole in her chest. She couldn't stand to see him appear so sad she just immediately promised him she would save his friend.

The memory of their kiss flashed in her head and she wasn't sure if she should correct herself to refer to Jess as Aiden's lover.

Faith had told the truth when she admitted she was working on a cure to reverse the Angel process. The Father expressed no interest in a reversal, but he hadn't directly forbidden her from researching it either. Regardless of everything they owed to the Angel's labor, and how well the Father convinced her that the Angels were serving their purpose to God, there was still a small part of her that hated to have no reversal for something she helped create. At least for the rare Bliss overexposure.

So Faith had secretly researched for a way to bring an Angel back to how they were before. Most of her notes were lost at her Gate, but she had most of the information stored mentally. Now she had the added pressure of figuring out the cure before the resistance confronted the Father or before Aiden lost his trust in her.

For now, they had to move fast before Jess succumbed to her wound.

"There is no way you're turning her into a goddamn zombie," one of the men blurted. Faith looked for the speaker and wasn't surprised to see it was the one that exposed her identity. He glared at her with obvious hatred in his dark brown eyes.

Aiden climbed to his feet, Jess still in his arms, and headed for the building. Faith followed close behind him.

"You have a better idea to save her life?" Aiden challenged the man. "We owe Jess a lot for turning this war into our favor. She's saved my life more times than I can count, including right now. If there is any way to save her then I'm all for it." He shoved himself passed the man and thumped his shoulder with his own. "If you don't agree with it, you're welcome to leave. Return to the jail. Go to Fall's End or with the Militia. I don't care. But do not get in the way."

He paused at the building's doorway. "Faith is my prisoner, she's free to roam this building freely. No harm is to come to her, otherwise she won't be my only prisoner."

To avoid any further confrontations, Faith placed a hand on Aiden's arm. She could feel the bulge of his tricep. "We need to hurry."

She led him towards the section of the brewery that served as a bar. Her stomach flipped at the sight of her brothers and sisters that were strewn across the floor in puddles of their own blood. It was one thing to hear and read reports of the violence that spread across the county, it was another to see it and smell it. It was easy to feel angry to see her people dead on the floor, but a small voice in the back of her head reminded her that her people started the violence. And usually against people with no means to protect themselves.

Faith kept her focus on their destination and continued to lead Aiden into a back room that led them down into the basement. The place was still the same as she remembered it, barrels and metallic kegs were stacked against the walls, all stamped with the Projects cross symbol. Before her Gate was constructed she purchased the Brewery, she needed the equipment to create liquid Bliss. She frequently created Angel's in this very basement.

The only sound to cut through the silence of the cellar was Jess' weakening wheeze. She had to hurry.

Faith sighed in relief when she spotted the large metal bucket on one of the barrels against the far wall. It was once used to keep bottled beers in ice for customers. It was big enough to sit a person in it and deep enough to accommodate the amount of liquid Bliss that would be needed.

She pulled the tub off the barrel and set it on the ground. "Place her in this."

Aiden obeyed and gently placed Jess in the tub, he had to hold her in place so she wouldn't slump over.

Thankfully there were smaller wooden kegs that were light enough for Faith to carry. With Aiden keeping Jess in place it would be up to her to pour the Bliss into the tub. To be safe she placed the keg down before she pulled out two more syringes from her satchel and injected herself and Aiden.

"Careful that you don't breathe in the fumes," Faith warned. "I need you to talk to her."

Aiden looked at the woman with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"While her body absorbs the Bliss you need to talk to her so she'll recognize your voice once she becomes an Angel."

Faith removed the keg's cap and began to fill the tub with liquid Bliss.

Aiden lowered his head so he was as close to Jess' ear as possible. Her lips were a darker shade of blue and her breaths were weak and shallow. The green Bliss liquid turned brown when it mixed with her blood.

The deputy kept his voice low but his voice still carried in the silent basement. His gaze was focused on Jess' face and the movement of her chest as if afraid she would cease to breathe.

"Remember that time we had to go get those bull testicles for that faire? When we released the cows to...mingle with the bulls remember one was attracted to me for whatever reason? You just sat there on the fence laughing your ass off as the bull chased me."

The Bliss was up to Jess' waist. There was a loud scratch and then a thump as Faith pulled the empty keg away and onto the concrete floor. Aiden's story would have normally made her laugh, but the current situation was too grim for her to even crack a smile.

"Keep talking to her," Faith said. "Until...until she turns just keep talking to her."

Aiden nodded, his attention on Jess' face. Faith recognized the fear in his eyes. "And-and then when we attended the faire itself you challenged me to a drinking contest and I lost. I blacked out and was utterly confused why I woke up the next morning with a bunch of pigs in party hats."

He chuckled but it almost sounded like he did it to avoid sobbing. Seeing the unshed tears in his eyes tore at Faith's chest. She wondered how it would feel to have someone cry over her nearing death. Did the Father grieve over the news of her supposed death?

"And you left me there all night! It took days for the stink of the pigs to get out of my hair," Aiden continued.

Jess was unresponsive but her breathing steadily improved, she was no longer wheezing.

"How long will this take?" Aiden's voice was rough.

Faith observed Jess' face. Color was now returning to her pale cheeks. Her face was originally scrunched with pain but looked to slowly slacken. "Not long now. She'll wake up when it's...done."

A minute of silence passed and the only movement from Jess was when she suddenly twitched. And then she took a deep, audible inhale as if she was underwater for too long. Her eyes opened. Her eyes were no longer blue, instead they were milky white. Her irises were so small it was easy to miss them.

Aiden exhaled loudly as if he were punched in the gut. His face scrunched with a mixture of emotions; sorrow, anger, and grief.

Jess twitched again and she let out a loud wail. Faith was on her feet, took a step back, and placed her palms over her ears by instinct. She watched as Aiden tried to keep Jess from struggling out of his grip.

"Talk to her," Faith instructed. "Your voice will calm her."

"Hey, Jess, it's me," Aiden cooed, "you're-you're okay now."

The hooded woman was quick to calm. She sat eerily still, her eyes never wandered to look around the room or to the two people around her.

Without Jess' wails, Faith removed her hands from her ears. "Careful not to touch her soaked clothes," she warned. "There should be clothes in one of the offices. The owner kept spare clothes." Faith headed for the stairs. "She won't think for herself, but she still maintains the motor skills for everything she was able to do before. You can command her to undress, just leave the clothes on the floor, please. I'll be right back."

"What about her wound?"

"It should have stopped bleeding. The wound is there, but isn't life threatening. When she gets out of those clothes you can patch it up." With that she climbed up the stairs.

Faith was glad that the bar section of the brewery was abandoned, but she was able to hear the others in the other part of the building. It sounded like they were cleaning up the aftermath of the shootout.

The office was left exactly as she remembered. The only furniture was a desk and a bookshelf. A large pile of clothes laid in the corner of the room, they most likely belonged to the previous people that were turned into Angel's. She did her best to find something that would fit Jess. She would need a bag for her current Bliss soaked clothes so she resorted to using the small unused bag in the trash can that stood next to the desk.

The man that exposed Faith seemingly waited for her outside of the office. He was tall with short dark brown hair and a beard. He was leaning against the bar with his arms crossed over his chest, his glare drilling a hole into her head, but he said nothing. Despite his lanky frame his tattooed arms bulged with muscles. Faith really hoped he would return to the jail. Or perhaps not, she feared what would happen if he spread the word of her survival to the rest of the resistance at the jail. The last thing she needed was more people showing up eager to kill her.

Ignoring the man, she returned to the basement and placed the clothes and bag on the floor in front of a still fully clothed Jess.

"Take off everything you're wearing and put them in the bag. Then put on these clothes," Faith instructed.

The newly turned Angel promptly began to undress. Aiden's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets. He cleared his throat and quickly turned his back.

"Why is she obeying you? I thought that's why you wanted me to talk to her," Aiden asked.

"She heard my voice as well. She'll listen to us both."

"So because she heard us while she was in the Bliss, she'll obey only us?"

"Yes, but if we tell her to listen to someone specific she'll obey."

"Is that how the Peggies are able to command the Angel's to do anything?"

"Yes."

While Aiden respected Jess' privacy, Faith didn't care to avert her gaze. She was too used to dealing with newly turned Angel's and the nudity that came when they were changed into recognizable clothing .

She didn't know why she half expected Jess to have flawless skin, but in reality the other woman was littered with scars. Her arms, legs and torso held numerous scars that looked to be caused from a variety of injuries, slashes, burns, even one that looked like a stab wound rested on a thigh, and her back had several small spots that looked like a result of shrapnel. Despite the scars and a few fresh looking scabs and yellow bruises, the woman's arms and legs were well toned with muscles. It was no wonder she was able to handle Faith with ease.

Aiden Jared her from her thoughts. "So what's next? What do you need to find the cure for her?"

Faith glanced around the basement, there was more than enough liquid Bliss for her to work with. "I'll need some lab equipment. There should be some here, but if I'm missing anything I'll let you know."

When Aiden hummed in response Jess had finished dressing. The jeans she wore were a bit baggy, but were kept in place with a belt and she garnered a plain black long sleeved shirt.

"It would've been better to have her rinse off the Bliss. I would avoid touching her if I were you," Faith explained.

Aiden peeked over his shoulder and turned once he saw Jess was clothed. She remained standing in place, she stared straight ahead. He continued to look conflicted each time he looked at her. "Anything else I need to know about...handling her condition?"

"She won't do anything on her own unless you instruct her to do so."

The deputy frowned. "Such as?"

Faith lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Everything. She won't eat, drink, or even sleep unless you tell her to do so. That includes bathing and even using the restroom."

"Seriously?"

The Bliss Herald nodded. "Of course she won't be able to help whatever her body needs. She'll still get hungry and thirsty and will tire. If she overexerts she can pass out. She'll still starve or become dehydrated. And...her body will naturally rid of its waste if she goes too long without tending to her needs."

Aiden sighed. "But she can do those things on her own right? If you or I tell her?"

"Yes, give her food and tell her to eat and she'll do it on her own. Tell her to bathe or use the toilet and she'll do it. She just won't do anything unless she is told."

The frown on Aiden's face quickly turned into anger and his eyes hardened. The muscle on the side of his jaw clenched. Faith could only guess what he was thinking. He was probably repulsed by the state Angel's succumbed to.

"She isn't suffering at least," Faith tried to comfort him. "They-they enjoy being busy."

Faith felt her heart drop when Aiden turned his angry gaze towards her. "How do you know they aren't suffering if they don't have the free will to complain?"

She scrambled for an answer. "They may not have the free will to complain but they are still expressive. When they're hurt or angry you can see it on their face. Most of the time you can see that they're calm and happy, they're at peace."

"Sharky is right," Aiden muttered to himself. But with how quiet the cellar was Faith was able to hear each word clearly. "They're brain dead. It's like saying a dead person is at peace. How are Angel's any different?"

Aiden looked at Jess for a long moment before he rubbed his eyes. "Are you sure you can reverse this?"

Faith felt her heart beat faster. "I'm confident."

The taller male looked apprehensive.

"I will reverse this, Aiden."

He was silent as he studied her. Faith fought the urge to look away and squirm and kept her gaze on him.

"Okay. Guess you should get to it then."

* * *

True to her word, Jess was very expressive physically. Even though her wound ceased to bleed he still had to treat it. When he poured peroxide on her wound to clean it, a weak whimper escaped Jess and her face contorted in pain for a brief moment before she returned to a stoic expression.

"How was the Bliss able to save her life," Aiden asked as he stitched Jess' wound. It wasn't his first time he ever had to stitch her up.

Faith was seated behind the desk. She and Aiden sat in the office. While Aiden tended to Jess Faith was assembling the lab equipment she found.

"Think of the Bliss as a way to boost our circulation, energy and cell production. Jess' lung was compromised and the Bliss gave her body a boost to fix the damage rapidly," Faith explained.

Aiden whistled. "The Bliss can really do all that?"

"Only in large quantities. It's a drawback, enough Bliss will boost a person's body but at the cost of destabilizing the chemicals in their brain which leaves them...unresponsive in a way."

Aiden finished patching up Jess' wound and removed the latex gloves he wore. There was so much Bliss radiating off of her he could feel the edge of his vision clouding ever so slightly.

"So then to reverse it…"

Faith glanced up at him. "I have to figure out brain biochemistry?" She asked dryly before she collapsed on her chair behind the desk and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I was close to figuring it out. And all of my research was at my gate," she sighed. "I just need a little time, Aiden."

The junior deputy nodded. "Again, if there's anything you need just let me know." He glanced back at Jess. "If I gave her a bow, would she know how to use it?"

"Yes," Faith muttered as she began scribbling on paper. "It's a skill she possessed beforehand, she retains it. If you command her to shoot someone she'll do it."

"But she won't use it on her own, like if it came down to protecting herself?"

"You can order her to harm or kill whomever is trying to do the same to her."

Aiden rubbed his chin in thought. His attention diverted back to Faith when she abruptly stood and began to pace. Her face displayed a mixture of worry and pain.

"Everything okay?"

She paused to look at him. "I need my notes! But they're gone and I thought I memorized most of the material. But I'm starting to second guess some things. I can't afford to make a single mistake."

Aiden blinked. Faith said everything so quickly she was able to mutter it all in a single breath.

"Can we retrieve your notes?"

The shortener woman's blue eyes narrowed in a glare. Aiden couldn't help the way his heart beat faster in apprehension. His last memory of such a fierce glare from her was before she attacked the jail.

"They were at my Gate. They're lost! Days, weeks worth of research are gone and I only have a few hours to pick up where I left off."

"Hey," the junior deputy approached the panicking Bliss herald. When he got closer to her he noticed her breathing was on the verge of hyperventilating. He had never seen her react this way before. "Let's work backwards. How did you make your notes? Test results?"

Faith shook her head. "My research was from medical books."

Aiden felt his heart sink. In all three major resistance factions they always had the hardest time locating any books relating to medicine.

"Okay. So where can we find the books you used?"

Faith seemed to realize the way she was acting and closed her eyes while she took deep breaths. Her ribs were probably still tender based on the few times she grimaced mid inhale. When she opened her eyes again Aiden could see the fear in her expression. He carefully rested a palm on her upper arm. She didn't stiffen at the contact.

"We'll figure this out together. Okay? I mean, I can offer no intellectual input about all this sciencey stuff, but I'll help you get the information you need."

His words were quick to calm her. She nodded and sat back behind the desk and began writing. Aiden peeked and saw she wrote a list.

"These were the books I hid somewhere close. Your-the resistance took control of the place, but I'm hoping they're still there."

"Which place is that?"

Faith inhaled deeply before she answered. "The conservatory that's due South-South East from here. My...old home."

Aiden raised an eyebrow. "Where will I find these books?"

"My room. I hid them in a box in my closet. I...boarded off my room and restricted anyone from going in. I don't know if it hasn't been broken into since the resistance took over."

The taller male nodded. He didn't need to ask why she would block off her room. His father did something similar to the sun room his mother was fond of occupying. His chest clenched in pity at the thought that Faith harbored such painful memories of her own room she physically shut out its existence.

"Why would you hide the books there?" The question was out of his mouth before he could help it.

Faith didn't seem to mind the question at least. "My home is where the Bliss was first created. It just seemed fitting to hide some of the knowledge that could lead to a reversal of Bliss overdose there as well."

Aiden picked up her list and folded it before he stuffed it in his jeans back pocket. "I'll get someone I trust to fetch them for us."

He paused before he left the office and glanced at Jess and then to her equipment that was kept nearby. He made up his mind and instructed Jess to put on her quiver and to hold her bow.

"While I'm gone you'll protect Faith. If anyone comes in looking to harm her or you, you'll shoot an arrow through their arm. Never aim to kill them though."

Aiden had to swallow his disappointment. He would have done anything to see Jess scowl at the order to protect Faith. Hell he wouldn't mind getting into an argument about it with her even if it resulted in a painful headache afterwards. Instead she continued to sit in her chair and stared straight ahead, she made no acknowledgement of her order.

He turned to Faith who was looking at him in confusion, but there was also a tenderness in her eyes. Then there was that ever growing feeling of guilt. The affection she felt for him was plain on her face each time she looked at him and there was nothing he could do to prevent that. As much as he wished they met under different circumstances it hurt him to know they didn't have a future together, maybe not even as friends.

"I'll be back," he told her before he stepped out of the room.

It didn't take him long to hunt down Sharky and give him the list of Faith's books. Aiden didn't like the idea of sending his only remaining friend in the general area off, but he didn't trust to leave Faith alone among the resistance even with Jess protecting her. He instructed Sharky to take another person or two with him so he chose two of the four others that were grouped with Jess' group.

Not wanting to cause any more animosity between him and the others in the brewery, Aiden set out to help with the cleaning and organizing of their resources. They were quiet as they all fell into the familiarity of work and Aiden thankfully never saw the guy that wanted to shoot Faith. His absence caused him to worry a little, however.

It took about an hour to move all of the corpses outside and another hour to dig out graves. Despite everything the Peggies did, Aiden was glad the resistance had the human decency to give them proper burials. They did take a few moments to honor the three men they lost. By the time they cleaned the blood and gore from inside and out of the building, the sky turned orange as the sun began to hide behind the mountains.

With the good news about the Father's location, everyone was in good enough spirits to celebrate. Ever since they started cleaning the brewery two people left to hunt and returned with a buck. Without any spices or barbeque sauce the meat wouldn't be the tastiest, but it still improved everyone's mood. They made due with canned beans and vegetables the Peggies kept in the building.

Aiden took some food back to the office where he found Faith tinkering with some lab equipment and Jess remained in her chair. She was unmoving, but her eerie white eyes watched him intently. He was only able to carry two plates so he ate with the others before he arrived to bring the women their meals. Once commanded to eat, Jess dug into her food. For a moment it almost seemed like she was normal if it weren't for her empty gaze that continued to watch him and the office door. Faith ate absentmindedly while she continued to study over her notes.

"Hey," Aiden called her. She hummed in response, but her attention remained on her papers.

The older male approached her and purposely sat on the desk, covering most of her notes. Faith finally tore her attention away from her work and glared at him. Aiden offered her an innocent smile.

"Why don't you take a breather? Rest that big brain of yours while you eat," he told her.

The younger woman sighed and relented. Aiden noticed she was sweating even though the room was relatively cool. Her cheeks weren't flushed so he doubted she was feverish.

"Have you been researching all day?"

Faith nodded. She finally sat down and focused on her plate.

There was a knock at the door. Aiden answered it and found Sharky on the other end. He breathed a sigh of relief, the other male looked unharmed.

Sharky unshouldered a backpack and handed it to Aiden. "Special delivery." His gaze slid over to Jess and his eyes narrowed. Aiden was aware of the man's detestment for Angels.

The junior deputy accepted the bag and placed it on Faith's desk. "No peeking at those books until after you finish dinner."

Faith rolled her eyes and continued picking at her food.

Aiden motioned Sharky out of the office and he followed him. Ever since Jess was turned into an Angel she was kept inside the office. Aiden didn't want to stir any further anger with the others by having her exposed to everyone.

"How...how is she?" Sharky asked.

"She's alive which is more than what I could have hoped considering her injury."

"I don't know, man," Sharky sighed, "do you really trust _her_ to bring Jess back?"

"I do," Aiden replied. "She gains nothing by helping us. You should've seen her stressing about her research earlier. She truly seems genuine about figuring out a cure."

"I hope so," Sharky shrugged. "I took a peek at those books. I couldn't understand a damn thing, they may as well have been written in Chinese or somethin'."

Aiden grinned. "I felt the same when I looked over her notes."

"How long do you think it'll take her to figure it out?"

"I don't know and I'd honestly prefer she doesn't rush. I'll wait however long it takes to bring Jess back."

"Hopefully not too long before Joseph Seed is arrested. The sheriff says the national guard will move into town to finish cleaning out the Peggies."

Aiden nodded. "When we arrest Joseph we'll have to take Faith in as well. Who knows if she'll be allowed to finish her research in jail. I do hope she'll finish before that happens, but at the same time I don't want her to rush. Mistakes happen when we're rushed."

The two men were silent as they absentmindedly walked towards the bar. Sharky tried all of the beer handles but they were all dry, his face fell in disappointment.

"I know the people here aren't happy about Faith still being alive," Aiden kept his voice low. There didn't seem to be anyone else in the bar with them, but he didn't want to risk someone eavesdropping. ""Have any voiced plans to hurt her?"

"Nah," Sharky began searching every cabinet and crook and nanny for any trace of alcohol. "They're just glad she's not running around turning people into Angels. Accepting her help is like a double edged sword for them, they're relieved to have her helping us, but they know not to trust her. Guess they're just waiting for her to make a move."

Aiden sighed in relief. He was worried about more people trying to harm Faith while he had his back turned. He slapped Sharky on the back.

"Thank you for getting those books. Get yourself some grub and rest." Aiden took a few steps away before he paused. "Oh and the place has already been checked for alcohol. The Peggies tossed out everything."

Sharky cursed.

When the junior deputy returned to the office Faith was hunched over the desk, one hand against her forehead to support the weight of her head, her nose glued inside a thick book. There were numerous other open books that were littered on the desk, dozens of papers filled with chemical formulas rested on the desk, floor and some were even taped to the wall.

Jess was still in her chair, her milky eyes observing Aiden.

It was uncomfortable to be watched so intently, even if it was from Jess, but Aiden did his best to ignore it. Then he realized Jess held an empty plate. He took it from her and sought out Faith's among the litter of books and papers and eventually found her plate still with most of the food he served her.

"Didn't like the food?" He asked the Bliss herald.

"Hmmm?" She didn't lift her gaze from one of the books she paged through.

Now that night had fallen, the lights were turned on which were a lot brighter than the light provided from the sun earlier. Aiden was better able to see how much Faith was sweating. She had ditched her hoodie and garnered a gray long sleeved shirt, the neckline appeared much darker with her sweat.

Unable to help himself, Aiden rested a hand on Faith's forehead. The contact jarred her attention away from her book, she looked at him with slightly wide blue eyes from the sudden touch, but she didn't pull away. Her skin wasn't warm, instead she felt cold and clammy.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked.

Faith finally pulled away from his touch and wiped a sleeve across her forehead. Her movement was quick, but Aiden noticed the shiver of her hand.

"I'm fine." She offered a small smile. There was a soft redness among the whites of her eyes.

"You didn't touch much of your food," Aiden argued and lifted her plate to demonstrate the little that she ate.

Faith sniffled and rubbed her nose before she looked back to her book. "I'm just not very hungry. I still feel sick if I eat too much and meat is very heavy."

Aiden wanted to keep arguing she should eat, it would help her body heal, but he couldn't force her past her limit. And he was worried she would fall ill again if her wound became infected again. Now that he thought about it he didn't know if the sheriff continued to give her the antibiotics she should've been taking while he was gone.

"Okay. I'll find some snacks in case you get hungry later. You need the nutrients." He stood up and looked at the cramped room. Without beds they had to use sleeping bags and only about two would fit. He'd rather Faith get as much sleep as she needed, he could probably take shifts with Jess.

He left to retrieve the sleeping bags and laid them in the center of the office. "Jess, you get some sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours and you can take over guard duty." As usual the woman made no comment, but she immediately obeyed his command and settled into one of the bags. "Faith, you sleep whenever you need to."

She nodded. "I'll turn in a little later. I want to get some more work done first."

Leaving them to their rest and with nothing else to do, Aiden decided to explore the brewery. He hoped he could find whatever supplies the Peggies may have hidden. With any luck maybe he could find a hidden stash of alcohol, no doubt it would greatly improve everyone's mood.

The first place he decided to search was the basement. Seeing the large bucket they used to turn Jess into an Angel made his skin crawl. How many unwilling people did they turn? They were thoughts he didn't want to ponder right now so he set out to search behind all of the barrels and kegs of Bliss that were lined along the basement's wall. After he found nothing hidden he decided to knock on the barrels. It wasn't until after he knocked on a small amount that he felt stupid for doing it. He was acting like he was searching for drugs.

Just as he decided against knocking on the barrels there was finally one that sounded hollow. Curious, Aiden pulled out his knife and pried the top off. Of all the things he was expecting to find inside the last thing he expected was a recorder. The buttons were smooth and worn from use. When he played it his eyebrows lifted in surprise as Faith's voice filled the silent room.

" _Have you seen their faces? On the Pilgrimage? Oh, you should see it. To see the sin fly from their heads and their faces slacken to peace."_

Aiden felt a chill crawl up his spine. As he heard Faith's voice he recalled the image of Jess' face when she was in that large bucket as the Bliss slowly filled it.

" _The vanity shaved from their heads, evil taken from their lips. Never to speak a sinful word, any word, again. It gives me life. Every time a bell rings…"_

The little light on the recorder turned off and nothing else erupted from its speaker. There was something off about Faith's voice, her tone was soft and airy. The way she described the Angels and removing their ability to speak was incredibly creepy. And the last thing she said there was something vaguely familiar about it, but he just couldn't remember.

He shouldn't have felt so shocked, but he did. Faith sounded so different. He wondered why the voice recorder was hidden and what the purpose of it was. There was only one way to find out, so he returned to the office. He half expected to find Faith conveniently asleep, but she was behind the desk, pacing as she mumbled to herself.

"Faith?" Aiden called. He knew she would be distracted with her research so he stepped beside her and pulled the book out of her hands.

The shorter woman huffed and looked at him with that intense glare of hers again. "What is it, Aiden?" Her tone was tense and clipped.

A surge of annoyance struck the male and he quickly swallowed his outburst. He extracted the voice recorder from his pocket and showed it to her. She didn't have to listen to it. There was a knowing look in her eyes the moment she saw it. She sighed and sat down.

Aiden glanced at Jess. He was worried his entrance would have woken her and she would've mistaken his approach to Faith as hostile, but she remained asleep on the ground.

"I always wondered why all the Angels had their heads shaved and their mouths were covered." He tore his gaze away from the sleeping woman and to the one before him. "You're not going to do the same to Jess, are you?"

Faith frowned and scoffed softly. "Of course not. Why would you think I would do that?"

Aiden shrugged. "Why not? You set the standard for the rest of the Angels."

The Bliss herald closed her eyes and sighed. "Angels did most of the work for us. They worked the fields, they worked the construction of our Gate's and the Father's statue. It was easy enough to keep them fed and allow them to rest, but something like showering was more of a luxury. When we had to deal with lice it was easier to shave their hair."

"And their ability to speak? What did you do to silence them?"

"We'd cover their mouths with masks."

Fury ignited within Aiden's veins. "Don't _lie_ to me, Faith!" He kept his voice low, but the anger was clear in his tone and it surprised Faith. Jess grunted, but remained asleep. "I came across some Angels that had their mouths sewn shut. Some people told me they noticed a few even had their tongues removed."

Faith looked surprised by his news, but Aiden dismissed it. It only angered him further. How could she act so surprised when she implied it in her message?

"Why?" He asked. "Why would you mutilate these people?"

Her surprise melted to guilt. Aiden could only feel confused by it all.

"When I recorded that message, the Angel process was still very new. We...I thought that Angels were incapable of speech. To honor their loss of humanity we painted a picture that the Angels were ascending to a higher purpose. They truly do act like they are at peace. You've seen how stoic Jess is. I only meant that their silence was a result of their new purpose." Faith explained.

"Then why mutilate them?" Aiden pressed.

Faith grimaced. "It's rare, but...sometimes Angels do speak. The first time I ever heard one speak she...she begged me to kill her."

Aiden felt his eyebrows raise in surprise. "So what you silence them just to appease your guilt?"

"Something like that," Faith whispered. "But I never wanted them to be _permanently_ silenced! Sewing their mouths is a death sentence if they can't eat and maintain their strength."

"And removing their tongues?"

Faith shuddered. "I never condoned that. That message was like a ritual each time a person was to become an Angel. They needed to be able to obey me as well so they needed to hear my voice as they absorb the Bliss."

"So the Peggies just play this recorder to ensure that happens. And they're free to perceive your ominous message about their silence as they see fit," Aiden wondered aloud.

"Yes," Faith sounded relieved. "You can understand that I can't be everywhere to make sure that everyone didn't...take advantage of others."

Aiden was silent as he thought it over. Part of him didn't believe her, Faith was good at pretending. She admitted it herself. But another part of him was willing to believe her. Despite her willingness to do whatever it took to prove her devotion to the Father and the cult, she wasn't malicious. He may not know Faith well enough, but Tracey confirmed that she was too nice for her own good.

In the end, regardless of how Faith truly felt about Angels she promised to find a reversal. That, at least, he trusted to be true.

With a deep exhale, Aiden tossed the book he took from Faith onto the desk. "Get some rest, Faith. It's been a long day. A fresh mind is probably all you need to figure out the cure."

He was glad she didn't argue. With a subtle nod, she stepped past him and slowly climbed into the vacant sleeping bag. Aiden turned off the light and stepped out of the room to burrow in his thoughts. He _really_ wished the Peggies didn't throw out all of the alcohol.


	27. Blackmail

Ambivalence

Chapter 27: Blackmail

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

The moment Aiden stepped out of the room Faith did her best to relax. She was tired, but sleep would not claim her no matter how long she kept her eyes shut. Between the tremors and body aches she couldn't shake off the anxiety she felt about her research. Especially now with how Aiden seemed to be harboring second thoughts about Jess being an Angel.

The conversation with the junior deputy left Faith feeling even more worried about finding the Angel reversal. What if she couldn't figure it out by the time the Father was arrested? Would she be allowed to continue her research in jail? What if she couldn't figure out a reversal at all? The thought of failure had her heart racing and dread churning in her stomach.

She didn't want to fail her promise to Aiden.

Sleeping was fruitless. If she was to remain awake, she wasted time she could be using to continue her research. Her body protested the movement as she climbed out of the warm sleeping bag. It felt like each hour her body aches increased.

The body aches, tremors, and sweating were all because she's been without a dose for so long. It worried her that she had no means of getting another one before things got a lot worse. Aiden already saw the marks on her arm and it left her feeling mortified and embarrassed. She didn't want to imagine the shame of him seeing her go through the withdrawals.

With renewed determination, Faith turned the lights back on and started organizing her notes. The books helped refresh her memories and she was close to getting back to her original progress before she lost everything at her Gate.

Try as she might, everything she read wasn't sticking. An ache developed right between her brows and steadily grew in intensity the more she read. Frustration brewed in her chest. The pain in her muscles and her leg flared to the point where it became a distraction. She shoved her papers and books away and slumped over the desk, she wrapped her arms around her head and tried to calm her breathing.

It wasn't just her research that she was stressing over. Her thoughts kept going back to what she learned from Aiden and the man that threatened to shoot her. She had no idea that the woman that complained about the construction of the Father's statue had been killed.

She had hoped to meet the woman personally, and she sent people to offer her compensation to warm her up. Faith was confident that with compensation and meeting with her she could convert her to join the Project. She could have been saved like Faith had by joining a community so willing to accept her despite her flaws. But she had been so busy overseeing the statue and making sure that enough Bliss was distributed to her brothers she completely forgot about checking in with the woman. When she failed to hear from her again, she assumed she was satisfied with her offering. But to learn that the woman had been killed? It infuriated her that the people she sent took matters into their own hands. Violence was always her very last resort. And honestly Aiden was the only one to push her to resort to violence.

Furthermore, to learn from Aiden himself that some Angels had been mutilated? Both anger and disappointment filled her. Yes she couldn't be present for every Angel conversion, most of the conversions didn't even need her approval. Countless names were given to her for "re-education" whether it was straying brothers and sisters or the resistance. Faith did her best to meet with them, but she was one person! She was in charge of overseeing the proper creation and distribution of the Bliss on top of looking into improvements of the Bliss itself. There were even cases where some people tried to smuggle more Bliss than what they needed. Then there were her smaller duties such as buying local businesses and properties. She also frequently met with the newest people that sought to join the Project.

Faith accepted the necessity of the Father's cruelty; she knew better than to voice her concern or disagreement with it. The ever-lingering threat of being replaced was like a shadow for her, even after she was officially adopted by the Father, and her image was immortalized in the very image of the family. So instead, she tried to find an alternative to the violence and the very first Angel was created. She still firmly believed it to be a better fate to be at peace in the Bliss over being subjugated to whatever Jacob and John did for their "re-education."

Ignorance is bliss.

It was better to turn a blind eye to whatever her brothers and sisters did. She hoped her different approach to dealing with people would be an example to those that served her and they too would avoid violence. The frustration in her reached a boiling point. Her mother would tell her time and time again that she was so unbelievably naive. Tracey told her she was too nice and trusting in others that didn't deserve it.

Frustration in her stupidity, annoyance and disappointment in her own people, all of the emotions bubbled inside Faith that she felt like she would explode.

As hard as she tried, Faith couldn't stop the tears that swelled in her eyes and eventually slid down her cheeks. The moment she sniffled the dam burst and she was powerless to stop the sobs that clawed out of her throat. They poured out of her so forcefully she struggled to suck in air.

"Hey."

Faith jumped and curled into herself. Tears blurred her vision, but she easily recognized the soothing deep voice that was Aiden. She hadn't heard him enter. The embarrassment of being caught crying like a child overpowered the other emotions that rolled through her body, but she couldn't make herself stop.

Aiden didn't say anything. He didn't scold her for being a cry baby and hungry for attention like her mother would have said. He didn't accuse her of trying to gain pity like her father was fond of telling her. He didn't complain about the uselessness of her tears like Tracey would say. Instead, she felt his warm arms wrap around her and gently pulled her towards his chest.

Faith felt herself crying harder as she melted into his embrace. She had only been hugged twice while she had been crying, both were from the Father. The first time was when she stepped into the Father's church for the first time and everyone took turns talking about themselves. When she fell into tears when she confessed the reasons for her drug abuse the Father embraced her. The second time he embraced her was when she recovered from her drug withdrawals and he had given her her new name, she had cried because she was finally accepted into a family.

Aiden remained silent. He never urged her to stop. The warmth of the embrace was calming. An unknown time later Faith felt utterly drained emotionally, mentally and physically. She didn't want to stray from the physical contact, but she couldn't keep crying on him forever. She immediately felt so much colder when she pulled away from him. Heat warmed her cheeks when she saw the massive damp spot on his shirt that was caused by her tears and running nose.

It was too late to try to maintain any dignity, but with no tissues nearby Faith resorted to using her shirt to wipe her face and nose. She had cried so hard and for so long her breaths came out stuttering and the occasional hiccup escaped.

"What's wrong?" Aiden asked. He didn't look at her with contempt, there was no sarcasm or impatience in his voice. Faith was so used to people's indifference to her, even after seven years with the Project, she almost didn't know how to respond.

"She was right," Faith whispered.

"Who's right? About what?"

"My mother," Faith rubbed her eyes and sniffled, "I'm too naive and stupid. Everything I do is wrong."

A small wrinkle formed between the male's eyebrows. "Why do you feel she's right?"

Faith's inhale stuttered. "I tried to lead by example, like the Father. With the Bliss, I had hoped to avoid violence. But it seems people still resorted to violence even among those that served me."

Aiden was silent for a moment, the wrinkle between his brows creased deeper in his skin. "Even if you were against violence, the rest of the cult accepted it because of the Father. The reason why I'm even here is because of a video that leaked out of the county. The Father killed someone by digging his thumbs into the camera man's eyeballs. Everyone in that church didn't even blink."

Faith looked at him with wide eyes. She had heard the rumors about that incident, but again it was so much easier to remain ignorant and stay focused on her purpose.

The junior deputy exhaled deeply and rubbed a hand on her shoulder ever so gently. His warm hand seemed to carry an electric current, a shiver ran down her spine and traveled further down until she felt a particular throb of want. Faith wanted to return his comforting touch, even just to see if he would physically react the same way as she, but she didn't want to feel the disappointment. There was no way he would feel the same with her touch. Especially not with his lover in the same room as them, even if she was no longer there mentally.

"Do you truly believe your mother is right? That you're naive and stupid?" He asked.

Faith swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. "Yes."

Sadness shadowed over Aiden's face at her admission. "Despite some of the things you did for the cult, I know that deep down you are kind. To someone like Tracey she sees it as being too nice. But there's no shame in believing the best of people, even if some continue to disappoint us. It takes a lot of tenacity to still place that amount of faith in humanity."

She had nothing to say, Faith just kept her gaze downwards, her eyes focused on the large wet stain she left on his shirt from her childish tears.

Aiden lifted her chin with a gentle tug from a finger. His eyes looked so soft and caring, there wasn't a single sliver of judgement in his gaze. Faith felt like she could stare at the beauty of his cyan eyes for hours.

"A smooth talker? Yes. Manipulative? Absolutely. Observant? Very much so. You're a lot of things, Faith. But you're anything but stupid." He gestured to all of the books and notes scattered on the desk. "You've helped create something that not even professionals that have spent over a decade studying could achieve. I highly doubt a fraction of this stuff was taught in high school. You're crazy smart."

A small swell of pride bloomed in Faith's chest and she looked towards the floor again. The Father told her that she was gifted, the scientists she worked with said she was amazing, but strangely as she thought over their compliments, she found their praises empty. It felt like the Bliss itself was appreciated more than she was. Aiden's praise, on the other hand, made her feel like she was appreciated for herself and it brought a smile to her face. Maybe it was because he didn't like the Bliss as the others did? So his acknowledgement felt more personal and wholesome.

Something smooth slid along her left cheek. She looked up and saw it was Aiden's thumb.

"There's that real smile," he told her. "When you truly smile you get a dimple right here," he thumbed the corner of her cheek again.

Faith felt a flutter in her chest. She craved to place her hand over his, but the memory of his rejection of her kiss was still fresh, still stung, so she stayed her hand.

Finally, Aiden pulled his hand away. "And why do you feel like you do everything wrong?"

That was easy to answer. "I failed my purpose. The only thing the Father asked of me was to stay devoted to him, to protect his life with my own. And I failed," she paused and scoffed softly. "And now it seems like my leading by example was fruitless. I tried to be merciful, I wanted people to feel like I did, that they were saved by the Project. I wanted to prove that change didn't have to be a result of violence and suffering. But the people I led still preferred violence over my own methods."

The older male looked sad again. "You didn't fail the Father. Even now you're still devoted to him, in a way."

Faith shook her head. "I announced his hiding location. I provided a means for you and your people to protect yourselves from his defenses. That's not devotion, I betrayed him."

Aiden looked at her curiously. "Is it betrayal? You said he asked you to protect him with your life. You technically drowned for him. I had to resuscitate you. If you ask me, it seems like you did everything he asked of you."

She wasn't convinced. "But now? I've since betrayed him."

"It was for survival," Aiden defended.

Faith wanted to laugh. "I sold out the Father for drugs and…" she bit her tongue before she could admit her feelings to Aiden. He obviously caught her hesitation and looked at her with an eyebrow slightly raised, his eyes urged her to continue. She settled on a more watered-down reason, "...and acceptance."

"That's no different than why you signed up to follow him, isn't it? You said he plied you with drugs. Threatened you. Those things may have convinced you to side with him, but you remained loyal to him so you could be accepted and feel special. Right?"

The Bliss herald inhaled deeply. The quick stab of pain in her ribs served as a means to knock her out of her thoughts. Then she nodded before a yawn escaped her.

Aiden slapped his hands down onto his knees. "Rest, Faith. You'll feel better in the morning."

Feeling utterly drained, the younger woman took his advice and sought out the sleeping bag.

"Anyone tell you that you're awfully bossy at times?" She whispered as she settled into the sleeping bag. Her eyes closed.

Aiden chuckled. "All the time. I'm afraid I turn into a mother bear when it comes to the wellbeing of the people I care about."

Faith's eyes opened at his words. Even if he meant them in a platonic manner her chest tightened with affection. Actions always spoke louder than words and he was always there to shield her from harm, but it was still nice to hear him verbally confirm it. She pulled the sleeping bag so it covered the smile that grew on her face. Her finger unconsciously trailed towards her left cheek; she had no idea she even had a dimple when she smiled. No one ever told her so. And she never smiled when she looked at her own reflection.

Aiden stepped towards the door and Faith felt her heart jump to her throat. She didn't want him to leave just yet.

"Wait," she called to him. He paused and looked back at her, his head tilted in curiosity. "Can you...stay? Just until I fall asleep. Please."

She felt childish for acting so clingy to him, but his mere presence was so very warming and calming. Despite being in the Project's acceptance for years she was still plagued with nightmares that yielded many sleepless nights. The added stress of maintaining her duties and serving her purpose to the Father made sleep even more difficult. But with Aiden nearby she felt like sleep was but a blink away.

The older male was silent, but he complied with her request. He carefully stepped around her and sat on the desk.

"Can I ask you something?" Faith mumbled.

"You just did."

Faith rolled her eyes behind her closed eyelids.

"Go on," Aiden chuckled.

"What do you think I was to the Project? Even though I was part of the family, it felt like I was still not taken seriously."

Aiden hummed. "You were important to the cult in that you were the baby sister. That included the baby sister treatment. You were coddled and spoiled, but ultimately the big brother called all the shots."

Even though she grew up an only child, she understood enough about the hierarchy in families. Aiden's observation was simple, but still on point to how she felt herself.

"You seem to know how siblings act towards each other. Do you have any siblings?" She asked.

"No," Aiden responded.

Another thing they had in common, Faith thought. It was a small thing, but she enjoyed having things to relate to with him. "Did you wish you did?"

"Of course," Aiden replied. "It's lonely to raise an only child."

Faith hummed in agreement. She often wondered how differently things would be if she had a brother or sister, if she was the eldest or youngest.

"Would you have preferred a brother or sister?" She asked.

"I would want both," the deputy said. "A brother to play with, and a little sister to spoil."

Faith chuckled. "Why would you want to spoil a sister?"

"I don't know, it just seems like that's how it should be. As the eldest sibling they should want to take care of their younger siblings, but it just seems natural to want to be protective of the little sister. I'm sure any sister of mine could handle herself, but I would still want to be the annoying older brother that scares away the boys that express interest in dating my baby sister."

"If you would be the overbearing protective big brother, does that mean you would be the overprotective father if you have a daughter?" She had no idea why she was asking these questions. She just wanted to keep Aiden from leaving.

"You know it," Aiden agreed. "Knowing how it is to grow up without siblings, I want at least two kids of my own so they won't have to grow up feeling the same."

Faith smiled at that. She didn't know Aiden long, but she knew him enough to know he'd be a great father. They wouldn't grow up like she did, wondering what something as simple as love was. Wondering how a hug or a kiss on the forehead would feel. To experience being coddled when sick. Praised for any accomplishment no matter how trivial it was.

"What about you?" Aiden's question pulled her from her thoughts. "You want kids?"

She couldn't help but laugh at the question. "Even if I did accomplish to become pregnant sometime a child can't be raised in prison."

Aiden's face fell. "Right. Sorry I asked. I wasn't thinking."

"If...even if things were different, I don't think I would be a good parent."

"What makes you say that?"

Faith sighed. She took a moment to debate on admitting her feelings on children in general. Then she decided she had nothing to lose anyway.

"A baby is a sack of screaming, shitting, crying impulses with no personality, no thoughts, no understanding of the world beyond feelings. It has no soul. You have to give it one. The only soul we ever have, we receive from others." She thought about her so-called parents. She often wondered if the reason she was so passive was because she had only ever known fear and loneliness. "And it is only others who can take it away." She thought of the Father.

Aiden was silent after her mini rant.

"So, you see why I would be a terrible parent?" Faith asked. Then she said in a much lower voice, "what kind of person thinks of babies as soulless? What kind of person does that make me? I would probably be just like my own."

The junior deputy got off the desk and plopped down between Faith and Jess. It was a tight squeeze; he hugged his knees to avoid thumping into either woman.

"I don't think you would be like your parents. Despite the way they raised you, you don't look to hurt others the way you were hurt. You try to look for the best in people instead of expecting their worst. You know how it is to grow up without love. I think you would want to spare your own children from having to experience that type of pain and loneliness." He offered her a small smile. "I think you'll be a great mother. Protective, gentle, and loving."

Faith swallowed the lump in her throat. "Too bad I'll never find out."

They sat in silence for a moment. Faith hadn't realized her eyes closed until Aiden started speaking which made her feel a little more alert. "And your outlook on babies is definitely...full on glass empty. Like it's not even half empty for you, it's just _empty_. But, with your upbringing I completely understand your perspective. In some ways it's true, you know with the whole nature versus nurture debate." He glanced at the desk. "Plus, you're a scientist at heart. Your outlook is based more on logic rather than emotion."

As always, Aiden knew just what to say to make her feel better. She recalled he was more interested in what made people feel and think the way they did. He was definitely wasting his talents in law enforcement.

Faith hadn't realized she fell asleep until she woke up the next morning. Or was it the afternoon? Aiden was asleep next to her and Jess sat in her chair, her milky eyes watching the door.

Her back felt horrible. Despite sleeping on a very uncomfortable cot for the last week or two, sleeping on concrete was worse. Her back crackled and popped as she slowly climbed to her feet as quietly as she could manage. She only managed to step outside of the office when her entire body screamed, it was difficult to fight the urge to throw herself back in the sleeping bag and sleep the muscle aches away. Her stomach felt just as horrible, she knew it was a matter of hours until she felt even worse.

It was humorous how after her time in jail she became used to seldom showers. Before she needed to start her day with a shower so she wouldn't feel so dirty. But after all of the sweating she's done for the last 24 hours she was eager to feel clean again. Unfortunately, the brewery didn't have showers so she had to settle for a sort of sponge bath. She sweated throughout the evening so her clothes were damp which made her feel even more gross. She made a mental note to find a change of clothes from the office.

Despite how she felt physically, mentally she did feel refreshed. A full night's sleep was such a godsend to her. She was eager to return to her research while she still felt tolerable.

Faith hadn't expected for a blurred object to shove her back into the women's restroom the moment she stepped out. A hand clamped onto her mouth to silence her yelp of surprise. Burning pain flared along her back when she was pushed against the wall.

Her heart thumped like a hummingbird; it was the man that had threatened to shoot her for revenge of the woman that was killed for complaining about the Fathers statue. She struggled to pull out of his grip, but he pressed his free arm against her upper chest and his lower body pinned her legs against the wall. Her scream for help was muffled behind his hand.

His smile was predatory and hatred shined in his eyes. He leaned forward so he could whisper into her ear, Faith felt her entire body shudder. "Don't worry, I prefer my women to be willing."

Fear paralyzed Faith. She tried to bite his hand, but he kept a firm grip on her jaw. He was practically twice her size and his body easily smothered her against the tiled wall. She struggled to maintain some semblance of calm. He had to ease off of her if he meant to do what he implied. Once he created some distance she would strike. Or at the very least call for Aiden. Maybe even Jess.

The man must've planned this. With the arm holding her chest back, he reached behind his waist and then Faith's ears perked at the sound of metal clicking. Then she felt the cool kiss of metal press against the bottom of her chin.

"You move and I blow your pretty head right off. You do as much as open your mouth and I'll decorate these walls with your brain."

As much as Faith didn't want to cry in front of the man, she couldn't prevent the tears of fear from swelling in her eyes. It was one thing to feel confident in defending against assault, it was another thing entirely to experience it. The way he was able to easily overpower her nearly drained her will to fight back, the gun he pressed against her skin was successful to completely rob the little fight she had within her.

"And you'll do well to keep this secret between us, right? You wouldn't want me to go announcing to everyone that you're still alive. Imagine the fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, hell even the orphans you made would want to do to you?"

Faith hated that tears traveled down her cheeks.

"So how 'bout we make a little arrangement? Depending on your performances I'll remain silent." He smiled wickedly at her. "This brings back memories, doesn't it, Jessop?"

Realization dawned on Faith and she suddenly felt sick. In the back of her mind she had thought he looked familiar. Take away his beard and tattoos and she remembered a kid from high school. He was a senior when she was a freshman. He didn't deal drugs directly, but he had the connections. When she had approached him for information on a dealer, he was only willing to part for the information in return for sex.

She had refused. But he didn't take her rejection kindly. He had a lot of pull with the dealers at school, she supposed it had something to do with his status as a star baseball player. So, he arranged for every dealer to refuse business with her. She had eventually become so desperate she nearly accepted his offer. That was until she met Tracey. She didn't know what her former friend did to him, but he lifted her ban with the other dealers. But he hated her for it, some of the bullying she endured at school was because of him.

He chuckled as he dragged the barrel of his pistol along her slender throat. "In school you were still scrawny. But the last several years have treated you well. Guess it's a good thing you joined the Peggies, those drugs would have ruined your beauty."

He scrutinized her appearance and then his smile grew. "Or maybe you still snuck your hand in the cookie jar, huh? Who knows, if you do well enough I may even throw in a little something extra. My treat."

Faith felt her body shudder in repulsion, but it wasn't just from what he was offering. She was also disgusted with herself that she was almost willing to accept his offer just so she could have another dose. She hated how pathetic she became.

She watched as he did something to the gun and then he slowly pulled the barrel back. Despite her lack of knowledge in using firearms, she knew enough that he was cocking the gun. Again. No doubt it was to make her more nervous and afraid, and it worked. She should have done something while he had his hands off of her, but fear had paralyzed her.

Movement behind him caught her attention. He must've noticed her eyes drift because his eyes widened and he turned to look behind him. Faith saw a woman, she recognized her from Jess' group, her own handgun aimed within an inch from her former school mate's head.

"Or I could butt in and make a new arrangement?" She held a revolver and pulled the hammer back with her thumb, the audible click loud in the silent room. "Put that gun away, Brad, before you hurt yourself. Let's take a little walk outside, shall we? Depending on _your_ performance I won't have to shoot someone who isn't a Peggie."

More memories flooded through Faith. So, Brad was his name. He looked the same as he did in high school, with the exception of his beard and tattoos. He almost looked strange to her without his Letterman jacket. He caught her gaze and scowled. His angry expression reminded her all too well of how he would glare at her each time they passed each other in school. She just wanted to melt into the floor and pretend none of this happened.

He turned to glare at her and Faith felt as if ice ran through her veins and she struggled to breathe. She feared he would shoot her. She was trapped between the small space between a stall and the wall.

Breathing became easier when he offered the woman his gun in an open palm, she slowly took it, but never lowered the gun from his head.

"Come on, Mr. Star-Cougar-Pitcher. Let's go for that walk."

Even after the two left the bathroom, Faith still couldn't muster the energy to move her legs. Her chest felt so awfully tight, no matter how much she inhaled it felt like her lungs just weren't getting any oxygen. The room began to spin so furiously she was afraid she would become sick all over herself.

"Hey."

Faith hadn't realized she was on the floor, her knees pressed against her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked up and saw it was the woman that saved her. The woman was very slow as she approached her, her hands were up to show she was empty handed. Faith felt tense when the woman touched her arm.

"Easy there, you're okay now. See? No one's here, but me."

The Bliss heralds breathing still came shallowly and she tried to curl into herself more.

"No more of that, yeah? Look at me."

The touch on her arm helped ground Faith. She slowly complied with the woman's order and looked up at her. The woman was maybe about twenty years older than her, black hair hung around her shoulders, sky blue eyes, and a burn scar crawled from under her shirt and snaked up onto her right cheek.

"That's it. Now look behind me. How many sinks are there?"

The younger woman's darker blue eyes drifted to the side. It felt like the room was still spinning, but she managed to count the sinks. "Two."

"Good, good. And how many mirrors?"

Faith frowned. Was there supposed to be more than just the one large mirror? "One."

"Do you know where you are?"

Where was she again? There were sinks and the large mirror showed the reflection of two toilet stalls. Faith felt herself nod. "The restroom."

"Yep. You're safe now. You want to go outside? The deputy is waiting for you."

Could she go outside to face Aiden? Did he arrest her former classmate? Faith didn't want to think about the complications she caused him. What if he was upset with her?

"If you don't want to see him, I can tell him to piss off."

Faith shook her head. The room wasn't spinning anymore and she just now realized her breathing was deeper, her lungs weren't crying for oxygen. She still felt shaky as she stood, the woman offered her own arm to help her up.

Faith felt utterly speechless. She would expect Aiden to treat her this way, but not some stranger. Especially a stranger that was with the resistance.

"Why did you help me?" Faith blurted.

The woman looked at her with a raised eyebrow and then shrugged. "I'm not one to just sit idly by and let a man force himself on someone even if that person is a Peggie."

"But—but he wouldn't have forced me," Faith didn't even know why she was defending Brad. It was easier to think he was giving her the option to refuse him rather than being forced.

The woman scoffed. "Maybe at first. But the moment you changed your mind and said no, do you think he would have accepted that?"

The thought sent another chill down her back. Soon she felt relieved and grateful the woman helped her. It would have been easier to keep on with her business.

"Thank you," Faith whispered. Then guilt hung deep inside her chest. They were on opposing sides in the county's conflict and she chose to lend a helping hand to an enemy. Had Faith hurt her in some way? Or hurt someone close to her? She wondered how she received that burn scar.

The woman shrugged before she gently pulled Faith towards the exit. "Yeah well, at least you're on our side now, right? Better late than never. Just don't make me regret this."

Before Faith could reply, they stepped out of the lavatory. Aiden was indeed waiting outside, pacing and looking beside himself. There was a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows, a mixture of worry and anger displayed on his face.

Faith felt herself becoming rooted on the spot again. She knew Aiden wouldn't be angry with her, she didn't do anything, but she couldn't shake the fear that he would become angry with her for causing a problem. It was a fear she developed because of her parents. Anytime she got in trouble at school her parents would become furious with her for causing problems, even if she wasn't at fault. With the Father, well she did her absolute best not to cause him any issues. She knew what would result in that.

Aiden stopped his pacing when he heard the door slam shut. Upon seeing her his eyes softened, he took three long strides and was next to her. He looked conflicted about something, but he kept a small distance from her.

"Are you okay?" His eyes quickly searched her over. His roaming eyes were nothing like her former schoolmate, he merely checked her over for any injuries.

Faith finally found her voice, but she couldn't help but wrap her arms around her torso. "I'm fine. Thanks to…" she turned to the woman beside her.

"Janna," the scarred woman replied.

Aiden ran his hand over his face and sighed deeply. Faith felt that tingle of fear.

"I'm sorry," she whispered automatically.

Both the junior deputy and the older woman looked at her as if she grew a second head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Aiden told her gently. He looked like he wanted to grab a hold of her arm, but he still refrained from touching her. "Come on, let's get you some breakfast."

She was led back to the office. Faith immediately felt better, the room was familiar and she breathed easier. Jess was still on her chair, her bow on her lap, her white eyes staring straight ahead.

"Protect her, Jess." Aiden ordered before he left the room.

Eager to get out of her sweat soaked clothes, Faith quickly searched for clothing that might fit her. She found a pair of dark blue jeans that were a little long but fit her perfectly. Black was her preferred color of a shirt to hide her sweat stains and the only black shirt in the pile had a large Hope County Cougar emblem. She scoffed as she donned the shirt.

Aiden was still gone. She sat behind the desk and waited. Her mind was still reeling from what happened and she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate if she resumed her research. At least she felt safe in the room, even more so with Jess guarding her.

It was all so ironic. The biggest thorn in her side had been the resistance faction that referred to themselves as the Hope County Cougars and she was responsible for hurting and killing so many of them, some were turned to Angel's. Yet one of those resistance people helped her when she could have turned a blind eye.

How differently would things work out if she hadn't joined the Project? For one thing she knew Tracey would still be her best friend. Would she and Aiden have still met? Would she still have developed feelings for him? The next thought formed a lump in her throat. Would he still have rejected her if she tried to kiss him?

She jumped when the door suddenly opened and Aiden stepped inside holding a stack of plates. He gave one to Jess before he ordered her to eat, and then handed her one.

Breakfast looked to be more of last night's venison and scrambled eggs. She wondered where they managed to find fresh eggs. The smell of the food made her mouth water and her stomach cramped. She quickly tore into the food. It served as a good distraction.

Aiden gave her some time in peace to eat, not that Faith minded. She didn't know what to say so she appreciated their comfortable silence. Once they were both done with their meals, he took her empty plate and placed it aside.

"Faith, I need to know what happened. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me I can bring Janna in here."

She shook her head. "No that's okay." She took a deep breath and explained everything to Aiden. He remained silent and gave her his complete attention, but there were a few times where his jaw clenched.

When she finished her side of the story Aiden looked like he wanted to comfort her again, but he still kept his distance. Faith hated it. Of all times she felt she needed his comfort the most was now. But she couldn't think of a way to tell him that.

"He didn't touch you? Or force you in any way?"

The younger woman shook her head. "He just kept me pinned on the wall until he threatened me with his gun. Nothing else beyond that."

He nodded and exhaled deeply.

"Did I cause any problems?"

Aiden looked at her in bewilderment again. "Of course not. This mess is _his_ fault. _He_ approached you and threatened you." The anger in his eyes fizzled. "I arrested him, by the way. Sharky will be taking him to jail soon. The sheriff will keep an eye on him."

Faith bit her lip in concern.

"What's wrong?"

"What if he tells everyone where I am? He won't be the only one angry with me."

"We'll keep him separate from everyone. He won't be running his mouth to anyone but the sheriff."

That still didn't make her feel any better. But there was nothing she could do for the time being. And she was mostly happy everything turned out okay.

"I never asked Janna how she snuck in without being heard," Faith mused aloud.

"She said she was in one of the stalls and was waiting for you to leave. Then that's when Brad attacked. She watched him through the mirror and when he pulled out the gun she just waited for an opening."

Faith felt her chest swell with gratitude again. Between Janna's help and Aiden who always treated her so kindly, Faith felt motivated to return to her research. She would find a reversal for the Angels. It was the least she could do to undo all of the things she did to these people.

* * *

Aiden occupied his day writing makeshift reports from Faith and the woman that helped her, Janna. He would have a third one written from Brad, but he refused to talk. He gave Sharky the paperwork to hand to the sheriff when he would deliver the guy to the jail.

Part of him was worried about what Faith had said. No doubt Brad would blab to anyone within hearing distance of Faith's survival and her location. It would only take one person to hear him.

He couldn't risk people arriving in droves looking to harm Faith. Thankfully he had his radio and asked Sharky to warn him if people did find out. In the meantime, he put aside a vehicle should he and Faith have to make a quick escape.

There was not much else for him to do after the mess was settled. And it took a lot of his willpower to keep himself from slugging Brad. The thought of him trying to blackmail Faith in return for sexual favors infuriated him. Though he supposed it could have been worse. He was grateful that Janna intervened.

Sadly, something like this wasn't new to him. During his time as a prison guard he was exposed to a few cases of blackmail, rape and attempted rape. It was why he forced himself to keep his distance from Faith. He didn't want to add to her possible trauma, but she put up a strong front. Not long after the attack she acted like nothing happened and she returned to her books.

As complicated as the woman was, he couldn't help but to admire her. Yes, she sided with bad people and did horrible things for the sake of being accepted by them, but in the end, he couldn't fault her for it all. She was human and made mistakes. Huge mistakes that she would sadly have to pay for the rest of her life.

The thought of seeing her spend the rest of her life in jail saddened him. It felt like such a waste for someone like her.

There wasn't much for him to do at this point. He tried sneaking about the brewery to see how the others would react to Brad's arrest, but no one expressed any anger. Most agreed it was his own fault for testing a deputy from doing his job. Aiden was thankful for that small mercy.

Besides the arrest, Aiden's second highlight of the day was reporting to the sheriff and catching him up to speed on everything, but his boss had news of his own. The few remaining Chosen planes were defending the Father's island. That bought Faith some time to continue her research, at least.

Speaking of the Bliss herald, Aiden though, he grew worried each time he checked on her throughout the day. Her sweating became worse and when they both settled for the evening on the second night at the brewery, she did develop a fever.

"I'm fine, Aiden," she told him and turned her back to him, ending their conversation.

He wasn't going to let the subject just stop. "No, you're not," he argued, "if your infection came back…"

"My leg is fine."

"Show me."

The woman sighed and sat up. "If I show you that it's fine will you leave it be?"

"That depends," Aiden stood to turn the lights on. "If it's not your leg then what if it's another injury? One of the open welts on your back-"

"If it is an infection will you take me back to jail?" Even though Faith kept her face neutral there was a tiny shake in her voice. Her eyes displayed fear.

"No, I'll have to get Sharky to play delivery boy again. He won't be happy about it."

Faith looked relieved.

She then unwrapped the bandages from her leg and waited for Aiden to look. The wound was there, still slowly healing, but there was no pus, no inflamed skin around the bullet wound, and no red lines spreading across her thigh. Afterwards she turned away from him and lifted her shirt to expose her back.

Anger still rushed through Aiden when he peered over the many dark purple and blue bruises that marred her smooth milky skin. The red welts looked to be healing, the ones that split the skin looked to be in the early phases of scabbing, but there was no sign of infection.

Despite her injuries and illness Faith never complained. While the stress looked to be taking its toll on her, she refrained from snapping at him when he constantly reminded her to rest and eat. Aiden himself became mighty cranky whenever he was in pain. For Faith to show that restraint and keep on studying her books it only heightened his admiration for her.

He glanced at Jess. As usual, she remained silent as she sat on her chair and watched the door for any intruders looking to harm Faith. Two days of her silence, her white blank eyes, and having to treat her more like a robot than a human was maddening. He missed her restlessness for action. He missed her voice. He simply missed _her_. But knowing that she was the cause of Faith's injuries he still felt a flush of anger as he watched her. Despite what she did, Faith still saved her life. And now worked on bringing her back to normal.

"See?" Faith's tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She had lowered her shirt and was wrapping her leg with fresh bandages. "I'm fine."

He still wasn't convinced. "If that were true you wouldn't have a fever."

"It's...just the flu." She shrugged. "It'll pass."

Finally, he decided to let the subject drop for now. It was late and Faith had been researching tirelessly for two days. Her eyes and shoulders drooped in exhaustion.

Aiden figured he was just acting a little too concerned because he was feeling a bit stir crazy. He would only sit in one place long enough to heal, and those days consisted of him mostly just sleeping. But now that he was perfectly fine and was just playing the waiting game, he was feeling anxious.

Faith returned to her sleeping bag. Within moments her breathing slowed, she fell asleep. Aiden followed suit and climbed into the second sleeping bag he shared with Jess. Sleep was slow to claim him. He dreamt of Jess, Sharky, Grace and all of his other friends. They all approached him with milky white eyes, their arms outstretched towards him looking to claw and rip him apart. Despite the gun in his hands, he couldn't bring himself to shoot any of them.

He was startled awake by a hand shaking him. His movement was automatic and he nearly reached for his handgun, but he recognized Faith's voice in the thickness of his groggy mind.

The room was still dark. A gentle glow of the moon light shined through the window and when the rays struck Faith it made her light-colored hair appear almost white. Aiden felt his breath get caught in his throat as he looked at her. His heart thumped faster as she smiled at him. He couldn't see it with the little light, but he knew her smile was wide enough to form that little dimple on her cheek. He squashed the urge to reach for it with his thumb.

"What? What's wrong?" He looked around and found Jess was still seated, unmoving.

"I figured it out," Faith grinned and stood. She offered him her hands and helped pull him to his feet.

Aiden felt his heart beat ever faster and his head felt light. "You mean the cure?"

Faith nodded and stepped towards the desk. "I couldn't sleep," she muttered, "so I went back to work. The easy part is done, at least."

The junior deputy frowned at her words and reached for the lights. How did Faith manage to study in the dark? The natural light from the moon lit up her working area well, but surely it must've strained her eyes.

"Why didn't you turn on the lights?"

Faith shrugged. "I didn't want to wake you."

Aiden didn't know what to say. She strained her eyes just so he wouldn't be disturbed? Her kindness was truly something else. He couldn't fathom how anyone could even consider treating her the way she had gone through before the cult.

Faith reached for a paper and showed it to him. The mess of letters and numbers only confused him. Then he realized the bottom portion of the paper had a list of chemicals.

"The easy part?" He echoed her words.

"It's one thing to figure out what I'll need to inject into an Angel to bring them back. But the compound itself is unstable if it's not made correctly. That was the tricky thing to figure out. And I'll still need to work on actually making it."

"And these?" Aiden tapped the paper with a finger. "This is what you'll need?"

Faith nodded, but she looked away and bit her lower lip. "However, one of the things I'll need I can't get it here."

"Point me where to go and I'll get it," Aiden said automatically. He glanced at Jess and smiled; he was eager to get his friend back. And all of the other people that were turned to Angels. A stab of guilt struck him when he realized the many Angels he's killed before could have been spared and they too could have been brought back.

"That's the thing," Faith explained. "What I need is the water from the hot springs from the King's Hot Springs Hotel. If the water cools, I can't use it. Reheating it is out of the question; it will ruin the compounds in the water."

Relocating concerned him. While the hotel had been liberated by the resistance, it would mean exposing Faith to more people. Unless he tried hiding her identity again. But how could he explain her doing some science experiment with the hot springs?

Faith knew what he was thinking. "I'm done hiding, Aiden." She stood taller and lifted her chin. "The resistance won't trust me and some will want to hurt me, I understand that and deserve it. But I know they won't do anything until I'm done with the cure. Once I create it and bring Jess back...well we can cross that bridge when it comes."

A great, heavy sigh escaped the junior deputy. Despite the risk, what Faith stated was true. A lot of people lost their loved ones when they were turned into an Angel. With the prospect of getting them back, it would be enough to tame their hatred for the woman standing before him. Until she presented the reversal. Once that time came, he would just have to do what he's been doing best for the last few weeks and smuggle her to safety. Hopefully by then they can finally approach the Father and be done with this nightmare.


	28. Withdrawals

Ambivalence

Chapter 28: Withdrawals

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

* * *

As Faith dreaded, the very day that they planned to leave for King's Hot Springs Hotel her symptoms became worse. In addition to her already unbearable body aches she developed a painful stomach cramp. The cramps became so bad so quickly she spent the remainder of her time at the brewery curled up on the cold bathroom floor.

She was somewhat grateful Aiden never stepped into the bathroom to see her like this. When they waited for her and she didn't show up Janna checked on her.

"Hey, you okay there?"

Faith was so feverish the older woman's hand felt cool when she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm okay," Faith muttered. Just talking made her mouth water with nausea. She forced herself to climb to her feet and hoped she could last until they arrived at the hotel. "I think the meat I ate was bad," was her excuse.

Faith returned to the office to make sure Aiden had packed everything. The room was now bare from all of the books, papers and lab equipment. The sooner they got to the hotel the better. She placed a hand over her stomach and groaned. She hoped she could continue to hide the real reasons for her illness from Aiden.

She headed outside and found Janna helping Aiden and Jess. The woman offered to go with them to the hotel which made Faith feel a little safer. They were about to get into the pickup truck when an older man approached them.

The man looked to be in his late forties, his black hair was dusted with gray on the sides and his skin had a leathery appearance that was a result from long hours under the sun.

"Howard," Janna greeted him.

By instinct, Faith took a step back. Would this man try to attack her? Was he friends with Brad and would try to argue about his innocence?

The older man noticed her weariness. He offered her a tired and sad smile, his arms lifted to his waist level.

"I mean no harm," he announced. He didn't look at Janna or even Aiden, Faith noticed he kept his gaze on her. But his eyes held no malice, no hate. She could only see a deep sorrow.

"Is it true? You figured out a way to cure, err," he looked to Jess and bobbed his chin at her, "you can cure her condition?"

Faith blinked and then nodded. "It's still a work in progress, but yes."

Something flashed in the man's eyes, a spark of life. Hope. "My family," he explained, "when I refused to sell your brother, John, my farm or my produce, he took my family. After the deputy helped us folks in Holland, I tried to track down my wife and sons. They were given to you to become Angels."

Faith grimaced. She was always told the people she was given to be converted to Angels were lost causes. The Father would tell her he had the highest confidence that she was their final hope to be saved or become at peace. Being turned into an Angel was never a punishment, he said, it was simply releasing the person from life's cruelty. In the Bliss they would be happy, at peace, and the temple of their soul would serve a greater purpose. It had been so easy to agree with the Father's reasoning for converting people into Angels.

But the thought of being handed innocent hostages made her insides twist. And after hearing Aiden's perspective of turning people into Angels being no better than granting death, well she was having second thoughts about the Father's words.

A sick realization struck her. Was she any better than Brad? He presented two choices to her, refuse him and suffer the consequences. Or she could agree to his terms, but the line between consent and force would become blurred.

When she was given a person to ultimately be converted, she gave them two choices. Walk the Path, join the Project, serve their purpose and find happiness like she had. Or become an Angel. The Father said they would be happy in the Bliss, all of their worldly sins and wants would be taken away and result in peace. But as Aiden said, how could they know they were truly happy if their free will to speak was robbed?

She remembered that day when one of the Angels spoke to her. She was a young girl, no older than Faith herself. She only managed to mutter the words "please" and "kill." When it sounded like she would say "me" Faith had been so startled she didn't hear the final word she spoke amidst her panic, but the movement of her lips looked like she muttered "me." Back then she felt wrong to hear something that went against the Father's words. She didn't want the temptation to doubt the Father, she didn't want him to detect a crack in her devotion to him and look for a replacement. Going against the Father's words were considered sinful. So ever since that day she declared Angels would cease to speak another sinful word, any word.

Faith just hadn't expected her people to use her words to remove their ability to speak permanently.

The man continued to speak; his voice pulled Faith out of her thoughts.

"I don't know where they are yet. Please, Faith," the man took a careful step closer. "I heard what that boy tried to do to you, and sadly he won't be the only one. Too many have been hurt by your people and they're eager to take it out on anyone. If...if I help you, protect you while you work on the cure, I only ask that you use it to save my family. Please, whatever you want that I have it's yours. Just please spare and save my family."

Faith swallowed the dry lump that formed in her throat. She should be angry and hurt that the man was only swearing to protect her at a cost. She dealt with people like that all her life, people only being kind to her for something in return. Sex, drugs, help for better grades, money, the list went on. But she wronged this man first. She was so happy to be accepted into a loving family, and now she had to own up to her brother's actions.

"I would appreciate your help," she smiled, but then let it fall. With this man and the other people in the resistance she didn't need to play sweet, innocent Faith. Not anymore. "I will make the cure, and it will be yours to use. I'll help you find your family. But you owe me nothing. I won't take more from you."

The man's face slackened with relief. He moved quickly and suddenly gripped Faith's hands in his own. Jess growled and took a step towards them, but immediately paused when the man failed to do anything but practically kiss her fingers.

"Thank you." He looked towards their truck. "I have everything I need," he pulled away and lifted his shoulder to show the rifle that was slung on it. "I'll protect you day and night with my life."

Faith held his gaze. He spoke the truth. Finally, she nodded.

"I'm afraid you'll have to ride in the bed," Aiden told him with a smile. "And we leave now."

The ride to the hotel was long and every bump they hit aggravated Faith's churning stomach, but she held on. She didn't want to embarrass herself by becoming sick in front of everyone. As they approached the hotel Faith's resolve threatened to crumble, she told Aiden she was done hiding from the resistance, but the opportunity to be open about her survival was still nerve wracking. As they drove onto the hotels parking lot there was already a small group eyeing them, they were driving in a white truck stamped with the Project's symbol after all. By the time they parked and Faith climbed out of the vehicle she struggled not to go sprinting into the trees, by sheer willpower she managed to keep whatever was left in her system down.

The farmer that swore to protect her was true to his word. He kept to the front of Faith, his gaze looking in every which way, his rifle in his hands. The people at the hotel were quick to recognize Aiden at least, most of them visibly relaxed and some returned to patrolling the hotel's grounds.

Of course, Faith wasn't immediately noticed without her signature white dress. In jeans, a Hope County Cougar shirt, and a gray hoodie, she was hidden in plain sight until she stepped into the hotel. With most of the bruises on her face and black eye healed, people's eyes widened upon seeing her, many whispered to each other as they openly stared.

One of the men, most likely the one in charge of the group, stepped towards Aiden. "What's going on, deputy?" He asked. His gaze was focused mostly on Faith. Her fists tightened and she swallowed all of the excess saliva that rapidly pooled in her mouth. She refused to become sick in front of everyone, but the fear was making her nausea worse.

Aiden gave a similar explanation when Faith's identity was revealed at the brewery. Faith was indeed alive and his prisoner. With Janna, Jess and Howard, the farmer, all standing around her it did give the impression that she was guarded as a prisoner. There were still looks of disdain cast her way, but no one expressed hostility towards her like Brad had. More people looked apprehensive with Jess' presence.

"And why do you have an Angel with you? Why isn't she attacking?" The same man asked.

The junior deputy squared his shoulders. "She saved me from a Peggie and was fatally wounded as a result. To save her life we turned her into an Angel."

Some people looked at him in shock. More whispered to each other.

"Faith has been helping us. She's working on a cure to bring my friend back."

"Is that why you're here?"

Faith steeled her nerves and spoke up. All eyes immediately turned to her. "I need to use the water from the hot springs. It will help immensely if it isn't touched or have anything dumped into it."

The leader of the group pulled Aiden aside and spoke to him softly out of earshot. They didn't talk long though, afterwards Aiden led Faith to one of the vacant rooms on the second floor.

"So, everyone would feel safer if you remained in this room," Aiden explained, "if you need anything just let me know."

Faith couldn't say she was surprised. Considering how she was feeling she was okay with being bound to the room. "Once I set up the equipment, I'll need fresh water from the hot springs."

Aiden nodded and left to get a folding table for her and helped set up her makeshift lab. Once he left Faith alone, she felt her resolve dissolve. Her stomach churned painfully and she just made it into the bathroom. Minutes later she had been reduced to dry heaving when she heard a knock from her room door. With a groan, she stood and swayed towards the door. Aiden stood there with a beaker filled most likely with the hot springs water. He looked at her with a concerned expression. Faith noticed Jess and Howard stood beside her room door.

"You okay?" He asked.

Faith wiped some sweat from her brow and nodded. She didn't trust her voice from the bile and stomach acid she purged from her system. She took the beaker from him and returned to her lab equipment. Aiden didn't linger, thankfully, and she was left alone for the rest of the day. But her illness continued. She couldn't work on a cure sample long enough before she would become sick. The hot springs water would grow cold by the time her heaves stopped. She wasn't sure what Aiden did while she tried to work on the cure, it seemed like each time she poked her head out of the hotel room Aiden was nearby and ready to fetch whatever she needed.

There were always people from the resistance that seemed to keep an eye on her when she stepped out to get Aiden's attention, but between Jess, Janna and Howard she was always guarded, and she had no need to leave her room with Aiden visiting to give her food and water.

It was well into the late evening when Faith decided to simply give up and practically camp inside the bathroom. Her stomach cramps flared much too painfully if she so much as tried to stand up. The bathroom floor felt soothing against her fevered skin. A weak groan escaped her raw throat when she heard a knock. She curled herself into a tighter ball.

 _Please just go away_ , Faith thought.

The knocking continued for another minute until she heard the door open.

 _Go away_ , she wanted to say, but her throat hurt too much to vocalize her thoughts.

A louder knock erupted from the bathroom door this time. Faith slowly climbed onto her knees, but it wasn't to answer the door. Her stomach churned painfully again and she had to lean into the toilet and vomited for the umpteenth time that day. By the time she finished she barely had the energy to flush the toilet. She rested her face against the toilet seat and closed her eyes, tears leaked out from her eyelids.

Her ears perked upon the sound of another door opening and she jolted when something warm brushed against her back.

"It's okay, it's me," Aiden's voice said softly. His hand rubbed a small circle on her upper back. The motion felt heavenly against her tense muscles. "Janna said you had food poisoning."

Embarrassment flooded through Faith; she must look like an absolute mess.

"I noticed you haven't touched your food."

Faith groaned at his words, she felt bile rise into her throat again but she refused to be sick in front of Aiden.

"Have you been like this all day?" He asked. Her response was another groan and a nod. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Faith swallowed despite the horrid taste in her mouth. She tried to speak, but couldn't manage it, she shook her head.

Aiden stood and stepped out for a moment. When he returned he handed her a bottled water. Faith shook her head again. She couldn't even keep water down.

"Drink, Faith." He twisted the cap off and offered her the bottle again. "If you've been like this all day you're badly dehydrated. Even if you throw it back up you'll still absorb some of the water."

If the junior deputy hadn't been practically shoving the bottle in her face, Faith would have continued to refuse it. But water would cool the fire that was her throat. She finally accepted the bottle and took a small sip.

"There you go, small sips." Aiden resumed rubbing her back as she took another sip.

After a third her stomach threatened to rebel so she ceased. It was a mistake anyhow, her mouth watered with nausea again. Her cheeks felt molten in shame and embarrassment when she failed to keep the water down. At least the water didn't burn her throat as it came back up. When she was done, she realized Aiden held her hair back and continued to rub small circles between her shoulder blades.

A few minutes passed and Faith tried a little more water. Nausea stayed at bay and her stomach cramps eased ever so slightly. It seemed like the worst of her illness settled. For now.

Aiden grabbed one of the towels from the nearby wall rack and soaked it in the sink before he squeezed the excess water from it and began to dab at Faith's face. She was much too tired to feel embarrassed anymore and she enjoyed the way Aiden was taking care of her. Her parents never did this for her even when she was a child, the Father didn't either when she went through her withdrawal the first time. He had checked in on her, offered her soothing words, gave her a dose of scopolamine to ease her nausea, but he never physically took care of her. The Bliss herald hadn't realized she fell asleep until she felt Aiden's strong arms scoop her up.

"Where?" Talking flared her raw throat and tears swelled in her eyes.

"You need to rest," Aiden responded as he stepped into the room and gently placed her onto the bed.

"No," Faith whispered. She tried to force her eyes open, tried to pull out of his hold, but she was utterly drained of all energy. A small sigh escaped her lips when her aching body sunk into the soft mattress. "Need to," she yawned, "work."

A cool, damp cloth pressed against her face and wiped the sweat off of it. She managed to force one eye open and saw a large blurry figure sitting on the bed next to her. Maybe it was from her delirium from the fever, or from her exhaustion, maybe a combination of both, but Faith felt her lips pull into a weak smile and she reached for one of Aiden's hands. His hand was so much larger than hers, but his skin was warm and soft. She hummed in satisfaction when he didn't pull out of her grasp, she settled deeper into the covers and welcomed sleep.

* * *

Aiden waited patiently for Faith to fall into a comfortable slumber. When he felt her grip slacken, he carefully freed his hand. As creepy as it was he couldn't help but watch her for a moment or two. She looked peaceful while she slept and even more beautiful. It was odd to admire her striking looks now after he witnessed her in a very vulnerable state. He pretended to be unaware of the true reason why she was sick, but he admired the strong front she put. Despite how miserable she was she still pushed herself to work on the cure. She never complained and tried so hard to keep her condition hidden.

But he did wonder, why didn't she want to admit she was going through a drug withdrawal? Why pretend it was food poisoning? He would ask her later. For now he tidied up her room. He left a trash can next to her bed, just in case, then he took away the untouched food he brought her earlier, and fetched more water bottles.

Faith was probably able to sleep for an hour before she woke up ill. He kneeled next to her and did his best to comfort her, rubbed her back and held her hair out of the way. When she finished Aiden pressed a hand to her forehead. Her fever wasn't as severe when her leg wound got infected, but he didn't like how long she had been burning with fever. He turned and reached to turn on the shower.

Faith looked confused as she watched him. He left his hand under the spray until the water was decently cool. "Stay in the water for a few minutes so your temperature can go down a bit," he instructed. Before Faith could refuse, Aiden left the room to give the Bliss herald her privacy. He intended to head to the kitchen to find anything to help her stomach, tea or maybe even some soup broth or something so she could have a little something in her system.

Howard was guarding Faith's room, and he seemed to guess Aiden's destination correctly. "Mint or ginger tea."

Aiden paused and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Pardon?"

The older male nodded his head towards the closed door beside him. "Mint or ginger tea should help her stomach. Crackers too if she can keep them down. It's what my wife took for her morning sickness."

Grateful for the advice, Aiden sought out what was left in the hotel's kitchen. As usual it was mostly canned foods, but he was lucky enough to find a forgotten box of crackers hidden in the far back of the pantry and a cabinet filled with tea leaves were untouched.

While the junior deputy waited for the water to boil his thoughts drifted back to when Faith held his hand. It was strange how her touch made his heart skip a beat. Worse, he felt like a teenage boy again when he held hands with a girl for the first time. He leaned his elbows on a counter and rubbed the bridge of his nose, it was obvious he was falling for Faith more and more each time they interacted.

He tried to squash the growing feelings, they had no future together, but it was getting harder to keep trying to fool himself into believing he didn't feel anything for her. He thought before that they possibly couldn't even remain friends, but who was to say they couldn't? They could still remain in contact, phone calls, letters, he could even visit her. He doubted she would have anyone else visit her, the thought of her being alone in a prison made his heart heavy. When he was a prison guard there were a good number of prisoners that never received visitors or phone calls, they had no friends, no family. It saddened him to think of Faith being in that same position.

But there was the constant nagging in the back of his head that reminded him it wouldn't be proper for him to visit Faith in prison. He was a junior deputy and Faith would be known as a criminal that didn't just create a brainwashing hallucinogenic capable of making a person brain dead, she worked with a family that challenged the authority of not just the local law, but the entire country. How would it look for him to remain on friendly terms with a criminal like her? It could jeopardize his career, and he only just begun it!

Aiden slammed his fist down onto the counter. Maybe his father was right, his soft spot for children and women would get him in trouble in his line of work. Could that be Faith's ultimate plan? She was going down, the least she could do was take his career and his credibility. No, with how close they've become in recent days he could sense the honesty in her.

The tea kettle began to whistle, but he paid it no mind. He rubbed his eyes in frustration. Yes, he could finally admit to himself he was falling for Faith, hard. He just wished they met under different circumstances, he wished she wasn't a Seed, he wished they could spend more time together, learn more about each other. He wanted to know what her favorite color was, her favorite food, favorite movie, he wanted to know if she would be interested in fishing. To be able to go out in the lake on a boat, sit back and chat over a few beers while they waited for the fish to bite. He wanted to hear her laughter again, see that adorable dimple on her cheek when she smiled. He wanted to let her kiss him when she leaned towards him in the jail.

The whistling seemed to get louder and even though it was a minor annoyance it was enough to crack all of the emotions he tried so hard to keep bottled within himself. The guilt of killing countless people, he killed Jayce, a child, he failed to help so many people, failed to do his job. But most of all he was frustrated with himself that he allowed Faith Seed to worm her way inside his head. There would always be that tiny doubt in his mind that she was just manipulating him despite the confidence he had in her honesty. She proved to him so many times she was trustworthy. And now he couldn't get her out of his head.

All of his emotions were on the brink of bursting out of his chest and he was suddenly swinging his arm at the whistling kettle to silence it. It was made mostly of metal and it was _hot_ , merely touching it for a second burned his skin. He had to take a few deep breaths before he gave into the temptation to kick at the innocent pot. The last thing he needed was to send boiling water in every direction.

With a deep sigh, Aiden plopped himself onto a nearby stool and slumped. He should keep his distance from Faith, minimize contact with her, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He's seen Faith at her worst, and now she was suffering the consequences of using drugs to possibly comfort herself while she was in Hope County jail. While he would always have that tiny sliver of hesitance to fully trust her, he knew that deep down Rachel was still inside Faith, still alone and in need of anyone willing to offer a helping hand to pull her out of the darkness.

With another sigh, Aiden climbed to his feet and carefully picked up the tea kettle from the floor. It had landed in a way where there was still enough water in it to fill a mug. If Faith was successful in creating a cure, he would consider that her second step to redemption. The first step was when she shared the anti-Bliss concoction.

She had made another batch for the people here at the hotel and he demonstrated its authenticity, it was enough to quell most of the hostility everyone had for her. And with the prospect of her cure to reverse the Angel process, everyone sat back with baited breath. He didn't know how far along she was into making the cure, and with her withdrawals it would probably delay it, but he would have to start arranging a plan to get her out of the place before the resistance felt she outlived her usefulness.

He returned to Faith's room with a steaming mug of mint tea and the crackers.

Most of the hotel rooms still had the luggage from the former occupants before the cult took over the county by force. Faith's room was one of them. When Aiden stepped into her room she was finished with her shower and sat on the edge of the bed, she sported a pair of blue basketball shorts that reached down to her calves and a black tank top. It seemed like the previous occupant of her room was male. Aiden couldn't stifle the snicker that escaped him when he saw Faith, even when she wore men's clothes that were much too large for her she still looked radiant. His sudden change of thoughts just from being around her made him want her more. He was different in her presence, he felt like he could be himself, he didn't have to be the leader or the problem solver.

"I don't know if you like tea," Aiden told her as he crossed the room. He handed her the steaming mug before he set the packet of crackers on the bedside table. "But it should help your stomach."

Faith was still pale looking, but she looked much more refreshed. Aiden pressed a hand to her forehead again, the shower helped lower her fever, but she was still a little warm. As she sipped the steaming tea, Aiden sat next to her.

"Listen, Faith," he started. "Your illness isn't because of food poisoning, is it?"

The woman next to him visibly stiffened. It took her a moment before she finally nodded, but she said nothing more.

"It has something to do with those marks on your arm, doesn't it?" She was still silent, but she lowered her head in guilt. Aiden sighed softly. "I'm sorry."

Faith looked up at him with a frown. "Why," she licked her lips and cleared her throat, her voice sounded a little rough. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"Tell me truthfully, Faith," Aiden began, "you didn't get the drugs yourself, did you? Someone gave them to you. Right?"

She pressed her lips together. After a moment she gave a small nod.

"Were they forced onto you?"

She answered by shaking her head.

"You said you took them before the cult as a form of comfort, right? It was a way to get away from everything."

Another nod.

"So my guess is that you took them now as a way to comfort yourself from what my friends did to you."

Faith didn't answer, but she didn't deny it either. That was as much as a confirmation to Aiden's theory as he would get from her.

"That's why I'm apologizing. I put you in that situation. And I'm sorry for that. Your safety was my responsibility and I failed. Now you're," he paused and motioned to her with a hand, "you're going through hell. I've seen what people go through during drug withdrawals. It's horrible. I'm sorry."

Despite the dimmed lighting in the room, Aiden could see how Faith's eyes softened as she listened to his rant. Finally, she shook her head.

"My own fault," she said softly, "I've had a lot of time to think and...it's my family's fault for how your friends treated me. Violence begets violence. I deserved it."

It was Aiden's turn to frown. "While that may be true, I had hoped my friends were above that. If we're not open to forgiveness, we're no better than the cult. A friend of mine in Fall's End, Pastor Jerome taught me that. He's helped some people escape the cult. I should have taken you to him instead. All this could have been avoided."

Faith fingered the rim of her mug. "No, there is also some truth in what the Father preaches. During my first...withdrawal he told me that through delirium and suffering I would find peace. If your friends hadn't treated me the way they did I wouldn't have appreciated your kindness nearly as much as I do now."

"If everyone had treated you like a person—"

"—I might still be loyal to the Father," Faith interrupted.

"Or you could have regretted your decisions," Aiden argued.

A soft huff escaped the Bliss herald. "It's fruitless to debate how differently things would have worked out. What's done is done. We're here now, I'm close to creating the Angel reversal and then you'll be ready to face the Father."

Aiden shook his head. "You're really something else, Faith." A small smile grew on his face. "Despite what Jess did to you, you still saved her life. And you've been working hard to bring her back."

The younger woman sighed. "I didn't save her life because I _wanted_ to."

"Then why did you do it?"

Faith looked at him then. "Because she's...important to you. I didn't want to see you sad."

Aiden gripped his pants hard. It took all of his willpower not to pull the woman into a tight embrace. "There you go again doing things to make others happy. Have you done anything that makes _you_ happy?"

A wrinkle between Faith's delicate eyebrows formed.

"You're wrong about one thing though."

She tilted her head curiously. While most people Aiden knew would become upset at being told they were wrong, Faith merely waited to hear his reason for it.

"You didn't deserve that kind of treatment."

"But I did _horrible_ things, Aiden. Many of the people here have lost their loved ones because of me."

"Did you _want_ to hurt those people? Did you truly send people to kill others?" He eyed her body language critically.

"No," she answered simply and held his gaze. "But I accepted the Father's cruelty, I believed it was necessary, and then I took it as my purpose to do what he expected. I turned a blind eye to the violence around me."

"And it all comes down to the very reason _why_ you followed Joseph. You only wanted what you didn't have all your life, and unfortunately the price for it was very high. You didn't deserve the tragic life you've had; no one deserves that kind of pain and loneliness."

Faith grimaced and looked down. Aiden waited until she lifted her chin back up and looked at him again.

"Despite all the abuse and bullying you endured you remained a good, kind, beautiful and smart woman. What you did deserve from your parents was their love and protection. You didn't deserve the bullying or cold indifference from everyone else. And even when you joined the cult you still tried to avoid violence. The only thing a person like you deserves is to be loved, cherished and protected."

There was a shine in Faith's eyes as looked at him, then she finally broke the eye contact and looked down. She fumbled with her mug for a moment before she set it on the bedside table. "What we deserve and actually get rarely coincide," she whispered. "The tea helped, thank you." She appeared to hesitate a moment before she placed a hand on Aiden's thigh. "Thank you, for everything. No one's done that for me before. But I'm tired."

He nodded. "Get some rest. Oh, and Howard suggests sleeping sitting upright." He helped her prop some pillows against the headrest, it didn't take long for her breathing to slow after she closed her eyes.

With the memory of her hand on his leg still implanted in his brain, Aiden knew he wouldn't get much sleep. He took Howard's place for a few hours before he retired for the night.

* * *

The evening was rough. Despite how exhausted Faith was she couldn't sleep for any longer than an hour. She would either wake up nauseated or she would just wake and couldn't go back to sleep. It was frustrating, and there were a few times that she wanted to snap at Aiden when he hovered over her. But her appreciation for him trying to comfort and take care of her overpowered her misery.

She hadn't eaten in well over twenty-four hours so all she would vomit was bile and stomach acid, plus the little tea or water she would try to drink. When her stomach cramps eased, she tried to work on the cure. She had little progress.

"You should try to rest," Aiden reminded her for the twelfth time. Faith had kept count.

She sighed, but continued pouring some solutions together. "I can't sleep, and this is a welcome distraction." She hadn't told Aiden that besides her cramps and nausea, she was having a near unbearable craving for another dose. Working helped keep her mind off the cravings a little. It also helped distract her from her thoughts.

Her mind kept replaying Aiden's words from the previous night. It was hard to describe how she felt when he told her that she deserved better, that she deserved the one thing she only ever wanted. She waited and hoped he would go further and admit to wanting to give her what he felt she deserved, but when he didn't, she physically felt a pain in her chest. She knew it wasn't biologically possible for a heart to be broken, but that's how it felt.

She wanted Aiden, but she knew it wouldn't be possible.

So, she did her best to force last night's conversation out of her head and poured all of her concentration on her work. It was still difficult when powerful waves of nausea or stomach cramps struck, but at least Aiden's comfort helped her feel better, it got her to not dwell on wanting more drugs just so she could stop feeling so horrible. But she could only take so much.

Midway through the day, Faith was feeling so exhausted mentally from pushing herself to stabilize the cure, physically from being so sick and emotionally from wanting more from Aiden that she finally cracked.

She was hunched over the toilet waiting to see if her body would continue expelling the little contents of her stomach when she failed to suppress the tears that leaked out of her eyes. She looked to Aiden, he had been beside her again, holding her hair and rubbing her back.

"Please, Aiden," she pleaded with a hoarse voice. "I need more, another dose, anything to make this go away."

Aiden frowned so deeply his eyebrows nearly touched. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!" Faith cried out. "Just one more so I can feel normal again. Just one. No more after that. Please."

"No," he told her firmly, "you may feel better now but then you'll end up like this again. And what then? You take to the needle again to avoid the withdrawals? It'll never end. No, Faith."

It was like her body reacted upon hearing the word no and rebelled. She dry heaved twice, the action flared a stomach cramp and she curled up to ease the pain. A sob escaped her.

"Please," she begged.

Her vision blurred from her tears; all she could see was movement from Aiden. She recognized the warm strength of his arms as they wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her until her cheek pressed against his chest.

"You don't need that stuff. Not anymore. You did this before and got through it. You can do it again."

"I can't," she cried.

His embrace tightened. "You're so much stronger than you think, Faith. You've been through literal hell and back and you're still the same person. You will get through this."

Aiden's encouragement helped ground her and give her the motivation to make his words true. She still craved another dose, but in a few more days she would get through it. Content in his arms, Faith's sobs and rapid breathing settled. Her small outburst left her feeling drained. With the warmth of Aiden's embrace she started to doze off.

Aiden pulled away slightly. "Let's get you to bed," he told her.

Faith muttered something under her breath, her arms wrapped around his waist in an attempt to act like an anchor and keep him rooted on the spot. She was so comfortable she didn't want either of them to move. The junior deputy chuckled, the deep vibration of the act lulled Faith deeper into slumber's seduction.

"Come on, the bed will be more comfortable. You've been pushing yourself hard today, a little rest will be all you need to figure out the cure."

With his help, Faith climbed to her feet with shaking legs. He led her to the bed and that was all she remembered. The next thing she knew was waking up to an empty room, but her observant eyes noticed a mug of tea on the bedside table. It was fresh, steam danced above the liquid. She slowly sipped at it to settle the churning of her stomach.

When the tea stayed down, she stood and felt coherent enough to crave a shower. The suitcase in her room had plenty of clothes to borrow, but it was filled only with men's clothes that were much too large for her. She wondered if she could have Aiden bring her a bag with women's clothes, or if she could at least wash her own. She much preferred to use her own undergarments, but they were in need of a wash.

The sound of the shower attracted Aiden. A few minutes after she finished showering, he checked in on her.

"Hey," he greeted. "How are you feeling? Hungry?"

The mere thought of food made Faith groan. She quickly shook her head. "I do feel better after some sleep, but I don't think I'm ready for food just yet."

The older male nodded and turned to leave the room, but Faith quickly stopped him. "Could I leave this room so I could at least wash some clothes? Borrowing clothes is one thing, but I draw the line at borrowing underwear."

Aiden looked to ponder the request for a moment and then he shrugged one shoulder. "That shouldn't be a problem. No one really seems to use the laundry room anyway. Got your things?"

Faith bundled her clothes into a pile in her arms and followed the junior deputy. The hotel seemed deserted for the most part. Most of the men and women could be heard talking from the first floor or seen patrolling outside. There were two men sitting in the far corner of the second floor behind a bar. They ceased their conversation and openly stared at Faith and Aiden as they passed by. Faith was worried they would be followed, but the men stayed where they were and resumed their conversation once they were out of view.

"So here we are."

Faith looked around. The room was small with a few washers and dryers against the farthest wall, shelves hung above the machines where both liquid and powdered detergent and fabric softeners rested. Faith assumed Aiden would hover over her as he's done whenever he checked in on her and found her sick in the bathroom, but he stepped out of the room where his heavy footsteps could be heard pacing.

Thankfully there were several small luggage bags dumped in a corner, some of them had been opened and clothes spilled out onto the floor. Faith tossed her own clothes into an unused washer and helped herself to rummaging through the bags. If she could just find some decent clothes she would be satisfied. She hated having to walk around in basketball shorts that may as well have been pants and sport jerseys.

One bag proved to be useful. Its owner had been a woman with a very similar physique as Faith. There were several pairs of jeans, shorts, joggers, mostly t-shirts, and even pajamas. She pulled the bag aside to take back with her and continued looking through the bags in hopes of finding shoes that would fit. The current ones she had were a little too big which made it difficult to walk. If she ever had to run she preferred to be wearing shoes that were in her size.

She couldn't help but smile when she opened another bag and found it practically halfway filled with candy. It had been so long since she had any sweets, she didn't have much of a sweet tooth, but every now and then she craved chocolate. Would Aiden be against her taking any? She peered over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't watching her. With no sign of him she grabbed some chocolate bars and put them into the bag she claimed for herself.

The next bag she opened she heard a paper rip when she pulled the zipper. It looked to be a handwritten letter, dirty and crumbled. Curious, she picked up the two pieces of paper and began to read.

 _You're not the first one, Selena._

 _You're not the first woman he's used up and thrown away._

 _For years I'd been hearing this Faith Seed was tall as her brother, with black hair. Couldn't miss her._

 _And then I saw you in one of their trucks last week, yellow hair in the breeze, and heard them calling you Faith._

 _He thinks he can just SWAP YOU OUT. Like you don't got a brain of your own._

 _God knows who you are, and so do you._

 _Selena, I love you._

 _Don't lose yourself to this._

Faith felt her heart sink the more she read. By the time she finished her chest swelled with sorrow. She knew she wasn't the first. And she remembered the other letter that Tracey showed her. But she couldn't help feeling like she had been betrayed.

The Father made her feel like she was special. She truly felt like he loved her like a sister. He legally adopted her as such. But to know that he made other women feel the same way and yet he replaced them so easily, she couldn't fight the growing sense of doubt for his feelings towards her.

Tracey and Aiden were right. She was special to him because of her role in co-creating the Bliss. If she hadn't helped create it would someone else be known as Faith Seed? When news of her death reached his ears did he have a replacement ready?

The thought made her chest hurt and tears cascaded down her cheeks. She didn't want Aiden to hear her, she embarrassed herself in front of him plenty of times now. As much as she cherished the way he would comfort her she just wanted to be alone. She would have to become used to it after all. She no longer had a family. She lost her only friend.

She was alone again.

Faith couldn't keep the growing sob quiet. The moment she sniffled she sensed Aiden behind her. Before he could ask what was wrong, she turned and handed him the torn letter.

He took the letter and read it quickly. His expression started with curiosity and then turned to anger. His anger was contagious, the more Faith digested the idea of being so easily replaceable her sorrow melted into anger as well.

"I'm sorry," Aiden told her gently.

He seemed to want to offer her comfort, but Faith was feeling much too angry. She took a step back and shook her head before she turned her attention back to the clothes she had washing. They were done so she tossed them into a dryer. She didn't feel like talking, there wasn't anything to say. And she was starting to feel nauseous again. But whether she was feeling sick because of her withdrawals or from the betrayal she felt she didn't know. Not that it mattered.

Once her clothes were done, she shoved them into her new bag and returned to her room with Aiden trailing behind.

"Need anything else?"

Faith nodded. "I need more water from the hot springs."

To distract herself from everything, Faith poured herself into her work. There were still a few times she couldn't ignore the nausea, but she always forced herself to stand back up and return to her lab equipment. She lost track of time, especially since she had no way to measure it with no watch and the hotel room had no clock. When night had fallen, she covered the window with the thick curtain and turned the lights on. She was unsure if it was the next morning or afternoon when she realized she did it.

It was truly like that saying, she felt so relieved it was literally as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled as she looked at the small flask that was filled with a light blue liquid.

It was the cure.

The feelings of sorrow and self pity were gone and replaced with excitement.

"Aiden!" She shouted.

Not a second passed when the door slammed open. Only it wasn't Aiden who rushed in with a rifle drawn, it was Howard. He scanned the room for any sign of a threat, when he found none he relaxed and then looked at Faith.

She watched him with a huge grin and pointed to the flask on the table. "Please bring Aiden. And tell him to bring Jess."


End file.
